Community (B+. The send-up of clip shows was not hilarious, but it was brilliantly executed and, at times, super sweet.)
(Ravishing “Glee” in 30 seconds) “Sing sing sing-a-ling ding-dong.”
Feast your ear-tongues on these memory pops.”
“Harrison Ford is irradiating our testicles with microwave satellite transmissions.”
The Office (A-; The return of the Dundies was occasionally funny, very cheesy, but fuck it: Kind of great.”)
“Why is it the people who say something is ‘like crack’ have never done crack?”
“Yes! I love banter. But I hate ‘witty’ banter.”
“The diabetes award goes to Stanley Hudson! Come on up here, you sick bastard!”
“I was hoping it would be more like Godfather III, that wrapped up the whole franchise in an extremely satisfying way. Instead it’s more like Godfather I, which was very confusing and had, like, three big laughs.”
“Yeah. OK. Well, this is going to hurt like a motherf*cker.”
Parks and Recreation (Grade: A-. B+ for the dating subplot. A for the cooking challenge.”)
Would you like to talk outside my van?”
“Zerts are what I call desserts. Tray-trays are entrees. I call sandwiches sammies, sandoozles, or Adam Sandlers. Air conditioners are cool-blasterz, with a z. I don’t know where that came from. I call cakes big ol’ cookies. I call noodles long-ass rice. Fried chicken is fri-fri chicky-chick. Chicken parm is chicky chicky parm parm. Chicken cacciatore? Chicky catch. I call eggs pre-birds, or future birds. Root beer is super water. Tortillas are bean blankies. And I call forks … Food rakes.”
“I love Food ‘n Stuff. It’s where I buy all of my food … and most of my stuff.”
“This tastes as good as Beyonce smells.”
30 Rock (B. A great 22 minute episode stuck inside a 42 minute one. But congrats to “30 Rock” for 100 episodes).
“It’s not rape if neither party really wants it.”
“The only thing I want latched to my fun bags are celebrity DJs.”
“Hey look, Tracy Jordan is ironically reappropriating his bad past behavior as a commentary on Fitzgerald’s dictum that there are no second acts in American life.”
“Be like Michael McDonald and take it to the streets.”
“All pregnancies are hysterical. They’re started by penises.”
“That’s crazy. A man named Elia?! That’s a giraffe’s name.”
“Tonight, TGS will not be the worst thing on television. It’ll be John Stossel!”
(Jack, channelling Alec Baldwin) “Do TV and no one will ever take you seriously again. It doesn’t matter how big a movie star you are, even if you had the kind of career where you walked away from a blockbuster franchise or worked with Meryl Streep or Anthony Hopkins, made important movies about things like civil rights or Pearl Harbor, stole films with supporting roles and then turned around and blew them away on Broadway. None of that will matter once you do television. You can win every award in sight. You can be the biggest thing on the small screen, and you’ll still get laughed out of the Vanity Fair Oscar party by Greg Kinnear. Tracy, your career hit rock bottom the first time you decided to do ‘TGS.’ You want it to hit rock bottom again, go on network television.”
Hanks!
“Endangering the lives of hundreds of people for a show that TV Guide once called, ‘Still on.’”
Archer (B. Good, but not really season finale good).
“Oh, wait. Please tell me you’re into Rush.”
“This deuce ain’t gonna drop itself.”
“It’s OK. It was just cancer sex.”
“I quit drinking for her … just that one. Scared if I stop all at once the cumulative hangover will literally kill me.”
“What part of ‘I’m a cyborg’ are you people still not understanding.”
Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance
Sewage Guy: You can do any number of things to me for any number of seconds.
GOLD!
Posted by: Mrs. Julien at April 22, 2011 2:52 PM
The hipsters commenting on Tracy Jordan:
"Let me take a photograph of him on my old-fashioned camera"
Posted by: PaddyDog at April 22, 2011 2:55 PM
His favorite movie is books.
Posted by: Petrie at April 22, 2011 2:58 PM
Plus the awesome slam of Black Swan during The Office: I'd look for content, but there isn't any.
Posted by: Mrs. Julien at April 22, 2011 3:00 PM
The Office was pathetic. they need a mercy kill. That song was embarrassing and pandering.
Posted by: maka at April 22, 2011 3:09 PM
Consider me pandered to. I LOVED The Office last night.
Posted by: Mrs. Julien at April 22, 2011 3:11 PM
Toilet Party!
Posted by: Julie at April 22, 2011 3:12 PM
Also, I LOVED "It's a hamburger, made out of meat, with nothing."
Posted by: Julie at April 22, 2011 3:17 PM
Anyone else catch Baldwin's "Capital One" commercial? Evidently he's cornered the creditor into underwriting all of the organizations in residency at Lincoln Center (Lincoln Center Theater, The Metropolitan Opera, New York City Opera, The Library for the Performing Arts, New York City Ballet, The Juilliard School.)
