Pajiba

Okay. I've never actually watched a Tyler Perry trailer. Mainly because you guys have talked about him so much, I already felt like I had. I just watched about 20 seconds of that shit, and Are you KIDDing me? Who the fuck watches these abominations? I know the Medea character has existed before...and they made MORE THAN ONE movie about her???? Oh Godtopus, help me go back to 2 minutes ago when I lived in ignorance. Now I have sad face.

For reasons I don't understand, the guys at my barber shop absolutely LOVE Tyler Perry movies. It could be that all black barbers everywhere have an unholy and unironic appreciation for shitty, shitty movies or that they're all secretly gay. In any event, in three weeks or so, I will be forced to sit through a bootleg of yet another godawful Tyler Perry movie simply because I needed my beard trimmed and so for for that, I again damn Tyler Perry to the deepest and most fetid pits of Hell. Obama's first act in office must be to send Tyler Perry to Guantanamo, increasing his standing at home and abroad while simultaneously eliminating one of America's greatest affronts to international justice.

First I thought, "Hey, wasn't that Sofia Vergara?"

Then the credits rolled and I thought, "Yes! It was Sofia Vergara."

And, then I thought,

"Oh, Sofia Vergara...why must you make my brain hate my penis so much?"

"Why can't you find a role in a project that doesn't leave me dripping with self-loathing and feeling like I need to sterilize my retinas in boiling lye?"

"And why, oh why, did ABC cancel The Knights of Prosperity?"

Damn you, God!

Damn you straight to hell!

Head hit keyboard at :38, my sick son revived me at :49. Then I punched him at 1:00 for making me watch Dr. Phil attempt humor and trashed my laptop. Now I am forced to type this out on one of those relic web/e-mail only things for the TV.

Can you feel the tingling in your fingertips? The chill in your spine? The sweat on your brow? That's called anticipation, folks.

What if I have the shakes, too? Oh wait, that's alcohol withdrawal.

Since she's already been to jail, Madea's to-do list still includes going to camp, school, Africa, saving Christmas, being scared stupid, riding again, and joining the Army. Wow, Jim Varney got around.

I think this is the first time I've been attacked by Pookie. Now I finally feel like a real Eloquent.

As for barbers being thieves, well, in my experience they've been thieves, gun runners, drug dealers, loan sharks and fences, but so long as they keep my natural tight I don't really care.

courtney 2 - I think there was something else besides prostitution going on for that kind of sentence--possibly falsely accused of selling drugs or some such? Yeah, see, now you've sucked me in to also trying to apply logic. I should just stop now.

Take gforcetwo's comment, add Keisha Knight Pulliam, Vanessa Ferlito, and stupid STUPID WIGS.

That is how I feel after seeing this.

But in a change of pace, I will not blame Tyler Perry for this. It isn't his fault. It is indeed the white man's fault. If they would just put the women in decent movies, they wouldn't have to slum like this! All Perry is doing is filling a niche man. It is horrible, bitter filling like horse chestnuts, but it is a filling.

Obama's real first act as president should be the No Black Actor Left Behind Act. Because I will be damned to live in a country where a black guy can be President, but can't get in a better film than Paris fucking Hilton unless it is a biopic.

Fuck you, whitey.

I fault Tyler Perry for his product not just because it is intrinsically awful, because there's a lot of shittay entertainment out there. From interviews I have seen, he is obviously intelligent and sophisticated enough to know better. To me, he is exploiting the hunger of an under-served audience, and that reeks of contempt.

Wha? What just happened? I'm so tired all of a sudden...I think I need a couple of shots of Bushmills and a nap.

