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We're Going to Need a Bigger Boat

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Posted Under TV Reviews | Comments (8)

ronmooreprettyhair.jpg

Well the good news is that Ron Moore is getting work again. The bad news is that it doesn’t involve spaceships. The inexplicable news is that it involves the Coast Guard. THR is reporting that NBC has bought “The McCulloch” from Moore via Sony. They say that “the show focuses on the men and women of the fictional Coast Guard cutter The McCulloch as they travel around the world.”

Well if that description captures the excitement of the show it should fit right in with the network that gives us Leno every night. It’s almost as if whoever wrote that description didn’t quite understand what the word “interesting” actually means. Does anyone really look at the phrase “a Coast Guard cutter traveling around the world,” and think “wow, now that’s something I’d pay to see!” Do they call up their friends and explain that the niftiest new show will be debuting and that not only is there a cutter in it, but that it will be traveling? And just why is it traveling anyway? Doesn’t the Coast Guard guard the coast?

This isn’t to belittle the Coast Guard in any way, or the lives they save on a daily basis. I’m sure that there will be an excellent reason the cutter is traveling around the world, and that it’s certainly possible to create a compelling character drama therein. Maybe I’m just overreacting to the inherent letdown of seeing “NBC picks up Ron Moore show,” and then the words “Coast Guard cutter” instead of “Cylon Basestar.”

(source: THR)









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Comments

If there is one thing I have learned from all my years of dedicated TV and movie watching, it's that you absolutely cannot tell the quality of a scripted show from its premise. I believe the two most important things for a good quality show are 1) the script and 2) the actors and director not fucking up the script. So if there are good people both behind and in front of the camera, it's got a good shot.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at November 10, 2010 10:13 AM

This is the Ron Moore who gave us flawed but deep characters as part of Galactica. I'd give him and the team an inning before declaring it crap. I'm unlikely to watch it though since I've tossed the cable box and antenna.

Posted by: idiosynchronic at November 10, 2010 10:26 AM

They say that “the show focuses on the men and women of the fictional Coast Guard cutter The McCulloch as they travel around the world.”

Every time I start to read this, I blackout from boredom. Insomnia cured!

Posted by: jM at November 10, 2010 11:35 AM

That's quite a look he has going for him.

RON: Hey, man, you wanna hang out tonight?

ME: No thanks, Ron Moore.

RON: Aww, come on, maaaan. We can smoke a little bud with my lady friends and open our minds together.

ME: I'm kinda busy. Sorry, Ron Moore.

RON: Duuude, I get it. Life's a drag sometimes. *flips hair* But bro, you're gonna miss out on my sweet bong.

ME: I don't care about your new bong, Ron Moore.

RON: It's cool, man. *slowly runs fingers across beard* Hey, these ladies are ready to go, though. You sure you're not gay or nothin'?

ME: Fuck off, Ron Moore.

Posted by: Kballs at November 10, 2010 12:10 PM

I kind of expect more from Pajiba. Good stories are about people and how they deal with what occurs in their lives. Good writing focuses on this. Buffy wasn't REALLY about fighting vampires. Battlestar wasn't REALLY about robots.

Other shitty premises that have been made into good theater:

Bad real estate decisions (King Lear)
Big catch fisherman gets screwed (Old Man and the Sea)
Asshole gets a visit from his sister in law (Street Car Named Desire)

..and so on. The only thing you should read from a "Coast guard cutter show" in the hands of a good writing crew is "Opportunity for Man against Nature stories". The rest of the traditional conflicts require no special settings - well except maybe Fate, but you can get clever with that one.

-Frob

Posted by: frobme at November 10, 2010 12:41 PM

This could be awesome. By definition they will have to cross into other sovereign jurisdictions just about every week. I can't wait to see the North Korean ep.

Posted by: PaddyDog at November 10, 2010 3:02 PM

He looks like a wrestler, Al Snow. He used to carry around a cosmetology head.

Posted by: courtney at November 11, 2010 11:10 PM

The coast guard does in fact "travel." Coast Guard Cutters are currently operating in the middle east and often participate in joint operations with the navies of other countries, especially Latin American nations in an effort to counter narco-trafficking. I am excited to see what Moore does with the show, and am glad that the Coast Guard is getting a little publicity for once.

Posted by: coastie at February 5, 2011 8:58 AM