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Because You Are All Beautiful Snowflakes

By TK | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (64)



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I love you all.

Graciously yours,

TK









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Comments

Screw you , TK!!! And the horse that rode in on you!

Posted by: OlorinGrayhame at July 29, 2010 10:34 AM

Oof... so glad I don't have kids...

Posted by: Slash at July 29, 2010 10:35 AM

I don't think TK loves us at all.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverdouche at July 29, 2010 10:35 AM

So..

When is Dustin's funeral?

Posted by: magiel at July 29, 2010 10:40 AM

Will there be a Pajiba, Monday, if each of the site contributors is forced to post one of these dreadful items?

Posted by: lubeg at July 29, 2010 10:42 AM

Fuck you Hollywood. You are raping some rather fond childhood memories with this sucktastic live action cockgobblin' shit.

Posted by: supafly at July 29, 2010 10:42 AM

Is that Anna Faris? What did she do to her face?

How is it possible that the animation/CGI looks worse than Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

Oh, so that's what happened to Ed.

Oh my god if you play it once and don't stop it it just keeps going on loop!!!

Posted by: Carrie at July 29, 2010 10:44 AM

They can screen this thing in my ass, then when it's over I can shit in the audience's mouths. Then they can eat that shit. Yeah, you eat that shit good you dumb little fuckers.

Posted by: Kballs at July 29, 2010 10:49 AM

Has Anna Faris had some work done? Her face looks strangely bloated and puffy.

Dan Ackroyd is rather giddy in that intro. Must've been one hell of a paycheck.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at July 29, 2010 10:49 AM

I've never wanted to get rick roll'd more in my life.

Posted by: Fredo at July 29, 2010 10:50 AM

I imagine the whole movie feels like that serial fence-posting.

Posted by: Harry Coverts at July 29, 2010 10:53 AM

I am not going to click that arrow. Sorry.

This day belongs to The Donut.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at July 29, 2010 10:54 AM

Oh, thank God it's in 3D. Thank God.

Posted by: superasente at July 29, 2010 10:54 AM

Hm. Probably not a very good movie.

Posted by: Jay at July 29, 2010 10:55 AM

I AM a beautiful snowflake.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at July 29, 2010 10:56 AM

When I was 5-years old, my extended family decided that we would all gather together for Easter sunday at my grandparents' farm. In the morning, everyone got dressed up and went to Easter mass except for my grandpa, who was supposed to stay behind and hide the eggs for our hunt when we returned.

Instead, he turned on the TV and fell asleep to The Smurfs.

When all of us church-goers returned, my grandma sent all 12 of us grandchildren out with baskets to find the eggs. By this time, my grandpa was awake, but didn't tell anyone about his misdeed, as to not provoke my grandma's wrath.

So we scoured their 3.5 acres of property. We looked in the stalls of the barn. We went down to the creek, avoiding poison ivy. We ducked under the electric fence into the pastures. None of us found any eggs.

My grandpa watched on the entire time, pointing out places we should check. But we always came back empty-handed.

After over an hour, everyone had given up. Then my grandpa called us over to the side of the barn and showed us all a "bear-print" in the dirt. He said the bears must have gotten to all the eggs.

The man came clean to us kids years later. And I've managed to forgive him. But not the bears. Never the bears.

Posted by: penelope at July 29, 2010 10:59 AM

Is Dan Ackroyd playing Yogi Bear by way of Dan Ackroyd?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at July 29, 2010 11:03 AM

I meant to say Rodney Dangerfield.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at July 29, 2010 11:03 AM

Nonetheless, you are STILL a beautiful snowflake.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at July 29, 2010 11:04 AM

The greatest threat to America is indeed bears. 3D bears voiced by Dan Ackroyd. And don't think I didn't see the start of a musical number in that trailer. This is really the Old Ones movie isn't it? Midway you go insane when they show their true faces?

Posted by: Mrcreosote at July 29, 2010 11:06 AM

It's not even a good impression... Why not get a voice actor? Dan Ackroyd doesn't need more money to blow on crystal skull vodka.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at July 29, 2010 11:06 AM

Finally! A god to honest fun looking kids movie. And the return of Dan Akryod!!

Looks like fun. Can't wait for this!!!

Maybe this will finally pave the way for the plethora of Hanna Barbera adaptations we should have gotten years ago!!!

Could you imagine Huckleberry Hound in a Mo-cap 3-d Adventure film starring Nick Cage? Or Magilla Gorilla with the talent of Larry the Cable Guy?!

I mean, we are now this close, this fucking close to THE JETSON'S Live Action!!!

WACKY RACERS directed by the WACHOWSKIS!

Hooray human life! Hooray culture! Hooray nuclear capabilities for Iran!

