The Office (Grade: A generous B- because it was the finale, and they tried really hard. Also, Spader was pretty great.).
“There’s no such thing is a product. There is only sex. Everything is sex. You understand that what I’m telling you is a universal truth?”
“He creeps me out, but I think he might be a genius.” (A universal sentiment held by many when it comes to James Spader)
“Shut up about the sun. SHUT UP ABOUT THE SUN!”
“He invented an app that invents apps.”
“Little advice? Take a day off from the whole Jim shtick. Try caring about something. You might like how it feels, James.”
Parks and Recreation (Grade: B (first episode); B+ (second episode). Good, solid finale with a sad kick in the end, but it fell short of last week’s perfection.)
“I will give 110 percent. As soon as you repeat yourself. In a more interesting way.”
“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. I read that once on a can of lemonade. I like to think it applies to life.”
“When I walked in this morning I saw that the flag was at half mast, I though, ‘All right, another bureaucrat ate it.’ And then I saw it was Lil’ Sebastian. Half mast is too high. Show some damn respect.”
“And this is how Eleanor Roosevelt would kiss.” // “Woah. Eleanor likes the tongue. // Show me Pelosi again.”
“I hope you brought a change of clothes cause your eyes are about to piss tears.”
“You gotta join the company. I’m the bank. Your the money.”
“You gotta live your life like that cow in the video.” // “He was a horse.” // “Yeah. Cause he followed his dreams.”
“Are you mad at me? Because without eyebrows, I can’t tell.”
“Does the carpet match the face?”
“Catching the number 12 bus to Satan’s butthole?”
Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance
I almost bothered to watch The Office, but didn't, so now I have to know: who said the "Jim shtick" line? Because that person is my new hero.
Posted by: Todd at May 20, 2011 10:53 AM
@ Todd: it was Ryan. The only thing funnier than that was when Stanley was explaining his health situation and Ryan said "Noooo, Stanley, you're going to live foreeeeever..." so sarcastically that he almost blew up the universe.
Posted by: Melodie at May 20, 2011 10:59 AM
The Office must make Spader the new boss. He fashioned a character more entertaining than any of the characters they've added in recent years and he did it in two minutes. Imagine what he could do with a season! My crush is gone though. The guy looks like he went to The William Shatner School of Diet and Personal Grooming.
Posted by: becks at May 20, 2011 11:03 AM
It was a great season finale for P&R--sweet, hilarious, and nicely set up a few plots for the next season, which I'm already super excited about.
But, honestly, the whole "scandal" thing is a pretty lame conflict to throw between Ben and Leslie. It's not a scandal! They're both single and they're both grown ups! It's all because of some stupid rule by Chris, which (I'm thinking this is how they'll go) he might break himself when he wants to date Ann some more. So, it's kind of a silly conflict, but I trust the writers and I'm pretty sure they'll make it into something hilarious. Like Leslie's mom getting the hots for Ben.
Then there's Tom leaving (he'll be back and you know it), Ann and Chris, Mouse Rat, Leslie's campaign (my slogan: "DON'T SAY NOPE TO KNOPE!") And Tammy #1! Begin Fantasy Casting! I think it should be ME.
Parks and Rec gets tremendous slack for being so funny, but, for the love of Godtopus, they need to get their storylines together. They keep flailing successfully. I hope they flail upwards. They've started bringing in a lot of running characters from the town and making the town a character as well and that is totally working (credit to whomever mentioned that last week). Ann is in the building so her presence now seems somewhat justified, but she still doesn't mesh with the group. Or is that the point? She's the voice of reason? Tommy Fresh will crawl back ask, "what's crackin'" and reenter the fold. I think they are positioning the story so that Leslie becomes an official member of town government; they can use the election hijinks to carry them through next season and elect her at the end of it. The following season she enters office and they can build from there and move towards the mayoral race.
Leslie and Ben don't match. Any energy the pair do have is from the assiduous efforts of the actors. Their relationship is a snooze; a snooze with very clever dialogue, but a snooze nonetheless. I don't buy any of the stumbling blocks they have put up for their togetherness.
I look forward to Tammy I. I loved it that Tammy II screamed and ran away when she found out her predecessor was present.
