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Capitalism: God's Way of Determining Who is Smart and Who is Poor

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under TV Reviews | Comments (32)



parks-rec_400.jpg

Community

“That’s before he started using his name as a pun. It makes me so Changry!”

“I agree with brown Jamie Lee Curtis.”

“Oh, he apologized. I guess that completely unbangs that stripper.”

“He’s thirty-something, I assume. He has a landline and uses the word ‘album.’”


The Office

“My resolution is …. ‘Meet a loose woman.’”

“The day shift. At a strip club. You can’t unsee that.”

“My goal was to learn a new word every day. And I must say, it’s going immensely.”


Parks and Recreation

“I’m usually not one for speeches so …. goodbye.”

“Capitalism: God’s way to determining who is smart and who is poor.”

“Fishing, not for meat. But for sport. Fish meat is practically a vegetable.”

“Would you be cool doing things that a prostitute does? Minus the money.”

“Every time I look one of these kids in the eyes, and he calls me coach. That’s how I know that I’m a coach.”


30 Rock

“Who wears shoes on a beach … Only Rocky and Apollo Creed during a training montage.”

“You have no reflexes. Your blood tastes like root beer. And some of your bones seem to have disappeared.”

“Who will raise my kids if I’m not around to pay someone to raise my kids?”

“I’ve been to a rodeo, too. It was a cat rodeo. In a gay guy’s apartment.”

“Do you and your wife ever fight … Not all the time. After her hysterectomy, she was in a coma for a while.”

“My alarm clock didn’t go off because it died in a cock fight last night.”

“Don’t think for one second that this means we love you less. Know that it knows that.”

“It was my imitation of Drew Barrymore’s impression of that crazy lady.”

“Do you have any meth … or meth?”









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Comments

A much welcome return for Parks and Rec. I actually thought The Office had the most laugh out loud moments this week, which is rare now. 30 Rock was okay -- please excise Jenna, that other guy, Tracy, and bring back the writer's room -- until the very end; then it was awesome. For best episode, it's an emotional tie between Community and P&R, but I think the former was on more solid ground that was probably helped by not being the first episode of the season.

Did anyone watch Perfect Couples? The guy from Worst Week and the chick from Flash Forward were likable enough to have a series revolve around them. But the other couples, man, talk about off-putting. The guys had some good moments (especially the former alcholic), but the ladies got the shaft. I'm pretty sure they should've swapped roles between Olivia Munn and the waitress from It's Always Sunny....

Posted by: RobP at January 21, 2011 11:18 AM

Although I don't care for "Outsourced"(Mr. PaddyDog does), I did like:

"Far be it from to interrupt you while you abandon your principles, but I'm curious, where did you stable your high horse?"

Posted by: PaddyDog at January 21, 2011 11:21 AM

Community:

"I like your sweater..."

"Thanks, my dad gave it to me."

Posted by: superking at January 21, 2011 11:29 AM

This:
“Every time I look one of these kids in the eyes, and he calls me coach. That’s how I know that I’m a coach.”

Should be this:
“Every time I look one of these kids in the eyes, and he calls me coach. That’s how I know that I signed up to be a coach."

Posted by: Se7en2 at January 21, 2011 11:45 AM

@superking, I loved that line from Community too. Also, Jeff lobbying for Chang by detailing how loathsome he is. Gold.

I avoided Perfect Couples by reading a couple chapters of Patton Oswalts book. Based on the previews I saw, I figured my time would be better spent that way.

Posted by: Groundloop at January 21, 2011 11:48 AM

The "brown Jamie Lee Curtis" line cracked me up every single time they showed Abed.

Posted by: chad at January 21, 2011 11:55 AM

Michael: "I never want to make Holly cry again. Unless it's from laughing too hard...or making love too beautifully."

Andy: "Dave Matthews Band. No hits. Deep tracks only."

Posted by: Bettie at January 21, 2011 11:56 AM

Andy: This is like the 200th time I’ve left you a message without a response, so if you’re trying to tell me something, I do not know what it is because you won’t call me back.

Posted by: Petrie at January 21, 2011 12:21 PM


The Office was on fire last night. It wasn't even in the lines, it was little moments of visual hilarity, like when Kevin is stuffing the broccoli in his mouth, or Creed's reactions to, well, anything. When he got bleeped out at Erin, or at the end when he was just standing there smiling and not shaking Michael's hands? Damn, those were brilliant. I'm loving the show again.

I'm firmly on team Parks and Recreation now. I think it was the Pyramid of Greatness that completely won me over. That and Rob Lowe. I miss you, Sam Seaborn.

Community...no. Can't do it. I tried. Not gonna happen.

Posted by: figgy at January 21, 2011 12:25 PM

Troy: "Is it black Michael Chiklis?"
Annie: "No!"
Pierce: "Is it white George Foreman?"
Britta: "You guys are talking about the same person. He's biracial, his name is David and he's a human being."

I almost lost it after that exchange.

Posted by: Markus at January 21, 2011 12:28 PM

I didn't hate Perfect Couples as much as I thought I would. Maybe I was just in a good mood but I laughed a few times and found the normalish couple tolerable. The blond girl's reaction to game night and how timers make her aware her life is slipping away cracked me up. It was really silly but better than Outsource. The Vance guy needs to go or get toned down though. He was really grating.

The other shows were on target. Where the hell was Jim though? He wasn't around after the teaser before the credits. Regardless, The Office was the best it's been in a while (I really love Holly) and Parks & Rec made a very welcome return. I finished my shrine to Ron Swanson after he unveiled the Pyramid of Greatness.

