"...A Horrible Feeling of Nausea Came Over Me, Which, Do What I Would, I Could Not Conceal"
True Blood / The TV Whore
Sept. 4, 2008
In getting ready to watch the premiere of “True Blood,” I realized a truth about myself. Like many a boy, I was fascinated with vampires in my youth. And now, a fully grown man-boy, I’ve always thought that I’d remain fascinated with vampires. “Oh man, I’m totally going to watch ‘True Blood,’” I told folks, “because I love me some vampire shit.” But then I tried to think about what vampire shit it was that I really love. And the list turns out to not be that long. Can’t really think of any vampire books I’ve read and loved, although I do know I didn’t make it but 10 pages into Interview with the Vampire. Have only seen a single episode of “Buffy,” and none of “Angel,” so I can’t pull those out of my pocket. “Moonlight” was shite and “Dark Shadows” never did it for me. Most true vampire movies, meanwhile, don’t rank any higher for me than a middling “well it was a’ight.” I mean, I love the hell out of From Dusk ‘til Dawn, but that’s because it’s just a fun flick, not because it’s some type of great vampire flick. And, again, I somewhat ironically love The Lost Boys, but anyone arguing that that’s actually a great movie loves themselves the Coreys a bit too much. Hell, I think that my favorite vampire movie may actually be one I grew up adoring, Once Bitten (Netflix it, post haste), and if I’m going to claim that a Jim Carrey flick is my favorite, can the genre really be one I dig on as much as I think?
So I wound up sitting down to watch “True Blood” with far less anticipation for the show than I’ve actually had since first hearing about it. Sure, I was still psyched about seeing Alan Ball’s return to HBO after “Six Feet Under,” but it was a tempered psych. Which turned out be a good thing, judging from the first episode, because if this show can’t meet even my tempered expectations, there’s no way it would’ve met heightened “bring on the fangs!” expectations.
“True Blood” is based on The Southern Vampire series of books. Written by Charlaine Harris, the books are about, well, southern vampires. The conceit of the show, as in the books, is that vampires now live out among us thanks to “Tru Blood,” a Japanese-manufactured synthetic blood that takes away the need for the undead to feast on the mortals (while they no longer need it, some still want it). The show starts two years after the vamps “came out of the coffin,” and we find that they’re slowly working to gain acceptance in mainstream society. And that’s the first major disappointment of this show. While I have no problem with Ball and company trying to use their story as a metaphor, I do have a problem with it being so openly worn on the show’s sleeves. See, because the vampires are just like the gays (albeit with sharper teeth and a sketchier fashion sense) — they used to have to hide in the shadows but now they’re here, they raise fear, get used to it! Although “True Blood” appears to want to be a campy show — which is a good thing — the entertaining camp begins to skew towards heavy-handed ridiculousness when it’s coupled with all the subtlety of using a sledgehammer to open a vial of blood. And it’s a shame, because I think the metaphor can work and, frankly, I think the most intriguing part of the show is the whole notion of vampires trying to live with us (along with some of the offshoots of that, like humans using vampire blood as an erotic drug), rather than just feasting off of us. But at least with the first episode, it’s all handled quite poorly.
Metaphors aside, the first episode introduces us to a slew of characters living in the New Orleans area. First and foremost there’s the bizarrely named Sookie, a psychic waitress played by Anna Paquin. While I understand that Sookie is the central character in the books, they aren’t stretching her quite as thin here, which is a good thing as Paquin is the second major disappointment of the show. The character of Sookie, herself, is rather interesting, this pious southern waitress who’s trying to raise herself up while dealing with the nightmarish ability to hear the horrible thoughts of her friends, family and customers. But Paquin is … well, she’s terrible. You know her cruddy southern accent in The X-Men flicks? You’ll miss that subtlety here, where her put-upon accent and continuous face contortions drag down almost every one of her line readings. And then the thin nature of most of the dialogue buries those lines in an unmarked grave. So while Sookie’s interactions with Bill, a brooding vampire who’s new to town and hoping to make it his home, are supposed to be the romantic core of the show, I found myself just hoping Bill would have himself a midnight snack. Although I’ve seen one or two other reviews that shone pretty positively on Paquin’s performance, suggesting that it may a case of “to each their own,” I gotta say that her performance just was not my cup of blood.
