Twilight: Eclipse 10 Second Teaser

How Many Pairs of Panties Can Team Jacob Moisten in Under 10 Seconds?

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (31)

As promised this morning, here is that 10-second clip from the upcoming Twilight sequel, Eclipse. The full trailer will premier tomorrow, but I actually think presenting a 10-second clip first is a smart PR movie. This way, you get a taste of the sort of torture for which you can prepare yourself. It’s kind of like knowing whether someone is going to stab you with a shard of glass or with their boot.

This feels more like a boot:

Now, if you need to wash your brain out, just click here. That should erase all memory.

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Comments

Maybe if that boot has long pointy stiletto heels and is ground into your liver with a dose of e-coli on the tip.

Posted by: PaddyDog at March 10, 2010 5:34 PM

I was going to make some comment but then I clicked that link and now I can't remember.

Anything.

Where am I?

Posted by: Jelinas at March 10, 2010 5:43 PM

I'm telling you I'm convinced I've been chosen to brutally kill these folks.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at March 10, 2010 5:45 PM

I am fairly certain that I just suffered a minor stroke.

Posted by: Scully at March 10, 2010 5:54 PM

Do it, Slim! I'll be a character witness at your trial.

Posted by: Smokin at March 10, 2010 5:58 PM

Good God what have I done?
I don't know why but when I clicked on the screen and nothing happened, so I go to YouYube and as I am waiting for the clip to load I foolishly scroll down the screen and read the comments....... I was so shocked that my house mate came over and laughed at me because it is only now that I have discovered how seriously fruity Twilight fans are. They're Biblically fucking nuts. I could easily survive the movie, but surviving further exposure to those Weirdo's???
I'm going to have to adopt the rules from Zombieland and apply them to twilight fans!

Posted by: peanut at March 10, 2010 6:10 PM

Oh hell she's still biting her GODDAMN LIP.
I just know that I will be forced to see this, and it's going to take more vodka than I could possibly smuggle in to the cinema to prevent me from having an anger-induced seizure.
I think I'm gonna need to take the Jamaican rum that's been in the back of my cupboard for 3 years. It may kill me, but it's a risk I'm willing to take.

Posted by: Squeeziee at March 10, 2010 6:15 PM

10 seconds? I can find a better way to spend ten seconds. *ahem*

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK OOOOOOFFFFFF TWILIGHT.

Posted by: figgy at March 10, 2010 6:20 PM

Is that link a part of a Pajiba research program to prove that, Epilepsy is better than Twilight?

Posted by: peanut at March 10, 2010 6:20 PM

Because it is!

Posted by: peanut at March 10, 2010 6:21 PM

Watched those ten seconds by accident -- Extra was on when I woke up and I couldn't believe the third movie was out already -- but that link did make me feel better.
Oh, "Axel F". Is there anything you can't make better?

Posted by: Jim Doggie at March 10, 2010 6:23 PM

Every time I see him, I am again completely floored by how much Taylor Lautner looks like a fucking Sasquatch with a six pack. That is one ugly motherfucker.

Posted by: figgy at March 10, 2010 6:25 PM

Also, he is slack-jawed.

Posted by: figgy at March 10, 2010 6:25 PM

BSlim, I'll bail you out of jail and get you passage to Argentina.

Posted by: esme at March 10, 2010 6:32 PM

/awaits for confirmation from "the voices"

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at March 10, 2010 6:40 PM

Same face, different day.

Posted by: schrome at March 10, 2010 6:41 PM

Holy Godtopus, peanut. I went to read the youtube comments and now I feel like crying.

Posted by: figgy at March 10, 2010 6:44 PM

*rolls around on the floor seizing*

aaaaand now for the brain-cleansing link...

Posted by: branded at March 10, 2010 7:03 PM

That video was my first actual exposure to Tilight-y stuff. I figured "10 seconds. I can handle it." And ... come on. I mean, come on. The "acting?". The dialog? The shots & framing? The "story" implied? I mean, come on.

Sometimes ya find a scapegoat, and everything about it is made of suck forever after. Kind of like the two political parties in the US. I had thought the Twilight bashing hereabouts was like that. I was wrong. So very wrong.

There is no cure for this, is there? I will never be clean again.

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at March 10, 2010 7:18 PM

Why, why, WHY do so many people think Taylor Lautner is attractive?

He is BUTT ugly.

Posted by: Maryscott O'Connor at March 10, 2010 7:27 PM

So now they're releasing trailers for trailers? I hope they make a trailer for this. It would just flash a quick pic of Taylor Lautner's first pube.

Posted by: Gozer at March 10, 2010 7:35 PM

"I'm going to fight for you until your heart stops beating."
Seriously?! I know it's a reference to her becoming a shiny vamp or whatever but could this shit be any creepier?

Posted by: Mantha at March 10, 2010 7:50 PM

I was debating how bad it could be (haven't seen Twilight). Heart-stoppingly hilarious.

Posted by: Mick J at March 10, 2010 9:06 PM

@Gozer: THIS.

Posted by: koj at March 10, 2010 9:29 PM

Holy shit, Taylor Lautner is one ugly kid. And I can't believe THAT is dating Taylor Swift. She's so pretty! And she doesn't have a troglodyte jawline! He definitely got the better end of that deal. If I were her, I'd make him put a paper bag over his head while we were having sex. And even then I'd always do it doggie-style just in case the bag slipped off.

Posted by: stardust at March 10, 2010 9:43 PM

Taylor Lautner reminds me of that guy who lives with wolves from that National Geographic show.

Posted by: plywood at March 10, 2010 10:30 PM

Ha! Twilight sucks, but RGB made it all worthwhile!

Posted by: SarahStC at March 10, 2010 10:38 PM

How are Twilight fans any different from Star Wars, Star Trek or Mets fans, really? I don't understand the hate... you either like the book(s)/movie(s) or don't. No biggie - why so much vitriol?

Posted by: courtney at March 11, 2010 8:27 AM

That link made my brain itchy. But a pleasant itch, like the one you sometimes get on your taint that somehow tickles your balls and your asshole at the same time.

Posted by: Kballs at March 11, 2010 8:31 AM

Aaaaagh Dustin you should warn those of us with epilepsy before posting a link like your brain-cleansing one.

Posted by: b at March 11, 2010 9:22 AM

Honestly, who are the millions of imbeciles that pay money to see this shite? Anyone who 'consumes' this franchise provides strong cause for progroms, eugenics, and forced interment. This makes Chinese organ harvesting
seem ethical.

Posted by: James at March 11, 2010 10:19 AM

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How Many Pairs of Panties Can Team Jacob Moisten in Under 10 Seconds?

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