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It’s Not Porn, It’s HBO

“Tell Me You Love Me” / The TV Whore
Sept. 10, 2007

TV Reviews | September 10, 2007 | Comments (27)


If you’ve heard anything about HBO’s newest show, “Tell Me You Love Me” (Sundays, 9 p.m.), you’ve surely heard about the sex. The show focuses on three different couples with troubled relationships, and because sex is an integral part of a relationship, so too is it an integral part of this show. And as all the reviews and stories have said, there is a lot of sex. And it’s graphic sex. At least one scene has you wondering whether there was penetration and another scene certainly appears to show someone actually being brought to, uhm, happy time. But the show isn’t about the sex. Rather, it’s about the harsh and ugly underside of relationships, and the show’s realistic and mostly non-erotic sex is intended to be just one of several windows into the troubles had by the various couples.

As for those couples, they’re rather generic pairings which can be conveniently summed up as an age-group coupled with a dysfunction. There’s the twenty-somethings, Jamie and Hugo: Despite the fact that they’re engaged, Hugo isn’t necessarily ready to settle down with just one woman. Then there’s the thirty-somethings Carolyn and Palek: They’re having difficulty with the whole conceiving a kid thing. And there’s the forty-somethings, Katie and Dave: They have a dead-fish sex life, not having nookied in almost a year. The three couples are supposedly bound together, for the purpose of this show, by the fact that they’re all seeing the same therapist (I say “supposedly” because one couple hasn’t made it to the therapist by the end of the first episode, but I understand they’ll get there at some point). And that therapist, the sixty-something Dr. May Foster, would also appear to have some relationship dysfunction of her own (although there’s only the merest hint of it in the first episode).

Truthfully, the characters aren’t quite this over-simplified, but from the first episode (and the previews for the second), they don’t seem all that much more in-depth. Which of course makes it hard to care about them. I mean, the actors are giving some really solid performances but, as good as they are, I just don’t much care if the younger ones stay together, if the middle ones get knocked up or if the older ones ever have sex again. And my lack of interest isn’t helped any by the generally rote and generic dialogue. I suspect that much of the dialogue is intentionally rote and generic, since the underlying goal of the show is its attempt for realism, and aren’t many real conversations rather dull and generic? But that’s why “true” reality TV rarely works — reality just ain’t that interesting. So while the show’s goal of realism is commendable in the abstract, it winds up making the whole thing feel a bit slow-paced and dull at times.

And for me, thing aren’t helped any by the “what” which the show is trying to realistically portray, namely, these hard and complicated relationships. I have nothing against a show that tries to get a bit gritty and heavy-hearted — in fact, I’ve surely called for more such shows in the past. But I’m just not that interested in seeing troubled relationships played out and beat to death on my TV screen (and my understanding is that things will get considerably uglier for these couples, especially the thirty-somethings, as the series progresses). While I haven’t had any of these specific problems, per se, in any of my relationships, I’ve certainly had some of the same (or related) conversations and arguments. And I suspect this is true for many of you — even if you haven’t had the exact same argument, you’ve probably had ones which had the same emotion and feeling at their core. The result of this, for me at least, is that it all has a bit of a “been there, done that” feel. And this surely won’t be helped any by the fact that we’ll apparently see the same arguments over and over again as the show progresses (which is certainly another “reality” part of relationships).

So when you boil it down, this is one of those shows which the critic in me applauds, but the viewer in me just isn’t that into it. Especially on a Sunday night, when I’m gearing up for another dragging week at work. If I’m going to watch dark and dismal stuff to get myself ready for yet another work week, well, that’s what the Philadelphia Eagles are for.

Thoughts on a night’s sleep: So I wrote this review late last night, after watching the Giants get beat by the despicable T.O. and his Cowgirls, and then I slept on it. This morning, I find myself feeling somewhat less harsh about the show than the above review sounds. While its pacing is slow, there’s something slightly compelling about the voyeuristic view into these relationships, even if there is a “been there, done that” feel. I think it’s largely due to the actors — as I said, I don’t feel invested in the characters or much care what happens to them, but I do feel strangely compelled to keep watching the performances. So while I’m sticking to my sentiment that this isn’t something I will watch on Sunday nights, I think I may keep recording it for mid-week while-I-work viewings.


