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"Lip Service," "David Attenborough’s First Life," and "Spooks" Reviewed

By Caspar Salmon | Posted Under TV Reviews | Comments (19)



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Lip Service

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Oh, “Lip Service,” how do I love thee? Let me count the ways. 1. You’re completely terrible and I love to laugh at you. 2. Oh dear, there’s only one way, and it’s that one I just listed. The laughing-at-it way. But honestly, it really is genuinely hilarious and I suppose, if I’m honest, it has picked up since its first episode which, thanks to the BBC’s re-watch service, I can now watch over and over and over to make myself laugh.

It all starts when Shane… sorry, I mean Frankie. It’s a completely different character to Shane from “The L Word,” completely different. She’s called Frankie, for a start, which is a totally different name to “Shane” — and she’s a sexy butch dyke with a short, choppy haircut, jeans, a leather jacket, dark eye make-up and slouchy body language. Oh yeah that’s right, now I think about it she’s 100 percent a shameless Shane rip-off. Anyway, so it all starts when — let’s call her Shankie, a “cool photographer” living in “New York” (signified by a terrible-looking warehouse apartment with white walls, an Apple computer and some designer furniture — blatantly a studio in West London), receives news that her aunt has died, which impels her to return to Glasgow, the town where she lived two years ago with her girlfriend, Cat. We know that Cat and Shankie used to be an item and that their will-they-won’t-they love affair will be the central plot of the show, because every other character is given hilarious exposition dialogue to say, along the lines of, “Won’t it be hard for you to see Shankie again? You two went out for years before she dumped you in an acrimonious way two years ago before departing for New York and only returning now for the funeral of her aunt, who was her only living relative!”

In the start, “Lip Service” also suffered — apart from clunky script and L-Word-itis — from a tendency to try to be too modern. There were scenes where people would be on Facebook and talk about being on Facebook (“She untagged my photos, the bitch!”; “Stop checking out her profile, yeah?” etc), and the cringe factor was almost too high to make it tolerable. Also: the sex scenes, I’m afraid to say, I personally found unrewarding, which is another problem. I hate to get all graphic on you, and I’m a couple of sexualities removed from the intended core audience so I could be wrong, but is there really always that much frigging on the lesbian scene? I know there’s definitely not that much bed-hopping and not so many one-night stands in general, and that most lesbians enjoy a quiet night in with their girlfriend — but this show is also drawing on “Queer As Folk” as an influence, with Shankie taking on some traits of Aidan Gillen in that programme, and I’m happy for it to take liberties with reality as an excuse to show some hot lesbo action. But it’s this frantic frigging that bothers me. Is it really that common, or worth it? I certainly wouldn’t want my clitoris to be roughed up like that. If I had a clitoris.

Anyway, it’s got a lot better since the start, and there’s actually been a fairly satisfactory storyline about Shankie’s true genealogy. I’m fairly fond of Laura Fraser, who plays the sweet Cat, and I think her steady girlfriend, a policewoman, is who I’d go for if I were a lady-loving lady. Yeah, she’s definitely got it going on — and the actor is, I note from Wikipedia, actually a lesbian, which is probably why she’s the only character who makes sense. Elsewhere, there are problems with sexualities ringing false. There’s a strange sub-plot where a man fancies his lesbian friend — except that the dynamic they have is completely gay man/fag-hag, not straight man/lesbo. So the whole thing falls flat.

The latest episode — episode 5 — had some good moments and some good lines, including one where the characters were going to a gay cowboy night, starring “Kenny Rogered and Billy Gay Cyrus.” I’ll keep watching for the dodgy sex and the cringe factor, but “The L Word” needn’t fear too much.

David Attenborough’s First Life

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There’s a problem with writing about David Attenborough. Critics always retreat into a default fawning mode, because, really — here I go — David Attenborough is a wonder of television, a small legend of the screen and an innovator in wildlife documentaries. His enthusiasm is infectious and his life is admirable — you get a tingle from watching him observe the world around him and tell its story; his voice only richer and more oaky with time. He’s one of those people you can’t criticise, like Michael J. Fox. Except that unlike Michael J. Fox, he’s not got an annoying face and has had a brilliant career. BOOM!

