You Just Keep Me Hanging On: Torchwood Trepidation, Tribulation and Trailers

You Just Keep Me Hanging On: "Torchwood" Trepidation, Tribulation and Trailers

By Cindy Davis | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (18)

Most of us have trepidations over this whole Starz-is-taking-control-of-Torchwood-and-bringing-it-to-America thing and with good reason. Almost any foreign show that’s been brought stateside has paled in comparison. And this isn’t just any old, by the book import; this is a whackadoodie semi-revamp that will include original actors and characters, intermixed with new folks. Whenever I think about it, I begin to understand people trying out new meds: up and down and all over the place. I feel like Kramer when he was freaked out by something and he’d make lots of hand motions as his voice reverted to puberty. And all this new publicity isn’t helping out much. Some of the pictures of Captain Jack Harkness make my heart sing and I long to run toward him, but then I see pics of the new people and most of them look dull and uninspired. The latest trailer, set to Lou Reed’s Perfect Day is, well, kinda perfect. But then Starz put out their slow-talk version, explained everything out to the point of distraction and I’m right back to square one again.

But hey hey, Captain Jack, meet me down by the railroad track, because you do still look hot:

Here’s Gwen with her cute, little baby:

And Lauren Ambrose, who’ll play a woman who looks like a high class hooker (with the name to match: Jilly Kitzinger).

Bill Pullman is some nasty criminal sentenced to death, but because of “Miracle Day,” he’s apparently hanging around. I think that’s his confused soul in the background there, unable to cross over.

Here’s Arlene Tur as a surgeon who is either depressed or bored; either way, it’s worrisome.

The new Torchwood gang: Jack refuses to look us in the eye, Mekhi Phifer is the bewildered, crack CIA man and Gwen is all worried looks and “I’d rather be anywhere else.”

Finally, we have the Starz editorial entitled, “Poseurs with Guns.”

A little Lou makes everything seem better:

Alternatively, if you’re high or a mildly retarded, watch this one. I think it has a Disney ride narrator:

I don’t know what’s going to happen with this thing…

← Is There a Correlation Between the Shape of a Woman's Lips and Her Ability to Have an Orgasm? No, Jackass | Pajiba After Dark 6/29/11 →

Comments

I do.

I'm going to get my hopes up only to have them violently crushed and all my fond memories of Torchwood are going to be destroyed.

This is going to be brutal. I'm really hoping I'm wrong, but deep in my bones I know...this is gonna b.b.b.b.b.blow.

Posted by: Uncle JR at June 29, 2011 5:12 PM

I'm more worried about Russell T Davies mediocre writing than any involvement Starz will have on the new series. Torchwood didn't become decent until Children of Earth and even then it still has it problems.

Posted by: dragonking at June 29, 2011 5:13 PM

I think I waicted a porno starring a girl named Jilly Kitzinger once. It had slightly less sex than a typical Torchwood episode.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at June 29, 2011 5:19 PM

i'll be hopeful until the shit invariably hits the fan. sigh.

Posted by: splinter at June 29, 2011 5:21 PM

*siiiigh*

I despise Lauren Ambrose and her 'tude in EVERYTHING so we have a problem here from the get-go. Then we still have Gwen, that's strike two. And we finish the crapfecta by yankeefying the whole mess. Where does The Doctor angle fit into it? Are they just going to forget?

I have a bad feeling about this.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at June 29, 2011 5:39 PM

I keep telling myself I'm not going to watch, but then I see another picture of Captain Jack and a little part of me says "you'll watch anything he's in".

Posted by: Three-nineteen at June 29, 2011 5:43 PM

Nope. No.

For once, I am going to do the smart thing and run far, far away before yet another show breaks my heart by turning into a cesspool of suck (I'm looking at you, How I Met Your Mother). Granted, it is a bit easier than usual because aside from Jack, all my favorite characters are dead.

However, Cap'n Jack is looking mighty fine. Hi, Captain! You should run far, far away from this inevitible hot mess with me.

Posted by: elleyezee at June 29, 2011 6:04 PM

Eeeek! Everyone looks bored. I miss the old cast now. Lauren Ambrose looks like she's had a million dollars worth of plastic surgery. She can't be older than me for chrissakes. Why she so shiny? I heart Captain Jack though, still super HOT!

Posted by: Gigi at June 29, 2011 6:53 PM

I just love that Gwen's wee little baby has that adorable fluffy blanket and fluffy ear muffs combo protecting it's wee little hearing while mummy's blasting away with her giant fucking gun.

Posted by: ScienceGeek at June 29, 2011 7:23 PM

Veronica Mars should be in this. That would be cool...what is her naaaaame!? I can't remember. Kristin Bell, right?

I'm going to watch it...but I know I'll be disappointed.

Posted by: Candee at June 29, 2011 7:36 PM

Bill Pullman plays a convicted pedophile and murderer. Yeah RTD went there, after making Jack a child killer he decided he needed to one up himself.

I am not going to watch, it just doesn't seem to be Torchwood. Okay maybe I might watch the first ep cause it has Rhys and PC Andy in it, but when the costume designer came out and said that she made Jack's coat more 'lightweight and modern' for him I just threw my hands up in the air. FFS it's a WW2 coat it's not supposed to look modern, that's the whole idea that he hasn't changed his look. *rolls eyes*

Posted by: noo at June 29, 2011 11:30 PM

I'm surprised they haven't changed Gwen's furren accent.

Posted by: Odnon at June 29, 2011 11:53 PM

And, sure, Captain Jack might not be able to die, but this might just kill me.

Posted by: Odnon at June 29, 2011 11:55 PM

.... am I hallucinating, or did I just see Sierra from Dollhouse in the Lou Reed trailer?

*rewatches*

Hot damn! I'm definitely watching this now :D

Posted by: UnderTheDark at June 30, 2011 4:03 AM

Jack. Ten. Spike. The hot-men-in-long-coats trifecta. If only the three of them could be on screen at the same time . . .

Posted by: Lauren at June 30, 2011 4:57 AM

"Bill Pullman plays a convicted pedophile and murderer. Yeah RTD went there, after making Jack a child killer he decided he needed to one up himself."

Jack's a what? I need to start paying more attention.

"I am not going to watch, it just doesn't seem to be Torchwood"

Thank goodness for that. The less like Torch-"exploitative and slightly creepy sex all in your face"-wood it is the better. I think when they settled down and stopped beating the "Look! It's ADULT. Dr Who but with SEX!!!" drum so loudly the series went from something I was almost embarrassed to watch, to a servicable and entertaining series.

Posted by: Ender at June 30, 2011 7:01 AM

Yeah in COE Jack kills his own grandson to save the world and it was revealed that earlier he had offered up children to the aliens to make them go away and leave earth alone (under instruction from the government but he didn't really protest too much or at all).

And that second part is the Torchwood that I loved. It was cracky, it was fun but it had engaging characters who you didn't always like or respect but you still wanted to watch and know. It had the 'englishness' about it in terms of not bashing the audience over the head with information like most US shows do because they think the audience are nothing but goldfish. This seems to be more the US style and not the Torchwood with it's humour and heart that I miss.

Posted by: noo at June 30, 2011 10:02 PM

The people who say they aren't going to watch because they assume it will be bad are the same people who don't date or break it off early, just in case they are rejected/dumped. You poor, poor things.

Posted by: Sara H at June 30, 2011 11:34 PM

Pajiba

Pajiba: Reviews, Commentary, Angst

You Just Keep Me Hanging On: "Torchwood" Trepidation, Tribulation and Trailers

Comments