I love to rag on movies. You have to, really, if you review them for any length of time. It’s easy to burn out, otherwise. I love coming up with different ways to shit on the same kinds of movies. It’s one of the challenges that keeps this job interesting.
But it’s not the reason we do this. Up in the Air is the reason I do it. I will sit through 47 shitty films a year for the opportunity to see this one. I haven’t seen it yet, of course. But you just know. You just know it’s going to blow you away, probably rip out your heart, and hollow out your soul before filling you back up and tossing you out the theater exuberant, hop-skippy, and joyful. I can’t watch the trailer without getting anxious — knowing that a movie like that exists and that I haven’t been able to see it yet makes me antsy. I want to sit in its glow; I want to claim ownership; and I want to backhand the soulless contrarians waiting to find fault. To be that one guy that doesn’t like an amazing film if only because it allows him to be that one guy.
I’m getting flame-warry just thinking about it. Here’s the new, extended trailer for Jason Reitman’s Up in the Air.
George Clooney's an American hero. Who else but him could go from starring in The Facts of Life, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, and Batman and Robin, and then become the star of Michael Clayton, O Brother, Where Art Thou, Oceans Eleven, and direct Good Night and Good Luck. No one, that's who.
Mmmmmm, I see some potential here, Clooney toning down his "Cloonshtick." Is this a rom-com? And who's the petite gal? Looks like Isla Fisher's cousin.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 11, 2009 10:00 AM
Easy, Dustin. Looks good but not "save my soul" good. And yes, BSlim, it would look EXACTLY like a rom-com if Clooney wasn't in it, which is the only thing thats keeping me from completely dismissing it as such.
Posted by: Mr. Tusks at November 11, 2009 10:07 AM
Seems like a script that might be trying a little too hard in places, but that could just be the preview effect. I can't say I am SO there...but I am there.
Posted by: sansho1 at November 11, 2009 10:10 AM
No it does look nice. And hey, I liked "One Fine Day" too, what the hell? I like when he ends up caring.
Also, it feels good to go to the airport in a suit. I recommend it. Works better in cooler months, of course, since you know planes are stuffy and hot until they take off (bring a pack of those little "make up remover" towelettes. Indispensable for freshening up. Works in Disney World too).
What was she asking him the size of? I played it three times and couldn't catch the word.
It intrigued me or it could be hearing Rogue Wave on the soundtrack.
Posted by: babysledge at November 11, 2009 10:30 AM
*sigh* Here's my thing... The movie looks awesome, sure, but this makes me more nervous not less. Sure the trailer looks fun and sentimental and engaging and blah blah blah, but ya know, that's all just surface level. It's like, ya know, let's just say hypothetically, you go to a party and there's this hot guy there and he's not with any one and you're making eyes with him all night and you're really excited because he's coming over to you and you have to check and make sure that your palms aren't sweaty and then he starts talking to you and making jokes and you're both laughing it up and ohmygod is he awesome or what!? Then out of no where dude starts asking you about your friend that you came with and wondering if she's single, because, ohmygod, she's totally hot and he's wondering if you'd set him up with her, ya know, because you seem like a cool chick and then you tell him that no, she's dating someone (which happens to be the truth) and then he's all like, "Well thanks." And just leaves! After a twenty minute conversation, which was, like, oozing with chemistry and your left standing alone dumb-founded by the beer pong table while dude goes and chats up this slutty girl by the pony keg.
Ya know, hypothetically.
But I'll go see this movie. And then go write an emo journal entry when it inevitably disappoints.
Posted by: Kayanne at November 11, 2009 10:34 AM
If the lead in this movie was like..Aaron Eckheart or something I'd never see it in a million years.
Posted by: Mr. Tusks at November 11, 2009 10:43 AM
HA! Dude, one of my airport rules is NEVER GET BEHIND OLD PEOPLE. Or mothers with lots of kids.
I have a lot of airport rules. And he's absolutely right: stereotyping at airports works. Like don't stand behind or sit behind older latina ladies. They will always be confused and they will put their passport and boarding ticket in the deepest depths of their purses and take 10 minutes to find their seats on the plane.
Anyway, this looks fun. And yeah, that girl looks like Isla Fisher's bland sister.
I'm in and out of courthouses all day long, so I'm familiar with the security line dynamic. Anyone wearing clothing with extra pockets is trouble, as are attorneys who assume they'll be let through without having to empty their pockets.
Posted by: sansho1 at November 11, 2009 11:14 AM
Now if only there was a line like that for theater concessions.
