Back in 1984, little (still alive) Tate met both Thaddeus and Nora Montgomery in the basement of the Murder House. Nora tells the audience Tate that if he ever needs to get rid of ol’ birdface Thaddeus, he need only close his eyes and say “Go. Away.” You hear that, audience Tate? That’s how you get rid of a ghost.
When Dr. Ben Harmon tries to force Violet off the property, she disappears out of the back of his car. Like crazy dead lover, like daughter.
The dead gays still love to decorate! And Tate is not only a rapist, but also kind of a homophobe. Zachary Quinto chews up all the freshly painted and stenciled scenery. And it’s amazing.
Billie Dean Howard spins a lot of Craigslisty Psychic bullsh*t, the most pertinent being that there is a “presence” on the other side trying to break through and mix and mingle among the living. Birdface?
Oh and that Roanoke B.S.
The Tate fetus has been stealing all the nutrients from the Ben fetus and is ready to emerge after only six months.
And though Viv wisely swears to stay out of the Murder House, the Tatus, the ginger twins, and Constance conspire and Viv gives birth inside, by candlelight, attended by Dr. Charles Montgomery, noted Ghost Abortionist. Dr. Charles really is a terrible doctor, but a crackerjack seamster.
Nora Montgomery seems content with the runty, stillborn Ben fetus, whereas Constance absconds with the alpha Tatus. She and Moira may have to fight Hayden for him. That is one three-way cat fight I would pay to see. You hear me, Murphy? PAY.
Viv goes gently, if bloodily, into that good night. Really? Ben is the survivor? THE DOUCHEBAG GETS TO LIVE?
Violet finds out the truth about Tate from a bitter Chad and then tells Tate why he was gunned down by the cops. Evan Peters acts nearly every scene in this episode with an ocean of unshed tears in his eyes.
Violet breaks up with Tate and banishes him using Nora’s technique of closing her eyes and yelling “GO AWAY.” Peters is heartbreaking here and Farmiga is no slouch. She and Vivian have a lovely moment. I have to say, Viv was looking good in that final scene. Perfect hair and makeup. Death becomes her.
Carnage:
The Ben Fetus (Cause Of Death: The Alpha Tatus)
Vivan Harmon (Cause Of Death: The Alpha Tatus And The Sh*tty Doctoring Of Charles Montgomery)
Horror Cliche:
It’s heeeeeeee-eeeeeeere.
Best Lines Basically Everything Zachary Quinto Said:
“Were you a C-Section? Is there a pre-existing zipper we could use?”
“Oh, I am quaking in my loafers. What are you gonna do, murder me?”
“Put that skanky claw on that crib and you’ll be pulling away a bloody stump.”
“Man shall night lie with man, it’s an abomination.”—Constance
“So’s that hairdo, but I figure that’s your business.”
“Are you telling me that Norman Bates Jr. is the baby daddy?”
“Lady, just because you happen to be the hole that they crawled out of doesn’t mean a goddamn thing.”
The Gist: This is the most I’ve liked Viv this entire season. I kind of like the idea of the Harmon girls enjoying the afterlife free of Ben and his douchebaggery. And as much as we loved to love Tate and Violet…Violate?…Toilet? (TM Stacey), there really is no coming back from “I raped your mother.” Presumably the next episode (ookily entitled “Afterbirth”) will revolve around who will take possession of the Tatus. My money’s on the Harmon girls. Though maybe Ben will take the kid and make a run for it. I also have no idea where Ryan Murphy could possibly go with this next season. Presumably Larry’s permanently out of the picture. Many of you have guessed there will be a new family in the Murder House. But now that we know so much, will the same story be nearly as alluring?
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I can't wait for Season 4, when it's just going to be a crowded boarding house of ghosts.
Just everyone bumping into each other. A Mrs. Garrett-type as the landlady/house mother.
Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at December 16, 2011 12:31 PM
A greedy land developer will try to take the house and they'll have to put on a show to raise money.
Watch as Abortionist and the Infantata do "Puttin' on the Ritz".
Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at December 16, 2011 12:33 PM
I'm hoping new family AND new house. I think this show could stay really fresh by telling a completely new story every season.
You know, they kept saying "Croatoan!" and I was all "I KNOW I've heard that before, where have I heard it?!" and then I realized that it was an episode of Supernatural from, like, season 2.
I loved this episode. Violet convincing her mom to let go was heartbreaking (actually, pretty much all of Violet was heartbreaking this ep). However, I was a little confused when Moira just showed up again; where has she been the last couple of episodes? She just disappeared and reappeared, really. But overall, good stuff. AND THERE'S STILL ANOTHER EPISODE!! Oh, which reminds me: does anybody know if next week completes the season, and we'll have to wait until next year for more, or is this like a mid-season finale?
And for my money, one of the ep's best lines was GhostCrazyMistress: "You bitches get all that slime washed off my baby yet?"
Posted by: Anna von Beav at December 16, 2011 12:38 PM
I got a little weepy when Viv showed up to comfort Violet at the end. Connie Britton does the best "warm and loving" on TV.
Posted by: snapnhiss at December 16, 2011 12:40 PM
P.S. I think Optimus needs to be in charge of the spin-off.
Posted by: Anna von Beav at December 16, 2011 12:42 PM
Ian McShane as a real ghostbuster, battling Constance as the protector of the ghosts. Let the scenery-chewing commence!
Posted by: Spudboy at December 16, 2011 12:44 PM
It was a great episode. I've always Viv. She's always had a lot of fight in her. Same with Violet. Their tender moment at the end was fantastic.
I guess everyone just forogt about the poor exterminator guy. I would imagine his truck has just sitting out there all day.
Posted by: Forbiddendonut at December 16, 2011 1:03 PM
There was so much going on in this episode that I don't see how they're going to top it in the finale, but I was blown away!
I'm starting to think like JustBill that a new story in another house would be awesome, and wouldn't put it past the creators to do just that. How many more dead characters could they add?
Posted by: special snowflake at December 16, 2011 1:04 PM
Evan Peters for (all) the damn awards!
Loved the scene where he "goes gay" after Patrick, Quinto's bf. I wasn't sure how far the scene was gonna go.
kilmo, totally, they played it almost like Tate had done something similar before, Evan Peters is fucking like....holy shit. Just holy shit.
Posted by: Nadine at December 16, 2011 1:22 PM
This episode was fantastic. Constance/Chad, Violet/Viv, Violet/Tate...all of it just kicked so much ass. I'm gonna hate not having this to watch every week! And it is the end of their season, not mid-season, if I am not mistaken.
As far as next season goes, has anyone else played around on youaregoingtodieinthere.com? Because you walk through the house and look at things that are related to dead former occupants, sometimes including corpses. I mention this because NOT A SINGLE ONE has been on the show yet. There's a dead bride, a woman who kills herself in the oven, some creepy home movie shit in a children's room in the attic, a bondage couple gone wrong, and someone OCD sociologist who slaughtered and cleaned up after the whole family. NONE of it has been used yet. So I'm guessing there's a lot more going on yet in that house. I'd like it to stay there only because I want to know what keeps the spirits bound there as opposed to anywhere else. You have to die on the property for it to count, and every single person who dies there is stuck there, and I'm not sure why. On the one hand, answering that could ruin everything. On the other, I really want to know.
Posted by: KatSings at December 16, 2011 1:22 PM
EVAN PETERS.
We all need to remember that kid's name because he is going to be a BIG FUCKING DEAL one day. Just wow.
Posted by: Mel C. at December 16, 2011 1:31 PM
What I'm wondering about is where did Tate go? Is he out of the house and has moved on to some sort of spirit limbo? Or has he not left the house but he's no longer in Violet's afterlife. Could each ghost in the house have their own afterlife dimension which they can have some control over?
Posted by: Rum Cove at December 16, 2011 1:33 PM
Evan Peters FTW!
