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October 1, 2008 |

By Seth Freilich | TV | October 1, 2008 |

Holy motherfucking shit. I watched last spring’s two-hour backdoor pilot of “Knight Rider” knowing it would be bad. And indeed it was. Nevertheless, last week, I found myself watching the fall premiere of the show. Again, I knew it would suck. But I thought it might not be so heinous that it couldn’t be background noise while at work. Boy was I wrong. At nine minutes in, I had to shut my SlingPlayer software down (SlingBox is a miracle for those of us who like to watch TV in the office) because I think my computer was getting stupider just for having “Knight Rider” stream through it. I mean, in those nine minutes, Kitt (voiced by the sounds-like-he’s-heavily-dosed-with-Valium Kilmer) fucking transformed twice. Transformed. Like a shitty Michael Bay transformer. Into an attack mode car and into a truck. And we got a bad “CSI”-style glimpse into Kitt’s inner workings in order to see how he/it achieves Turbo Jump. And there was the bad acting. And the bad dialogue. And the bad effects. And bad action. And oh dear god the bad acting.

What I’m saying is, it’s not good, people. Do not watch it, I implore you. Beside, while it won’t be the first show canceled — because “Do Not Disturb” was put down almost a week ago — it ain’t long for this world, make no mistake about it.

Yes this review is short. Yes it may not be fair to review a show having only watched 1/5 of the first episode. But that’s all “Knight Rider” deserves.

Seth Freilich is Pajiba’s television editor. Besides, you should be watching the Phillies tonight!

This Show is a Fucking Piece of Shit, Michael

"Knight Rider" / The TV Whore
Oct. 1, 2008

TV | October 1, 2008 |

Seth is a Senior Editor and sometime critic. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.

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