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10 Things We Learned From This Week's "American Horror Sto-HOLD UP IS THAT A NIPPLE LAMP?

10 Things We Learned From This Week's "American Horror Sto-HOLD UP IS THAT A NIPPLE LAMP?

By Joanna Robinson | TV Reviews | November 16, 2012 | Comments ()

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What Are You Up To, Sister Mary Eunice? She’s making nice with Dr. Arden and absconding with stumpy Sevignys. Did she plant Shelley in that school to shine a light on Dr. Arden, or did Shelley drag herself there? Seems unlikely. What with the stairs and all.
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Your Weekly Monster Sighting: By the by, can you believe an actress of Chloe Sevigny’s pedigree agreed to stump around waving her blisters in the fine Massachusetts air?
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Alright, Alright, Wendy’s Dead: Pity, Clea DuVall, I hoped for so much more from you.
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Someone Give Sarah Paulson’s Dentist An Award: Many folks are calling for Paulson to get an Emmy nomination for her Lana histrionics. I am not the biggest Paulson fan, but her gums look awfully healthy.
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Let’s Be Honest, This Is Where The Award Show Gold Should Go: Last season Jessica Lange mastered the art of the kitchen table soliloquy. Usually while sucking on a cigarette. She’s yet to combine the two this season, but Sister Jude’s Squirrel Speech was classic scenery chewing. Well munched, Jessica.
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Did You See That Coming? I did mention in the beginning of the season that I thought we’d see something more interesting from Dr. Threadson. You don’t hire Quinto to play the straight man.* But the last couple of episodes lulled me into a false sense of security and just last week I was predicting something terrible would happen to Threadson. WRONG. Unless, of course, you count wearing teeth as an accessory. Quinto gave a great interview about the twist and his feelings on “American Horror Story” in general.
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Please Let Bloody Face Have An Etsy Shop: Because, girl, I have the perfect place for that Nipple Lamp and Skull Mint Bowl.
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Kit Is Super Screwed Now: Tricksy, Bloody Face, very tricksy.
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Ain’t No Photobomb Like A Nazi Photobomb: We’ll never know for certain if Franka Potente was actually Anne Frank. But we do know that a) Dr. Arden/Gruber was TOTES a Nazi and b) lobotomies go a long way towards explaining the 60s.
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Siiiiigh….Aliens: I love every separate thing that Ryan Murphy and company are doing this seasons. But together it’s a lot of crazy. Too much crazy? Let’s recap the episode: nipple lamps, serial killer reveal, NAZI reveal, lobotomy, skull bowl, sterilization, major arrest, a nun sex scene, a stumpy monster sighting, a possessed nun and, oh, yes a FUCKING ALIEN ABDUCTION. Unless it’s a mass hallucination, we’ve got aliens roaming about the place. Impregnating people? Saving people? Alma’s alive? Grace’s lady bits are not? Tune in next week. Same batsh*t time, same batsh*t channel.
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*pun most assuredly not intended









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  • I think I saw it coming as soon as Dr. Threadsen brought Lana to his house. Empty? Check. Extremely tidy? Check. Slightly unprofessional to bring a patient to your home to stay the night? Check-a-roo!

    But the nipple lamp. CHRIST ON A BIKE.

  • Uriah_Creep

    I've long agreed with the old saying "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a pre-fontal lobotomy", but after seeing Charlotte back at home, I'm warming up to the idea of some brain sculpting.

    Not for me, silly, for the people around me.

  • lolux

    No idea why I focused on this during the episode, but holy crap does AHS have some amazing set designers. Even before the nipple lamp or skull mint bowl, something about Threadson's house was screaming NOPE.

  • DarkMedia

    Great article! And thanks for sharing our interview with Zach. He had some amazing things to say about AHS, and how effectively horror can hold up a mirror to societal ills.

  • Jezzer

    "By the by, can you believe an actress of Chloe Sevigny’s pedigree agreed to stump around waving her blisters in the fine Massachusetts air?"

    Ask Vincent Gallo how difficult it is to get Chloe to do things other actresses are too good for.

  • John G.

    Watching this show is a sign that you may be insane.

  • Groundloop

    Threadson turning out to be Bloody Face was a shocker to me, but you knew something was up with the nipple lamp and skull bowl. But then they took it over the top by having him eat a mint while drinking red wine.

    What kind of monster does that?

  • lowercase_ryan

    Oh and I will freely admit that the AHS group is the best of all the Pajiba Facebook Groups.

  • KatSings

    We are pretty awesome, it's true

  • Jerce

    Can you provide a link to this Facebook Group? Apparently I am not good with FB because I can't find it to join it! I wanna join!!

  • lowercase_ryan

    are you in the Pajiba group?

  • Bodhi

    Where might one find this group?

  • lowercase_ryan

    search for the Pajiba group on FB, it's open. once there just ask about the AHS group.

  • thenchonto

    Ding? Ding ding ding? A-N-Y-B-O-D-Y?

    Mark Margolis showed up tonight, too, before being overshadowed by literally everything else. I hope he comes back for some more Nazi investigating.

  • It's always a pleasure to see him.

  • sjfromsj

    I could sense Threadson was shady from the beginning of the episode, except I thought that he was going to rape Lana as part of "aversion therapy".

  • When he walked past her to bring in the male model, I thought for sure he was gonna close the door and be all "And now for the next part of your therapy, we DO IT!"

  • lowercase_ryan

    Everyone thought that. Then I thought he was one of those creeps that likes to watch and stuff.

  • KatSings

    I maintain the mass hysteria explanation for the aliens. They only see them at times of extreme stress. And as someone pointed out elsewhere, if Grace had gone missing from solitary, what with all the escaping going on lately, SOMEONE WOULD HAVE NOTICED THIS. I think she dreamed up the whole thing in her madness at the reaction to being sterlized (which also pretty clearly happened).

    This episode was amazing. And disturbing, for the first time, in a way I literally couldn't handle. Anne Fake getting her lobotomy while her husband not only signed off on it, but WATCHED IN THE SAME ROOM? I could not handle it. I was shaking and had to go hold my husband for a solid commercial break before I could feel ok again.

  • lowercase_ryan

    Lana escaped pretty easily. Although I don't see how that doesn't connect back to Threadson. Same with Nub Love and Arden. That's a connection that has to be made I think.

  • I dont think Threadson is real anyway(alis)...he makes a comment he "never was" there

  • KatSings

    She did, but they noticed she was gone pretty quickly. And she wasn't locked in solitary, waiting for someone to fetch her for her sterility operation.

  • lowercase_ryan

    fine, fine, you win this one.

  • lillie

    "Care for a mint?" And right then, she knew.

  • damnitjanet

    I'M 2 FUCKING EPISODES BEHIND!! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!

    Nipple lamp is the new leg lamp?

    I LOVE LAMP

  • Jerce

    If you are two episodes behind, you should NOT be reading this; although I admit that Joanna's "recaps" are TV crack with chocolate mousse filling.

    Seriously, though, don't spoil yourself like this.

  • Anna von Beav

    NIPPLE LAMP

  • Sums the whole season up in one succinct visual, don't it?

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