Posted by: TylerDFC at January 21, 2011 1:06 PM

Se7en it's actually "that's when i know, that i AGREED to be a coach."

Posted by: aroorda at January 21, 2011 1:13 PM

Markus, what cemented that exchange for me is after Britta said that, Jeff gives her a sideway glance that said, "Yea... that's true..." like it was news to him. Hilarious! Community was so good last night that I after I watched it live, I watched it on DVR again.

Posted by: denesteak at January 21, 2011 1:14 PM

I watched Perfect couples last night. It started off reall funny but after that it kind of lost steam. It seemed like they used all their good material for the promos, which I found pretty hilarious.

Plus the three guys were just incredibly annoying after the first five minutes. I might give it one more shot next week but if it doesn't improve I'm dropping it.

Posted by: camytaru at January 21, 2011 1:16 PM

My favorite part of "The Office", was when Andy started bobbing his head to "Ants Go Marching". Ed Helms made that song likable again for me.

Posted by: badhorse666 at January 21, 2011 1:29 PM

I feel like Perfect Couples is trying to be The League, but not nearly as funny. And without a point.

Posted by: Squirt at January 21, 2011 1:36 PM

Superking, thank you for spelling out that reference. I knew I recognized the actor who played Shirley's ex-husband.

Posted by: Lucas at January 21, 2011 1:39 PM

"Nice sweater."
"Thanks. My dad gave it to me."

(Also, time to note I'm a little too proud that my suggestion is the tag o' the week.)

Posted by: L4NkYb at January 21, 2011 1:42 PM

I kinda agree on Perfect Couples. Not strong by any means, but it was inoffensive. Anything with anyone from Always Sunny gets my attention. And since I don't have cable and am usually too tired to be productive by the time it comes on I will probably watch it for as long as it is sandwiched in between Community and The Office.
Loved all the rest, though I didn't stay awake for 30 Rock.
I really loved the whole exchange between the group regarding who Annie was dating. Also, Malcolm-Jamal Warner's sweater.
Also, I love Holly. If they don't have Michael leave with her, I am gonna be so pissed.
And Adam Scott, le sigh.

Posted by: Nimue at January 21, 2011 1:51 PM

Last night I thoroughly enjoyed The Office for the first time in a long time, and TylerDFC just made me realize why: it was the absence of Jim. It was back to the funny quirky office again and Pam is so much more bearable when she doesn't have Jim around to be so smug and superior with.

Also agree with Figgy. Creed was fabulous: that giggly grin when he admitted all he wanted was one perfect cartwheel: wonderful.

Posted by: PaddyDog at January 21, 2011 1:52 PM

Forgot to add I love Oscar ribbing Angela about the STATE Senator.

Posted by: PaddyDog at January 21, 2011 1:53 PM

Community- "I am serious. Yahoo Serious."

All I've wated to do since is watch Reckless Kelly

Posted by: Hoah at January 21, 2011 3:13 PM

"I work at a paper company. Those this terrify me." (or something close)

Posted by: anikitty at January 21, 2011 3:15 PM

DELETE DELETE...

"Those THINGS terrify me."

hangs head in shame.

Posted by: anikitty at January 21, 2011 3:17 PM

The lines from 30 Rock are better when you read them.

It seems everyone's timing was off.

Better luck next week.

Posted by: OldSchool60 at January 21, 2011 3:55 PM

OK last week (Earlier this week? This month?! Who knows!) someone on Pajiba put up a post about Parks and Recreation saying, you know, that I *really* had to watch it. And I'm back to get a stamp on my homework because, hey, watched the entire second season and LOVED it. So A+ for me.

"teach a man to fish and you feed him for a day. don't teach a man to fish and you feed yourself. he's a grown man. fishing's not that hard."

Posted by: LBees at January 21, 2011 6:01 PM

Community was great. I didn't enjoy P&R as much as I usually do but it was fine. I thought Perfect Couples was boring, derivative BS. I also found every character unlikable, even the "normals".

I love Holly so The Office was better than usual.

Posted by: becks at January 21, 2011 6:27 PM

Chang up on that bookcase almost made me spit my food onto my computer.

Posted by: jzhz at January 21, 2011 9:50 PM

"MY adventures! I am the protagonist!"
Jack Donaghy at his bestest.

Posted by: meatballsub at January 22, 2011 11:39 AM

That I'm even bothering to write this says only the worst things about me. Now, lick it up: April Ludgate is the thing I despise on a show I tolerate, please throw her in the ocean. It's like Laura from Dr. Katz, it is just unfathomable to me that people would suffer those garbage attitudes. You're being so eye-rollingly torn away from your own, way better universe? You're just biding your time with these losers as a means to an end, but in truth don't have nearly as much charm as you think you do and that's why you're a loser outside of office hours, too? Great. Well, I hope it's warmer on your planet because your replaceable ass is going to be sleeping in the ditches, and I hope you run into Pennywise while you're there. Jerk.

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at January 22, 2011 8:30 PM

You guys are capitalists, operating a website for fun and profit. Hypocrite or ignorant?

Posted by: bob at January 23, 2011 9:26 PM

Finally people giving The Office its due respect. It was certainly the best of the comedy line-up last night followed very closely by Parks & Rec and then Community.

Posted by: Littlejon2001 at January 23, 2011 10:06 PM