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Eva Green's Feral, Possessed Sex Scene Was This Week's Only 'Penny Dreadful' Highlight (NSFW)

By Dustin Rowles | TV Reviews | June 18, 2014 | Comments ()


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Another week, another excruciatingly dull episode of Penny Dreadful, a show with so many monsters, and so little plot development. This week, Caliban kills Abraham Van Helsing because he’s run out of patience with Dr. Frankenstein (haven’t we all!), who has yet to fashion Caliban a Frankenlover (though, Caliban has his eye on Maud Gunneson).

Meanwhile, Sir Malcolm Murray’s search for his daughter Mina Harker, who is trapped in the netherworld, continues to spin its wheels. Murray, his African companion Sembene and Josh Hartnett’s Ethan Chandler had an encounter with her, and there was a lot of chaos, but in the end, Harker slipped back into the nethers, and all Chambers could offer was, “Well, you know, win some/lose some. I’m sure we’ll snatch her out of purgatory the next time! BRB, going to have sex with my love who is dying from consumption again!”

Vanessa’s (Eva Green) storyline Dorian Grey wasn’t much more interesting, as they went out on a dinner date and said a lot of plodding, insubstantial things, like “There are things within us that can never be unleashed. They would consume us!

However, as it did last week, the freaky Eva Green sex scene provided the only real spark in the episode, and her and Dorian Grey went at it like snarling, feral warthogs rooting at each other’s bodies like insects trying to fuck their way beneath the skin.

Here’s where I kept waiting for Eva Green to cry, “GIDDYUP.”

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Here, Vanessa decided to crack out the letter opener and open up Dorian’s pectoral muscle to see what it tasted like.

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But honestly, the best part: Vanessa’s crazy O-Face.

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And I know that some people, after great sex, just want to relax and smoke a cigarette. Not Vanessa, though. SHE LEVITATES. LIKE A BOSS.

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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • Quatermain

    "...went at it like snarling, feral warthogs rooting at each other’s bodies like insects trying to fuck their way beneath the skin." That is a great metaphor. I'm not being sarcastic either, that is easily the best part of the entire article.

  • e jerry powell

    Are these not the same kinds of criticisms leveled at Daniel Knauf during season 1 of Carnivàle?

    I'm letting the people tell the stories without demanding a lot from them. Up against the rushed story arcs that Shonda Rhimes keeps burning through, the pacing of this particular set of stories is actually a bit of a relief.

    Which is to say, IT COULD BE A LOT WORSE. True Detective was fairly meandering as well, it was also eight episodes, and it started up a lot more than it finished, with the difference being three timelines unraveling at different paces through the series, where Penny Dreadful actually stops examining several things to semi-explain other things.

    Call me criminally patient, particularly since the re-up is for ten episodes. Hell, I survived The Borgias, rife as it was with historical inaccuracies and throwing all the timelines out the window to make shit that happened include people that couldn't possibly have been involved, etc., etc.

  • Lee

    I'm with ya Dustin. Plus those vamps on the boat with the long white hair; that whole scene on the ship - horrible with zero tension. What point is there in building up the vamps as creatures that are so formidable, that you need to stake and cut off their head, when they can be easily picked off with guns and a well aimed kick.

    So disappointed in this.

  • Jiffylush

    I've got to start watching this show, or at least this episode...

  • manting

    This show is essentially a rip off of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Same characters essentially anyway. I really liked the first few episodes but it has become plodding and the dialogue is sometimes plain ridiculous.

  • _Alexander_

    I am actually convinced that this is normal if not tame sex by Eva Green standards. There is just something about her eyes(and killer body) that whispers she will fuck you up nine ways till sunday and you will love it

  • e jerry powell

    So if we were to actually have a sport orgy of Penny Dreadful characters, Vanessa would of necessity win? I know that Victor Frankenstein would be vaporized straightaway, but there are some other serious contenders in there...

  • MissAmynae

    Which is exactly why she is my #2 freebie. (Monica Bellucci is my #1)

  • _Alexander_

    Monica Bellucci is great but I am pretty sure Eva Green would wreck her after 15 minutes. Now on the other hand if Eva Green and Natalie Dormer had sex I am pretty sure the universe will notice it

  • foolsage

    I'm going to stop reading these. You seem to have nothing to share here but disdain and GIFs of Eva; fair enough. I'm not going to write another thousand words explaining why you're missing the point (and indeed some key parts of the plot). I already know what all your future reviews of this show will be, regardless of the actual episodes. I'm done.

  • Bhammer100

    GIFs of Eva Green? That is a bad thing?

  • foolsage

    No, but they're not why I click on links to read articles here. I hope for some insightful commentary on a show and its cultural context; usually I find it on Pajiba, which is why I read so many things here.

