Last Night's Monumental "New Girl" Summarized in GIF Form
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Last Night's Monumental "New Girl" Summarized in GIF Form

By Dustin Rowles | TV Reviews | May 1, 2013 | Comments ()


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Last night's episode was all about how the gang lost their virginity.

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When it opened, it looked like Nick and Jess were over.

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But then everyone started telling their virginity stories. We found out, for instance, that Mick Jagger stamped Cece's V-Card, which elicited an excited, but confused reaction from Schmidt.

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Fat Schmidt's virginity losing experience involved lubricant. A LOT OF IT.

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But it was for a good cause.

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Nick was impressed.

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Jess had a long convuluted story about losing her virginity, which began at prom, and ended up with her with the guy from MTV's Teen Wolf stuck in a kid castle, where the guy confessed that he realized it wasn't the anti-depressants that were softening his shrinky, it was his gayness.

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Anyway, Winston lost his virginity to a prostitute procured by Nick's father, which reminded Nick of some advice his old man gave him: "Don't think about it."

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Nick didn't think about it.

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What's that, Schmidt?

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Yeah it is. This is what's going on in Nick's brain.

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This is what's going on in Jess' head.

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And this is what's going on inside of Schmidt's brain.

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Pajiba Love Express
Here's some Daveed Diggs for you. On Daveed Diggs' digs, actually. That man does things with clothes that should not make sense, but are absolutely perfect. (Go Fug Yourself)

Woody Allen has "so moved on" from his daughter's accusations and says he never even thinks about it. He equates her words about him to a bad review he won't read and comments on how wacky it is that Mia Farrow is his mother-in-law. He is the worst. (Celebitchy)

Not The Worst but still very gross: Leonardo DiCaprio and his Pussy Posse Wolf Pack were on the douche prowl in NYC. (Lainey)

Here are 5 under-the-radar shows. I had never even heard of the first two. (Uproxx)

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