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Zen and the Art of Here We Go Again

“Life” / The TV Whore
Sept. 26, 2007

TV Reviews | September 26, 2007 | Comments (23)


When I sit around late at night and think about what kind of new show I’d like on TV, I always come back to one thing — procedurals. “You know,” I think, “it just seems like there are no procedurals on the tube anymore. I mean, this fall, NBC only has one — one, I tell you — ‘Law and Order’ series airing. What the hell?” And as if it read my mind, NBC now brings us “Life,” yet another procedural.

A quick aside. Because I’m so tuned into the world of television (for better or worse), I tend to assume that everyone knows what I mean when I throw around TV lingo like calling something a “procedural.” But I was recently talking to someone about “Life,” and when I said that it was yet … another … procedural, the response was, “What’s a procedural?” So, if you’re asking yourself the same thing, here’s the simple answer: it’s all the “Law & Orders” and “CSIs.” Shows that focus on cops and detectives and investigators and the procedure of their case-making process. Procedurals make up one third of the trilogy of fallbacks the networks invariably turn to each year (the other two members being, of course, doctor and lawyer shows). Now the networks try to distinguish each procedural from the next, which is why we see a show like “K-Ville” being set in post-Katrina New Orleans, or why last year’s “Raines” featured a detective who talked to hallucinations of the murder victims.

“Life’s” take on the whole procedural thing is to focus on a detective, Charlie Crews (played by Damian Lewis), who had been slapped with a life sentence only to be released from Pelican Bay 12 years later after the case was reopened and folks discovered that — whoops! — none of the physical evidence actually matched Crews. As a result of this little “ooops, our bad,” Crews is well known from all the press coverage (folks deridingly refer to him as the “celebrity detective”), and he’s now rather wealthy thanks to a plush financial settlement from the city. Oh, and he’s quirky. He eats lots of fruit, and his time in jail has given him a very leveled Zen take on life, which leads to him frequently blurting out wise these, thats and the others. If this sounds a little precious, well, it is. But Lewis (who has lifetime cred with me after his amazing portrayal of Major Dick Winters in “Band of Brothers”) is talented enough to mostly pull it off. His character won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but Winters does enough with the role that the character of Detective Charlie Crews isn’t the reason I will not be coming back for the second episode.

Instead, the reason “Life” will have a rather short one for this viewer is because the rest of the show is relatively rote and mundane — been there too many times and done that more than is healthy. I’m writing this portion of the review without the notes I took while watching the episode, as they’re about 2,600 miles away at the moment, and although I watched that episode less than a week ago, I absolutely cannot tell you one single thing about the central murder mystery — I don’t remember who the victim was or how things turned out, although I do recall being relatively unimpressed with the wrap-up. And if this show has a quick downfall, this seems the most likely reason why; because a procedural must have, above and beyond just about everything else, interesting detecting/investigating storylines.

Now, to be fair, there is a little more to the show than just the crime-of-the-week. First, there are a host of uninteresting side characters. Robin Weigart (oh Calamity Jane, how I miss you!) plays Detective Crews’ police lieutenant, and she’s just looking for a reason to get rid of Crews, roping in his partner (played relatively serviceably by Sarah Shahi) as an accomplice in these efforts. And Adam Arkin plays Crews’ financial advisor — the two met in prison, as Arkin’s character was a CEO sent to the clink because of insider trading — who also happens to now live in Crews’ garage. And there’s a former partner, and an ex-wife and a lawyer and blahbitty-blah.

Second, there is spectacularly bad dialogue. Crews’ lawyer, for example, has this wonderful gem: “Life was his sentence, and life is what he got back.” Or there’s this clichéd line from his partner: “If you get jammed up for this, I get jammed up for this.” Or the following conversation, intended to show that Crews’ time in the clink has given him some deep insight into the criminal mind:

Criminal: Yeah, I got enemies, but none that would touch my son.
Crews’ Partner: Why is that?
Crews: ‘Cause everyone’s got family.
Criminal: That’s right. Everyone.

Third, there are the tiring gimmicks. I already mentioned the fact that everyone he meets pulls some form of the “aren’t you that cop” business. And it’s already old by the end of the first episode. Ditto that for the fact that much of modern life, like cell phones and instant messaging, are foreign forms of “science fiction” for Crews, who suddenly finds himself living in the future. And the show may also make a running gag of Crews harassing his ex-wife’s new man (he pulls the guy over in the first episode for a ticky-tacky driving violation), and that, too, will get old right quick. There are also “documentary style” segments of the show, when we get insight from all those side characters, and while that actually worked fine in the pilot, it just feels like another thing that will tire over the course of a season.