  • Paisley Poppins

    Took the words right off my fingertips!

  • ironypants

    somewhat agree - it's okay if you aren't loving the show but two separate posts now with only NSFW Eva Green gifs are starting to bring out the Jezebel comment-er in me. She's great but these are making me feel like I've stumbled onto a different website.

  • daphne

    Me too. I've been reading here for years and years, never comment, because a) English is not my first language and b) I'm not particularly funny. And seeing this here made me kind of wistfully sad. It's not about liking or not liking the show but reducing it to the female protagonists (physical) merits two times in a row in a kind of attention grabbing way. Now I'm grumpy because a somewhat safe space does not feel so safe any more. But that's life I guess.

  • foolsage

    I feel like (NSFW) is in the article title as pure clickbait. I like to think that Pajiba is above that kind of thing, generally.

  • e jerry powell

    Alas...

  • Uriah_Creep

    I certainly don't mean to lessen your concerns or those of the others above, but I would say that it's the show itself that has put Eva Green and her carnal shenanigans in the forefront. It's hard to watch the show and not be left with her performances in mind.

  • ironypants

    True. And she is the best and and most beautiful thing about the show (running a close second, IMHO, is Rory Kinnear) but there's so much more a recap can focus on. I think this concern is coming from a good place, from a female readership who loves Dustin and expects more out of him, and the site in general. Obviously we all have fun objectifying our pajiba tens but something about these posts just hits a sour note. Maybe it's because her sexualization in the show is very much tied to the tragedy of her character, so treating it as something titillating feels kinda gross and off the point.

    Or maybe I just want gifs of Dorian Gray's naked butt too.

  • e jerry powell

    Dorian Gray has child-birthin' hips...

  • foolsage

    Yeah, those scenes are not generally titillating so much as horrifying. She's losing herself, fairly literally, when her eyes go white. She actually started with brown eyes, and they turn blue when she's becoming more like Amunet, then white when she becomes Amunet, which, yes, happens when she's having sex (or channeling). Not that you'd know any of this from reading the recaps here. Sigh.

    Oh, and I'm male, and straight, and I think Eva is very beautiful; these concerns aren't just coming from the female readership. Anyhow, if I want pics of her I can find them myself. That's not why I come here.

  • e jerry powell

    And, for my tastes, not nearly enough of Ethan and Dorian far more naked than they were together. If we're going to erotically objectify, then there should be a bit more of an egalitarian approach.

  • ironypants

    wait wait wait I FORGOT THAT EVER HAPPENED. way to drop that cliffhanger, show.

  • foolsage

    I hope for more than erotic objectification from reviews. Having said that, fair point about equality.

  • Paisley Poppins

    That's how I feel too. I really like her but the "reviews" of her "performance" here have tipped over into being leering and gross rather than appreciative. I'm surprised to find that here.

  • logan

    If I ever make a woman LEVITATE after sex I am so bragging about that!
    I never have bragged before but how do you not?

  • e jerry powell

    Actually, Dorian didn't make her levitate; he was too busy healing all the scratches by staring in a mirror. (Speaking of that, Dorian has some child-birthin' hips, no?)

    Nope. Vanessa was levitated by the demon in her vagina. So that's two demon vaginas on the season so far, between Green and Farmiga...

  • NateMan

    You mean like the scene in Scary Movie?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?...

  • logan

    never saw it and cant watch the clip at work.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    You should really, really not watch the clip at work, even if you could.

  • e jerry powell

    Something that stupid doesn't bear repetition even once, much less that often.

  • logan

    thank you for looking our for me. : )

  • ironypants

    Or anywhere, ever.

  • Repo

    This show did NOT turn out to be the show I thought it would be. This is the first time I can remember thinking a show would benefit from less sex. It's like all the sex of True Blood while failing to deliver on the monster action. And yes, I realize using True Blood as the example is setting the bar low but that's how much I've grown to dislike Penny Dreadful in very short order.

  • Jenn Hamm

    Ok, so...this show is so boring, yet there is still a sliver of hope (to quote Gary of VEEP, "I mean, there is always hope, Ma'am. We've got plenty of hope in this world.") that Eva Green and Co. can somehow save it. However, the mind-numbing plot and uninspired dialogue beg to differ. I had such high hopes.

  • LadyBuggy

    Eva Green is gorgeous but every time I see her walk, all I can think about is how long her arms are. Maybe it's the period wardrobe, but I find her arms extremely distracting.

  • Frankenstein needs a flamethrower? Maybe he should just join the...

    /sunglasses

    Marine Corpse

    YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

    /shows self right the fuck out

  • TK

    You're definitely not getting enough sleep.

  • NateMan

    That's it, you're done. Go to your corner. You know what you did.

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