Beyond that, the show is basically one big pile of meh. Most the rest of the actors fall somewhere on the scale between “yikes” to “yawn,” and most the rest of the dialogue is just as bad as the words poor Paquin is forced to spit out. That being said, there are a few positive things to say about the show. First and foremost, I love the opening song, although the credit sequence itself doesn’t much do it for me — the sequence isn’t terrible, it just doesn’t meet the standards of the great tune accompanying it (and doesn’t it kinda say all you need to know about a show when the best thing I can say about it is “great credits song”?). There are also at least two good actors who manage to raise above the material, namely, Chris Bauer (“The Wire’s” Frank Sabotka) and William Sanderson (“Deadwood’s” E.B. Farnum) — the pair play, respectively, a detective and a sheriff, and I really want to see the two of them in a buddy-cop series. And while he was not in the premiere, I understand that Alex Skarsgard will be showing up as a Nordic vampire, and considering the knockout performance he just gave as Sgt. Brad Colbert in “Generation Kill,” I’m highly intrigued to see him in what will be a substantially different role, to see how good his acting chops are. And I can also get behind the fact that the show has a lot of sex and violence, particularly because it isn’t terribly graphic — mixed properly with the camp tone pervasive in other scenes, the net effect could be really interesting. It just wasn’t in this first episode.
All that being said, I am going to tune back in, albeit with a fair amount of hesitation and a heavy trigger-finger hovering above the remote. I’m willing to give the show a chance both for the few things mentioned in the last paragraph and, more importantly, because this is Alan Ball. I just can’t believe that the guy who wrote and directed this episode, and who’s producing the series, is the same guy who brought us “Six Feet Under” (which, while it had some flaws, was just on a whole other level compared to this show). I can’t reasonably expect this show to be as good as “Six Feet Under” was when it was on its game (hell, I stand firmly behind the position that it had the best series finale ever, and that it’ll never be topped), but I think it’s definitely fair to expect a quality show worth our viewing investment. Whether that’s what we’re going to get is anybody’s guess, but I’m personally willing to give the show a few more hours to see if it can find its way. And if not, well, I can just add this to list of vampire stories that don’t do it for me, and sit down for another viewing of Once Bitten. Seriously, that movie is the bat’s wings.
(“True Blood” premieres on HBO this Sunday night at 9 p.m., and will surely be rerun a half-dozen times throughout the week.)
Seth Freilich is Pajiba’s television editor. He recognizes the irony in complaining about subtlety and bad writing only to load his review up with a bunch of vampire puns. But whatever man, he never claimed to be the next Oscar Wilde.
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Comments
Whatevs. The books are sooo lame, I'm not surprised it's a sucky tv show. Twilight FTW!!!
Edward+Bella=4Eva!!
(I'm done. I swear.)
Posted by: Edward'sGrrl at September 4, 2008 3:00 PM
Ah Seth, even your pan was a fabulous read. But I'm sticking my fingers most of the way in my ears and I'm going to watch this. I'm not sure I have a thing for vampires so much - though I have a serious thing for Gary Oldman as one. But Alan Ball and a campy vampire series together guarantees me to tune in for at least a while. And I completely agree on the SFU series finale.
Posted by: Cindy at September 4, 2008 3:08 PM
Lemme see if I can put this in no uncertain terms:
There is NOTHING here that hasn't been covered by the Forever Knight/Kindred the Embraced/Buffy/Angel Vampiro-Quadrilogy.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 4, 2008 3:09 PM
I feel you on the vampire thing - there just isn't much out there that's good, in terms of vampires and pop culture. Although I recommend watching "the Hunger" if you haven't already, because it has David Bowie, and because Catherine Deneuve totally makes out with Susan Sarandon.