I think it's just basic respect for the staff and your fellow moviegoers (assuming one is capable of basic respect for others) to get your popcorn Soup Nazi style. I'm gathering my "butter" napkins and straw while the drink is being filled. If I need a moment to put in the straw or wipe off the cup--Step to the left, put my stuff in front of the fountain, and let the process continue unimpeded.
The automatic kiosks for airline checkin and movie tickets are one of the greatest inventions ever.
Agreed, Jay. If only everyone would just get the hint to MOVE ASIDE when they're done placing their order or whatever, life would be so much simpler. Don't stand there organizing your money and your purse contents when you KNOW there's someone waiting behind you. It's not that difficult!
And who's the petite gal? Looks like Isla Fisher's cousin.
This is one of the days that I hate having a good memory and also that my wife loves horrible books and their ensuing shitty movies. The actress was in Twilight, though I don't know her name.
The automatic kiosks for airline checkin and movie tickets are one of the greatest inventions ever.
Agreed, though grocery self-checkouts are always a disasterbacle.
Posted by: branded at November 11, 2009 11:27 AM
One really hates to break this news to you, but the petite girl is actually one of the Twilight crew... Anna Kendrick.
(But she looks a lot better in this one.)
And yet another movie that's going to be shit in any other language... I just hate my life.
Posted by: Padame at November 11, 2009 11:28 AM
It is Anna Kendrick (Portland, Maine!), but she's so much more than a Twilight girl. She was in Rocket Science. And she was amazing in Rocket Science. She is 49 kinds of awesome (I counted).
Posted by: Dustin Rowles at November 11, 2009 11:31 AM
That goes for the grocery store, too, and women with large purses who are caught by surprise when told they have to pay for their stuff.
*pet peeve alert, feel free to move along*
If you're in a line at the grocery checkout and some bozo with as much in his cart as the rest of you decides to try to push his way to the front of the line, everyone would beat the shit out of him, and rightly so. So nobody tries it.
But if you're in your car in a long line patiently waiting for a merge, like at a construction zone where the lanes go from two to one, why do people think it's perfectly OK to drive all the way up to the merge point and then insist the people who have been waiting in line let you in?
I'm not surprised to hear of the occasional bout of road rage. I'm surprised there isn't way more of it.
*peeve finished*
Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at November 11, 2009 11:33 AM
"Hilarious and Tragic"
Sold.
While we're on the subject, why is it so Jesopused damned hard to take out your wallet, money, card, etc. while you are standing at the register? Why, why, why must you wait until the cashier is done ringing; why do you stand there staring at the total; why must you carry the world's biggest, idiotic, decorated with someone else's initials because you are a silly person who spends five kazillionty dollars on a purse, purse with a matching status symbol wallet that makes me wonder if you have matching toilet paper at home??? Go back to the fucking outlet mall and get the fuck out of my way!!!
Posted by: Cindy at November 11, 2009 11:35 AM
Oh, that's her. I...really didn't like Rocket Science.
Agreed, though grocery self-checkouts are always a disasterbacle.
I do pride myself on TCB In A Flash with those too, but...yeah...at my nearest Kroger there's usually a bit of a traffic jam if I'm buying something between 9 am and 11 pm. I'd like to think the shoppers behind me appreciate my no-nonsense style, but the who the hell knows? I'm probably really just congratulating myself. Still, having spent too much time working in grocery stores, I'm firmly on the side of the staff and try to make their lives easier.
Oh and don't just drop your handbasket on the floor. That's just tacky.
I think there is a certain sub-genre of movies that technically are Rom-Coms, but manage to be good anyway. See: Say Anything. But that also has 80's Jon Cusack in it, so maybe the key is a non-douchy leading man? In which case, I have faith in Intern George.
Posted by: Alexandra at November 11, 2009 11:40 AM
Why, why, why must you wait until the cashier is done ringing;
Because you're on the phone.
why do people think it's perfectly OK to drive all the way up to the merge point and then insist the people who have been waiting in line let you in?
Well, I make it a point to refuse those n'er-do-wells if I can, but am usually stuck with yelling my fucking head off at the person who did let them in in front of me. "WHY'D YOU DO THAT??? I THOUGHT WE WERE A TEAM HERE!!!"
I am SUCH an angry driver (not reckless, just angry). I'm sure it's a lot better for the world and my blood pressure when I happen to have a passenger, which makes me very calm and easy to get along with, though, since it's a rare occasion, it often throws me off and I miss turns and exits.
