Brad: We gotta find forty pounds of seal meat, lace it with Ketamine, find that bear, knock it out, and steal it’s baby. Dave: I like it. Psychological warfare. But first, we gotta throw a memorial for a guy we barely even know. Brad: Yeah… and then we do the seal meat thing. Dave: And what’s uppp? I’ll get you inside.
“Panda’s are like the breast cancer of animal charities.” — Jane
“Blood is thicker than annoying.” —Max
“My smoothie budget is out of control. Daddy don’t do domestic papaya!” — Brad
Alex: I stapled on five feathers. Why feathers? Jane: Why staples?
“I hate kids. And I’m not talking the type I hate that goes away after a series of zany misadventures where we grow to love each other. I’m talking about a blistering hate for them and their creepy tiny little features.” — Max
Of course there’s a heaven. And clouds are made of candy, and you can eat free tacos even if you never get a tattoo… And everyone is happy all the time and anyways, it doesn’t even matter because by the time you guys are that old they will have invented magical robots to help us live forever. —Penny