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The USA Network: Same Shows, Different Actors

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under TV Reviews | Comments (21)



covert-affairs-ac.jpg

The comparison to J.J. Abrams’ “Alias” is both inevitable and unfair. However, the USA Network’s “Covert Affairs” is to “Alias” what Piper Perabo is to Jennifer Garner. That is to say: A pale, empty imitation. But pretty. I’ll give both “Covert Affairs” and Piper Perabo that much, and the extent to which you might enjoy it will depend on the rest of your television viewing habits this summer. If you’re comparing it to “Wipeout” or “America’s Got Talented,” it’s not a bad hour to spend. But if you’re catching up on better shows you’ve missed during the last couple of years, as I am (wrapping up “Ashes to Ashes” and “Fringe”), then the predictable, formulaic nature of “Covert Affairs” will likely feel tedious.

“Covert Affairs” is another summertime entry cranked out by the USA Network’s guilty pleasure factory. It’s shiny. It’s well lit. It has a modicum of sex appeal. And like the other shows of its ilk — “Burn Notice,” “White Collar,” and “In Plain Sight,” specifically — it takes a recognizable face and puts it into a sugary, palatable procedural formula that’s mostly self-contained, but has the barest of mythologies tying the series together.

The mythology in “Covert Affairs” is a boyfriend that abruptly and mysteriously left CIA-trainee Annie Walker after a torrid three-week affair. Soon thereafter, Annie is pulled from CIA-training and asked to take on a mission that requires her to dress as a high-end call girl. Naturally. The first mission puts her at odds with the FBI, her overbearing CIA boss, Joan Campbell (Kari Matchett), who suspects her CIA boss and husband, Arthur (Peter Gallagher) is having an affair. It also allows Annie to become confidantes with her CIA colleague, Auggie Anderson (Christopher Gorham), who is blind. Because why not? And because Annie’s expertise is in languages, there’s also a wise, old language professor around to provide advice (Clarke Peters — “The Wire,” “Treme” — who is seriously slumming it here).

And I probably shouldn’t neglect the fact that Annie — in combining elements of both “Fringe” and “Chuck” — also has a sister who doesn’t know that she’s a CIA Agent. That’s a secret that will probably last about half a season before the sister — Anne Dudek — is brought in to help on missions. I also suspect that the sister will put Annie in a series of blind dates throughout the course of the series, many of which will play central in the mission-of-the-week plotlines.

“Covert Affairs” isn’t a terrible show. It’s just redundant. It contains decent action sequences, the cast is blandly charming, and the mysterious boyfriend is blandly intriguing. But Piper Perabo’s wardrobe changes will probably be the highlight of the series. So what, right? It’s summer TV. It’s background noise. It’s what you watch when you’re jonesing for “Chuck” or “Burn Notice,” and you need a spy-show Whippet: a cheap, easy high that will wear off after a few seconds and leave no residual headache and very little memory of the experience.










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Comments

And now I'm singing that fucking song from Coyote Ugly.

Posted by: Julie at July 19, 2010 4:27 PM

My problem with Perabo is how she keeps contorting her mouth twisting it into all sorts of weird configurations, she's always doing something with it. It's very distracting (bet she's a real champion at giving head though).
Anyway, that was only one peeve the other is with that wimpy little girly man trying to project 'tude and acting all hard in that pic with her. Dude, you are just like that other tool on Criminal Minds who used to play Greg on that Dharma sitcom,

YOU AIN'T HARD and YOU AIN'T SHIT!

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at July 19, 2010 4:42 PM

Damnit, I had the same acting teachers as Piper and I know she's better trained than she tends to look onscreen. Still, glad she's getting work - it's good for the school.

Posted by: Tammy at July 19, 2010 4:47 PM

The whole time I watched the pilot I kept thinking of how awesome the Alias pilot was, how much backstory it crammed in, how many twists it pulled off, and how much better it was than this.

But yeah, it's a show on USA starring "that girl from Coyote Ugly," so it's not like I was expecting much. It's a fun show, mostly, and it's watchable, and I kinda like the relationship they're brewin' up between the blind guy and that girl from Because I Said So (man, she's been in some bad stuff - also, sweet Jesus, I've actually seen that movie?). In the doldrums of summer when Pretty Little Liars is looking like the most entertaining show stuck on my TiVo, I'll take Covert Affairs as something to put on in the background while I empty Google Reader or make dinner. I've got my hopes set high for Rubicon as the classier answer to Alias, though I don't know if AMC's gonna be able to go 3 for 3 after Mad Men and Breaking Bad.