OK, I have a burning question. And I am decidedly *not* a nit-picker. But it's bothering me. So, it was cute that Tate didn't know what "U"-Tube is, being stuck in 1994 and all. However: was the expression "a little strange" in common use in 1994? My feeling is no. But he said that to the blond gay guy: "Don't you want a little strange?"
I loved this episode, though. It killed me. Just like Vivien! (Zing!)
Posted by: MM at December 16, 2011 1:38 PM
PS I'd still do him, even with his ghostface makeup on.
Posted by: MM at December 16, 2011 1:49 PM
MM I had the same thought actually, the day after I was thinking about it and did pause and wonder if it wasn't a little out of place.
He is still super sexy though.
Posted by: Nadine at December 16, 2011 1:50 PM
Also isn't it possible he picked it up from other people in the house? Possibly even the gay couple who drop a bunch of modern slang around the place?
Posted by: Nadine at December 16, 2011 1:52 PM
Very fun episode.
Does anyone have an explanation why Moira appears as an old lady ghost? Every other ghost seems to appear as they were at the moment of death, but Moira gets to be both young and old, even as she died young.
Since the title is not American Ghost Story, I wonder if they would have the guts to make next season about some other horror. Glittery vampire and diamond-skulled alien stories are ripe for retelling...
Posted by: ed newman at December 16, 2011 1:55 PM
Best line was "I can go anywhere in this house without tripping over one of your dead offspring."
And everything everyone has said about Evan Peters--YES. Damn my crush on his grows every episode.
@Ed Newman-- I have no idea why but that's a damn good question about Moira. She's the only one who appears at different ages.
Posted by: lillie at December 16, 2011 2:21 PM
"CAN'T go anywhere..." I messed that quote all up
Posted by: lillie at December 16, 2011 2:23 PM
I'd like to know that about Moira too, ed. Is she able to control her appearance? Can the other ghosts change too? And if the ghosts can change their appearances, for example, why wouldn't the burn victims have shed their scars by now?
Posted by: MelBivDevoe at December 16, 2011 2:26 PM
I put this show on in the background while I checked the internets because I didn't want to listen to the assholes at espn talk about Tim Tebow. And I had no freaking clue what was going on. Basically there was a lot of weird shit. It confirmed my general rule of not jumping into the middle of show, especially one like this.
Dr. Charles is a terrible doctor, but he's using 1920s equipment, ie whatever he had in his clinic at the time, also why the nursing students were using Ether.
I'm not sure Tate is actually a homophobe. I think he was just being super antagonistic.
Quinto needs some awards too. Obvs the scenes between and Constance were hilarious and awesome, but the scene between him and Violet was heartbreaking. Farmiga needs some awards too. Everybody, but Dr. Harmon, unless there's a "best ass award" that's both literal and figurative.
unless there's a "best ass award" that's both literal and figurative.
snort!
Posted by: MM at December 16, 2011 3:04 PM
I think the ghosts have some control over how they appear. For example, Nora has that gaping wound in her head, but Tate doesn't have any bullet holes. And Moira told someone in the house that "people see what they want to see" so for women, Moira is old and sweet, and for men she is young and hot. Also...you can't see her gunshot wound to the face, so. Clearly she can control how she appears. That's my guess.
Posted by: Kristobel at December 16, 2011 3:19 PM
I was personally a big fan of the "you couldn't steal shit out of your own ass" line. It was one crazy storm of television goodness.
Evan Peters for the awards! Huzzah!
Posted by: Megan at December 16, 2011 3:20 PM
I was a sexually active kid in the 1970s, and the phrase "getting a little strange" was in use way back then.
The more you know.
Regards,
A Coot
Posted by: Jerce at December 16, 2011 3:26 PM
Bless you, Jerce.
The More You Know {shooting star}
I was more in tune with the "Hi, I'm Tate. I'm dead. Wanna hook up?" That took me back to my own 1994-era self.