Posted by: Brian at July 29, 2010 11:08 AM

Fuck! That was supposed to be Mrs. Skipper. I'm cut off. No more posts until I have a caffeine IV drip!

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at July 29, 2010 11:08 AM

(all comments above were intended in a sarcastic tone and in no way are an accurate portrayal of my thought process and opinion of human life, it's worth, and nuclear war.)

Posted by: Brian at July 29, 2010 11:09 AM

Wha..

No Nuclear war?

SadFace

Posted by: magiel at July 29, 2010 11:13 AM

Just...why?

WHY did I watch that all the way through?

Why this sudden self loathing?

WHY GOD WHY?

Posted by: figgy at July 29, 2010 11:14 AM

"Serial fence-posting" is my new favorite phrase.

Posted by: BWeaves at July 29, 2010 11:14 AM

I remember when I used to have a childhood. All my favorite things weren't the bastardized abominations they've become. It was fun, and there was laughter, and celebrities were honored and revered and didn't do shitty movies that are crappy reimaginings of their own beloved childhood and famous people were famous for actually doing something worthwhile and not having their own fucking reality show showing their inane life and mediocre (at best) "talents" to the rest of the world.

Posted by: Kargoyle at July 29, 2010 11:15 AM

And Penelope's grandpa is awesome.

Posted by: BWeaves at July 29, 2010 11:17 AM

Hooray nuclear capabilities for Iran!

Now there's a sentence I never thought I'd applaud, but... *slow clap*

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at July 29, 2010 11:18 AM

I don't understand :-( Why is this happening? And why am I being tricked into looking at it? Is there demand for a Yogi Bear movie in 3D? Did the some demon whisper it to a studio exec while the slept? Who wants this? Why does Dan Akroyd want this? I don't understand?!?

Posted by: Valerie at July 29, 2010 11:18 AM

Oh, Tom Cavanaugh. You're being in this might well be the saddest part about this tragic—FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKING FUCK WHY GOD WHY DOES THIS MOVIE EXIST?!

Posted by: Sefa at July 29, 2010 11:18 AM

And...I don't know. I don't feel this doing anything to my childhood. I hated just about every single Hannah-Barbera cartoon when I was a kid (I liked the...evil dude with the mustache and the dog. I can't even remember his name though). They were pretty horribly animated and all the hands pointed backwards when they walked--what the HELL was up with that? And Yogi was always a giant asshole. So, just let him fail. I don't care. Always hated him anyway.

Posted by: figgy at July 29, 2010 11:20 AM

Good place for all bi'g and t'a'll sing'les, please check: ---BigTalls ,, C'o "M ---- ,More fun waiting for you... Meet me - shirleylv23

Posted by: kyle at July 29, 2010 11:29 AM

If you imagine that the pie at the 1:00 minute mark is a knife, this was almost worth watching.

Posted by: jM at July 29, 2010 11:31 AM

I'd love to hear what Bill Murray has to say about this.

Posted by: Katie at July 29, 2010 11:55 AM

The scariest/worst part is Dan Akroyd at the beginning introducing it, why is he talkscreaming at me???

Posted by: Blinky at July 29, 2010 11:57 AM

Ha ha, his ass gets smacked a lot.

Tom Cavanaugh FTW! I hope this movie buys him something sweet that he can then piss all over when he drinks himself to tears over his life choices.

Posted by: katy at July 29, 2010 12:19 PM

Figgy, Dick Dastardly was the guy you're thinking of. He was of course a ripoff of Snidley Whiplash. Muttley was his dog.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at July 29, 2010 12:26 PM

I don't know what the budget for this travesty was, but at least $10,000 was spent on Vaseline for Tom Cavanaugh's face.

Posted by: C. C. Devine at July 29, 2010 12:26 PM

While I am fairly used to having childhood memories raped (after all, Rule 34 is alive and well on FurAffinity), Hollywood adds sand and ground glass to the Vaseline.

Posted by: The Wanderer at July 29, 2010 12:58 PM

WTF is the point of getting Justin Timberlake to do a voice, if the voice isn't going to sound like Justin Timberlake? What's the point of getting Dan Aykroyd to do a piss-poor imitation of Yogi Bear? Scratch that; what's the point of getting Dan Aykroyd to do ANYTHING? What's the point in making it 3-D when the animation isn't even good enough for 2-D? When is Anna Faris going to pick a good movie for a change? What the fuck is the point of a making a trailer for a comedy and not putting a single laugh in it? AAAAAAAAGAGAAAAGGGHHH RAAAGE PAIN KILL KILL KILL KILL DIIIIIIIIIIEEEEE

Posted by: Quiet Wyatt at July 29, 2010 1:00 PM

I refuse to click on that trailer! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!!!!

Hollywood has fucked with so many of beloved childhood memories that I simply cannot STAND to see one more bent over the back of couch and ram-jammed, without the courtesy of a reach-around.

