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The Misery Channel Just Got More Miserable

By Michael Murray | Posted Under TV Reviews | Comments (16)



runawaysquad.jpg

Joe Mazzilli has the blunt appearance of guy who really likes to eat meat.

Sausages, in particular.

Looking at him, you’d think that in his younger days his buddies on the Jersey Shore might have called him The Mazz, or maybe The Mazzurbator.

He has that sort of vibe about him.

Likely closer to 60 than 50, Mazzilli is pumped up and beefy, proudly sporting his thinning, dyed hair like it was some studly crown. Always in a tight, black muscle shirt and wearing a jangle of classy jewelry, he’s an utter cliché, the sort of guy who probably sits around laughing his ass off while watching ancient DVD’s of Andrew Dice Clay. And it’s this man who is the PI at the helm of A&E’s new reality series “Runaway Squad.”



Like A&E staples “Intervention,” “Hoarders” and “Paranormal State,” “Runaway Squad” follows a formula that exploits the sensational and lurid circumstances of its subjects, and then attempts to redeem this exploitation by transforming our prurient fascination with them into compassion. It’s a gritty kind of sentimentalism, one that purports to find the humanity in the afflicted, rather than strip it away.

The premise of “Runaway Squad” is simple. After being contacted by the desperate family of a runaway, Mazzilli leads his team on a search for the missing teen, before hopefully, reuniting them with their worried family.

Like a film noir hero, Mazzilli, in a voice-over thick with hard earned experience, tells us that he served with the NYPD for 15 years busting pimps, mobsters and all manner of miscreants, before applying himself to the mission of finding lost youth. Ominous, one-chord music hums as depressing footage of a pitiless and decaying NYC scroll by. In short order we hear the recorded voice message of a broken parent, imploring Mazzilli for help, and then we see Joe, in extreme close-up, putting on his bling—a warrior girding himself for battle.

The first act of each episode takes us on a fact-finding mission where Mazzilli interviews the parents. It’s here where the emotional context of the show is established. We hear a trembling mother tell us that Jennifer is a “good girl,” while home movies of her in a happier time play in the background. Later, we see a note that Jennifer left her dad, written in the loopy, girlish script of a child, in which she melodramatically apologizes for running away, all the while insisting that she “knows what she’s doing.”

Now, armed with a little background information, Joe and his squad spring into action.

There are about a half-dozen members of the team, each one performing some vague task in the service of the rescue. Primary amongst them is Steve, who like Joe, is also a bulky, ex-NYPD officer who looks like he kind of enjoys kneeing people in the face. Steve always refers to Joe as Boss, and what little levity is present on the show takes place through the Wise Guy interplay between the two men.

Example: While at a gas station, Joe looks out his window at Steve, who is filling up his car in the pouring rain. Jokingly, Joe asks if he would mind pumping his gas, to which Steve, with a big, sloppy grin on his face, replies, “Hey, pump this, OK?” while gesturing down toward his man package.

And that’s pretty much it for the humor.

Like Dog The Bounty Hunter, Mazzilla employs his family on his show. This includes Gemma, his wife. She’s portrayed as a kind of Empath, a calm, non-judgmental frizzy-haired entity who feels your pain. Also in the mix is Joey, Mazzilli’s quiet, slightly emasculated son, who clearly has more of his mother in him than his dad. He’s a behind the scenes, data-entry kind of guy, the person you don’t notice sitting on the bus beside you.

There’s absolutely nothing remarkable, or even particularly interesting about the detective work that Mazzilli and his crew do. They do the obvious and follow up whatever leads that they have.

In the case of Jennifer, we watched through night-vision cameras as Mazzilli staked-out her boyfriend’s home, waiting for some sort of activity to take place. Instantly, the night-vision cameras recall the ghost-hunting genre of reality TV. Watching, I was expecting to see some inexplicable shadow emerge from the gloom, and this seemed oddly appropriate. For those who’ve had a child vanish into a place like New York City, that child must become a kind of phantom, a sorrow that inhabits and haunts every thought and corner of their remaining days.

Usually, Mazzilli is able to facilitate some sort of reunion, where the child—who is never strong-armed to reconciliation—is allowed to return to the family that initiated the search. Jennifer, who never wanted to see her mother again, meets her at a bus station, tightly clutching a little dog in her arms. Mazzilli, all wisdom and tough-guy authority, assumes the role that the hated parent cannot. Portrayed as a kind of Runaway Whisperer, he initiates the first round of therapy, where stubborn parent listens to frustrated child, and they begin to make their awkward and stilted amends.

“Runaway Squad” would almost surely be a more compelling and interesting show if it told its story from the ground level perspective of the child in flight, but that’s a logistical impossibility. And so, over the course of a lightning quick 30 minutes, we see the story through the determined yet passionless eye of Joe Mazzilli, or more appropriately, the production team of Runaway Squad. It’s a superficial formula that’s stamped onto a very complex and difficult transition in the life of a family, but all the same, even in the over wrought, symbolic shorthand the show employs, it’s virtually impossible not to be touched by the sincere presence of love in the lives of real people.

Michael Murray is a freelance writer. For the last three and a half years he’s written a weekly column for the Ottawa Citizen about watching television. He presently lives in Toronto. You can find more of his musings on his blog, or check out his Facebook page.









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Comments

Thanks to the reference, I now have Andrew Dice Clay narrating the thoughts in my head.

Ooooh! Humpty dumpty sat on this file I have to report and got FUCKED!!! Oooooh!!!! Heeeeyyy! Little Miss Muffet, is it time for a fucking lunch break yet! Fucking curds and whey!!! Aaaayyy! Oooh!!!!