This new two-part series sees the great Dave, after a life-time making glorious programmes about life on earth, set off in search of life’s origins themselves. It’s a beautiful end to his career — and this two-parter does feel like a conclusion to his life’s work — because it makes sense of everything he’s done before. It also, in my view, constitutes the much-needed stand that atheists like myself have been hoping Attenborough would take, as one of the most prominent and respected people in British public life. Attenborough would never be so coarse as to deny the existence of a god, but everything he says in this series, it seems to me, refutes the possibility of a deity, in showing how complex forms evolved from simple, base origins.

In this series it’s a treat to see him, now aged 129, ivory comb-over flapping in the breeze, draping himself over rocks to point at intricate fossils, or to watch him breathlessly hobble up to the camera, or comment over startling computer reconstitutions of now-fossilised life. It produces a feeling that’s rare in other programmes — Christina Hendricks’ ass is also a purveyor of it — which is one of wonder.

Attenborough could have rested on his laurels, but even now he is innovating, using brilliant technology to get to the heart of life — and observing his delight in science-revealed-by-science, you get a greater sense of his purpose than, at times, in his wildlife documentaries, which sometimes revelled in animal cuteness; here, you get the bigger picture of the common constitution of life on earth, what links us all, and the great big miracle of the beautiful accident of life on earth.

Spooks

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“Spooks” concluded its 9th (!) series this week, and honestly, like “Lip Service,” I’m afraid to say it shows (in my view) that y’all Americans do this sort of thing much better. “Spooks” (known as “MI:5” in the states) — the programme about Britain’s modern secret services and their constant attempts to prevent people from attacking London — laboured, in its infancy, under comparisons with “24.” As well it should, given that it cynically burglared the whole time-counts and split-screens thing from the K-Suth prog. But it also showed, from the get-go, that it meant to do business. I was so excited when, in the first series, Lisa Faulkner’s character, who had been presented as a main character for the whole series, got brutally murdered in a deep fat fryer in episode 3. God that was good! That was when “Spooks: got its balls out on the table and announced it wanted to play.

Since then, I’m not sure the series has had that many highlights. In fact, there was a particular lowlight a few years back when it turned out after a whole season that the mole at MI5 had been the woman who plays Bridget Jones’s mum. Gemma bloody Jones! She should be resting at home eating scones, not conspiring with the Russkies! Hardly Nina Myers stuff. Still, I stuck with it, on and off, for a couple of years, depending on which actor was playing the James Bond-with-a-heart central role at the time, and had pretty much given up until this year, when I thought I’d revisit it for this column.

Meh. I’d already seen a couple of episodes with the new main guy, this Richard Armitage chap, who plays the enigmatic main spy, Lucas North. And watching this new season just confirmed, in my mind, that Richard Armitage is one of the worst actors to (dis)grace the TV screen. He can barely say his dialogue. Which is a problem when your last season on the show hinges on (SPOILER ALERT!) the mystery of whether you’re a good guy or a bad guy who’s been playing a double game. If he is a bad guy, what is it that he wants and when is he going to turn against MI5? This is a pretty good storyline, and it’s obvious the BBC had put some work into it — although “Spooks” fans will be pleased to hear that there are all the usual plot-holes and contrivances this year, too — but it would be so much better if the main man was capable of uttering a single line without bringing to mind Jack Nicholson at the end of One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest. He doesn’t even have any presence! Keanu Reeves can’t act, but you notice he’s there, at any rate! Also, Armitage used to be kind of good-looking, in a glowering-by-numbers way, in a sort of very obvious hunk kind of manner — but he isn’t aging well and looks very blank and taut in this last season. Has he over-plucked his eye-brows? It’s distracting.