Posted by: s. pisaster at September 4, 2008 3:24 PM
Although I recommend watching "the Hunger" if you haven't already, because it has David Bowie, and because Catherine Deneuve totally makes out with Susan Sarandon.
Posted by: s. pisaster at September 4, 2008 3:24 PM
My Netflix queue has been duly updated.
Posted by: Mella at September 4, 2008 3:41 PM
That Alaskan bitch think she can stand up and talk all kinda shit about O, and motherfuckers not respond? That cunt gonna find out the hard way that you don't write checks your eskimo ass can't cash. Bitch talking about family values, and look where it got her. This election should not be about name calling and other foolishness, people need to learn to respect each other.
Posted by: Pookie at September 4, 2008 3:53 PM
I love Once Bitten. It is so fucking stupid, and therefore one of my favorite movies.
William Sanderson ("Deadwood's" E.B. Farnum)
EEE! E.B.!
Posted by: Julie at September 4, 2008 3:54 PM
Admit it, Seth. It's all because of "Love At First Bite". Or..was it Frank Langella in "Dracula"?
Posted by: kushiro at September 4, 2008 3:54 PM
'The Hunger' also opens with Bauhaus performing "Bela Lugosi's Dead" while Bowie does hot vampire things to some lucky actress...just throwing that out there in case s.pisaster hadn't given enough reason to go out and find that movie asap.
And why hasn't everyone learned not to hire Paquin to portray a Southerner after she sounded more like a stroke victim than anything else in X-Men?!?! wtf!
Posted by: lux at September 4, 2008 3:57 PM
I knew it. I fucking knew that her accent would be crap. Whenever I watched X-Men, all I could hear was that drone "Well, whut kinda nayme is Wull-ver-een?" Like nails on a chalkboard.
This isn't the first review saying that the dialogue is crap, too. Takes stupid camp to new levels. Glad I wasn't planning on seeing it.
Posted by: Brie at September 4, 2008 4:03 PM
That's disappointing. I was hoping that Anna Paquin would be convincing as Sookie, but she really doesn't fit the way the character is described in the book at all.
Was Bubba a character? You mentioned camp, so I thought he might be. (If you haven't read the books, Bubba is actually Elvis. He was turned into a vampire by a fan, only it didn't turn out so well, and now he's kind of slow.)
Posted by: misty at September 4, 2008 4:04 PM
Anna Paquin, lacks any charisma whatsoever, the acting equivalent of an atomic explosion. Meaning she completely obliterates the life out of any scene she's on.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 4, 2008 4:09 PM
Seth, good review. I suggest watching the original Dracula or the Bram Stoker novel. Good stuff.
Pookie, did it occur to you that that's all 'they' have this year? Apart from personal attacks, empty promises and no talk at all (so far) about the moribund state of the economy, what can they offer us to salvage "our tottering state" after eight years of effort?
Do we look like want another 4 years of it?
Personally, I think Biden will savagely beat her in the debates. Neither Miss Alaska nor Mr. Grumpy should be allowed to, as Hunter Thompson put it, "stomp on the terra."
Posted by: The Wanderer at September 4, 2008 4:12 PM
How disappointing. I really love the books.
Still I have a season pass all set up so maybe it'll get better as it goes on...?
yeah yeah Twilight blah blah blah
Barbado: anna paquin was great in the piano
Posted by: mswas at September 4, 2008 4:22 PM
Barbado: anna paquin was great in the piano
Posted by: mswas at September 4, 2008 4:22 PM
That was a looooooooong time ago...
Peaking to young is a bitch.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 4, 2008 4:24 PM
*too
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 4, 2008 4:25 PM
i thought pookie was a spambot
Posted by: mswas at September 4, 2008 4:27 PM
You should check out Fright Night (the second one sucks) if you liked Once Bitten. It's from the 80s as well. Also, Bordello of Blood is a fantastically horrible vamp flick with Dennis Miller (doesn't that make you cringe even more than the thought of getting your neck bitten!?)...
