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Pee Wee Gets Sh*tfaced, Kicks Anderson Cooper's Ass

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under TV Reviews | Comments (26)

pee-wee-herman.jpg

Fox News Cold Open

No. God no. I’m not even giving you folks the embed. I don’t want anyone to accidentally click play.

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Monologue

When I wake up on Sundays, somebody over at NBC has always sent me an email containing the embeds I put into these recaps. They usually send the highlights, which apparently includes all but about two skits because they have a very loose definition of “highlights.” I think this is the first time they didn’t send me the embed for the monologue.

There’s a reason.

The Cape Promo

The idea is basically what a high-school talent show would come up with, but the execution is actually pretty funny.

Secret Word

Again, no. I like you all way too much.

Digital Short: Andy and Pee Wee’s Night Out

Yes, yes, awesome, and yes. And more yes. The icing? Anderson Cooper.

SHOTS!


Celebrity Bah Mitzvah

I didn’t get the embed for this, either, which is strange because, besides the Digital Short, this was the best skit of the night. When “SNL” goes up on Hulu, seek this one out.

Record Meeting

A send up on Cee-Lo’s “Forget You,” where everyone uses “forget” instead of “fuck,” etc. Cee Lo is funny in it, because Cee-Lo is forgetting Cee-Lo. He should’ve hosted.

“What’s up, my Nintendo?”

Did everyone know that Cee-Lo was this short? He’s like the black Prisco.

Weekend Update — Constitutional Corner

Who knew Seth Meyers was even capable of being this funny? This is fantastic in every sense, except the NRA sense. If you were to watch only this and the Digital Short, you’d wonder why anyone complained about “SNL.”

Fresh Prince Lost Episodes

Just another excuse for Jay Pharoah to do a spot-on impersonation of Will Smith. Good impersonation, bad skit.

ESPN Deportes

No fucking clue, but Paltrow speaks pretty good Spanish.









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Comments

SHOTS!

Posted by: Whalen at January 16, 2011 11:56 AM

Hee, that Pee-Wee thing even made me cackle, specially when Cooper tries to sit on the chair.

Gwyneth DOES speak really good Spanish. Better than freakin J-Lo or stupid Jessica Alba. Latinas, my ass.

Posted by: Figgy at January 16, 2011 12:21 PM

This was the first time I watched SNL in a while and it was painfully obvious that Cee Lo was the best actor on the show. He also put on two amazing performances.

Posted by: schrome at January 16, 2011 12:26 PM

I just wanted a modest luncheon!

Posted by: Snrub at January 16, 2011 1:43 PM

I'm seriously shocked that you found this episode even remotely entertaining (in contrast to last week, when Jim Carrey hosted) -- especially given all of the GOOP Lady hate. I've been watching SNL since the early nineties, when I was just a wee-little beet, however, my weakness for the show hasn't softened me to the fact that it has been battling some major suck issues for a while now.

That said, you can't even begin to imagine how I've been quivering in sheer anticipation for the blistering tongue of Pajiba to incinerate the living piss out of insufferable she-tofurkey/Ms GOOP's hostin' skillz. And what do you give me? Fucking sunshine and sparkletits! Where the eff is my ever-loving snark, my good man?!

I don't know. Mayhap I'm still sore from last week's crap review of the first episode I recall enjoying in years. YEARS! Something about seeing Jim Carrey stripped of all his bullshit (you know, the talky-talk instead of just carrying on as his weird-as-fuck self) reminded me that he isn't completely loathsome. The air-guitar leg was strangely endearing. I suppose it reminded me of a time when heart wasn't always a wretched chamberpot of despair.

Also I thought the PeeWee digital short was some major easy crap. The only good part was Chairy screaming at Anderson to GTFO.

Harumph!

Posted by: beet salad at January 16, 2011 2:09 PM

Wow. Just wow. The two things that were the absolute worst parts of the show for me were Rowles' highlights. Yikes.

That short was terrible. Among the worst they've ever done. No one cares that the entire premise of the sketch (Andy sits down and meets Pee Wee fucking Herman for the first time and offers to buy him a drink) goes completely out the fucking window at the end as now they're best friends and bad influences on each other? What the fuck? He cast an 80s throwback and a current heartthrob ad it's supposed just be automatically awesome? Awful, awful short.

And the Constitution corner? Shut the fuck up, Meyers. Since the Colin Quinn disaster the assholes doing Update can't just do the fucking news anymore, they've got to do their bullshit smarmy editorials. Look, a talented writer and performer can editorialize and skewer the news, current events, but do it IN THE CONTEXT of the god damn news. Instead, Meyers can't contain himself and almost every damn week he just stops the news to fucking bitch about whatever he was too lazy to write jokes for. He sucks.

Posted by: Matches at January 16, 2011 2:09 PM

I don't know if anybody would call Andy a "heartthrob".

Posted by: Whalen at January 16, 2011 2:15 PM

[lurk]

I enjoy reading the comments on the SNL recaps because you can see the age gap in the Pajiban community.

If you didn't grow up in the 80's-90's (meaning you were born PRE 1980) many SNL jokes will be juuuuust over your head. You might have a vague recollection of the topic, but hazy at best. If you were 1 when the Pee Wee Herman Shoe was on, that short probably went over your head. There, there- it's okay. I've waiting a long time for my childhood to be relevant, and so help me God, so will you little fuckers!

NOW GET OFF MY GODDAMNED LAWN!
[/lurk]

Posted by: FrOprah at January 16, 2011 3:05 PM

Hey Rowles, are doing a special golden globes live thread tonight? Let me know, because if you’re not I’m going to bed early.