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Seth Freilich is Pajiba’s television editor. Last night he had sweet, sweet dreams of sixty-year-old oral sex, thanks to HBO.


Hatchet | Pajiba Love 09/10/07





Comments

Watching the Giants kick the Cowboys asses can definitely inspire a change of heart.

Posted by: Rachael at September 10, 2007 2:21 PM

Well, I didn't set out to watch any of this show, but the husband happened upon it while flipping through the dozen or so HBO channels we currently have, and I believe we caught the "holy shit are they really having sex?" scene before giving up and going to bed. All I saw was boob, cooch, boob, wang, boob, thrusting ass. And it was only 9:15 or so.

I miss Deadwood.

Posted by: Kolby at September 10, 2007 2:24 PM

Well Mr. Whore, The time has come for me to express how much I enjoy reading your column! I don't in fact have television in my home (we have a physical TV, but we only use it to watch movies on the DVD/VCR player and it doesn't even get basic channels), but through reading you, I've successfully touched on the few shows that are worth Netflixing (i.e. the glorious Arrested Development, etc.) and have happily brought them into my life. Thanks for being so honest with your stuff: it means even a chick without TV can appreciate good television.

Posted by: JennieBella at September 10, 2007 2:31 PM

I think you hit the nail on the head with this one. I'll probably watch it when I happen to have a free evening, but I'm not going to go out of my way for it.

I miss the Flight of the Conchords theme song and the mishaps of Johnny Drama that used to brighten my Sunday nights!

Posted by: idgiepug at September 10, 2007 2:49 PM

Unrelated, but can you guys get rid of these annoying ads in the middle of the homepage? For a second I almost thought they were Pajiba Guides.

Posted by: Henry at September 10, 2007 3:05 PM

"If I'm going to watch dark and dismal stuff to get myself ready for yet another work week, well, that's what the Philadelphia Eagles are for."

Seth, you want to get together and beat the crap out of Greg Lewis? I can't believe we're one week in and I'm already feeling stabby.

Posted by: Julie at September 10, 2007 3:31 PM

Word to the whole review.

Did it bother anybody else that every single couple was white?

Posted by: Ginger at September 10, 2007 4:17 PM

Thanks JennieBella - I'm always happy to help guide folks towards good TV, which the DVD age certainly makes possible even without actually waching TV.

And Julie - as angry as I am at Greg Lewis, I'm more ready to stick a shiv in Andy Reid for cutting Bloom after the skier took punt return duty all the livelong preseason. ...Don't get me started.

Posted by: Seth at September 10, 2007 6:05 PM

I never thought I could be that bored from that much sex. And Ginger you're right, I think a big part of it is that the show is so white and straight, almost distractingly so. It's just got this waspy square aesthetic, plus fucking. I really can't put it into words. Like yuppies who feel oppressed because they've never been oppressed, and they can't communicate without intervention. Jesus.

Posted by: Piato at September 10, 2007 8:12 PM

Mind you, I haven't seen this show, nor do I intend to, I just really have a bone to pick with all these shows that use sex as a shock factor. "Sex in the City" may have been good while it lasted, but the reruns seem really dated. Any precedents that that show set have long turned stale, in my opinnion. I would really enjoy it if the t.v. gods would put a moritorium on shows that feel the need to display characters getting their freak on. There has surely got to be humor and insight to mine from other areas of modern life. This may sound old fashion, but if you want to watch nudie people getting it on, watch porn. There's a lot less boring dialogue.

Posted by: AllGussiedUp at September 10, 2007 9:54 PM

By the way, I have nothing against sex, or romance for that matter. I just like my movie & t.v. sex IMPLIED rather than splattered all over the screen.

Posted by: AllGussiedUp at September 10, 2007 9:57 PM

I wanted to tune into this, but so many of the reviews say the same thing; it's just too slow. No thanks. And I can watch porn anytime if I just want to see people screwing. The most compelling thing about this show seemed to be the Massive Attack song playing during the promo. Oh well.