You know Tracer's comment made me realize another inequality about being black that hasn't changed despite Obama becoming elected. We often are obligated to know alot of other black people, they're everywhere, they do our hair, we have sex with them, sometimes they even live in our houses. And they just can't seem to understand why Tyler Perry movies are the worst thing to happen to black people since credit cards. WHY IS THERE ALWAYS A CRACKHEAD?! Name me any accomplished black actress from here or abroad and I assure you Tyler Perry will find a way to fit her with a kool-aid weave make her a crackhead and then drag her to church. If he really knew crackheads he would know that that doesn't work as well as he'd have you believe. All of his crimes against black families, black women, sweet little... sexy grown Rudy, and mine eyes have been despicable but when I saw fuckin DR. PHIL. D-R to the PH-I-L in this bitch I realized that he must be trying to kill me, specifically. There may be no one I hate more than Dr. Phil and there he was, shootin the shit with Tyler Perry, who was dressed as a woman. I am officially afraid to mention other things that piss me off for fear that they'll end up in the trailer.
Coming Attractions: Tyler Perry presents: Madea and Hitler Rally to Ban the 'N' Word

Holy CRAP! That's Rudy?

I...I'm gonna go cry into a corner now. My innocence has been shattered.

Tracer, any Madea play was a big hit in my old hair salon; it's a camaraderie thing. The dramatics weren't as bad when he did them as a play, but they just don't translate to film. And I'm being kind.

Vermillion, I honestly can't tell if you're joking, but I agree about Black actors being left behind. Seeing Cuba Gooding Jr. in a fucking Daddy Day Care flick made me want to cry.

Coming Attractions: Tyler Perry presents: Madea and Hitler Rally to Ban the 'N' Word

Coming in 2012, Bitches! My will be done!

I'm not talking about A barber, I'm talking about SOME of the DOZENS of barbers I've known. No one person could commit all those crimes and still have to time to cut my hair (I'm very particular about it).

In any event, I don't expect white people or Hollywood in general to worry at all about the well-being of black folks. Ergo, I'm not as offended or surprised when I see white folks serve up stupid and stereotypical images of black people. Oh sure, every black mugger or rapist shown on "Law and Order" increases the odds I'm going to get followed through the mall, but after 400 years, I've given up expecting America (in general, I know some of my pale brethren and sistren are down with the brown) to look after my welfare. That said, I am offended to see a man who looks like me to not only perpetuate such shameful coonery but to get filthy, stinking rich off of it. I suppose it's better to be thought of as a simpering, licentious chowderhead a la the men in, oh, let's say, "Why Did I Get Married?" instead of a violent predator, but that's mighty cold comfort.

My only question Bullet is why the visceral hate for Perry and his movies and not the same hate for Hollywood that has done a masterful job of stereotyping black people?

What makes you think I don't hate Hollywood for its portrayal of blacks? If that hate is less visceral it's only because I expect a black director to give at least some thought to the stereotypes he perpetuates.

Bullet you already stated that your barber's crimes don't concern you as long as your natural is kept right. Why then should I believe that all of a sudden you have the same amount of hate for Hollywood as you do for Perry? I get a kick out of hearing black people saying some of the most vile and outrageous things you could think of about Perry's themes on black America, but when it comes to Hollywood's portrayal of African Americans they have nothing to say.

Once again, Pookie, you step outside your novelty act to defend Perry. I can enumerate the many reason I hate Perry, which would be common to any filmmaker that shares his lack of any effort to move beyond trite, ridiculous grandstanding in their work. You, on the other hand, continue your defacto argument of saying that somehow we don't hold other directors to the same regard, despite nearly every evidence to the contrary.

In fact, as apparent from Mr. Perry's success, he is getting away with it just fine. He has the easily-amused segment of the black population under lock and key.

And real nice job there, just skating by an out and out "Uncle Tom" accusation. Whoo boy, you got me there. Because it just can't be possible for a black man to have a Tyler Perry movie unless he got a white guy telling him so. Because no black man with his own mind would do such a thing, right?

And the beautiful part is: you don't ever say you like these films. You just bitch when other folks hate them. Maybe you could give one of your 'reviews' on this film between your fictitious escapades with loose women and flirtations with crime. Which, come to think of it, explains your staunch defense of Perry now: you're practically one of his characters.