Posted by: whatBENwatches at July 19, 2010 4:54 PM

Does anyone think that she looks a lot like Ellen Muth, except taller?

Posted by: LordNinja at July 19, 2010 5:03 PM

It does not bode well for a show when one of the first things you read about it is "it's well lit".

My bathroom is well lit and nobody's tuning in to watch.

(This may be partially due to cable providers lackluster response to- OK, absolute rejection of- my Toilet Channel proposal.)

Posted by: clocker at July 19, 2010 5:06 PM

My bathroom is well lit and nobody's tuning in to watch.

Posted by: clocker at July 19, 2010 5:06 PM

You using fluorescents?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at July 19, 2010 5:32 PM

Piper Perabo makes me make my meh face.

I miss Sydney Bristow.

Posted by: denesteak at July 19, 2010 5:50 PM

Dude. In one of the commercials, I saw a few seconds of Oded Fehr. In a towel.

Oded Fehr = THE SEX. So that might make it worth watching.

Posted by: MM at July 19, 2010 6:28 PM

PS Don't whippets (or whippits?) leave you with little memory of the experience because they're killing your brain cells?

Posted by: MM at July 19, 2010 6:34 PM

"You using fluorescents?"

Oh my, no.
Very unflattering to porcelain.

Despite the budget killing cost, I much prefer whale oil.

Posted by: clocker at July 19, 2010 6:45 PM

I don't think it's at all unfair to compare this to Alias. They're both shows about hot young female CIA agents trying to survive the cutthroat world of espionage and manage a love life at the same time.

Sadly (in a way), Alias raised the bar for this kind of thing so ridiculously high that there's no chance of them coming close, and it doesn't seem like they're even trying.

Posted by: Todd at July 19, 2010 6:56 PM

I tried, people. I really did. Watched about halfway through the pilot, then found myself overly fascinated by my beige blinds. And my beige smoke detector. That's when I realised that I was probably falling into a coma. Not even cute geeky guy is worth falling into a coma for.

Posted by: Joker at July 19, 2010 7:21 PM

It also allows Annie to become confidantes with her CIA colleague, Auggie Anderson (Christopher Gorham), who is blind.

Yes, but is he blind and shirtless? I.e. both metaphorically and actually blind to his secret insanely good body that turns out to be a major plot point of every episode? Otherwise there is no point casting Christopher Gorham. He is always, always a shy, nice guy who has secretly amazing abs that simply cannot stay hidden under a shirt. Like a six-pack ninja.

Posted by: squeeziee at July 19, 2010 7:26 PM

"Like a six-pack ninja."
So, Jim Belushi?

Posted by: clocker at July 19, 2010 8:19 PM

Burn Notice is a sugary, palatable procedural formula?

Oh no you didn't.

Posted by: Melissa at July 19, 2010 11:02 PM

To be fair, aren't most 1 hour shows like this formulaic? I mean, if I was on TV in the mid to late 80's, I'd stay as far away from Matlock, Father Dowling, and whoever the fuck Angela Lansbury played on Murder She Wrote as possible, cause somebody near those Angels of Death is going to die. They were 1-hour mini films, each story contained within that 60 minute span. Sure these shows have evolved- we now have a long-running mystery ever-present in the background, whether it be Campbell Scott's (you'll excuse me for not going with his Royal Pains' character's name) life-threatening disease, Michael Weston's attempt to get his job back, or where Fox Mulder's sister went. Even Fringe follows this formula. There's a reason for all this- so you'll keep coming back week after week. Fail to implement the formula, and you will likely fail (see Heroes). Lost was an anomaly, surviving the Twin Peaks method that Twin Peaks couldn't even survive.

On the other hand, you built a TV show around Piper Perabo. Good luck with that. She was barely believable as a bartender who shakes her ass on occasion.

Posted by: EJ at July 20, 2010 12:33 AM

for anyone who is interested, newsweek had an article that explained (in a positive light) the rigid formula that shows must meet in order to be usa network material:

http://www.newsweek.com/2009/07/10/bonnie-hammer-s-hit-factory.html

Posted by: RomeoCranberryIII at July 25, 2010 10:58 AM

I dislike Piper's egotism that shows through the screen and how when she's supposed to be fighting with some guy villain with just a dash of flirting, she makes it flirting with just a dash of fighting. She kinda makes me wanna punch her. And dye over her specially colored roots. Not badly written and I like most of the supporting characters, although Chris is rather arrogant too.

