“My uncle never stuck his finger in my plop plop … I know, I’m bummed about it, too.”
“I’m auditioning for the all-black production of Fiddler on the Roof. It’s called Fiddla, Please.
The Paul Reiser Show (Grade: D. I loved “Mad About You.” I really like Paul Reiser. This show? Not very good.)
(Larry David to Paul Reiser) “You should be doing your version of Curb Your Enthusiasm, because you’re so much worse than I am.”
The Office (Grade: B. The return of a little of that early season uncomfortable humor was refreshing, even if the episode mostly spun its wheels.)
“”One of my favorite things is fanfare for its own sake. So, without further ado, let’s all start clapping!”
“What is the native American girl’s name?”
I’m telling you, that baby could be the star of a show called “Babies I don’t Care About.”
Parks and Recreation (Grade: A for Awesome Sauce)
(Swanson on Chris’ vegetable loaf) “So, not only does this thing exist, but now you’ve deprived everyone of cake.”
(On Julie Roberts) “Is she that toothy girl from Mystic Pizza?”
“Did you grow up in the woods. Are you Nell? From the movie Nell?
“The key to burning an ex-wife effigy is to dip it in paraffin wax and then toss the flaming bottle of isopropyl alcohol from a safe distance. Do not stand too close when you light an ex-wife effigy.”
“Drop the microphone, get out of that bitch.”
30 Rock (Grade: B for mad one-liners. I’d give it a B+, but that would suggest it was within spitting distance of last night’s “Parks and Rec,” and it just wasn’t)
“I sound like Cagney & Lacey without the slutty clothes.”
“Can we order lunch from IKEA?”
“A large pizza with one slice taken out so I can pretend I’m eating Pac-Man, like my hero Blinky the ghost.”
“Is that a to do list, ‘cause if your wife is on it, I’ve already done it.”
“Sean Penn wanted me to go to Haiti. And I’m not strong enough for the pain and misery of a 3 and a half hour flight with Sean Penn.”
“You’ve got almost every kind of mustard, but still not the one I’m thinking of. It’s red and says ketchup on it!”
“Could you use that to motivate Slaughterface into sewing she sheriff’s mouth to his own anus? Of course, elegant. Should vaginatorium be capitalized?”
Archer (Grade: B)
“Hey, try not to be unconscious for too long. It’s super bad for you.”
“Can I bring you back anything from Russia? Maybe, nesting dolls of my penis?”
(After jumping onto a broken bottle two kids had busted): “How is this happy playtime? Use your imaginations. Make a soccer ball out of a dead cat.”
Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance
I couldn't stand that episode of The Office. Nobody seemed to be themselves. The only funny line of the whole show was "Babies I Don't Care About." Why did everyone in the office turn into giant clueless sucky suckups? This isn't the first time -- even recently -- that they've had a new boss.
Anybody who ran as hot-and-cold as Ferrell's character, so quickly, would be avoided at all costs. Not gushed over.
Posted by: Wednesday at April 15, 2011 11:09 AM
Wednesday: Agreed. Seems like the characters are just worked into the script; rather the script should be written for the characters.
Posted by: the new transported man at April 15, 2011 11:17 AM
Kelly: "And that's a meet-cute."
30 Rock:
Why do we need Tracy Morgan back??? He's so over the top, which I know is his thing, but really.
Parks & Rec:
That wedding was super cute and I want Ben and Leslie to get together.
How can Donna afford a Benz?? Doesn't matter, she gets paid to be hilarious.
Posted by: kilmo at April 15, 2011 11:18 AM
My favorite line of Community was when they were discussing which electives to take and someone mentioned the Art of Joke Telling and Annie said, "Don't take that class it's terrible, I dropped it after the the section on set-ups... Ugh, and that professor was so old..." (everyone stares at her waiting to continue and she just looks confused)
Also, I know I'll be watching Office next fall just because, but I feel like they owe it to us loyal fans to give us something worthwhile and just make Timothy Olyphant the new manager. Because at the end of the day, even if everyone else continues on their downward shame spiral of mediocrity, I'll get to stare at Raylan during the Justified off season. For his talking head scenes they wouldn't have to even worry about writing him lines, it could just be a good 2 minutes of him smirking. It'd win every award ever, even a Tony.
