Crazy Ranking "True Blood": 'Your Time on Earth is Over' Edition
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Crazy Ranking "True Blood": 'Your Time on Earth is Over' Edition

By Sarah Carlson | TV Reviews | August 12, 2013 | Comments ()


For “True Blood’s” Sixth Season, each week we’ll review and rank the various raisin-cake plot developments of this bloody, campy drama. This post could get a bit NSFW, so be warned. Comments also won’t be strictly policed because the series is so far off the source novels, spoilers are practically a moot point.

We’re down to only one episode left for this summer’s run of “True Blood,” and although it has had its share of crazy, Season Six has served as a sort of resurgence for the series. Things haven’t been the same since the first three seasons, to be sure, thanks to some high points — the campiness of Eric turning Willa, the goings on at Vamp Camp, everything about Sarah and Steve Newlin — things are mostly back on track. Terry was given his due with a moving funeral and sweet flashbacks, although they might have been more powerful if they’d been included in the episode in which he died. Episode Nine, “Life Matters,” was an outlet for Todd Lowe and Carrie Preston to shine, and they deserved it. Every week, I’m amazed at the actors’ abilities to not only maintain a straight face during scenes but to put legitimate effort into their roles. They all deserve praise, but ultimately, this has been Alexander Skarsgård’s season. The rundown below is dominated with Eric scenes for good reason. His character’s departure at the end of the episode has many speculating about his future on the show, and if this really is Eric’s last season as a main character, Skarsgård clearly had a damn good time on his way out.

So, in honor of Eric, let’s all make a grand entrance …


… grab some Raging Bitch Belgian-Style IPA and get on with the episode.

5. The return of these two broads wasn’t crazy; I just missed them and love them.


4.5. But not as much as I love Ginger. I don’t get tired of the screaming gag. Even Eric has a soft spot for it.



4. While I am not happy to see Steve Newlin go — he was always a delight — at least he got to leave with a flourish. It made sense his fellow vampires wouldn’t keep him around considering he had betrayed them one too many times, and it was a nice contrast to Jason letting Sarah Newlin live. The vamps didn’t think twice about killing their own kind, but it wasn’t so easy for the humans.






3.5. Did Sookie really just come out as a telepath at Terry’s funeral? And no one thought it was strange? All righty.


3. Bill got to have his moment in the sun as a savior to his kind, but the effects didn’t entirely make sense. The rescued vamps all got essentially high after drinking his Warlow-infused blood, so shouldn’t Bill have been high as well? Same with Eric, who used Warlow’s blood to walk in the sun. This season has played fast and loose with consistency, but I’ll let it all go if it means we can be done with the bloody naked Liliths.



2. Welp, Eric sure got revenge against the doctor who killed Nora. And all were disturbed.




1.5. Bill finished the doctor off in a move straight out of “The Walking Dead.” But this wasn’t a zombie getting its head stomped in like a pumpkin; it was a human. The vampires didn’t deserve to be held in captivity and tortured, but did their captors deserve the same treatment in return? The back and forth of Terry’s funeral and its attendees talk of life with the undead gleefully taking lives painted an interesting contrast.


1. I’m not sure what this means. I doubt this was goodbye — a character as important as Eric would get a much bigger swan song, and Sookie would be a part of it. But has Nora’s death broken Eric to the point of wanting to get away from his current life and start over?




Best Lines

Bill: “We made a deal, Sookie.” Sookie: “I know we did, Bill. But Eric took our deal and f**ked it in the ass.”



Therapist: “I f**ked your progeny.”


Jason: “What’s that, Big J? Oh, yeah, I’ll tell her. He says to tell you you’re an average f**kin’ lay.” Sarah: “What will become of your soul?” Jason: “I don’t know. But at least I got one.”


Best Look and Moves

Lafayette, obviously.



Final Thoughts

I would watch an Eric-Jason buddy comedy all day, every day.




Sarah Carlson is a TV Critic for Pajiba. She lives in San Antonio. You can find her on Twitter.

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