I actually read most of the Anne Rice vampire series when I was 16. I absolutely loved vampires in my post-adolescent, horny as hell phase. Buffy and Angel were also guilty pleasures of mine (although they didn't follow the whole vampire mythology very closely, so I had slight issues with it). Don't forget the Coppola Dracula film either, I absolutely LOVED it...while it put most to sleep I was RIVETED (but I cannot deny that Keanu's role sucked doggy do-do!)...
Posted by: ph at September 4, 2008 4:30 PM
That was a looooooooong time ago...
point taken. I once had a whole comment written out comparing Anna Paquin and Natalie Portman as two actresses who were so phenomenal when young.
but then i deleted it and went back to lurking...
Anyone see the Squid and the Whale? I see Paquin was in that, but did not see it.
Posted by: mswas at September 4, 2008 4:35 PM
when Anna P killed my Rogue, the best baddest soul-sucking tortured mutant to ever love a cajun, she was dead to me. Which must be why I've watched trailers for this and thought "who the hell is that annoying bitchy blonde?" Sigh. I love Vamps too much to miss it, suffered through too many stupid Moonlight episodes, my little heart hardening with every maddeningly stupid episode to turn away from this one. though you'd think I'd learn...
Posted by: lilianna28 at September 4, 2008 4:42 PM
Near Dark is also an excellent vampire movie.
Posted by: Jen Vegas at September 4, 2008 4:46 PM
I'm not a fan of Charlaine Harris' work, so "Tru Blood" holds no interest for me.
Has anyone here ever seen Ultraviolet?
It's a British vampire miniseries, and it's supposed to be top-notch.
Posted by: Rykker at September 4, 2008 4:52 PM
I saw a preview for this and was sad I didn't have HBO and had to wait until I could Netflix it. Now I am less sad.
Also when pookie referred to the "Alaskan bitch", I was initially worried he was referring to me. Than I realized that 1. he has no idea who I am, 2. he doesn't know I live in Alaska, and 3. I'm really a very nice person. Plus side though, if McCain/Palin win, and if Parnell beats Young for Congress, we get a new governor! Yay for us, too bad for the rest of the country!
Posted by: libraryliz at September 4, 2008 4:54 PM
Second on Near Dark as being good vampire times, and worth a watch if only to see a young Bill Paxton fucking everyone's shit up.
The thing about Vampires nowadays is that everyone just keeps grinding the same Gothic/sexy theme that Bram Stoker perfected a century ago. Give me something like Del Toro's Cronos and then we'll talk.
Posted by: Macafee at September 4, 2008 5:02 PM
Bowie does hot vampire things to some lucky actress
Ahem! That was Miss Ann Magnuson.
Posted by: Jay at September 4, 2008 5:14 PM
I hate New Orleans vampires. They just seem wrong, and done to death (I'm talking to you, Ann Rice).
If you want a fun vampire double feature, rent the DVD of Bela Lugosi's "Dracula" with the Spanish version. The Spanish version was filmed at the same time as Lugosi's version, on the same sets, but with a Spanish speaking cast. They would watch Lugosi's dailies, and then say, "We can do better than that," and then they did. To be honest, the Spanish version is better, and the women are sexier. The only downside is Dracula is played by someone who looks EXACTLY like Nicolas Cage, only Spanish.
Also, if you like lesbo vampires, rent "The Vampire Lovers." It's based on the "Camilla" novel which predates "Dracula." It's one of the best Hammer Studio's films, and it stars Peter Cushing as the good doctor, and Ingrid Pitt with her beautiful breasts running around a bath NEKKID! It follows the story very closely.
Posted by: BWeaves at September 4, 2008 5:15 PM
Ahem! That was Miss Ann Magnuson.
Posted by: Jay at September 4, 2008 5:14 PM
------------------------------------------------
I think I just got wood.