The other day not only was there a line at the merge point and another line of assholes trying to cut through the front, some guy CLIMBED UP ON THE SIDEWALK and drove OVER it to get ahead of everyone.
A personal pet peeve: when someone orders a drink at the bar, waits two-three minutes for it to be made, and then starts fishing the money out from the back pocket of tight jeans/huge purse/tiny purse/bra(ew) or whatever, even though people are waiting five deep at the bar! Arghh!!! Don't make me tap my fingers impatiently on the bar at you, asshole! Same as the grocery store, only I'm (generally) more drunk.
Posted by: Alexandra at November 11, 2009 11:49 AM
And that's completely normal for this place.
Tony Horwitz advised me to never, ever get on the road in the Dominican Republic. Or, really, to just never go there.
Driving up to the merge point on the road's shoulder also deserves GBH.
But like I've said, I do like being in airports. I'm ever so slightly disappointed that my next three engagements with my girl involve her flying here, and not because I requested it, I'm not being deliberately cheap here (but it is a lot cheaper to be the host).
These are generally the same assholes ordering blended strawberry daiquiris. Stereotype: they never tip, either.
Posted by: Alexandra at November 11, 2009 11:52 AM
Yeah, there's a very good reason I refuse to learn to drive while I'm still living here. I get ragey enough being the passenger--as driver I'd kill someone. Also, our "buses" here are the gigantic yellow school bus types, driving on roads that are 200 years old and were built for carriages and buggies and shit and haven't been expanded. Oh, Honduras.
I do like airports, too, but only once I'm past security. Once you're there everything is all calm and you can go to the quiet places or wander through the shops. Unless it's Miami International, where it's like the waiting area of hell.
Listen, "conscientious" shopper, I know you're the best at everything, so I hate to interject here, but get your shit together. Listen, if you've got a cart full of items and a total lack of a bagging army, take it to the frickin' cashier. I know you think you can swipe with the best of them, but I swear to God every single time you move that cereal box, I can see the bar code. If I can see the bar code, then the freaking lasers can't. You suck at swiping. AND I know you think you're the best at bagging, but if you think that putting every single item into a seperate plastic bag, then double-bagging to the extreme makes you a pro, I have news for you: you're actually an idiot and you should let the qualified (and paid!) experts handle it for you. And I swear to God, if you start freaking out the instance it asks you to pay now and you start acting like you've never seen you're own GD wallet in your entire life, I will beat you with the gallon of milk I've got in my hand. Which, asshat, happens to be the only thing I have in my hand, which you noticed as you muscled your way in front of me to get into the freaking lane. A fact which you championed to your brohan as you loudtalked into your cell phone.
I HOPE YOU NEVER GET REMEMBER TO REDEEM ANY MVP POINTS!!!!
Posted by: Kayanne at November 11, 2009 11:59 AM
Unless it's Miami International
*shudder*
I haven't been there in twenty four years and still...still the pain..... Guess it hasn't gotten any better.
One of the best things about living and traveling in Asia -- all the sandals and slip-on shoes. Although by some Newtonian reverse-gravitational wormhole logic, old Asian people are even worse travelers than Western elderly.
It might just be that I've had more experience with this sort than any other, but if I had to say who makes the worst travelers in the world, I wouldn't hesitate to say latinos.
Going to or leaving the US. They're the ones with the 4 bags PER PERSON, each bag 30 or 40 pounds over the weight limit. They're the ones fighting with the check-in people because they don't understand that NO, you cannot take 15 extra carry-on bags full of cheese and meat that your grandma gave you to take home with you. They're the ones who get their bags covered in plastic and hold up the customs lines while the ages have to tear the plastic off. They're the ones who think the little seat number on the boarding pass is just a suggestion. The ones who don't get that you board by group number or seat number. The ones who don't understand that you put your carry-on WHEELS FIRST and that you GET OUT OF THE AISLE while boarding. The ones that decide the perfect time to go to the bathroom is while everyone is boarding.
The ones who talk too loudly on the plane and clap when the plane lands.
Your nightmare travel companion. I love my people but sometimes I want to strangle all of them.
True story: every flight I've taken from Houston or Miami to Honduras has had to start boarding waaaay before any other normal flight boards. Usually it's 30 minutes before the flight leaves. With Hondurans you need at least 45 minutes.
Do not shit on Aaron Eckhart, Mr. Tusks. Just. Don't.
