Baby Still Needs His Colostrum: 9 Things We Learned From This Week's "American Horror Story"
film / tv / lists / guides / news / love / celeb / video / think pieces / staff / podcasts / web culture / politics / dc / snl / netflix / marvel / cbr

Baby Still Needs His Colostrum: 9 Things We Learned From This Week's "American Horror Story"

By Joanna Robinson | TV Reviews | January 11, 2013 | Comments ()


Rest In Pieces, Dr. Thredson: I'll miss your constipated rhino b*tchface.

But what a way to go, right? From the canted angles, creepy lighting and over-the-top (as always) delivery, this scene thrilled me to my core.

In Fact, The Cinematography For The Whole Episode Was Bananas: There was one scene where Kit was basically shot horizontally. There were also wide angle shots galore. I'm not sure why they felt this episode warranted so many extra bells and whistles.

We Got A Better Look At The Aliens: If Grace's reflective eyeballs are to be believed.

Also, it's nice to know that this alien ship, much like the TARDIS, comes with a pool. Alien Obstetrics, however, leave much to be desired.

Lana Is A BAMF: Once she got out of Briarcliff and left the split ends and cardigans behind, Lana "The Sapphic Reporter," started looking good.

"Big Love"-esque Spin-Off? Everything was going so swell for Kit and Grace! But, uh oh, it turns out Alma is alive. Raising an alien baby is one thing, but plural marriage is quite another. Who here thinks Grace lied her little axe-murdering butt off about Alma dying in space? Who here is worried she might go all Lizzie Borden again?

Speaking Of Erratic Behavior: Has anyone vacillated more between good guy and bad guy this season than Father Timothy? Shades of grey are one thing, but I was not prepared for him to reverse on Sister Jude so quickly. Now that the Nazi, The Devil and The Serial Killer are dead, I'm hoping Timbo gets his just desserts.

Will Lana Turn Into The Monster Her Son Described? It's hard to reconcile the cold, distant mother Son Of Bloodyface describes with the Lana we've come to love. But if she does, indeed, abandon Sister Jude (as the promo for next week hints), it will be hard to continue to see her as our hero.

This. Whole. Thing. Anyone else shriek out loud in their house during this sequence? Or at least squirm into the very back corner of your sofa? I am astonished that Ryan Murphy and his cohorts got away with as much as they did. Just, skin crawlingly disgusting.

But Then There Was This: Which was beauteous.

Tom Cruise, President? Plus a Henry Cavill/Gina Carano Mating & Everything You Already Knew About Lindsay Lohan | Gangster Squad Review: Shooting Blanks

Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not