How I Met Your Mother "Rallies" and We Ask for Your Go-To Hangover Cure
In “Rally,” last night’s latest episode of How I Met Your Mother and the first of the seven remaining all-new episodes in a row before we say goodbye and I cry until my eyeballs fall out, we saw something we’ve waited a year to see.
No, not the adorable school-aged versions of Ted and the Mother’s kids—Weekend at Barney’s! *island percussion solo!*
Yes, after all this time, almost exactly one year, Barney’s dreams—dreams a thousand times better than his wedding ever could be—came true. Except they didn’t really.
After the previous two episodes’ debauched night spent drinking himself into “truth serum” mode and then teaching two youths (BriTANicK!) how to live, Barney is completely passed out. Even Robin, who finally made it back to earth, using tried-and-true paternal methods, can’t get him up. But if there’s one thing that can get Barney Stinson up, it’s this.
But his time awake is brief, and with pictures looming, the clan must attempt to find the recipe to Barney’s famous hangover cure: The Stinson Hangover Fixer Elixir (it involves Funyuns and ginger). As the known ingredients include grease, Ted tries bacon for the first time after a lifetime thinking he’s allergic to it (just like Halloween candy and not saying “thank you”). There’s trepidation.
Seeing Barney this hungover makes everyone vow to never again get that drunk. The best part of the episode, and there’s a lot of great in there, involves flash-forwards to the times they obviously break these vows. My favorite being Barney and Robin’s 2016 stay in Argentina.
The hearts of a thousand Barney-Robin-baby shippers were broken last night.
But the secret ingredient to the elixir is never found because, alas, it was a lie. Barney made it up to help his friends at their worst moments so they might rally. Thus, they lie to him, making up a successful “Weekend at Barney’s” playbook play, when, in reality, they canceled their wedding pictures and Barney got kicked in the balls.
But we’ll always have the (fabricated) memories.
This was a super fun episode, consistent for a super-fun season. And the next time I’ll be as drunk as Barney will probably be the series finale. Because it will hurt.
OK, go-to hangover cures. For me, it’s all about McDonald’s. Sausage biscuit, hashbrown and a large Coke. The sugar and carbonation are integral to your healing so don’t skimp with diet like you’re suddenly watching your figure after those six gin-and-gingers. More importantly, avoid hangovers in the first place by only drinking expensive wine, and by expensive I mean more than $11 a bottle. I’m all about the finer things in life.
Also, if you’re like me, you get drunk hiccups. The only cure? Say “Alec Baldwin.” This tried and true method dates back to medieval times (2006) and must be said out loud, for he must be summoned for his powers to take hold. He is a deeply flawed mess of a person, but dammit if he hasn’t cured all my hiccups and those of people around me eight years running.
Share yours in the comments. You bunch of lushes.