Posted by: Smokin at November 11, 2009 12:20 PM
Hee. You're killing me figgy.
Posted by: Cindy at November 11, 2009 12:21 PM
This is not a rom-com, I promise. I saw it at a film festival and it's really good, but I would calm down a bit about already naming it best picture before you've seen it. Clooney is his awesome, charming self, but with a little more depth, and there are great funny scenes as well as some tragedy, but it's not the greatest movie ever made. Doesn't hyping it like that just inevitably lead to disappointment? I try to have low expectations going in - the chances of being impressed are much higher.
Posted by: sarah b at November 11, 2009 12:23 PM
Ahem. Define "OLD PEOPLE." It makes a difference in how I define "BITCH."
---
Old Person (n):
a) Someone over the age of 38
b) Someone wearing "mom jeans"
c) Someone whose sneaker soles are at least an inch thick
d) Someone with apricot-colored puffy hair
e) Someone who inevitably forgets their boarding pass in the bin with their laptop and then can't understand the security guard when he tells them to retrieve it
f) Someone going by the name " , (TCFKAB)"
Posted by: esme at November 11, 2009 12:27 PM
What do you mean "my people"?
Posted by: branded at November 11, 2009 12:34 PM
38?! Bitch, please....
Posted by: sansho1 at November 11, 2009 12:35 PM
Uh, esme, you think 38 is old?
Please tell me you're 7.
Posted by: Kayanne at November 11, 2009 12:42 PM
Hilarious Figgy! I may be weird, but I for one love the Miami airport, and think it's great when people clap when the plane lands. I don't fly that far southward enough for it to get to me, but each time I've flown out of Miami we have been at least an hour delayed. Must be those latina old ladies.
Posted by: katy at November 11, 2009 12:48 PM
{sigh} Kids.
Esme, you know I think you are the tits, but watch the age thing. I get that when you are (what is it, 18? I've got socks older than that!) it seems like 30 is ancient, but let me assure you, it is lurking right around the corner. Time just goes faster and faster.
And my 36 year old ass could BURY you. I've got skills that you don't even know exist yet.
But I think you're adorable, so lets not fight.
Re: lines at airport or stores:
You know, it isn't really "Old People" that are the problem, it is 'Out of Touch' people. There are a shocking number of people wandering around public places that seem to live in a fishbowl the rest of the time or something because they appear to be completely mystified by the most mundane of courtesies and procedures. Are they stupid? 'Special'? Stressed out ? Tired? I don't know. I do know that if I am in a line, I WILL find myself behind someone who:
DOES wasnt to sign up for the fucking club card.
Who DOES want to use 43 coupons.
Who wants to pay in food stamps or pennies.
Who comes up a bit short so starts returning stuff.
Or on one auspicious occasion, actually suddenly loses consciousness and passes out right there on the floor at Safeway. (That was a 30 something guy, and of course, who is the ONLY person with their shit together in the whole effing store to jump on and handle the situation? That is right, Me).
So I will get in line behind an 80 year old who looks like they could tell you the time and date if asked before I get in line behind a 25 year old whose eyes don't quite focus any day of the week.
Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at November 11, 2009 1:22 PM
"Who wants to pay in food stamps or pennies..."
Eeeeeh, that one MIGHT not be a choice.
just sayin'
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 11, 2009 1:29 PM
I love Aaron Eckhart too, I just know an Eckhart clunker when I see the preview. See No Reservations; Love Happens. I eagerly await Rum Diary and The Dark Knight is the greatest superhero movie ever made, but the guy has a second life holding up rom-com garbage. I know Clooney doesn't take bad scripts (and I mean recently, and with the exception of anything with "Ocean's" in the title) so I am giving this one the benefit of every doubt just by virtue of his involvement. But that's it.
Though I thought Christian Bale's judgment was beyond reproach, and then I saw Terminator 4.
Posted by: Mr. Tusks at November 11, 2009 1:32 PM
OK, I guess it's official. Clooney will be nominated for an Oscar and then WIN it. Fan girls will faint. Fan boys will get drunk with glee.
George Clooney, IMHO, has Cary Grant syndrome. Just like it's namesake, he's famous for being himself and plays himself in each film. Is that bad? Well, it's boring.
Posted by: Patricia at November 11, 2009 1:39 PM
38?! Bitch, please....
Seconded.
Also: "c) Someone whose sneaker soles are at least an inch thick"
Um, some of us are just really short. Even when we were young.