Posted by: Kayanne at April 15, 2011 11:19 AM
Speaking of, was Olyphant supposed to be on more? What happened? I loved what I got, but I didn't get enough.
Can't wait for James Spader's appearance.
Posted by: Mel C. at April 15, 2011 11:25 AM
my favorite line from parks & rec was 'no, orin, i don't know how i'm going to die...wait, are you asking me or telling me?'
adam scott's delivery was spot on.
Posted by: the FatMan at April 15, 2011 11:25 AM
If you texted Liz's number it replied with
" Thanks for your vote! The last person to spend 99 cents on me was when Dennis Duffy bought me a foam St. Patrick's Day hat... for Christmas 2004.
Lemon, out!"
Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at April 15, 2011 11:26 AM
Mel C. according to IMDb it doesn't look like there'll be any more Raylan, which blows. But they have been trying to keep the real replacement secret, so who knows. It seems doubtful, but since Olyphant is only pulling second fiddle parts in alien movies (I Am Number Four), maybe there's a chance? Eh, my money is on Darryl becoming the boss.
Posted by: Kayanne at April 15, 2011 11:37 AM
My favorite line from last night's Office was Erin answering the phone:
"...I'm so sorry."
Posted by: Jen at April 15, 2011 11:46 AM
Yeah, I think it will be a current character too. I just can't imagine someone like Will Ferrell going to TV for a full season. James Spader I could see. Hopefully he'd play a version of his Alan Shore character and do amazingly inappropriate things like make Erin sign a waiver so he could sexually harass her. I miss weekly Spader.
Posted by: Mel C. at April 15, 2011 11:47 AM
Parks was great. i'm going to have to re-watch it, there were too many funny things going on at once to catch them all. I just love that Leslie Knope is one of the most "real" characters on TV. You kept thinking she was going to interrupt the wedding but you could see her decide that, even though she thinks its a horrible idea, its their choice and she still supported them. I love it. Poehler just does a terrific job. The look on her face when April said how great she thinks she is was just fantastic.
The Office was off, but amusing. I still think it should end with Carell. I just don't think it works with out Michael. I did like the almost meta dialogue though and I wonder how much was real sadness from Carell in those scenes. When Jim said "You chose to leave." it was kind of brutal.
The tooth-pulling scene in Parks and Rec made me laugh really loudly all through the credits sequence.
I wish Community was better. It makes me sad because I love it, and it's not bad, but it could be so. Much. Better. I'm still going to stick around because I know one of these days it's going to knock my socks off and won't make me regret not waiting until the next day to watch the show so I can catch the first half of Vampire Diaries (Which has been AMAZING this season).
Posted by: Caitlin at April 15, 2011 11:59 AM
Parks and Rec was amazing. I scream-laughed at that opening, and the wedding was incredibly cute and sweet-- everything it should have been. And oh Godtopus, Ben looked adorable in his little sweater. I wish him and Leslie would just make the hell out already because they are KILLING me with the staring and the longing and the not just telling each other they want to have lots of sex and giant-headed babies already.
Office was terrible. Awful. I only sort of chuckled when Andy was doing his antics, and then snickered when Will Ferrell told Jim and Pam to stop talking about their baby, because SERIOUSLY. What happened to them? They're just completely insufferable now. I hate that I just don't care about that show anymore.
Your lack of faith in Community displeases me, Dustin. Here's a better list of the flippin' great lines from last night's episode (as supplied by Todd VanDerWerff at AV Club):
•"We got him?!" "I know."
•"We don't discuss the special gym."
•"Drunk ladies. Fancy bathrooms. And a room full of free coats."