*quickly updates Netflix queue*
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 4, 2008 5:24 PM
What about "Innocent Blood" (1992) with Anne Parillaud? That was my favorite. Not great, but still makes me laugh.
Posted by: Scott at September 4, 2008 5:33 PM
The only vampire movie I've ever loved is "A Vampire's Kiss" - Nicholas Cage as an uptight 80's playboy totally losing his shit as he believes he's become a vampire. I've been reviled for my love of pre-90's Nic Cage before but I don't care. If you've seen the movie you know what I'm talking about. The man used to be funny!
"Elva! Elva! Elva! ELVA! ELVA! THERE YOU ARE!"
Posted by: AM at September 4, 2008 5:47 PM
Libraryliz, if my pronouncements offended you I'm sorry it was not my intention. I do not impugn a person's character willy-nilly, I only do so when ample evidence is apparent. I'm just saying can't no bitch talk no shit about B, I've had plenty of ladies under my collar who knew my rules and would not speak unless they had permission. I would have rather my true face not been known because I like to keep my façade a mystery, but that lady made me open my shit up.
Posted by: Pookie at September 4, 2008 6:01 PM
Has anyone seen Martin (1977)? That movie still scares the crap out of me, but it kicked/kicks/will kick the ass out of basically any other "vampire" movie that has been, is, or ever will be made.
Posted by: Carlsbad at September 4, 2008 6:17 PM
My job's been interfering with my Pajiba addiction. Godtopus willing, I'll have time to catch up tomorrow. I did find a quick substitute from dictionary.com with the definition of "defecation reflex" though.
Posted by: DannyOnTrial at September 4, 2008 7:26 PM
I agree with you on vampires on video - I should dig it more, but I never have.
I've read all of the Harris books and they're a lot of fun. The first problem is that Sookie is an unreliable narrator - there is a LOT going on the she refuses to recognize because she's a "good girl" (in denial) and it takes her a good long while to get it.
So not much is going to happen until near the end of the second episode when the plot kicks in.
Anna's cute, though. I never agreed with them writing Rogue so young, but I liked her in it.
Posted by: Meander at September 4, 2008 7:32 PM
Lost Boys ironically? Are you kidding me? I LOVE that film... the two Coreys, Kiefer, Dianne Wiest and that hot bitch who played Star...what's not to love???
Posted by: missh at September 4, 2008 7:35 PM
Yes, Rykker, I've seen Ultraviolet. I thought it was quite good, well worth repeat viewings. It has none of the Bram Stoker Gothic/sexy theme that Macafee complained about. Instead, it's very modern, high tech, and sleek. And it's much more ambiguous about whether vampires are good or evil--it really keeps you guessing until the very end.
Posted by: ariadne at September 4, 2008 7:40 PM
Oooh, Once Bitten. That would make a great Hangover Theatre entry. It's so 80s, all I remember is that everything seemed so pastel, especially during the climax in the funeral parlor.
Pun intended.
Posted by: foursweatervests at September 4, 2008 8:03 PM
Alan Ball's film Towelhead, which he both directed and wrote (based on the novel by Alicia Erian) comes out in limited release on September 12th. I hope the Pajiba team will be reviewing it.
Posted by: Lilly at September 4, 2008 8:12 PM
'The Hunger' also opens with Bauhaus performing "Bela Lugosi's Dead"...
Peter Murphy on-stage is sex on wheels - one of the best shows I've ever seen.
Lilly, I'm really looking forward to that one.
Posted by: Cindy at September 4, 2008 8:41 PM
The only downside is Dracula is played by someone who looks EXACTLY like Nicolas Cage, only Spanish.
You had me right up until there, BWeaves.
And ph, thanks for reminding me about Fright Night! My mom and I used to watch that one all the time. I haven't seen it in ages.... time for a rental!
Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at September 4, 2008 10:49 PM
I'm with you AM. Vampire's Kiss dominates. I can see Nic jumping up on the desk now - ELLLLLVVVVAAAAAA!!!