Posted by: Brie at September 10, 2007 11:13 PM

Well, I fucking LOVE this show. Exquisite writing, direction and acting make for the trifecta of Yet Another Winner from HBO.

Posted by: Maryscott O'Connor at September 11, 2007 3:21 AM

Well, I fucking LOVE this show. Exquisite writing, direction and acting make for the trifecta of Yet Another Winner from HBO.

Posted by: Maryscott O'Connor at September 11, 2007 3:21 AM

SORRY ABOUT THAT...

Posted by: Maryscott O'Connor at September 11, 2007 3:25 AM

I have to say, I watched the first 2 episodes last night and I LOVED this show. Yes, the sex is a bit much, but I have a feeling that it will calm down soon.
The only thing that disturbs me was Dr. Foster's sixty-something year old blowjob. UGH!
Other than that, I think HBO has something good here...

Posted by: Kathryn at September 11, 2007 9:47 AM

Sorry, I hated this freaking show. The forty-something wife was so whiny I wanted to *Betty Davis voice* slap. her. face. I'm in a fortysomething marriage, and I can tell you NO self-respecting woman of this age would whine that much about sex she doesn't even really want. And baby, if she wanted it, she could get it, ok? So the whole thing is pointless.
And excuse me, but are twenty-something women THAT desperate for validation? I don't think so. Going by the example of my daughter, the girl in the show is just pathetic.

Posted by: Sasha at September 11, 2007 10:20 AM

so you dont like sex and dont know your daughter very well. Sounds like another episode to me ;)

Posted by: jj at September 11, 2007 11:15 AM

jj, how do you extrapolate from what I wrote that I don't like sex and I don't know my daughter? In fact, my husband and I have a great sex life. Actually, my libido is a little more active than his these days, so when he isn't in the mood, I know how to go about gettting him into it. Get it? And with my daughter as an example, I can declare the twenty-something character in the show "pathetic". Get it?

Posted by: Sasha at September 11, 2007 12:25 PM

And me, with my HBO-less home.

Oh DVDs, what an innovation you are.

Posted by: Kevin Longrie at September 11, 2007 2:55 PM

I think what JJ means, Sasha, is that you implied that the 40yo woman doesn't want sex (the character or women in general, it's not clear). And were you ever a girl in your twenties? Hell, were you ever a girl? Lots of us seek validation, at any age... Kudos to your daughter, but she's the exception, not the rule, unfortunately.

Posted by: julie at September 11, 2007 4:52 PM

i was bored. even the balls were boring. we all know these types of people, and its boring. like listening to parents go on and on about their kids, or newly in-loves yapping about the new boy/girl friend, or listening to people's dreams: frickin BO-RING.

Posted by: jads at September 11, 2007 5:58 PM

I laughed my ass off at the scene where the hot middle-aged daddy has a wank while his (boring) wife is in the shower, and then catches him mid-stroke. All I could think of was 'wow, is heterosex really this dull? Are women that squeamish?' In a gay relationship, you catch your bf jerking off and you either enjoy the view or join in, side-by-side & trying different grips.
I did however enjoy watching the very sexy coitus between Carolyn & Palek, despite his stupid name and very pretty aging twink face. They actually seemed to be enjoying themselves. The youngest couple was the most tedious, especially the girl. What a conservative!

Posted by: Matt at September 11, 2007 7:02 PM

lol, sasha, I think jj was being ironic ;) - and I think you overreacted a little.

Posted by: anna at September 11, 2007 7:37 PM

After Shortbus, I don't think I'm quite ready to jump right back on the "sex rendered grotesque" bandwagon.

Posted by: Craig at September 11, 2007 9:44 PM

Yay! Non-PPV masturbatory material!

Posted by: Justine at September 13, 2007 12:00 AM

I always feel irritated whenever a guy touches me, but on the contrary i wet my panties almost all the time when i'm with a fellow girl. now i want to marry raise kids and settle down. this now pose as a big problem to me.

Posted by: Hope at March 7, 2008 3:23 AM





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