Yeah I'm Sure Swords Will Do the Trick: The Wolverine Trailer
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Yeah I'm Sure Swords Will Do the Trick: The Wolverine Trailer

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Trailers | May 2, 2013 | Comments ()


It's critical that they specify that this is the Wolverine, and not just any of the run of the mill variety of wolverines who go around defending rural high schools from Communists.

And hey it looks like they gave him a sword in that header picture, which is fantastic, because a flaw in the character has always been his lack of bladed weapons.

Has there been an actor to so thoroughly become associated with a popular character like Hugh Jackman has with Wolverine? To the point that it is almost inconceivable to see someone else play the role? I mean even though it hasn't been explicit, they're realistically on like the fourth reboot of the X-Men franchise at this point given that they keep making movies that at most half-assed acknowledge the existence of the others, and they still keep dragging Jackman out of whatever musical he's hiding out in and duct tape claws to his hands. Not that I'm complaining.

Here's the trailer:

So, I want to like this. Because the character is fun, and Jackman perfectly embodies him, and Christopher McQuarrie wrote the screenplay, and the story actually looks like a departure from the usual comic book movie formula, and said story is based on a reputedly fantastic run of the comic book ... but that trailer is all kinds of lame.

Even ignoring the cut and paste stuff from that last atrocity of a Wolverine movie, there appears to be lots of running and sword fighting, including what appears to be an exact replication of the prelude to the O-Ren fight scene in Kill Bill. And a giant robot with a sword that Jackman must have borrowed from Real Steel.

Let's just say that no matter how well-trained a group of super ninja swordsmen are, they're a slight bit laughable in an assault on the famed Wolverine. He instantly heals wounds, has invincible bones, and his claws cut through steel. I know I'm overthinking this, but this is up there with cavalry charging a tank brigade as far as bright ideas even a Canadian amnesiac would think are futile.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • black.and.tan

    Not a robot, I think that's silver samurai's armor but totally over done. I don't have high hopes for this franchise despite the excellent source material.

  • Maguita NYC

    Do not find this trailer impressive or promising. This Wolverine is so far removed from the sly and unscrupulously alluring original in the first X-Men.

  • Dragonchild

    Character is the only thing Wolverine has going for him. Because fast healing is such a vague superpower that only fanbois will try to define, it's hard to build dramatic tension unless it's properly established beforehand how he can die. Attack him with some arbitrary weapon and it's anyone's guess as to whether or not it's effective. Otherwise there's not much to the story besides turning it into a wangst-fest.

  • Mr_Zito


  • Guest

    Meh... Needs more Silver Samurai.

  • tamatha_uhmelmahaye

    I can't figure out to whom that trailer is supposed to appeal.

  • Nicolae

    I was hoping it would be Shiva so I could feel there was an actual threat, but of course not.

  • I believe that "giant robot with a sword" is actually Silver Samurai, who is not a robot at all.

  • God Of Bal-Sagoth

    Beat me to it. Yes, I'm pretty sure that is one Kenuichio Harada.

  • kirivinokur

    I think he meant Voltes V. At least he should have meant Voltes V.

  • zeke_the_pig

    How I love picturing my Wolverine:

  • NateMan

    I love it. But I have difficulty with the idea Wolvie would spend that much time drinking beer.

    A. He's a badass. Badasses drink whisky. Beer is for pussies.

    B. That kind of metabolism and he can still get drunk off beer? American beer in cans no less? Please. He'd have to mainline the stuff.

  • God Of Bal-Sagoth

    Yes, but he's also Canadian, and they drink a lot of beer. Plus, have you ever tried Canadian whiskey? It's atrophied moose urine.

  • zeke_the_pig

    Yeah, you're right. Certainly on point B anyway.
    I'd have to contest the last part of point A, but only because I'm Czech and we have beer flowing through our veins. And our electrical wiring. And our sewage. And our internet.
    ...the point is beer is awesome. And proper beer can approach Badass. But you're certainly right that whiskey is almost always Badass. I'll drink to that. Might even put a bit of whiskey in my beer.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    Also, Whiskey is distilled beer. Look it up, it's true.

  • NateMan

    I do enjoy beer myself - the good stuff, home-brewed or the good store bought. You're right, I exaggerated. Whisky is still better, though. And way more badass.

  • NateMan

    I don't know... If you're dealing with a guy who can heal anything, a bladed weapon to lop off his head is probably your best way to go. Personally I'd do that AFTER dropping a giant bomb on his head\hitting him with a flamethrower\etc. But it's like the Highlander movies. Why didn't they just SHOOT the other immortals before going in to lop off their heads? Is there a rulebook for being an immortal badass?

    And (in case there's anyone left who doesn't know at this point) the sword is because he trains as a samurai. He wants to leave the animal part of him, the part almost defined by his claws, behind him. I know, I know, I'm reading too much into it. But despite his overexposure by this point, Wolverine remains a great character, and I can't help but have high hopes for this movie.

  • Dude his spine is fused with adamantium. He can't be decapitated by a sword.

  • NateMan

    Sure he can. You gotta get lucky and hit between the vertebrae, but the adamantium is only fused to his bones. If his spinal column itself was coated in the stuff he'd never be able to turn his head.

  • This really is a design flaw if you think about it. He's terribly vulnerable to high explosives and shrapnel then, because while his bones are unbreakable, they're held together by standard issue cartilage and tendons. Anything that could de-limb a normal human would do the same to Wolverine.

    For the next version, they should consider lacing his soft tissue with vibranium, or possibly a micro mesh of adamantium running through the tissue. That would allow flexibility while making the connective tissue as invulnerable as the bones.

  • BlackRabbit

    He'd heal that, though. Not to mention that there are, apparently, extra-special swords that negate his healing and thusly can kill him. Here's a drinking game for these film-take one every time the "claws" noise is heard, or a "cutting" noise. CRAZY DRUNK.

  • NateMan


  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    Canadian amnesiacs are assholes. They forget to be polite. They forget the obligatory "eh", They forget to insert their superfluous "u"s. And, worst of all,... I forgot what I was going to say. Asshoule.

  • I'm sure the answer is at the bottom of a bottle of Labatt.

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    Ignorant American. It's at the bottom of a plate of poutine.

  • Maguita NYC

    There is only more poutine at the bottom of a poutine you hoser.

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