And also, Dracula Dead and Loving It fucking rocks. End of story.
I read all of the Ann Rice books but I found them rather boring. I read all of the Christopher Pike one's as well (The Last Vampire I through XVI or something ridiculous like that). You know, the guy who did grown-up young adult horror books with R. L. Stine (besides Goosebumps people). They mostly had titles involving Prom, Football Games, Car Crashes, Babysitting, Binge Drinking, Premarital Sex, Ventriloquism, the usual. Everything happened That Night and all of it involved High School. Christopher Moore's are entertaining (starting with Bloodsucking Fiends), but as we've discussed earlier :cough: Stephenie Meyer sucks. Balls.
...I need to read more real books.
Posted by: Kash at September 4, 2008 11:03 PM
I also grew up watching Once Bitten and I will still watch it if it's on randomly. I can't not watch it. Lauren Hutton as fucking hot vamp? Check. Weird 80s fashion? Check. Hilarious dance sequence with a song guaranteed to ear-worm you for life? Check. And might I add that Jim Carrey is dancing? And then he plays his leg like a guitar.
Oh god, the song from that scene is already playing in my brain. Stand back! He belongs to me. Stand back! He's my private property. Stand back! I'm tellin you one last time, the boy is mine!
For LIFE, I tell you.
Also, Fright Night is one of the few movies that zooms in on a freaky vampire claw very slowly and sexily pushing play on a tape deck. It's all very elaborate and drawn out. And fucking hilarious. I mean, come on, freaking Marcy Darcy turns into a vampire/slut/love slave! Why would you not want to watch that?!?
Posted by: Sharon at September 4, 2008 11:41 PM
Nobody who's read the books thinks that Anna Paquin was a good choice for Sookie. Are we all going to be glued to our TVs on Sunday night anyway, texting commentary to each other and scarfing down pizza? Yes. And we might even give each other pedicures if things get boring.
Posted by: Kris at September 5, 2008 3:20 AM
Bah, of course no one mentions "Let The Right One In" by John Ajvide Lindqist (Or "Let Me In" for all you Americans)
My god.
That book is everything that other vampire novels/TV shows/movies should be. The tagline for my copy is "A vampire love story", which somewhat deterred me at first, but holy hell it's everything but. There's none of that sappy gothic unrequited love bullshit. It's the most profoundly twisted, realistic and suspenseful vampire novel I've ever read (this coming from someone who has read A LOT of vampire fiction). And Lindqvist is surprisingly funny in real life, despite that book giving me nightmares. Damn, I can't wait for his next one, "Handling The Dead", to be translated. That one's about zombies!
You've given us too much shlocky *cough*American*cough* vampire crap this week, Pajiba! I demand a review for something better!
Posted by: Cookie at September 5, 2008 3:49 AM
I love vampires. To a freakish degree. So much, in fact, that I've never been completely, 100% satisfied by any film or TV show remotely relating to them. My expectations are high, dammit, and this show already looked fuck-ass cheesy from the ads.
What was that part? Where the guy bares his fangs and blond Anna Paquin replies, "I think we should see other people!" or some shit like that?!? ..... just, no. *shudder*
But Kash, I actually am quite fond of Christopher Pike's The Last Vampire series. Me and them were like *this* in middle school.
Posted by: monkey_b at September 5, 2008 4:03 AM
I'm going to watch True Blood, although I thought the pilot was all over the place in terms of tone, music, writing, editing, acting, pretty much everything.
One of the most underrated vampire movies is The Wisdom of Crocodiles with (early) Jude Law. It's probably the best thing he's ever done.
Posted by: emotionalpedant at September 5, 2008 4:21 AM
Haven't had time to read this yet, but Robin McKinley's Sunshine was quite a nice take on buffy the vampire slayer.
Posted by: ChrisD at September 5, 2008 4:45 AM
Cookie,
damn you! Now I've had to order that book from Amazon!
Kidding. It sounds like just my kind of book, and they had it really cheap second-hand. Thanks for the recommendation.
