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Is That a Southern Accent or Are You Just Happy to See Me

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (26)

larryevan.jpg

I’ve had a tab open in my browser with the trailer for the new Woody Allen film, Whatever Works, for three days. I haven’t been able to force myself to watch it, and if you surf away now before watching it, I wouldn’t blame you. It seems like Woody Allen has a film out once or twice a year now, and it also seems like with every new release, critics claim that this is his best movie since Woody Allen’s peak years. They’re all kind of the same to me, though. A great cast, but if Woody isn’t in the film himself, he’s got a stand-in, and it’s the same Woody Allen pitter-patter it’s always been. I respect the guy. He’s a great filmmaker. And I admire him for directing as many movies for as long as he has. But, damn: That uptight, neurotic, TMI Manhattan shtick is fucking old. I don’t think I’ve enjoyed a Woody Allen film since Everyone Says I Love You.

So, don’t watch the trailer for Whatever Works, which has Larry David standing in for Woody Allen this time, if you don’t want to. However, if you don’t watch it, you will be missing one of the year’s best comic performances in Evan Rachel Wood. It’s unintentional, of course: I can’t tell if her accent is a Southern one or an Australian one. In either respect, it’s dreadful.







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Comments

Well...It doesn't LOOK terrible, I suppose. Although Larry David just flat-out annoys me for no apparent reason, so take that into consideration.

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at May 11, 2009 5:06 PM

I don’t think I’ve enjoyed a Woody Allen film since Everyone Says I Love You.

I fell asleep in the theater. Granted, I'd had some wine, but I still fell asleep.

Posted by: Jay at May 11, 2009 5:12 PM

The fuck, is that David Carradine in that one shot?

Looks more like Larry David doing his shtick than neurotic stock Woody Allen character. The thing with this little pervert pedophile is that his bona-fide classics: Sleeper (Science Fiction and Comedy),Bananas, Manhattan, and Annie Hall are undeniably that: classic.
Crimes and Misdemeanors was good, but man, I'm still recuperating from watching Scenes From a Mall, that was BRUTAL. The rest of the stuff he's done afterward is just, meh.
He should just retire and keep plowing his step-daughter.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at May 11, 2009 5:16 PM

Aren't trailers supposed to highlight some of the better moments in a movie? That was just... boring. And since when does Evan Rachel Wood act? I thought she was famous for being Marilyn Manson's revenge lay.

Posted by: Netraphim at May 11, 2009 5:44 PM

Oh Lord! I hear you on that Manhattan self-absorbed, "we're all in therapy just to show we can afford it" crap. New Yorkers in general (Kolby excepted) annoy the shit out of me.

Question: remember when it was considered a real coup by an actor to be in a Woody Allen film? When did that turn into "whatever, I'll take the role so I don't have to fly to LA every week"?

Posted by: PaddyDog at May 11, 2009 6:01 PM

Oh shit, this looks awful! Woody Allen just needs to stop, and immediately. Could we have a repeat of Christian's music list, except with directors?

Posted by: Caspar at May 11, 2009 6:17 PM

UGH!

Posted by: Alli at May 11, 2009 6:50 PM

I loath Larry David. He can sit on a fork.

Posted by: Lauren at May 11, 2009 6:53 PM

LOATH*E*. Can't spel on Mondays.

Posted by: Lauren at May 11, 2009 6:54 PM

Yeah, so, I'll just say this: I saw Deconstructing Harry... Hated it. Oh, my GOD, the pain I felt throughout my viewing of tht AGONISING waste of film stock.

I couldn't make it through Melinda and Melinda. THAT is rare for me. I mean, once I commit to a film, I pretty much DRAG myself to the finish line. Melinda and Melinda? Fell asleep. Woke up, tried again... Just could NOT do it. Finally just gave up. Dude -- I finished NORTH. And to this DAY, I call that the Worst Movie Ever Made. I will go to my GRAVE knowing that is the Worst Movie Ever Made. Man, I sat through Deconstructing Harry and I couldn't finish Melinda and Melinda.

Celebrity was intolerable. I LOVE Kenneth Branagh -- but Branagh as Woody Allen??? Oh. My. GOD.

Match Point was grotesque. Scoop -- despite the presence of the ineffable McShane -- might as well have been included in the Bybee memos as an acceptable "Enhanced Interrogation Method."

(Allen's infatuation with the absurdly talentless Scarlett Johanssen is, in itself, a perpetration upon the filmgoing public, motherfucking torture.)

As yet, therefore, despite mostly rave reviews and multiple supporting actress awards for the gorgeous Penelope Cruz, I've ben physically unable to bring myself to see Vicky Christina Barcelona -- starring, AGAIN -- inexplicably, SHOCKINGLY -- the BLACK HOLE of talent that is Scarlett Johanssen!!!

I haven't even been able to read REVIEWS of Cassandra's Dream, I've experienced so much movie-goer's post-traumatic shock.

So... Needless to say, I have not watched the preview you have so thoughtfully provided. Whatever Works? Yeah, um... Maybe once the incestuous puppeteer is a pile of desiccated bones in a marble crypt somewhere and I've run out of DVD television series in my Netflix queue, I'll consider giving it a look. But you know what they say -- seventeen times bitten...