He also donated the entirety of his Salary from the commercial to Roundabout Theater Company, the largest not-for-profit Broadway producing entity in NYC.
Point is- Alec Baldin is among the most exemplary of New Yorkers, an incredible steward of the artistic community, and showing himself to be a leader of men, putting his money and his time where his mouth is.
Also: He does voiceover work- free of charge- in narrating a number of the NY Philharmonic's series. The dude is everywhere.
Posted by: Martin at April 22, 2011 3:20 PM
"This van is rolling probable cause"
Is it wrong I kind of want that van?
Posted by: Mrcreosote at April 22, 2011 3:23 PM
It's like the Golden Globes but less mean. (or some thing close to that)
Posted by: anikitty at April 22, 2011 4:04 PM
"i swear on this dead crow i will never cook for you"
Posted by: the chaplain at April 22, 2011 4:12 PM
Tom is that guy that in real life, you'd never want to be around him (unless you were really drunk), but on TV, he's fucking hilarious.
Posted by: Slash at April 22, 2011 4:19 PM
-- I cackled at Donald Glover/Troy's delivery of "It's like a reverse cow birth!!"
-- Did anyone notice the reporter's name after Tracy Jordan rescues the biker? Her name was Jordan Baker.
-- Tom Hanks! Yes!
Posted by: KP at April 22, 2011 4:23 PM
I enjoyed The Office....the song was cute, and I will give anything to hear Ed Helms sing. Also, Erin breaking up with Gabe on stage was AWESOME.
I laughed my ass of during Parks and Rec and I know I am in the minority, but I like Leslie and Ben together.
Community was fun. I liked it.
Watching 30 right now though.
Posted by: Nimue at April 22, 2011 5:02 PM
@ Nimue
Wait, Ben and Leslie shippers are in the minority?? They're like the ONLY 'will they/won't they' couple on TV that actually makes any damn sense.
Posted by: Cree83 at April 22, 2011 5:17 PM
Just based on the anecdotal comments I have read around here and on Salon. That's all the evidence I have.
Posted by: Nimue at April 22, 2011 5:25 PM
Wow... Parks and Rec gets the same grade as the Office? Parks and Rec was miles above all the other shows last night. The Office was embarassingly bad and Community just seemed lazy. 30 Rock was ok, but not one their better episodes. The four Alec Baldwins were pretty cool though.
Posted by: camytaru at April 22, 2011 5:34 PM
I thought the Office was pretty bad too. I pretty much spend that half hour doing my crossword puzzle. And I thought Community was fantastic. Hysterical and sweet, and wonderfully satirical. But Parks won the night.
Posted by: Julie at April 22, 2011 5:36 PM
You are so wrong. The Community's unseen memories plot was absolutely hilarious.
Posted by: Coco Bravo at April 22, 2011 5:38 PM
You son of a bitch. You'll open this up for Archer but not The League?
ROOOOOOWLES! ROOOOOOWLES! ROOOOOOOOOWLES!
Posted by: KAAAAAAHHHHHHN! at April 22, 2011 5:42 PM
Kahn, (My throat's a bit sore. I'm not yelling it.) I love The League as much as the next guy but Archer is better.
Posted by: Paultera at April 22, 2011 5:53 PM
The highlight of the night was Danny on 30 Rock complaining that he couldn't see the flashbacks from the seasons before he arrived, then flashing back to Josh's highlights and claiming them as his own, replacing Josh in the show's history. There can be only one!
Posted by: The Mutt at April 22, 2011 6:03 PM
Plus, isn't The League not on for another month or two? I've only seen the first season, but LOVE IT. Taco in the Mr. Gibblets costume was so funny my boyfriend made me rewind it 5 or 87 times.
Posted by: Julie at April 22, 2011 6:08 PM
Always the padewan. Never the Jedi.
Posted by: Nat at April 22, 2011 6:22 PM
I loved every second of Parks and Rec last night. And yes, there are those that don't like them together, but Ben asking to meet Leslie at her favorite mural made my heart go pitter patter.
Posted by: beckster at April 22, 2011 6:41 PM
"that's it? just meat and crows?"
i'd sell my invalid mother to you just to live somewhere in the nethernothing of that line.
Posted by: beet salad at April 22, 2011 6:42 PM
"One for three off the roof, bitch! Whoo!"
Posted by: Little Boy Blue at April 22, 2011 9:22 PM
Dustin, I think your grades of The Office and 30 Rock are colored by nostalgia for what the shows used to be. Parks and Rec was far and away the best show last night, with Community in second.
Why can't the Wild West episode of Community happen? IT NEEDS TO HAPPEN!
Posted by: Three-nineteen at April 22, 2011 10:33 PM
I might be confusing it with something else, but did they make a reference to The Woman on 30 Rock?
Posted by: Uda at April 22, 2011 10:34 PM
Oh, Parks and Rec. That was amazing. One of my favorite bits was how CHRIS (Chris! Who LITrally loves everything!) was getting a bit weary of Andy. It was genius.
