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Can Someone Please Explain the CBS Pallor that Clings To All of Its Shows?

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under TV Reviews | Comments (15)



hawaii-five-o-2010.jpg

I had low expectations for the CBS remake of the venerable 1970s’ cop show, “Hawaii Five-O,” and I was pleasantly surprised at how much fun the remake is. Granted, I have no allegiances to the original show; my knowledge doesn’t extend much past the theme song or the “Book ‘em Danno,” phrase that’s poorly shoehorned into the pilot. But the remake is entertainingly diverting, though unsurprisingly empty, the sort of show that makes for excellent background television watching during rerun season.

The pilot starts off strong, building a modest backstory for Steve McGarett (Alex O’Laughlin), whose father is violently murdered, and any show that can kill off the brilliant character actor William Sadler in the first five minutes deserves at least some attention. His murderer, too, is played with Marsterian flair by James Marsters of “Buffy,” fame, and it would’ve been nice if he’d had a longer arc. But this is CBS, home of self-contained scripted television, so you can only hope for so much.

After the father’s murder, the Hawaiian governor, here played by a CBS mainstay, Jean Smart, recruits McGarett to put together a task force, one he can use to find his father’s murderer and which will be used to track down and dispose of similar baddies throughout the course of the series. He enrolls an old high school buddy, Chin Ho Kelly (“Lost’s” Daniel Dae Kim), a cop recently kicked off the force after being wrongly accused of taking kickbacks. The detective assigned to his father’s murder, Danny “Danno” Williams (Scott Caan) is also brought into the task force, after he butts heads with McGarrett over a jurisdictional pissing match. Grace Park’s surfing cop, Kono Kalakaua, rounds out the force, mostly by providing a lot of bikini shots. It’s that kind of show. No judgments.

Still, “Hawaii Five-O,” isn’t worth anymore than mild escapism; it’s certainly not appointment viewing. The leads are suitable, especially Caan’s wisecracking Danno, who balances out O’Laughlin’s charming woodenness. He’s a better-looking guy than he is an actor, but O’Laughin serviceable in a role that will frequently call for shirt removal, while Kim still feels like he’s a “Lost” castaway who walked onto the set of another series while moping around the island looking for Sun Kwon . The storyline, at least for the pilot, was nonsensical, and less of a mystery than a series of really well executed action sequences (Underworld’s Len Wiseman directed the pilot) strung together tenuously to provide a through-line for the Marsters’ bookends. The writing is ponderous and tin-ear, but it’s delivered with modest skill.

But the biggest thing holding back “Hawaii Five-O,” besides no aspiration to be anything other than an amusingly frivolous cop show, is CBS. I don’t know what it is about the network, but there’s an indescribable CBS sheen on all their scripted fare (save for “How I Met Your Mother,”) a sheen that’s covered in dust and dead skin, as though to make their 59-year-old target audience feel more at home. On a different network, this “Hawaii Five-O,” might have felt a little more edgy, more energetic, and less conservative. On CBS, however, it has the same mothball scent that trails its “NCIS”, “CSI” and Tom Selleck. Still, while I don’t expect to continue watching “Hawaii Five-O,” it’s definitely the sort of self-contained series that I’d stop on during a channel-flipping excursion, if only to watch the beach scenes and well-choreographed explosions.









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Comments

You didn't mention the REEDUS!!!

Posted by: DeckOfficer!! at September 27, 2010 3:40 PM

just wait til the cylons attack. hopefully they take out jon cryer and charlie sheen first.

Posted by: stopthemadness aka Angry Black Lady at September 27, 2010 3:42 PM

I was disappointed in the show; I was hoping for a cross between NCIS and The Unit and instead we got a weakly scripted pilot that had some seriously godawful dialogue. It was like watching a parody of a good show...
The thing that irks me is the whole, let's create a police force that does not have to follow ANY rules - which works I suppose for escapist tv watching, but dear god, can you imagine the uproar if a taskforce like this actually existed in real life? The ACLU would have a frickin' conniption fit over civil liberties.

The Alex guy is cute and all, but I still prefer him as a vampire detective and really his looks can't carry the show alone. So far, Scott Caan's character is the only redeemable person on the show.

All that said, we'll probably watch because we have no social life to speak of.

Posted by: Stella at September 27, 2010 3:43 PM

Grace Park in a bikini. Grace Park hitting people. Daniel Dae Kim allowed to smile. O'Laughlin's abs on occasion (and the novelty of a leading man who has body hair). Everything else is gravy. Turn off the sound and watch the pretty, because it's easier on the brain that way. Or, you know, hope they get writers who can follow the scent of good dialogue until they actually find it. But I'd go with sound off. Less disappointment in store.

Posted by: Reba at September 27, 2010 4:09 PM

Scott Caan is what makes the above the usual CBS serial! I love to watch him act and to see him in a lead role.