Ooh, Fright Night! I used to love that film. Totally 80's, over the top, and yet oddly sexy. Who'dve thought a vampire who looked like a Thunderbirds puppet could be hot?
Posted by: Tarn at September 5, 2008 5:23 AM
I've seen Ultraviolet. I thought it was quite good,
What language is this written in? It looks like English, and yet, and yet...
And I do love me some Robin McKinley, but I couldn't get twenty pages into Sunshine without being bored to tears.
Posted by: twig at September 5, 2008 11:08 AM
that's too bad, the books are silly as hell but I really enjoy them. I was a bit trepidatious when I heard Anna Paquin had been cast as Sookie, I really hope the rest of the cast can salvage it.
Posted by: ella at September 5, 2008 12:34 PM
that's too bad, the books are silly as hell but I really enjoy them. I was a bit trepidatious when I heard Anna Paquin had been cast as Sookie, I really hope the rest of the cast can salvage it.
And Sunshine rocked my world, I love that book. Hope she gets around to doing a follow-up one of these days.
Posted by: ella at September 5, 2008 12:35 PM
shit, sorry for the double post.
Posted by: ella at September 5, 2008 12:37 PM
twig, are you thinking about the Milla Jovovich mess or the British one with Jack Davenport whose voice is like caramelised sex and thus can do no wrong as long as he's talking and oh god I need to go watch some Coupling right now? Because the latter was cool.
Posted by: Cookie at September 5, 2008 12:56 PM
twig, are you thinking about the Milla Jovovich mess or the British one with Jack Davenport whose voice is like caramelised sex and thus can do no wrong
Ah, my fault, I did not realize there were two. I am certainly thinking about the former (even though I have tried to expunge those thoughts from my memories - demons begone!!!)
I will now have to go check out the latter, seems.
Posted by: twig at September 5, 2008 1:30 PM
Ah, Once Bitten. Probably the best excuse to get laid ever:
Girl: "Let's just be friends."
Guy: "If I don't lose my virginity, I will become that vampire's love slave for eternity."
Girl "Quick, pull it out and get in the coffin!"
That isn't the exact dialogue, but that is the gist of the romantic arc.
Awesome.
Posted by: Vermillion at September 5, 2008 1:33 PM
I inexplicably love the movie "My Best Friend is a Vampire" with Robert Sean Leonard. I don't think they even have it on Netflix. They don't have Angus either. What gives?
Posted by: Lobstersurprise at September 5, 2008 3:19 PM
ChrisD!!!!!!!!!
I love that book, Sunshine. Robin McKinley is one of my favorite wacked out authors.
I now have to re-read Sunshine.
Posted by: Rachael at September 5, 2008 3:48 PM
I tried to watch The Wisdom of Crocodiles, but I just didn't get it. SPOILERS:
Did he literally kill women when he came? And what the hell was that bloody crystal? Did it come out of his penis?
Posted by: Brie at September 6, 2008 3:17 AM
SO hamhanded!
"People different than us are good good good!"
I just want ONE intelligent southerner in film. Just ONE to make that diversity quota.
Paquin's acting is line by line, without context to what is said before or after she opens her mouth.
Posted by: Tanna at September 7, 2008 11:59 PM
I loved it.
Posted by: Sarah at September 8, 2008 2:47 AM
Just saw this last night and I agree with Seth. Meh, with the potential to improve. Paquin wasn't quite as bad as Seth says, but she wasn't good either. Throughout the hour nearly all the characters, not knowing about her "gift" kept calling Sookie retarded. By the end of the first hour, I was thinking they were probably right after all. That's what bad writing and deer-in-the-headlights acting will do for ya.
I'll watch a few more episodes, but it needs to improve quickly to get a Season Pass.