•"Please take weird haircut, stupid grin, and go sniff another dog's ass."
•"Which do you think is better? Trevor St. McGoodBody or... David?"
•"That happened this morning."
•"I'd like to begin with a simple question: Who was the boss?"
•"I'm on the chapter right now where he traces Tony Micelli's genealogy all the way back to Caesar."
•"It's the only place to get fireworks that are too dangerous for Mexico."
•"Don't preach to me about romance, Annie. I had a three-way in a hot-air balloon."
•"Britta's attracted to men in pain. It helps her pretend to be mentally healthy."
•"My emotions. MY EMOTIONS!"
•"... season three caterer Gordon 'Giddy-Up' Gallagan."
•"Cornhole. Cornhole. CORNHOLE."
•"Pierce, Troy was molested." "Cool."
•"I wasn't so much 'molested' so much as I 'made it up.'"
•"Very impressive, Veronica Mars."
•"Before my ex-boyfriend Pablo was arrested for forging church relics..."
•"My uncle never stuck his finger in my plop plop. I know. I'm bummed about it too."
•"There's a path you take, and a path untaken. The choice is up to you, my friend."
•"It's called Fiddler, Please!"
•"You both come from moist wipe dynasties."
•"How about Thai? They're like Chinese Mexicans."
•"It's hard to be Jewish. It's hard to be Jewish. It's hard to be Jewish in Russia, yo."
Caitlin, word. The second half of this season of Community has been such a downer. I think Donald Glover is keeping me watching currently, everything Troy says is gold. I just hope it manages to recapture that magic it had. And Vampire Diaries is AMAZING.
Nothing tops Parks and Rec at the moment. I was cracking up at everything Andy said. Plus I loooooooove Adam Scott's little face.
I must admit I laughed at Erin's phone struggles but on the whole, it seemed like Ferrell and Carell were having more fun than the viewers. Someone give Mindy Kaling her own series please.
Posted by: Katie at April 15, 2011 12:23 PM
RobP: I get that you love the show, but if you consider EVERYTHING funny...nothing is funny.
Community was a let-down for me. The Paul Reiser was awful, it should have stayed on the shelf.
I loved The Office cold open and laughed my ass off, and then was kind of bored. Though I loved Erin trying to answer the phone. And poor Andy trying too hard. I haven't gotten to Parks and Rec or 30 Rock yet. I like to wait until I am well-rested to watch them.
But, now I am super looking forward to Parks and Rec!
Posted by: NImue at April 15, 2011 12:50 PM
Best line from The Office: "Drink the soap."
Best line from Parks and Rec: "Ok, that one is dead." Second best was anything out of Donna's mouth (No one wants to steal your Saturn).
Guess I'm the only one who likes Outsourced.
Posted by: Persistent Cat at April 15, 2011 12:52 PM
There was nothing about that episode of Parks & Rec that wasn't adorable.
Posted by: Anna von Beav at April 15, 2011 1:01 PM
Parks was also awesome for bringing in old characters: Derek and his boyfriend, Ben; Jean Ralphio; the sanitation crew; April's family; the previously talked about Orin....it was pure wonderful.
Posted by: Petrie at April 15, 2011 1:09 PM
I think COMMUNITY is always good. There is always at least one really funny moment every week. But yeah, it's not as funny as it used to be.
Same for 30Rock
I'm late on this Parks and Rec you speak of. This is actually only the second episode I've seen an it was hilarious. It definitely was the funniest show on last night.
COMMUNITY and 30Rock both started off great and now they are hit and miss. I better enjoy Parks and REc now before it too becomes hit or miss.
Posted by: junierific at April 15, 2011 1:40 PM
I loved last night's Archer episode, and think it was deserving of better than a B. If only for the whipped cream incident.
Posted by: jmag at April 15, 2011 2:16 PM
An homage to "An Occurrance at Owl Creek Bridge" involving arm wrestling that takes up a big chunk of the episode? And the line "Take out from Hooters! That makes no sense. We know they touched it!"