Posted by: Anna von Beav at April 23, 2011 1:27 PM
@camytaru I totally get that humor is subjective and not everyone enjoys the same things, but there is no way you can objectively call the Community episode lazy. I was tired just from the IDEA of all of the work that went into creating the elaborate setups/costumes/props for all of the unseen episodes, even for scenes that only lasted a few seconds. So, yeah, call it unfunny (though I disagree completely) but you can't call it lazy. Not on my watch.
Posted by: Nicole at April 23, 2011 1:50 PM
KP, I just finished The Great Gatsby with my students, so Fitzgerald is on my brain. Thanks for catching the Jordan Baker reference!
Posted by: SarahCat at April 23, 2011 3:24 PM
Favorite line on 30 Rock - "Jesus was black!"
Posted by: Forward Observer at April 23, 2011 4:35 PM
I thought 30 Rock was awful. It's a rare thing indeed when I think 30 Rock is the worst of the Thursday night shows. Community was clunky, but I still laughed. The Office was good, but not as good as the first Dundies. I got a little misty during the song, I admit.
Parks and Recreation was just hilarious. I loved the cook-off, Ron "observing" the health food store, Tom teasing Leslie about their date, and Ben's stammering response to Leslie asking him out. "You're great, and you have great ideas...uh bye." My favorite line? "The girl likes Indian food, what can I say?"
Posted by: Turtle at April 23, 2011 5:26 PM
Community was more clever than funny.
The Office was sentimental and pandering. I LOVED IT! I don't care what anyone says, its hilarious. Though I'm not sure I'm digging Will Ferrel's character.
Parks & Rec = Amazing because Ron Swanson = Love + Man + Awesome.
"Would you like to try 100% vegan bacon. There is absolutely no meat."
"Yes." (Throws bacon in the trash) "May I have another one?"
(Confusingly hands Ron vegan bacon)
(Throws bacon in the trash).
Ok I see why you didn't type that one out but it was comedy gold.
"Abed, why must you always be so meta? Why do you have to take everything we do and shove it up its own ass?
Posted by: Paultera at April 23, 2011 10:04 PM
The best part of The Office was Meredith's, "you caught me, walk of shame" and then wanting to make them breakfast and Deangelo mouthing, "I'm not going in there." I do like bitchy Pam much more than mousy Pam. And the name Deangelo is just too ridiculous.
As for Parks and Rec, sigh, it's just gotten so good. I love Leslie. She's so ernest and good. I loved watching her stare at Tom trying to figure out why they'd be matched while he's being annoying and singing Forever Young.
As for 30 Rock, how could no one mention the return of Dennis??? He's awesome. I found myself watching that episode hoping to see the Springsteen-Jeter kissing sketch. 30 Rock is going to have to step it up. Hopefully with Tracy Jordan back, it'll get better.
Posted by: Persistent Cat at April 23, 2011 11:37 PM
Mrs. Julien --- what do you mean by Black Swan slam?
Posted by: ererer at April 24, 2011 1:56 AM
The Office:
The audience will miss Michael Scott.
The writers will miss Michael Scott.
The actors will miss Michael Scott.
i get that.
i'll miss him too. (tear)
But those characters would not miss Michael Scott.
This season has been awful. They've butchered fantastic character relationships in favor of giving Steve Carell a loving send-off.
Beyond pandering. It's simply terrible.
Swear to god, if the finale has a montage set to Green Day's "Time of Your Life", someone is getting shot.
Posted by: Scott at April 24, 2011 1:59 AM
I can admire the writing and the character development, but aside from Schrute's over the top character (not that I haven't met a Schrute or two before), I can't get into that pained, awkward humor. It makes me feel pained and awkward and I can't see the humor. Same reason I find Borat funny only when he's talking and that's just making fun of a dumb accent and culture. Or racism.
The worst joke in the world is lying straight to someone's face, "Ah! Yer bruthah got hit by a train!" "REALLY?!!" "Nah, just kidding HAha." Just to laugh at the look on their face.
Although I didn't think Community was all that funny, but I still thought it awesome to do a clip show of clips we hadn't seen before.
Posted by: kayla at April 24, 2011 5:24 PM
I like that Community gets defended even when I miss this thread. I was starting to think I had a complex. That said, I loved this week's episode, but it was definitely more clever than funny. Though, Annie's reaction to Britta haphazardly tossing her lip balm was hilarious, and the fact that they placed the Glee riff during Pierce's handicap'd/wheelchair period made that joke so much more streets ahead than it otherwise would have been.
Parks and Rec was brilliant. And I loved the The Office song, but it totally doesn't make sense in that show's reality up until this season. Michael Scott has made up a lot of ground with people, but not enough to where they'd all burst into song. I kind of wish that had been a post-credits sequence so it could be considered (nerd alert) non-canonical.
Leslie: Can I talk to you for a second?
Sewage Guy: You can do any number of things to me for any number of seconds.
GOLD!