Posted by: Ed Newman at September 8, 2008 3:17 PM
I'm surprised you didn't mention the worst part of the pilot, which was the two ridiculously written black characters. They were much more offense than any gay parallel IMO. I just finished watching the second episode of True Blond on Surfthechannel.net, and luckily the two caricatures (the gay guy and Tara) were toned down quite a bit from the first episode.
Regarding Sookie...Paquin hasn't changed her acting style very much since she was a child, so either it is still Oscar worthy or I'm just used to it by now.
Posted by: Daisy at September 10, 2008 12:13 AM
I love me some vampires, and was a little surprised that no one has mentioned the 1971 film "Let's Scare Jessica to Death." Damn, that shook me up as a kid, and there are still some scenes that my mind pulls up when given the proper prompt (like the empty chair rocking on the porch). It's actually one of those movies I'm afraid to catch on cable, for fear that I'll be disappointed if it doesn't live up to my memories.
Posted by: boscobarbell at September 11, 2008 10:17 AM
I guess this might be why Laurel K Hamilton decided to do the comic book thing instead of turning her books into film. I loved the Sookie books. It took me a while to like her because all her "good girl" shit was getting on my nerves but I've grown to love her. I haven't seen any of the series yet but I'm such a vampire fan that I know I will sooner or later. I guess I'll stop wishing that Laurel would get off her high horse and let them make movies.
Posted by: Kytherea at September 13, 2008 9:10 AM
Well, I've read the books and they were okeish. Being the early Anita Blake books fan, I found the Southern Vampire way too unoriginal. The leading character girl actually was kinda stupid and that's why I think the TV performance by Paquin is matching. Bill is very much alike too.
But the opening credits and song, well, they are a masterpiece, they set the atmosphere and the show itself is not on a par with them.
Posted by: ZzaRaZza at September 18, 2008 9:36 AM
Seth, I think this show deserves your re-evaluation, at least at season's end. I hope you have continued to watch.
I agree the first episode (the first 3 really) were fairly lackluster, but the show has really settled in and become incredibly entertaining: funny, dramatic, smart, thoughtful, romantic, scary, sexy; This is what Ball claimed the show to be and we all knew he was capable of creating such.
A little skepticism and a tinge of disappointment at first, but Ball has yet again delivered. This show is fantastic and it just seems to get better and better. Truly addictive. I am so glad now that I stuck it out.
Would not you agree?
Posted by: nusch at November 13, 2008 1:57 AM
Seth, I think this show deserves your re-evaluation, at least at season's end. I hope you have continued to watch.
I agree the first episode (the first 3 really) were fairly lackluster, but the show has really settled in and become incredibly entertaining: funny, dramatic, smart, thoughtful, romantic, scary, sexy; This is what Ball claimed the show to be and we all knew he was capable of creating such.
A little skepticism and a tinge of disappointment at first, but Ball has yet again delivered. This show is fantastic and it just seems to get better and better. Truly addictive. I am so glad now that I stuck it out.
Would not you agree?
Posted by: nusch at November 13, 2008 1:58 AM
Seth, I think this show deserves your re-evaluation, at least at season's end.
I would agree that the first episode (first 3 really) were fairly lackluster, but the show has now really settled in and carved its own place in a very cramped genre. It truly is unique and entertaining; Funny, campy, dramatic, smart, thoughtful, romantic and scary.
This is everything Ball claimed of the series before it arrived, and we all knew he was capable of creating such.
A bit of skepticism and tinge of disappointment at first, but Ball has delivered again. This show is absolutely fantastic. It's addictive, and it just keeps getting better and better. I am glad that I stuck with it.
Would not you agree?
Posted by: nusch at November 13, 2008 2:20 AM
See, now I disagree with the need for a re-evaluation. Granted I've continued to watch because I want to know what happens, but I think the performances of Sookie and Bill continue to be God-awful.
Posted by: JT at November 14, 2008 7:56 PM
A lot of people I know which are fans of the show seem to think the acting is terrible also whereas I actually find it to be good. Not in the beginning but they have all gotten better as the season goes on.
Posted by: nusch at November 17, 2008 7:12 PM