Posted by: MM at November 11, 2009 2:29 PM
Choice or no, don't get behind these people. People don't choose to be elderly or physically challenged either, it doesn't mean that I want to get in line behind them. Nothing personal, I am just in a hurry.
Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at November 11, 2009 2:37 PM
You know where self-checkout lanes are a godsend? Walmart. In my entire life I've come across two, maybe three checkout clerks at Walmart who were efficient and/or didn't want to have a five-minute conversation with EVERYONE in line. I can nearly always scan my own items faster, and most of the people I see in the self-checkout lanes are just as impatient as I am. All of the ancient or inept people look at the registers like they're powered by voodoo and the blood of virgins and weave their way down to the blue-hair checkout clerk on Lane 8.
And, figgy, you're cracking me up! Let it all hang out, girl.
On the big yellow bus thing, there are usually about 200 people on there, right? Not that I've had the experience but I've noticed in the news that every time a bus goes off a cliff in some underdeveloped country 150 people die, so I know there must be 50 inside, 50 on the roof, and another 50 hanging outside off the windows.
Right?
Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at November 11, 2009 3:00 PM
Big Daddy:
If they are anything like the buses in Mexico, you are correct sir.
I don't use those self checkout lanes.
1) they are a cylon plot to take jobs away from actual people
2) I don't like being told what to do by a machine. "Place the item here, place the item there" Fuck you bitch. I'll put it where I want.
3) I almost always pay in cash, which necessitates a human to intercede anyway.
4)I must project a gamma particle beam or something because all I have to do is walk past those damn things and they cease to function.
Every. Damn. Time.
Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at November 11, 2009 3:11 PM
I must project a gamma particle beam or something because all I have to do is walk past those damn things and they cease to function.
That's like me and certain lights in my neighborhood. I walk towards them, they turn off. I walk away from them, they turn on.
As a child, I must have stood to close to the microwave one time too many.
I think there is a certain sub-genre of movies that technically are Rom-Coms, but manage to be good anyway. See: Say Anything. But that also has 80's Jon Cusack in it, so maybe the key is a non-douchy leading man? In which case, I have faith in Intern George.
Posted by: Alexandra at November 11, 2009 11:40 AM
"Rom-coms, but good anyway"? I'm not sure I like your logic. There are plenty of movies that are unabashedly rom-coms are ARE damn good. The two are not mutually exclusive.
Posted by: Daniel Hall at November 11, 2009 7:39 PM
3) I almost always pay in cash, which necessitates a human to intercede anyway.
---
Lwa'e' luv, I'm puzzled by this. The machines at our Kroger and Gint Iggle TAKE cash and spit out change. It's when you need to write a check that someone else has to get involved. Or when you buy beer, cause then a live person has to card you. I wish I could say it's because I could pass for under 21. Instead I look in their direction and reach for my wallet and they've already waved me through. *sigh*
Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at November 11, 2009 9:39 PM
That co-pilot schtick Clooney just spit out sold it for me right there.
Movie looks sad and gay. You like sad, gay movies. Neener neener neener
Posted by: some guy at November 11, 2009 11:56 PM
some guy:
So, you're saying... what, 3 stars? 3 and a half?
Posted by: Daniel Hall at November 12, 2009 12:04 AM
Holy crap that is one of the kids in Twilight! She plays one of the friendly-but-doofy kids Bella treats like crap because she's too busy angsting over her vampire love to make human friends her own age.
I can't WAIT to see this if only for the parts filmed in St. Louis while I lived there. My roommate saw Intern George getting ready to film outside a Schnuck's grocery store on South Grand. And yes, she bought a dozen gallons of milk for the shelter she worked at, all with WIC coupons. I doubt she used self-check out.
Posted by: Empress of All the Russias at November 12, 2009 12:12 AM
Big Daddy,
1) What in the holy hell is a Gint Iggle?
2) It has been so long since I used one of those devil machines that they may have indeed evolved into cash accepting entities, but that just makes them MORE insidious.
3) I haven't purchased alcohol in 14 years (I have been carded for non-alcohol beer which is full on retarded) so I wouldn't know. I DO know that I met a lovely young man the other day who refused to believe I was as old as 30, which was awesome because I am 36.
See, clean living will do that for you. You Old Boozer.
Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at November 12, 2009 3:19 AM
George Clooney's an American hero. Who else but him could go from starring in The Facts of Life, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, and Batman and Robin, and then become the star of Michael Clayton, O Brother, Where Art Thou, Oceans Eleven, and direct Good Night and Good Luck. No one, that's who.