I do not get the Lowe thing. He's funny, but he's not that funny. I am literally exhausted by his presence on the show.
The Office was great last night and, once again, proved that they can be bossless and do just fine. Spader deserves an Emmy. I didn't watch Boston Legal (?) but I totally get it now. I liked Romano too, but I generally do. Men of a Certain Age is great and I can't recommend it highly enough. Plus it has Andre Braugher. Who can so no to that?
I'll be hiding from Figgy in the closet on the --- but I have said too much. I must away.
Posted by: Mrs. Julien at May 20, 2011 11:26 AM
Campaign slogan: Say YES to KNOPE!
Posted by: Mrs. Julien at May 20, 2011 11:26 AM
Mrs Julien, I love you, but you're INSANE. Which is part of why I love you, but your lack of commitment to Team Beslie fills me with sadness.
Hee. Julie and I chatted during the episode last night, and it was just one looong string of "EEEEEEEE!" and "HAHAHAHA" and "MAKE OUT!". It was awesome.
I'm with becks. Spader was just fucking awesome and blew everyone else away. It made me miss Boston Legal for the first time since the show ended. Damn, he was good. Jim was good in that scene too.
Now that hair...I hope that was just part of his character.
Posted by: Riles at May 20, 2011 11:33 AM
I KNEW Spader would be genius! He was far and away the best guest star last night. His performance was perfection. Sheer perfection.
I see what you mean becks, but sex with gross Spader would still be Spader Sex, and that's a win in my book. Crush still stands.
I think you got most of the awesome Parks and Rec quotes, but I also really enjoyed, "And he's terrible face-wise!"
Posted by: Mel C. at May 20, 2011 11:35 AM
I was crossing my fingers that one of the quotes was going to be a GIF of Ron avoiding that guy in the circular desk.
"Actually, I prefer the Number 69 train to Humpsville Station..."
"The fourth floor! It's both humid AND freezing. There's a whole room on the fourth floor where they store the knives they've confiscated from people who went to the fourth floor to stab someone!"
"Please tell me you hung up before Ruth Bader Ginsburg..." "Unfortunately not."
When life gives you lemons don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get MAD! I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE!? Demand to see life's manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give (Socrates) Johnson lemons!! Do you know who I am!? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down!!! With the lemons!!! I'm going to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!!!
Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at May 20, 2011 11:52 AM
The best thing of all was the look on Ron effin' Swanson's face as he sat in that circular desk. I will love that forever. Resentment and rage covered with a thin veneer of resignation and tolerance.
Posted by: Three-nineteen at May 20, 2011 12:11 PM
SPADER FOR THE NEW BOSS!!
I wasn't impressed with that British lady at all.
Posted by: junierizzle at May 20, 2011 12:13 PM
So, I'm just re-watching the Office, and is it me, or does Toby look even more like death than usual?! He's so skinny! I'm concerned.
Hey, me again. So, I've been reading comments on the P&R finale and I'm seriously surprised that a lot of people are taking the cynical view of the final scene with Leslie and thinking it means that she's basically breaking up with him. *I* (like the AV Club review) saw it as Leslie deciding that her relationship with Ben is worth hiding. Because if she were to admit it, that would mean either breaking up with him or quitting her job, and she doesn't want to do either. But this means having to keep it secret longer and harder, which she doesn't want to do. So she'll be torn, which is a good place to go to for next season.
Finally, I just don't think Leslie would EVER break up with him over her political career. It's like these people don't even know Leslie Knope.
Yes, Toby looked gaunt. He's been thinner in recent episodes, but his appearance last night was genuinely shocking.
Posted by: Mrs. Julien at May 20, 2011 12:52 PM
The Office:
Did i miss something? Or was Jim Carrey's interview cut? i saw his confessional at the end, and Jim tells Jo about a guy who was insistent about vacation time during his interview... but...?
i mean, i had to run to the bathroom once during the show... so maybe i missed it. But if a Jim Carrey scene was cut in favor of more time with Spader, then that is without a doubt the best decision The Office's show runners have made all season.
Posted by: Scott at May 20, 2011 12:54 PM
FiggyI'm with you, I think she's sticking with Ben and I definitely think they're going to go the route of having Chris break his own rule by dating Ann again. Mrs. J, you are crazy (CRAZY!!) for thinking Leslie and Ben don't match, they're adorable.