And yet, even with all these complaints, it’s actually not a horrible show. It’s just not anything special. If you’re looking for yet another procedural, I suppose you could do worse. As for me, I know I won’t keep watching because I barely made it through this first episode — while watching it, I found myself repeatedly putting it on pause to take care of other things. In fact, you might say that I was allowing real life to interfere with my watching of “Life.” …See what I did there? That’s what this show has done to me.

“Life” premieres on NBC tonight at 10 p.m.


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Seth Freilich is Pajiba’s television editor. His favorite part of the show might’ve been the fact that a girl was listed in the credits as “Very Pretty Girl.”


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Comments

That's just too bad because I really think that Damian Lewis is deliciously talented.

Posted by: Agent Scully at September 26, 2007 1:58 PM

Oh, I have such a crush on him. He is such a terrific actor & that red hair! Still, I think I'll give this one a miss.

Posted by: AllGussiedUp at September 26, 2007 2:02 PM

"If you get jammed up for this, I get jammed up for this."

a running gag of Crews harassing his ex-wife's new man

*sigh*

I can barely work up the energy to complain about ripping off NYPD Blue and showing the "tortured" nature of the character in how he abuses police authority . . . .

And yet, as you say, it's Dick Fucking Winters. Can we just have a reality show where the camera crew follows Damian Lewis around while he shops, gets the car washed, picks up his kids, etc. etc.?

Bwuh. Well, it's tivo'ed, and it will be viewed, as the Lord intended.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at September 26, 2007 2:05 PM

I honestly wonder if television executives ever look at an outrageously beautiful woman like Sarah Shahi and say to themselves, "You know, I just don't see her as a cop."

Probably not.

Posted by: Todd at September 26, 2007 3:41 PM

I'm still going to give this a shot, if only for Damian Lewis. I really hope it's better than the review lets on.

Posted by: chad at September 26, 2007 4:03 PM

NBC is now 0 for 2 with procedurals featuring "Band of Brothers" alumni, having already ruined then canceled the excellent "Boomtown" (with Neal McDonough and Donnie Wahlberg), and now wasting Lewis on this nonsense. What a waste.

Posted by: KRK at September 26, 2007 4:33 PM

Yeah, even D. Lewis can't make me watch this. It sounds sucky. Why does the cop have to be tortured? Can't he just be a good cop? Or is that too boring? And when is the government going to do something about the British taking all our acting jobs? Damn wetbacks.

Is it just me or does "K-Ville" suck hard? I tried to watch it, but it was like seeing any other copy show pasted over the ruined city of New Orleans. Every now and then, there'd be some sappy thing where the characters would make reference to Katrina for no other reason than so everyone could make their sad face. And I wanted to like it, I like Anthony Anderson, but it just kinda blew. Same thing with "Saving Grace." I turned off the first episode after about 10 minutes, shortly after a character referenced an F5 tornado in a folksy metaphor. I like Holly Hunter, but not enough to watch her show. Now I'M making my sad face.

Posted by: LL at September 26, 2007 4:38 PM

LL
You are totally right. What I loved was the yelling of "go go go" and "get out of the way" while the two cops drove down the street. But of course the budget was too low for them to actually move the car, instead there were quick cuts between the two sweaty faces of the actors while they "acted" tense. It was terrible, I turned after fifteen minutes.

It is New Orleans people! I am so bored with shows set in LA or NYC or Vancouver pretending to be NYC. New Orleans is fascinating enough to be a character in the show and there is plenty of crap happening in New Orleans every day to create plots for a whole slew of procedurals. I would even watch David Caruso abuse sunglasses if it was set in New Orleans, but Kville was unwatchable. I don't even remotely care who killed the Jazz singer. I bet it was George Bush since he doesn't like black people.

Posted by: Jennifer at September 26, 2007 5:43 PM

The ads were a dead giveaway that this was going to be an unfortunate waste of talent. And megadittos to KRK about Boomtown. That was a great show.

Posted by: summerteeth at September 26, 2007 6:05 PM

K, so it's not just me (on K-Ville, anyway). And I meant "cop" shows, of course, not "copy shows," though I'm waiting for the one set in a FedExKinkos to be announced any day now. If they can make one about fucking Geico cavemen, can copy guys be far behind?

The thing is, any one of these shows could be saved by decent writing. Not even great writing (not that I'd object to that), but decent writing. Cop show set in New Orleans? Awesome. All kinds of shit to do there, pre and post Katrina. Cop show set in OKC? Ok, different enough to be intriguing, kinda. Cop show with Damien Lewis in main role? Cool. But they ruin these perfectly decent concepts with shitty writing. Damn, if getting writing jobs in TV is this damn easy for people who can't do it, maybe I should send some shit in. I know I can do better. I could rewrite K-Ville with crap copied and pasted from the Times Picayune website that would be better than what I saw. You know the actors have gotta be saying (privately, to a trusted friend) how much the writing sucks, but hey, it's a paying job, I don't blame them. And before anyone points it out, I know production companies and producers and directors and whatnot have a lot of input on the writing as well, so I know it's not just the writers. Just sayin'. When I think of the first season of Homicide, that's how good a cop show can be. Or The Wire. Or Hill Street Blues. Is it really that damn hard?

