Well at Least the DNA Doesn't Look Human: "Last Days of Mars" Trailer
film / tv / lists / guides / news / love / celeb / video / think pieces / staff / podcasts / web culture / politics / dc / snl / netflix / marvel / cbr

Well at Least the DNA Doesn't Look Human: "Last Days of Mars" Trailer

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Trailers | September 18, 2013 | Comments ()


I’m surprised that they put “Mars” in the title of the movie, because it’s almost a guarantee that if you put those four letters into a title the movie is going to be terrible. “Ghosts of Mars”, “Mission to Mars”? I’m pretty sure that this is a causal factor, just like how ice cream sales cause murder, so just imagine how terrible “John Carter” would have been if they’d kept the title of the book. The universe would have disappeared into the subsequent singularity of suck.

So here’s the trailer for “Last Days of Mars”, which manages to borrow from every cliche in the book of science fiction, and still look fantastic while it does it:

Ok so this trailer looks good, like really good. Huh, with eloquence like that on display, I can’t imagine why I haven’t gotten a quote stuck on a movie ad yet. But I can’t help noticing that this is almost exactly the plot of Doctor Who’s “Waters of Mars”. That’s sort of unfair, because “The Doctor Did It!” is the sci-fi equivalent of squawking “Simpsons Did It!”. And I’m not saying it as a criticism so much as noting that through the entire trailer I was wondering whether the TARDIS was going to show up to save the day, or whether Liev Schreiber is going to be the thirteenth Doctor. I’m okay with either.

Biz Break: Now You Can Skip to All of Lizzy Caplan's Sex Scenes in 'Masters of Sex' from Your Cubicles | The 12 Manliest Movie Posters In The History Of Ever

Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • TrickyHD

    Here's my theory, in John Carpenter's The Thing, an alien life form crashes in the arctic, and an isolated group of people are slowly infected one by one. Now we have an isolated group on Mars, encountering a native life form, and becoming infected one by one. It's "Thing of Mars"!

  • NoPantsMcLane

    I'll watch any movie that gives Elias Koteas a big part. He is seriously one of the most underrated actors working today.

  • Helo

    Broad range, his.

    (...and yet despite that, the first thing I always think is "DAMN, Casey Jones looks like shit!")

  • Falstaff

    Shit always goin down for Ray Donavan, Bunch. Even on fackin Maahs.

  • Bad Superman

    Looks like the movie Prometheus should've been.

  • Dean Gorby

    The movie appears to be "Last Days ON Mars". Which makes more sense than "Last Days OF Mars" (which sounded interesting, but different).

  • lowercase_ryan

    I don't give two craps who this was stolen from. All I can do is utter the creepiest "yeeeessssssssss" you've ever heard.

    Can. Not. Wait!!

    Space AND Olivia Williams?? You've got to be kidding me, I'm so lining up for this.

    Cindy is in too =)

  • tjedison

    Eyes of Laura Mars?

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    If Tommy Lee Jones shows up to investigate, don't let him in the bay doors!

  • bastich

    Two words for the sequel: "Doctor Sabretooth".

    I'm writing the script now....

  • BWeaves

    Yeah, first thing I thought of was the Doctor Who: Waters of Mars, too.

  • NateMan

    Ahem. Ghosts of Mars kicked ass. As did the Doctor Who Waters of Mars movie thingie. I'll definitely watch this.

    Edit: I didn't see your comparison to Waters of Mars in your 2nd paragraph. Sooooorry.

  • emmelemm

    Agreed. Ghosts of Mars may have been, well, cheesy? And so obviously on a sound stage you could see the cardboard backdrops fluttering.

    But seriously:

    Ice Cube
    Jason Statham
    Pam Grier
    Joanna Cassidy
    Clea DuVall
    Natasha Henstridge (whom I love a great deal more than I should based solely on her actual filmography)


blog comments powered by Disqus