Ohh! A Supervillain! What We Learned From Last Night's 'Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.'
I Think I Figured Out The Pretty, Bland Girl’s Super Power: It dawned on me as she was running, boobs first, at the camera after having emerged from the pool. I don’t know why it took me so long to see it. In case you missed it…
…her super power is being a really brilliant hacker who only needs gumption and a cell phone to get the job done.
Spoiler Alert? I Guess?: It’s a little disorienting for those of us who haven’t read the comics to know we’re only getting part of the story. I mean, sure, we could read the comics. Or, as is more likely to happen, we could hop on to Wikipedia to get the full significance of Dr. Franklin Hall. Suffice it to say that scientists who fall into a vat/spinning wheel of their own unstable experimental goo, well, their story never ends well, does it?
Seriously, You Guys Aren’t Feeling The Adorable Accented Techs?
I like that the boy one (Fitz? Simmons?) has obviously been raiding Topher’s drawer of inappropriate starches. Go ahead and tell me you wouldn’t appreciate a salty snack whilst saving the world one incomprehensible garble of tech talk at a time?
And the monkey bit while they were planning that op? That was classic Scoobie gang banter. I like this kid. In small doses.
This Is The Wrong Kind Of Cinematic I Keep Talking About: What purpose does this shot serve? The shots of the SUVs were fine and gave us a glimpse into what we could expect/fear from Graviton. But the semi in the air? Oh it just looked cheap and dreadful and unnecessary. No thank you.
How To Fix What’s Wrong: Okay, we can be honest here. The show isn’t exactly blowing your cape back on a weekly basis, is it? With expectations so high, how could it possibly live up? And we’re only three episodes in, so I’m not ready to write the show off. Not by a long shot. The great is still great enough. But if the show is going to be “An Op Of The Week With Larger Connection To Marvel Mythology,” well, that’s fine. I liked Chuck and Alias as much as the next geek. But the show should not, cannot rest on the shoulders of Skye and Ward. They are two of the blandest leads of all time. They are shiny-haired porridge. Heck, I don’t even mind if Skye’s weekly job is to dress cute and flirt her way through an op. But in order for that kind of premise to be remotely interesting, you need to have charisma. You need to be Sarah Walker or Sydney Bristow. Sydney Bristow she ain’t. And don’t even get me started on that swirling vortex of anti-charisma that is Agent Ward. But the show has strengths. These are two of them right here.
I don’t know if the Powers That Be are afraid of focusing the show entirely on two characters who are (gasp!) over 40. But I could watch these two smolder all day. I am curious why Coulson’s muscle memory doesn’t work. (Bot! Clone! Doll!) Sure, I understand the show is meant to be an ensemble. An assembled ensemble. But thus far the focus seems to be on the pretty shiny haired ones and I’m telling you, that’s a big mistake. Huge.
Pajiba Love Express
Here's some Daveed Diggs for you. On Daveed Diggs' digs, actually. That man does things with clothes that should not make sense, but are absolutely perfect. (Go Fug Yourself)
Woody Allen has "so moved on" from his daughter's accusations and says he never even thinks about it. He equates her words about him to a bad review he won't read and comments on how wacky it is that Mia Farrow is his mother-in-law. He is the worst. (Celebitchy)
Not The Worst but still very gross: Leonardo DiCaprio and his
Here are 5 under-the-radar shows. I had never even heard of the first two. (Uproxx)