Posted by: MM at December 16, 2011 3:29 PM
My vote? Viv's Florida family members somehow end up with the house. Or, failing that, some hapless moronic celebrity even more hapless and moronic than Travis, The Blandest Model.
All I know is, shit's gonna hit the fan when the Harmon girls team up against Crazy Hayden and her baby-thieving comrades. The dead, after all, can't get killed AGAIN, so other casualties must ensue.
Posted by: L at December 16, 2011 3:34 PM
My favorite bit in that episode: Chad and Patrick's diabolical plan to smother the babies at their cutest age thus turning them into - as my beloved Angeleno Ewok phrased it - perma-puppies!
Posted by: DarthCorleone at December 16, 2011 7:08 PM
Ossom episode simply for having the dead doctor and the nurses deliver the baby. Did not see that coming. I was sure Constance was going to be the midwife.
Also, if Norman Bates Jr. Jr. is the anti-christ, why wasn't the house shaking or something like it always was in End of Days? pretty anti-climatic.
No, no, no to bringing vampire and werevolves in. Just let this be spirits only lest it turns into that joke of a show on SyFy.
They need to go full demon on the next season and it's time to bring in some possession episodes already. if the spirits can bite off your dick, surely they can get inside of you like Milo and the gang, right?
Posted by: haplo at December 16, 2011 9:09 PM
Everyone on this show, front of camera AND back, deserves all the goddamn awards.
Not just because they do, but can you imagine the collective sanity level of the rest of the audience after the theme gets played on every single win?
Posted by: Shane at December 16, 2011 9:12 PM
Oh, and MM and Nadine - the phrase "a little strange" has been floating around jazz circles for decades.
Posted by: Shane at December 16, 2011 9:17 PM
I was wondering about what ties everyone to the house as well. They keep saying that they are stuck there for ever, but we don't know why. Like they can't leave no matter WHAT except Halloween.
Buut...I remember in one of the episodes, where Ben built the Gazebo, that Larry saw Moira's body there, but then they just continued building on top of it. Then Constance said to Moira something along the lines of, "Now you'll never be able to leave."
Maybe it was just a slip-up from the writers? 'Cause Constance's boyfriend was dropped in the middle of somewhere in the hood, and he was still hanging around the house, right?
Posted by: Candee at December 16, 2011 11:00 PM
WTF is up with all the ladies lookin' all hottied-up after they die? Their being all dolled-up is a lot like Zachary Quinto's $12,000 watch. Do dead people need all that makeup? They look great, though...except for Moira when Moira's Old-Maid-Moira. I'd like to know why she changes back and forth too. Did she die twice or something?
I'm beginning to like Team Dead, though. Now they can all mock Ben for still being alive. Neener-neener, Benny ol' boy!
Posted by: LaFemmeMonkita at December 17, 2011 12:55 AM
Candee, I wondered about that too, the inference, I thought, was that had her body been discovered Moira might have been able to move on. Maybe that's part of it, the old 'unfinished business' thing, maybe it's just a sort of...emotional resolution, their only desire fulfilled. Moira wants to be found and wants justice, the...oh SHIT, the mum for whom the house was built, she wants a baby etc, perhaps now with the one she has, she'll disappear(I hope not)
Quinto and co wanted a kid but Quinto realised it would never happen and I took it that we maybe wont see him again any more.
When The Black Dahlia appeared, she seemed to vanish after learning she became famous after all, the burned wife and kids only appeared when they 'needed' to be seen, and haven't been seen since Burny McMeltface turned himself in.
I think it's a mix of being physically trapped by their body being there, or emotionally trapped until their business is resolved and they can go.
I mean stuff like, Violet could cast out Tate IN HIS ROOM. There's something in the emotional tie/forceful ejection shit the psychic tried to peddle, the Roanoke story is just...easy pickings.
Posted by: Nadine at December 17, 2011 7:25 AM
I have one word for you guys....
Purgatory
Posted by: pkittie at December 17, 2011 1:59 PM
Creepy that we never got to see the baby's face...
Evan Peters for ALL THE AWARDS