Also, as a former local, I can say that this series by far does Hawaii better then anything since 50 First Dates, and that was FOREVER ago. The islands look gorgeous, the ethnicities are actually about right and they aren't mangling the slang as bad as they usually do. However, Pro Tip: if you are from Hawaii turn the captions on because they spell "haole" three different ways and butcher any other Hawaiian.

Posted by: Lola at September 27, 2010 4:54 PM

As a 52 year old woman, I can't tell you how amusing I found "a sheen that’s covered in dust and dead skin, as though to make their 59-year-old target audience feel more at home." No really, I nearly choked on my guffaw. Or maybe it was the dust and dead skin in my throat.

Posted by: snapnhiss at September 27, 2010 4:55 PM

"The ACLU would have a frickin' conniption fit over civil liberties."

True,

Though i find it strange the ACLU isn't more upset over the continued employment of Alex O'Loughlin.

Posted by: Scott at September 27, 2010 4:58 PM

This show was a testament to the power of superior writing, care of craft, and directing to me.

That is, in inverse.

So Daniel Dae Kim. Great actor on Lost, able to convey a great range of emotions with just his face, given that many times he wasn't able to join in with words on that show.

In this show he looks like an attractive guy who was handed a set of lines to read into a camera about five minutes before the shot. This is supposedly a character that has been deeply wronged by the police force, and presumably hates his displacement. The entire exchange in which he rejoins lasts about 30 seconds and I was half expecting a high five to sum the deal.

Grace Park. So young and so pretty, and on Battlestar Galactica, so full of pathos! Multiple versions of her that all behaved somewhat different, all able to leverage her incredible looks in distinct ways, tough and yet vulnerable. A character you liked, hated, and lusted after all at once in its incarnations.

On this show, she's a chick who takes her clothes off.

So anyway, I didn't like this show. And believe me, I'm a very heterosexual guy who likes Grace Park in a bikini, but oh holy hell was everything else bad here.

Basically, it's a show about a bunch of extremely attractive people running around shooting things. The end.

-Frob

Posted by: frobme at September 27, 2010 6:03 PM

lola, speaking of the authenticity of the show, I also like how it nicely showcases the everpresent casual local disdain for the white guys...very authentic!

And for those that liked the original, the Mercury Grand Marquis in McGarrett senior's garage is actually the original that Jack Lord drove in the '70s version. Nice.

Posted by: Jacktrade at September 27, 2010 6:14 PM

I think, with a little (okay, a LOT) Aquanet ,Alex will be able to emulate Jack Lord's helmet hair. Even though Scott seems to be sporting that style.
And Scott, I had hopes of you growing. What happened? You are officially now off any potential list, as you are just looking more and more like your Dad.

Posted by: DeckOfficer!! at September 27, 2010 7:04 PM

I watched this steaming pile of horse effluent, followed by the new Tom Selleck vehicle, Blue Bloods.

Color me singularly UNimpressed with either. I just shut off the telly and went back to my book.

Posted by: The Wanderer at September 27, 2010 7:15 PM

Okaaay...so, yeah, I only watched this for James Marsters. Sue me.

But really, I had high hopes for this, and I knew I shouldn't have expected too much, but it left me disappointed anyway. Thar bee spoilerrrrs, whateverrrrr.

Even if the "villain" was played by anyone else, I'd still be pretty upset about how they used him. First they tell you, hey I've been chasing this guy and his brother for five some odd years AND he just killed my old man, and then spend the ENTIRE show tracking him down, only to shoot and, presumably, kill him in the end. What was the point in telling us that you were chasing him for five years? When I was watching I assumed, that, hey, five years, that's a long time, this must be a pretty important...I dunno, character arc or statement or whatever. The whole five years thing was supposed to be significant, right?

Then they end the show with all of them sitting around a table deciding on a team name...WTF?
I didn't like the girl either...the whole punchy thing...seemed unreal, and unconvincing and...just...stupid.

What I'm hoping, is that since we didn't see a body, that maybe he'll show up again. James Marsters is probably better than that anyway.

Posted by: Candee at September 27, 2010 9:01 PM

Candee, it's a CBS show, there's no way they killed off their big-bad in one episode. Marsters will be back for sweeps or the season finale/cliff hanger.

Wanderer, Blue Bloods was just sad, it was so bad. Characters and back story were introduced in the most ham-handed manner possible. Horrendous.

Hawaii 5-0 is one of those shows with a mostly talented cast trapped with mostly terrible writing. That said, it's better than either of the NCIS francises, by a mile.

Posted by: Brook at September 27, 2010 10:47 PM

Sorry, he doesn't have Jack Lord's hair. Nobody has Jack Lord's hair.

When Jack said "Book 'em, Danno," he meant two stylists at Shear Madness for 8 a.m. Thursday.

Posted by: , at September 27, 2010 11:27 PM

@Brook
That's what I'm hoping for. I guess I just wish that they went about it better.

Posted by: Candee at September 28, 2010 10:50 AM