Posted by: Annabanan at August 14, 2010 10:09 PM

It is a good show that needs realism. Whoever heard of a CIA operative without a gun? Annie is never armed. I have not seen a gun in her hand or bag. In an early show she asked another agent how do you stay so calm? That is after he killed someone. He said I am not calm. I am focused. It will come to you. We need to show the CIA as highly trained people who protect our country.

Posted by: Fred Rutledge at August 20, 2010 12:11 PM

We The People I need a Job
Words & music by:
Fred R. Rutledge, Jr.

I need a Job__ Don't need no Bureaucrat__ to tell me who I am__
I need a Job__ Don't need a Racist Congress__ to Dictate what color I am__
I need a Job__ Not a Hollow Promise__ That only last till after Elections__
I need a Job__ like the way it was__ when we were Proud Americans!__

I need a Job__ Not Government restrictions__ so my boss has to Fire me__
I need a Job__ Not Ten thousand New Laws__ That'll keep me from being free__
I need a Job__ Not Higher Taxes__ to make me turn off my Electricity__
I need a Job__ Not a Communist Fascist__ to take My Country away from me!

We the People__ are the one's Supposed to be in Control__
Government works for us!__ We're not here to pay their bankroll__
We the People__ Aren't Slave__ for the Statist Regime __
We the People__ Have the Power! __ We're gonna take our Freedom Back!__
We're gonna take It on back__ Yea we're gonna take It on back!__
Yea, We'll Take Back__ our Country __ Again!__

What do you think __ when they buy up the Banks __ they won't get all of your money too?
What do you think __ when they take all the Land __ they won't seize your property too?
What do you think __ Crooks Payin' Washington __ Don't pay for propaganda too?
What will it take __ to Realize__ the State-Run Press ain't tellin' the truth?

I need a Job __ Not a free hand-out __like a Government Bum on the street
I need a Job __ to take care of my Family __ So my Kids get somethin' to eat __
I need a Job __ to get back my Pride __ And Stand Straight up like a Man __
I need a Job __ to get back my Pride __ And Stand Straight up like a Man __
I need a Job __ To get back my Freedom __ Not be a Slave to their Communist Plan! __

We the People__ are the one's__ Supposed to be in Control__
Government works for us!__ We're not here to pay their bankroll__
We the People__ Aren't Slave__ for the Statist Regime __
We the People__ Have the Power! __ We're gonna take our Freedom Back!__
We're gonna take It on back__ Yea we're gonna take It on back!__
Yea, We'll Take Back__ our Country __ Again!__


Now I pledge Allegiance __ to the Good Old U.S. of A. __!
I don't Pledge Allegiance __ to what some Hollywood-fool Actor Say! __
I teach My Kids __ Truth, Honor, God & the American Way __
Don't need no Atheist Teacher __ Tellin' my kids that They Can't Pray! __
They're gonna Try __ to take our Retirement __ And Ration all our Health Care __
Kill Granny for 'Social Justice' __ They'll Say we don't need to be Scared__
Mayo, Stalin, & Hitler__ Did just about the same thing __

America Better Fight Back Hard!__ Let our Liberty-Freedom-Bell Ring! __
We the People__ are the one's__ Supposed to be in Control__
Government works for us!__ We're not here to pay their bankroll__
We the People__ Aren't Slave__ for the Statist Regime __
We the People__ Have the Power! __ We're gonna take our Freedom Back!__
We're gonna take It on back__ Yea we're gonna take It on back!__
Yea, We'll Take Back__ our Country __ Again! __

We the People__ are the one's__ Supposed to be in Control__
Government works for us! __ We're not here to pay their bankroll__
We the People__ Aren't Slave__ for the Statist Regime __
We the People__ Have the Power! __ We're gonna take our Freedom Back!__
We're gonna take It on back__ Yea we're gonna take It on back!__
Yea, We'll Take Back__ our Country __ Again!__
Yea, We'll Take Back__ Our Country __ Again! __
Yea, We're gonna Take__ Back __ America___ Again!! __

Posted by: FRED at October 7, 2010 6:04 PM