Posted by: Lindsay at May 4, 2010 3:10 PM

I can't get past the hair. It is 'do which is a combo of older men past their prime who need to allow themselves to grey: Stallone, Gene Simmons and Jimmy Two-Times in Goodfellas.

It's an entity unto itself.

Posted by: krix at May 4, 2010 3:11 PM

A good review of a terrible show. In short it is Andrew Dice Clay tracking down kids. What a Horrifying concept, and they made it......

Posted by: peanut at May 4, 2010 3:15 PM

Does anyone (BWeaves maybe?) remember back in the day when A&E was the Arts and Entertainment channel and they showed programs that were artsy and entertaining? They were almost like a Sunday night PBS with a bigger budget. What happened?

Posted by: PaddyDog at May 4, 2010 3:56 PM

@ PaddyDog: I guess it wasn't profitable. The A&E honestly and for real stand for The Art of Entertainment now.

We have this channel in Canada called Showcase that used to run a lot of art films and indies, and quality TV series from other countries. Their tagline was Television Without Borders. Now they have a limited amount of original programming, and it's not bad, but otherwise they just run blockbusters and reruns of popular syndicated American TV shows.

I guess not a lot of people were watching it before.

Posted by: Melodie at May 4, 2010 4:33 PM

Honest to God. I have heard of Television Without Borders and I really thought it was a non-profit that brings TVs to people in sub-Saharan Africa. I am not joking.

Posted by: PaddyDog at May 4, 2010 4:40 PM

One step closer to A&E presents: "Punched in the Face When You Have No Legs."

Posted by: sheshakes at May 4, 2010 5:00 PM

Honest to God. I have heard of Television Without Borders and I really thought it was a non-profit that brings TVs to people in sub-Saharan Africa. I am not joking.

Posted by: PaddyDog at May 4, 2010 4:40 PM

@PaddyDog:I'll take that TV. Thanks for making my day.

Posted by: bob at May 4, 2010 5:46 PM

A&E is the tits, and yes I remember A&E from back in the day when they showed all that arts and entertainment shit, I‘m not interested in watching some homo sitting on a mountain playing a flute. Now they show murders and hoes being hoes.

Posted by: Pookie at May 4, 2010 6:00 PM

I think Intervention is great, Hoarders was kind of ok, but Runaway Squad is deadly boring. We tried it out on one of our Facebook Misery Night Watching Thingies and everyone ended up wandering away from their laptops and doing something else during the show. That's how bored we were.

So now we don't even include it in the lineup. Last time, we added True Life on MTV, since that seems to be a pretty well-done show (I know, right? but it's TRUE!). It came on after Intervention and Hoarders seems to have gone away, so: perfect!

I still like A&E ok, but I hate that bounty hunter guy, never watched the exterminator guy, and the husband is WAY more into stuff like The First 48 than I am.

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at May 4, 2010 6:26 PM

I used to be crazy about Intervention as it always struck me as being unmistakably authentic and sincerely heart wrenching, but I find I'm now suffering some Intervention fatigue. It's just so relentlessly depressing, and ultimately pessimistic, as so few of the stories actually seem to have any happy endings. ( Discovery now has a knock-off called Addicted) Hoarders always seemed kind of mean-spirited to me, and repetitive, while Obsessed was just plain batty, practically hysterical. I've always, and this is a guilty pleasure, like Paranormal State, mostly because it's really well produced, and the fecklessness of the Scooby-Doo investigators is always amusing.

At any rate, Runaway Squad is just a lazy knock-off of their successful formula. I really think that they're telling the stories from the wrong point of view. I mean, who cares about Joe? The runaway is the interesting story, not the lead-footed search for the runaway.

Posted by: michael murray at May 4, 2010 7:02 PM

I'm just shocked that you think Andrew Dice Clay ever got printed (yes, I know that's not the right terminology) onto DVD. I think you mean he's watching an ancient copy of Andrew Dice Clay on VHS that has a few holes in places, but still manages to spool through the VCR heads.

Seriously, though, although I love Hoarders because it gives me some nice schadenfreude and gooses my OCD in all the right places, I can't watch Intervention because it's too damn sad, and I think this would be the same.

Posted by: MM at May 4, 2010 7:14 PM

Runaway Squad isn't sad, in fact they make a concerted effort to make a feel good show, always ending on a happy note of rescue and reconciliation, which makes it feel, well, manufactured and fake. It's just not very good, but like Extreme Makeover, or any show of that ilk, any time you see somebody crying, well, you start to tip in the direction, too, even if you've been horribly manipulated to get there...

Posted by: michael murray at May 4, 2010 7:23 PM

"Punched in the Face When You Have No Legs"... what time is it on?

Posted by: The TOADster at May 5, 2010 4:55 PM

How much swearing is there, because my mom probably wouldn't like it.

Posted by: victor. victor immature at May 5, 2010 5:08 PM

Normally I wouldn't respond to a person like
you, someone I never even heard of, but, it is
a beautiful sunny Sunday morning, here in the USA,
and thought I would say a few words. First of
all I would like to say that I am very happy to hear that a racist, like yourself, does not live
in our wonderful country. Secondly, I find you as
disgusting as Andre Dice Clay. Finally, I don't
really care what you say about the show and I have
no control over the editing process, but, I have
brought home many children, saved them from dieing, got them proper medical attention and worked hard to change laws, to help the children
of the world. So, Mr whatever your name is, WHAT
ARE YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS IN LIFE, oh, thats right,
you write trash articles, tell lies, make ethnic
slurs and you are a racist. Please stay in Canada.

Joe Mazzilli
Runaway Squad

Posted by: Joe Mazzilli at May 16, 2010 11:16 AM