Posted by: LL at September 26, 2007 7:01 PM

That's a real pity because Damian Lewis is SO OSSOM and I LOVE HIM.

*swoons*

But not even Dick Winters could convince me to watch a show that Seth says "meh" to.

Posted by: Jelinas at September 26, 2007 7:44 PM

Watched some of the show whilst running, sound muted by my pod. Seemed interesting, at least Damian did.

But what is up with Band of Brothers alum popping up on the same projects. There was Boomtown, and now I swear the tattooed con they visit in prison was played by the actor who was Sgt. Bull in BoB.

Am I right here? Did anyone else notice him? IMDB is not helping me out on this.

Posted by: Alabamapink at September 26, 2007 11:22 PM

Journey Man...meh.
Life...meh.
Back to You...meh.
'Til Death...hmmm....best as Robert, not in a lead role.

Heroes...I dunno, that was one craptacular episode for kicking off the new season. I smell X-2/X-3 changeover here(that means CRAP). Boring, stupid. It's like The Matrix...we did so well with the first one! Let's sweep up the cutting room floor and a little glue and some scotch tape here and we have enough (bad)material for another couple movies/seasons, on the cheap! Lame.

Chuck, caught the last half, better than the others, but not by much.

Bionic Women...Starbuck was cool but the rest seemed...either crap or first episode of new series slowly getting started.

When do we get a new Star Trek TV series?!?

Posted by: WhoWhatWhere at September 27, 2007 12:35 AM

Seth, when you're right, you're right.

I'm clinging to the hope that Life can only get better. Since in one episode, it covered:

Every
Single
Cop Show
Cliche
Ever.

You want a Wall of Crazy? Check. A rockin', yet sad ballad? Got it. In case you didn't know Crews is sad, yet rockin'.

Posted by: Janis at September 27, 2007 3:22 AM

I thought the scene with Shahi in the shower was extremely well done.

I think D.L. just needs time to settle into the character. I'm not used to seeing Dick Winters smile so much.

Posted by: cath at September 27, 2007 3:39 AM

This was possibly the most boring show I've watched so far this season. This show has no 'Life', its DOA !!! ( see what i did there ?! )

Posted by: Alexander Kaye at September 27, 2007 5:14 AM

Jelinas - that was indeed Sgt. Bull (Michael Cudlitz). I was thinking the same thing when i saw him. I will continue to watch Life for a couple more episodes to see if Guarnere or Malarkey make appearances.

Posted by: Mr. Seadog at September 27, 2007 11:35 AM

For a Damian Lewis fix, check out "The Forsyte Saga"

Posted by: Mary at September 27, 2007 11:39 AM

ugh, i can't believe you thought you had to explain procedurals. anyone who's a reader here should have both the vocabulary and media knowledge to already know the meaning, and anyone who didn't is out of his league and should GTFO. seriously, this is one of the very few internet refuges for smart people, give us some credit and don't dumb down.

Posted by: amere at September 27, 2007 12:42 PM

"I'm waiting for the one set in a FedExKinkos to be announced any day now. If they can make one about fucking Geico cavemen, can copy guys be far behind?"

There was a great sub-plot in the show 'Undeclared' involving copy guys. It was hilarious. Everything I love gets canceled.

Posted by: stacy at September 27, 2007 6:14 PM

I love Damian Lewis so much I will watch anything he's in. I will stick with "Life" as long as NBC does, but I'm afraid that won't be very long. Lewis is great but the whole show feels out of whack. However, the scene in the shower was very good. Did you see that he gave her his shirt? I'm such a sucker for chivalry.

I agree with cath that seeing Lewis smile is disarming. I prefer when he gets that super serious look. Something hot about that man when he stares.

Posted by: Bright Phoenix at September 27, 2007 10:00 PM

amere...I appreciated the explanation of the procedural. I had an inkling before I read the definition as it seemed pretty self explanatory. Still...
Intelligence and knowledge is by learning, not magic. Dumbing down is necessary. I know some people who are very intelligent with most things, but other very easy(to me, and, no I'm not bragging; I'm about as sharp as one of them circle things)things entirely escape them. Get over yourself amere. No one is super duper all knowing. ...and anyone who is close had to start somewhere. I'm going to STFRH, thanks!

Posted by: WhoWhatWhere at September 28, 2007 6:21 PM

Ah, procedurals, my guilty little pleasure. I'll watch pretty much anything with that kind of plot, not sure why, but there you have it.

Posted by: Alarmjaguar at September 29, 2007 5:32 PM