Posted by: Pookie at January 16, 2011 3:41 PM

Where can I find video of Cee-Lo performing last night? The full episode on NBC's page doesn't see to have his performances

Posted by: Brian at January 16, 2011 3:43 PM

How many songs did he perform? I found video for Bright Lights. was that it?

Posted by: Brian at January 16, 2011 3:47 PM

To all the young whippersnappers who are going on about how no one gives a rat's ass about Pee-Wee:

HE IS PEE-WEE MUTHAFUCKIN HERMAN AND HE MADE UP 95% OF MY CHILDHOOD SO STEP ASIDE AND LET ME REJOICE!!!

Yes, I shrieked with joy when the camera panned out to show Pee-Wee's overly made-up face and rouged cheeks. And yes, childhood memories came flooding back when Chairry, Pterri and Conky showed up for the Intervention scene! Oddly enough, I don't remember Chairry being such a hard-ass b*tch but that could just be me looking at the past through rose-colored glasses.

Also, Anderson Cooper and his sexy, sexy eyes, which are most definitely national treasures??!

Hell yeah, I love the '80s!

Posted by: Slappysquirrel at January 16, 2011 5:38 PM

The addition of Anderson Cooper makes any sketch watchable. That man is mm-mm good like a can of Campbell's soup.

There's a "cream of" joke in there somewhere, I'm sure.

Who knew Goopy could speak Spanish so well? As a gringa who speaks it fluently, I give her props. Us white people have to work for a good accent, and we don't have the natural advantage of being able to salsa and merengue.

Posted by: Jessica at January 16, 2011 6:27 PM

The Secret Word sketch was funny but only in the sense that GOOPy was obviously told to act like her stuck-up self with a trans-Atlantic accent.

Also, Jay Pharoah could recite the alphabet while doing his Will Smith impersonation and I would watch. I love him.

Posted by: stardust at January 16, 2011 7:05 PM

Hey, hey, I'm not hatin' on Pee Wee. I understand how important he was to the kids, because at the end of the day, it's all about them. Treat them well, let them lead the way, yakkayakka (don't you challenge my love for the eighties, man! I will not hesitate to slap bracelet you and yours to a bloody pulp! I may have come of age in the nineties, but my heart belongs to the cosmic shitshow that came ten years before!).

As for Pee Wee...I personally just can't. From a young age, I had the sense that any adult pretending to be a kid and/or defending the fact that they had "so much love for the innocence of childhood" was creepy and gross (I'm looking at you MJ and Mr Rogers). I have no beef with Paul Reubens -- I loved him in the original Buffy and I don't care who knows. I get the nostalgia, I do. But for the love of Mike, man, enough with the schtick. Just be proud. Proud. Of. Who. You. Are.

I have no idea what I'm talking about at this point. I seriously will just keep watching that digital short for Chairy. I just can't help myself.

Posted by: beet salad at January 16, 2011 7:55 PM

If you were 1 when the Pee Wee Herman Shoe was on, that short probably went over your head.

You must be pretty old (as am I), because that's an Ed Sullivan Freudian slip right there:

"Tonight, we have a really big shoe..."

Good stuff.

Posted by: Uriah Creep at January 16, 2011 9:52 PM

Pee Wee is my forevah lovah.

Posted by: klingonfree at January 16, 2011 10:20 PM

Beet Salad: I just read your post and I am googling Mr Rogers with shaking hands. You HAD BEST be making this up about Mr. Rogers. If I find out there is anything verifiably not kosher about Mr Rogers I WILL NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HOW MUCH EMOTIONAL OVEREATING DO.

Posted by: klingonfree at January 16, 2011 10:26 PM

OK. We're good. Dude was a pillar.

Posted by: klingonfree at January 16, 2011 10:31 PM


Nope. No. No.

Posted by: Jim Doggie at January 16, 2011 10:48 PM

Does she kill herself at the end?

*crosses fingers*

Posted by: becks at January 16, 2011 11:59 PM

Paul Reubens so needs to make a come back. I mean if Neal Patrick Harris could do it why cant he?

I thought he was great in Blow. The film overall kicked ass but never got the respect nor attention it deserved. That was back in 2001, and Pee Wee's still not quite there.

Anyhow, here's hoping to the third installment of Pee Wee Herman the movie. Maybe they can get Tim Burton to direct again. That would be something.

Posted by: Muteki at January 17, 2011 6:02 AM

Paul Reubens so needs to make a come back.

Posted by: Muteki at January 17, 2011 6:02 AM

Rubens IS making a comeback. He has several movies in the works, including an announced Pee-Wee Herman movie, and he's the voice of Jokey in The Smurfs Movie.

Posted by: Uriah Creep at January 17, 2011 6:31 AM

Gwyneth speaks Spanish well because she lived in Spain for a year as a teenager. Part of the reason she wanted to do that PBS road tour with Mario Batali...

Posted by: Sara Tonin at January 17, 2011 11:42 AM

I had SNL on in the background while restlessly roaming my apartment Saturday night, and the only part I found mildly funny was the "forget you" skit leading up to Cee-lo's first song. Though I had been hoping it meant he was going to sing the uncensored version.

Btw, true story - I realized just yesterday that the 3 men in the Langston Hughes musical I'm working on right now...would be amazing casting for a Fresh Prince musical. Man. I did not know I would meet a real-life Carlton. And have to get him to dance. In a non-Carlton way.

Posted by: Sara Tonin at January 17, 2011 11:49 AM

Loved when Anderson tried to sit in Chair-ey, Great fun!

Posted by: JuiceinLA at January 17, 2011 3:15 PM