Team Beslie!
Posted by: Even Stevens at May 20, 2011 1:16 PM
I've been a shipper since Bo and Hope. I shipped Patch and Kayla. I shipped Patch and Kayla when the actors moved to General Hospital and put them together again because of their smokin' chemistry. I shipped David and Maddie; Sam and Diane; Monica and Chandler; and Luke and Lorelei. I have yelled YAY and sighed for enough ships to fill the Gulf of St. Lawrence. I've been in it for the long haul. I have barnacles. Here is what I have learned: Ben and Leslie DON'T match!
Posted by: Mrs. Julien at May 20, 2011 1:44 PM
If we're going to form a team, I would go with Lesliben.
Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at May 20, 2011 1:45 PM
I second Lesliben :)
They're adorable together. Hopefully the writers will keep them that way next season.
"Yes it is according to Andrew Carnegie. But your demands remind me of a different quote from the great Bill Waterson. 'You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw.'"
I thought this episode was great. The 4th floor returns, the crazy changes in the office, Stewart the officemate cracked up me too.
"Get these fucking balloons out of here."
Posted by: Alex00 at May 20, 2011 4:33 PM
Mrs. Julien, you had me at Bo and Hope (man, that feels like forever ago...I don't even know if Salem exists anymore) but then lost me at Ben and Leslie don't match. I think they're totally adorkable together.
And speaking of hookups, the AV Club made the interesting suggestion to have Donna and Jean-Ralphio get it on. I'm all for as many Jean-Ralphio appearances they wanna throw at me.
Scott, I wondered that about Jim Carrey's scene too. I think they only referenced it at one point (something about a candidate from the Finger Lakes) and then didn't actually show him at all until the very end. Unless, of course, I missed it too?
I can't believe that we're gonna have to wait an entire summer to meet Tammy I!
OK, this could very well get me killed around here but, I've never watched Parks and Rec. Yet. I keep planning to but there's only so much room on my DVR and I left that Thursday space for Community (to which I started watching thanks to you Pajibans).
“I hope you brought a change of clothes cause your eyes are about to piss tears.” makes me regret not forcing myself into this show sooner.
Posted by: Paultera at May 20, 2011 6:28 PM
WHEN DID JAMES SPADER START LOOKING LIKE CHRISTOPHER WALKEN?
Also, many different people wrote that episode of The Office and they never once got together to make it seem like their respective parts of the script meshed. There were moments when I literally didn't know what they were going for. I have adored the hell out of that show, but I'll say it: last night was a goddamned hot mess of a show.
Posted by: Snuggiepants at May 20, 2011 6:44 PM
Paultera, that's what this long, sad, P&R summer is for: catching up! Or watching it all over again, in my case. There's no better time! In fact, you can do like I did and time it so by the time you're done watching the three seasons it'll be time for the next one to start.
I think about this stuff way too much.
Snuggie, you're totally right about The Office feeling like 4 different scripts meshed together. I loved the interviews and the different candidates, but just about everything in between (except for Creed as always) was terrible. Angela's subplot is tired and not funny at ALL, Andy and Erin are exhausting, Gabe needs to die in a fire and everyone else is just...nothing. I've loved the show too, but it just needs to die already.
James Spader should never, ever break from his Sex, Lies and Videotape character. And given Secretary, Boston Legal, and now his Office turn, he appears to agree with me. I rarely actually focus on The Office anymore, but when Spader was onscreen, I lit'rally couldn't look away.
Posted by: Bucky at May 22, 2011 2:47 PM
“He creeps me out, but I think he might be a genius.”
Spader should have this written on his business cards. I don't care how old and puffy he is looking, he's still got it. His scenes were the first time I laughed out loud at "The Office" this season, and I would definitely tune in on the regular next season if he were cast as the boss.
In terms of "P & R", I agree the first episode was a little slow, but I think you under-rated the second. Lil' Sebastian's funeral was masterful, but they also managed to work in some interesting character development. This is probably the only show I'm gonna miss this summer.
I almost bothered to watch The Office, but didn't, so now I have to know: who said the "Jim shtick" line? Because that person is my new hero.