Fuck you, Hollywood. You are so bereft of original ideas that you continue to reach back and either recycle movies that have been remade to death, or you have the NERVE to defile that happy place in our memories, where we are still 8 years old, watching Saturday morning cartoons with a half-eaten Pop-Tart hanging out of our mouths, before we go out and ride our Big Wheel up and down the driveway. Fuck you in your unimaginative asshole. With no lube. And no money on the dresser after.

Posted by: dammitjanet at July 29, 2010 1:04 PM

So when is penelope writing a book of memoirs? Because I would read it. And love it. And stain its pages with tears of laughter.

Posted by: Patty O'Green at July 29, 2010 1:29 PM

1. Figgy - Thank you for coming out against Hannah Barbera. I now feel comfortable doing so, myself, knowing that I'm in good company.

My name is Lubeg and I hate Hannah Barbera cartoons. Every. Single. God. Awful. One. Of. Them. May apologies to those of you who adore them to this day, I respect your opinion to like them. But me, I hate them. They just never appealed to me.

2. Penelope - Are we related? Because, no joke, pretty much the same thing happened to my family, one Easter, less the barn. My grandparents didn't have a barn. Well, that and I was already too old to be egg hunting and was "in" on the whole thing when my grandfather realized his mistake.

Posted by: lubeg at July 29, 2010 1:38 PM

Dude, how do you hate Captain Caveman?!

Posted by: Anna von Beaverdouche at July 29, 2010 1:41 PM

OW. my head just ACTUALLY hit my desk.

Posted by: gp at July 29, 2010 1:52 PM

Mostly because I forgot about him. I'll give Captain Caveman some leeway. He was kinda cool.

Posted by: lubeg at July 29, 2010 1:52 PM

I've never seen a Yogi Bear cartoon.

There.

I've said it.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at July 29, 2010 1:55 PM

Usually I'm sad when I check this site at work & can't watch the trailers. Today, I am thankful to my evil office overlords for forbidding me to watch.

Posted by: badkittyuno at July 29, 2010 2:06 PM

Lubeg, they WERE all awful. Yogi was specially painful to watch.

Posted by: figgy at July 29, 2010 2:08 PM

The only "Yogi" reimagining we needed was John Kricfalusi's "Boo Boo Runs Wild". If you hate Yogi and haven't seen THAT, you need to look it up. It's fantastic.

Posted by: lubeg at July 29, 2010 2:38 PM

Here's another great (well, traumatic) Easter story (not mine):
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/year-easter-bunny-died.html

Posted by: badkittyuno at July 29, 2010 3:19 PM

At first I was thinking $100 million. But then I saw that is was going to be in 3D and I had to bump it up to $150 million. Though the more I think about it the more I might be underestimating the box office draw of completely stupid animated shit in 3D.

Posted by: Dave at July 29, 2010 3:52 PM

*dies*

Posted by: Mick J at July 29, 2010 3:54 PM

Lubeg: If your grandparents' house is filled with tie-dyed sheepskins and 1/8 of your family could be legally considered dwarves, then yes, we are related.

Posted by: penelope at July 29, 2010 4:15 PM

No sir, I didn't like it.

Posted by: AlwaysConfused at July 29, 2010 6:44 PM

Also, is Dan Aykroyd on coke these days?

Posted by: AlwaysConfused at July 29, 2010 6:52 PM

Anyone remember when Dan Ackroyd was still funny? Did he get busted by the IRS like Willie Nelson, or do the producers have pictures of him with little children?

Posted by: duquesne_pdx at July 29, 2010 6:57 PM

I love Tom Cavanaugh and Anna Faris.

That's about all I've got.

Posted by: whatBENwatches at July 29, 2010 9:34 PM

TK is a sadistic, Scotch-soaked asshole who likes to inflict pain upon us under the guise of entertainment. He should be a Hollywood executive.

Posted by: Uriah Creep at July 29, 2010 10:16 PM

So I finally took my kids to see Despicable Me today. My son got WAY too excited when he saw the trailer for this movie. Ugh. But hey, I'd much rather see Yogi than that other trailer we saw - Alpha & Omega.

And why the hell does everything need to be in 3D?

Posted by: benniesma at July 29, 2010 11:36 PM

1. Ryan Reynolds....go to hell. You go to hell and you die.

2. Ed...follow.

3. Aykroyd does the worst fucking Yogi Bear ever. My left ball could do a better voiceover. And my left ball has absolutely NO talent other than making shaft jam.

Posted by: PissBoy at July 30, 2010 8:48 AM

TK,

You cannot POSSIBLY love us if you're linking this trailer.

I feel you are dishonest in your intentions, good sir.

Good day to you! I SAID GOOD DAY!!

Posted by: Green Lantern at July 30, 2010 2:10 PM


















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