30 Rock, now and 4EVA!!
Posted by: Mrcreosote at April 15, 2011 3:37 PM
I don't think everything is funny, figgy, but Community always makes me laugh. Always. Even when I think it's not going to, it does. From the big concept episodes, to these smaller ones. I can't say that about any other comedy on TV right now. Parks and Rec comes the closest, though.
And Take it one step further. Community is really doing something different now, and lining it up with just another Thursday night comedy, doesn't give it the appropriate perspective. It's examining pop culture and semiotics, how the symbols we've come to use to communicate are rooted in that pop culture. It's like Abed said about in the last episode about how we talk to each other, "Pulp Fiction. Milkshakes. Bean cans." What a show like Family Guy only does reflexively, Community is doing with more thought and considerably more entertainment. This show is both high art and entertainment, so to judge it based on how many one-liners it had is to totally misunderstand the point.
Posted by: John G. at April 15, 2011 4:16 PM
My favorite park of 30 Rock was Pete's line about how he couldn't arm wrestle at 5:00 because there was a PTA thing and he was "snack dad". The delivery was perfect.
Posted by: Lauren at April 15, 2011 4:28 PM
Parks and Rec killed it last night, I was giggling like a maniac and my Ron Swanson crush is set in stone now.
kilmo: The cleaning lady at my building drives a Mercedes SUV. I still have a 10 year old Toyota go kart. How this has happened is still a mystery to me.
Posted by: Even Stevens at April 15, 2011 5:26 PM
Count me among the people who LOVED last night's Community. Hell, I gave it 3 separate slow claps in addition to multiple legit LOLs and I may have even squeed when Stephen Tobolowsky showed up.
Another unmentioned hilarious moment - at the end of Fiddler, Please; Donald Glover's look of "yeah, you DID just see that" (although, I find their lack of Magnitude in the cast an egregious oversight).
Posted by: Shane at April 15, 2011 6:46 PM
How could you NOT have mentioned Andy's quote from Parks and Rec where he mentions ME by name?
"Madames and.... MsWas"
Posted by: mswas at April 15, 2011 10:48 PM
@Shane: Nah, Magnitude is writing the review for the school paper. I bet he gives it at least 1 1/2 out of 2 Pop Pops.
@mswas: I noticed that, too. I laughed extra hard at that.
That's it, Pajiba. You've finally done it. I'll start watching Community. " 'It's called Fiddla, Please!' " ???
I'm downloading this show immediately.
It's called Fiddla, Please. God. I'm still laughing.
Posted by: Laurie at April 15, 2011 11:05 PM
Petrified Cat, I like Outsourced. So there's two of us.
I don't know why, but when I saw the text titled "What WAS Happening?" (Community), I died laughing.
P&R is easily the best comedy on TV right now. And Ron Swanson is dangerously close to being the perfect man.
Posted by: Snuggiepants at April 16, 2011 1:41 AM
Stopped watching Community around Xmas, got em downloaded, but meh, just don't want to watch it.
Modern Family is my favorite, Parks and Recs is cute, but not as rewatchable.
And retro Modern Family, been watching "Ed" on my Archos 7 velcro'd to the dash, ahhh, some Carol Vessy cuteness!
Posted by: TrickyHD at April 16, 2011 9:51 PM
The worst episode of Community is better than the best episode of the past 5 years of The Office (some eps of the 2nd season may rate a little better).
Posted by: Three-nineteen at April 16, 2011 10:04 PM
I couldn't stand that episode of The Office. Nobody seemed to be themselves. The only funny line of the whole show was "Babies I Don't Care About." Why did everyone in the office turn into giant clueless sucky suckups? This isn't the first time -- even recently -- that they've had a new boss.
Anybody who ran as hot-and-cold as Ferrell's character, so quickly, would be avoided at all costs. Not gushed over.