This latest series of “Spooks” had been announced as the last, and then BBC executives denied it vehemently, and I’m happy-ish to announce that, at the end of Series 9, it looks all set to return next year. I just hope they can get rid of some of the clunky dialogue next time round. I wrote down what might be my all-time favourite line of exposition from this series, which came in episode 1 as the hero is about to board a ship in order to take down a rebel who has commandeered it. One of his bosses speaks to him on the phone: “I don’t need to warn you how dangerous he is. (Pause) He’s the African head of Al-Qaeda. (Pause) Be careful.” Wouldn’t they have discussed this in a couple of board meetings beforehand?

On the plus side, they should definitely bring back Nicola Walker next year. She’s really very, very good — a realistic actor, who naturally commands attention and sympathy. She’s been great throughout the show, but she was particularly excellent in the last episode. In a startling scene with charisma-vacuum Armitage, she was so convincing with her screaming — a close-up, harrowing enactment of terror — that I got goosebumps. What is she doing in “Spooks”? Actually, don’t bring her back — give her another show.

I’m a bit stuck because I really don’t want to give plot details away from this season, if any of you have missed it and want to see it still, but trust me that the tension gets pretty highly ratcheted. “Spooks” has big production values, lots of twists and turns, a very high silliness quotient and some decent-looking types; it just lacks a bit of pizzazz, I find. We’ll see if it returns, and with what intentions.

Caspar lives in London and bravely considers himself to be in his late twenties. He enjoys many things, the listing of which would make him sound like an unbearably pretentious douche.









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Comments

Richard Armitage has been number one on my "Hot Guys Who Can Actually Act" list for years, and although this season of Spooks has been underwhelming, Lucas North (*not his real name) getting the short straw of the recycled is-he-or-isn't-he-a-bad-guy plot yet again, I stand by my opinion. Guess we agree to disagree.

Posted by: Me at November 11, 2010 1:21 PM

First of all, I want to say, I love this column. Thank you for pandering to the anglophiles who haunt this site. Second of all, I want to say, the best thing about MI-5 is that it has helped the careers of Matthew MacFadyen, Keeley Hawes and Rupert Penry-Jones, thus ensuring that they will delight me in other projects. . .as they do. . .oh they do.

Posted by: coveredinbees at November 11, 2010 1:24 PM

I think Spooks lost me after series 5 - once Ros showed up as the main character (!!) ugh, I HATED her character. Harry should NEVER have brought her on.

I wasn't a huge fan of Adam either, although I loved his interactions with his wife, and for a short time after, **SPOILER** the devastation her death brought **END SPOILER**. I also thought the plot line of Ruth and Harry was frickin' adorable - that woman needs more work.

Anyways, Ros ruined Spooks for me - and Ros + Adam in bed together, well that clinched it. A fantastic spy drama had turned into a ridiculous soap opera.

Posted by: Stella at November 11, 2010 1:27 PM

Spooks lost me somewhere in season 3. I watched an episode where the agency is involved in the kidnapping of a baby and that was it for me. And even though Adam is not bad, the loss of Tom, Zoe and Danny was too much to bear.

Posted by: Scully at November 11, 2010 1:35 PM

I stopped enjoying Spooks after Ros joined, too Stella, although I do like Ros and love Hermione Norris. They'd sort of ratcheted up the stakes so high over the first five seasons, that there was nowhere left to ratchet them. I'm still meandering through the show, but I'm disappointed to hear that it might come back for another season because I'd looked forward to not watching it anymore. But you know -- 9 seasons. Made it this far, can't quit now. Damnit. It's sort of fun to look forward to the end of each season, though, to see how they'll kill off another main character. I'm a few eps back this season, but I do hope it's Armitage.

Posted by: Dustin Rowles at November 11, 2010 1:44 PM

Armitage makes such a delightful villain. Look at that beetling brow! Mark Strong should share some of the eleventy billion bad guy roles he keeps getting offered.

Posted by: coveredinbees at November 11, 2010 1:58 PM

I may have to fawn a little, but First Life was indeed excellent, even though you pretty much come to expect perfection from David Attenborough every time.

What I find most inspiring about him is that even though he is in his mid-eighties, his thirst for new knowledge is still not waning. His expertise easily towers over the majority of us, but he still seeks to learn more.