As soon as you can come up with a better defense than "He's black and white guys get away with it", then I will consider you for even debate. Until then, sir, I will refrain from addressing you on this from this point forward.

What is confusing Pookie is that I think Tracer gave an appropriate response when he said that he is upset with the way Hollywood portrays black people but that Tyler Perry's betrayals in his representations sting more because he is also black. It just comes down to what you think is more egregious, crimes against you committed by a stranger versus crimes against you committed by a neighbor or relative. Most would say its worse when its someone who is supposed to be in your corner versus a type of person who looks nothing like you and apparently thinks nothing of you.

But my question is whom do you think perpetuate racial stereotypes more, Perry or Hollywood?

Sigh. Okay, I'll bite. It doesn't fucking matter who does more to perpetuate stereotypes, because Hollywood as an entity has one responsibility: to make money. Tyler Perry as an individual is in a unique position as a black filmmaker with a degree of clout to make films about blacks that don't pander, condescend and, yes, perpetuate negative stereotypes.

But just so you don't accuse me of refusing to answer your question, here it is: there are definitely aspects of the Hollywood Machine that I hate with a fervor, and unfortunately, Tyler Perry has become one of those.

Son of a bitch! Mulitple posts always divide the impact of the comment by a factor equal to the number of times my damn erratic pinky finger hit the enter button.

Shit.

Math majors represent!! Haha, just kidding. I majored in malt fucking liquor.

Tyler Perry is the shit stain on Rusty Cundieff's shoe.

V, do you really think I would hesitate using "Uncle Tom"? Is it anything I have said in all of my time here at pajiba that would lead you to believe that I would not use "Uncle Tom"? I do not do being politically correct. Yes, you are correct, those of us that like Perry's work are inferior to you, we can only hope to one day become more cultured. V you cannot stop responding to me even if you wanted to.

*sigh*

Clee Shay, every movie director alive is a capitalist. Every movie director alive panders, condescends and yes, even sometimes perpetuate negative stereotypes. But somehow an outside force has made you think that Perry's work epitomizes all that is wrong in Hollywood. Why did you let this happen to you? You've let Hollywood off the hook.

Pookie. Pookie Pookie Pookie. Tyler Perry IS Hollywood, dig? I don't get mad at Maury Povich for those "Who My Baby Daddy" shows he does; I get mad at the dumb bitches who can't keep their unprotected sex straight. If they'd stop behaving like the indiscriminate whores people think black women are, then Maury would have to do a show about something else.

Likewise, I don't get mad at Hollywood for trying to make money off black stereotypes (I'm really sick of typing that word), I get mad at the blacktors and blacktresses who portray (and in Perry's case write and direct) caricatures of common black stereotypes. I also get annoyed at people who pay to see these films and thereby encourage Hollywood to make even more of the same.

If we as a community voted with our wallet, so to speak, and if black Hollywood refused to participate, Hollywood would have to make some better films.

Don't tell me who I should or should not let off the hook, or intimate that I'm so weak-minded that I would let "outside forces" influence me. You don't know dick about me.

"Evrybody got uh life...and wut u do wid dat life iz up to u."

Wow, what pearls of jizzdom Perry spews forth.

However, Judge Mablean (seriously with that name?) redeems it.

you didn't get the memo? it got real 'Bossip comment section' in here for a quick minute

I think the point is that Perry shouldn't be held to a higher standard bc he's black but bc he's a shitty film maker.

As to why talented black actors work with him - that's obvious. Check out the roles available for black actors and you have your answer. If you have to play a stereotype to get paid, wouldn't you rather do it for Perry? Esp if you're a B or C list actor in the 1st place?

On that score, Hollywood is absolutely responsible for the lack of films featuring and catering to a diverse ethnic (it's not redundant) audience. They dont want to take the monetary risk to make something good, when they can serve up the same old shit and make millions.