Posted by: Maryscott O'Connor at May 11, 2009 6:57 PM

I watched "Vicky Christy Barcelona" -- or rather, I fast-forwarded to the kissing scene with Cruz and Johanssen, and looped that for about an hour and a half.

Pretty much the same thing. I heard there was another actress in the movie but heck if I can remember any scene she was in.

Posted by: Neodiogenes at May 11, 2009 7:15 PM

we're all in therapy just to show we can afford it

As I understand it from another write-up I saw about this film, we'll also be "treated" to Woody's self-fellating fantasy of the much, much younger woman throwing herself at the much, much older man. The fact that Evan Rachel Wood actually has such bad judgment in her personal life doesn't translate to a relatable story where Larry David is not only in such a relationship, but he's essentially an unwilling participant by virtue of his inexorable magnetic attraction to the other sex. Yes, exactly, that's exactly how it would happen.

Woody, there's a reason your inappropriately aged partner/kidnapping victim (a) was obtained for you through adoption shenanigans and (b) looks like twenty miles of bad road after a record-setting hailstorm.

Oh, and Scoop suuuuuuuuuuuucked. Self-absorbed asshole. If you make Patricia Clarkson look bad out of this, I will hunt you down.

Happy for Samantha Bee, though.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at May 11, 2009 7:20 PM

and looped that for about an hour and a half

Accidentally grabbed the numbing lotion instead of the lube, eh? That happened to me too one time.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at May 11, 2009 7:21 PM

I like Larry David too much to watch this preview. Yes I'm a HUGE Curb Your Enthusiasm fan! IT just irks me that Larry plays Woody Allen in this movie, I mean he's already neurotic in his classically asshole way, but to be in one of Woody's films playing him, that's just a waste of time. Shit, I'm so down now. Gacckkkk!

Posted by: ph at May 11, 2009 8:13 PM

I love Larry David and I like a fair amount of Woody's films. Normally, I like them for the comfort of knowing what I'm in for - once in a while it's good for a movie to be what you expect (overall, not word for word). ERW does look pretty awful in this though.

Posted by: Cindy at May 11, 2009 8:28 PM

You're an Arkansas boy living in Maine now, right, Rowles? I'd say your license for judging Southern accents may be up for renewal. Hell, the masochist in me wonders what your accent must sound like these days. Anyhow, while consideration of the source suggests that the outcome is wholly unintentional, Ms. Wood manages to pull off a passable North Florida hick. For whatever that's worth.

Posted by: Che Grovera at May 11, 2009 11:01 PM

In Vicky C.B. there was not an uptight neurotic character like the old Woody Allen and I thought the movie was quite enjoyable.

Posted by: kc at May 12, 2009 12:36 AM

I like the look of this cast. May pick this up as a DVD rental or something. Cute.

Posted by: grace b at May 12, 2009 12:40 AM

Can't even think of the last Woody movie I saw, but the last woody movie was ... Thursday.

God bless the Interwebs.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at May 12, 2009 1:06 AM

Can't even think of the last Woody movie I saw, but the last woody movie was ... Thursday.

God bless the Interwebs.

*snort*

Posted by: Brite at May 12, 2009 1:39 AM

So, who was the Allen stand-in in Match Point?

Or are we pretending that movie doesn't exist, so you can have your little theory?

Posted by: pomeroy at May 12, 2009 4:11 AM

New Yorkers in general (Kolby excepted) annoy the shit out of me.

No worries, Paddy - I'm Upstate, so I'm basically a redneck. Plus, I'm not originally from New York, so I've got that going for me.


Posted by: Kolby at May 12, 2009 9:46 AM

I'm born and raised in Georgia and while I've heard my fair share of colorful southern accents, the only time I encounter that sing-song lobotomized twang is when Hollywood actors try to play southerners.

If you want to hear a thick, accurate southern accent by a non-native watch Kiera Sedgewick in the the Closer. No comment on the show, just the legitimacy of the accent.

Posted by: Jenn at May 12, 2009 1:36 PM

Ive never seen a Woody Allen movie and i don't think I'm going to star with this shitty looking movie. The only reason i watched this trailer was Larry David and even his shtick looks played out in this. WEAK SAUCE

Posted by: Sad Rockstar at May 12, 2009 1:43 PM

Pajibes got it wrong, here. I lurv Woody Allen even if his life choices aren't defendable.

Sweet and Lowdown is one of my favorite romances.
Vicky Christina Barcelona is a superb fucked-up relationships movie, even if the lot of you are past your exciting, devastating lover phases (excluding Jfeist, holy shit man. I finally saw the pictures.) I'll give you that the 10 movies between those films are downright horrible, but this just will not stand.

Bananas is hilarious. And he's made at least 10 other fantastic films. He's on the pretentious side, but pretentious far exceeds the schlock cult phenomena Hollywood ordinarily subscribes to. His voice is specific. Not even Mia or Woody himself ever delivered his dialogue as well as Diane Keaton. I think it's an interesting move to try Larry David-- another dude I've loved ever since CYE first aired. I don't really care about the Southern accents. Seems a paltry complaint.

Posted by: Jackseppelin at May 13, 2009 3:46 AM

Excuse me to all you stupid asses...Wood is a southerner. So...yeah.
You know all southern accents are different. Why don't you actually watch the movie before judging it? I saw it...I thought it was charming, and pretty funny. Wood and Clarkson steal the movie.

Posted by: Michellek at June 9, 2009 4:02 AM


















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