You have to love that...

Posted by: Simon at November 11, 2010 3:30 PM

Yay! You did Lip Service! I love you. It HAS gotten better, but I still catch myself giggling at the wrong bits. I can't BELIEVE you didn't mention the doggy-style-strap-on shag between Frankie and Sadie. That was hilarious! Oh and Hot Cop Sam is the reason I'm still watching. I'm in love. Every woman I know is in love with her. It's what it is. The cop is HOT.

I stopped watching Spooks after Keely Hawes left. Yes, I have a massive crush on her ever since seeing her in a tux in Tipping the Velvet.

Would this be a good place to request a London PajiBacon?

Posted by: Joker at November 11, 2010 5:20 PM

Richard Armitage can do no wrong. I have no idea if he can act or not: I'm too busy drooling whenever he's on my screen.

Posted by: PaddyDog at November 11, 2010 5:52 PM

Oh my!

How good was the new episode of Misfits tonight?

Posted by: Simon at November 11, 2010 6:55 PM

While Lucas North isn't as good as Tom Quinn, I like him much more than Adam Carter. The only time I really liked Adam was when he had PTS, where as Lucas's haunted past **spoiler alert** of torture and identify theft **end spoiler alert** I have found to be quite intriguing. Plus, I have liked Richard Armitage since I first saw him in Robin Hood. Shows tend to fade over time, but I find the revolving cast on Spooks helps keep me intrigued.

Posted by: Morgan LaFai at November 11, 2010 10:58 PM

Your comments about Richard Armitage being "one of the worst actors to (dis)grace the TV screen" and that he is a "charisma vacuum" are so off the mark, they are laughable. This would be a huge surprise to his huge and growing fan base of women who admire his prodigious acting talent and find his manly attractiveness and velvety voice entirely mesmerizing.
It's okay if you don't get it though, leave Richard to us women with taste! :)

Posted by: phylly3 at November 12, 2010 12:01 AM

phylly3: Don't forget his fanbase of men who admire his manly attractiveness etc etc! I'm just not one of them. Oh well. You'll get to gawp at him in The Hobbit, when that comes out.

Simon: I will tell you how good 'Misfits' was in next week's column! For goodness' sake don't try and form an opinion before then. :)

Joker: I didn't forget the strap-on scene, but I just didn't have enough space and time. Sorry. But yes, it was classic.

Posted by: Caspar at November 12, 2010 4:31 AM

WRONG!

I'm not usually that blunt, but what kind of half-baked moron mentions Spooks in the same breath as that torture glorifying, realism defying, pile of silly Jack Bauer nonsense? Except to say "Spooks pisses all over that shit"

Otherwise, well written. Try to stop being so wrong in the future.

Posted by: Ender at November 12, 2010 5:11 AM

Ok Caspar. Consider my opinion stifled until your next column. :)

But I just had blurt something out - I needed to share my joy with someone and nobody in my office watches it.

Philistines...

Posted by: Simon at November 12, 2010 7:31 AM

Richard Armitage photo! YES. You have rendered the rest of this post irrelevant.

Posted by: Elfrieda at November 12, 2010 9:45 AM

Did you mean to call Dickie Atty a 'small legend of the screen'? Is he short?! I never notice these things.

I am fully into Lip Service now, and you're right, it's slightly less embarrassing as it goes on. Although, I must say I was lolling at the 'muff shaving' scene between Frankie and the common one wiv the black 'air. Who shaves their muff without even looking?! It made me feel all funny and not in the way intended. Must remember to buy the next edition of Diva to see what the 'experts' think...

Posted by: Laura at November 12, 2010 12:57 PM

Richard Armitage a charisma-vacuum?
Er...no.

Posted by: Cuca at November 14, 2010 9:36 PM

I have not come across your blog site before but I must congratulate you on a most insightful review of the David Attenborough series "First Life". As an amateur palaeontologist, I was aware of this programme being made some time ago, your comments regarding this two-parter have whetted my appetite further.

Posted by: Dinosaur Mike at December 28, 2010 11:30 AM