Pajiba

I want a Bumble Bee...

And er, I kinda loved the first one. For a turn your brain off action movie it had everything I could ask for. Well, except Megan Fox, I really wish she wasn't in these things. Hopefully this one will be decent, although it's looking a bit like National Treasure with robots.

Why do they always have to fight around national monuments? Is that the only way people can understand that something is taking place is a certain location?

And I may be wrong, but didn't Shia go to that same college in Indy and the moronic glass skull?

bweaves - cleavage is only a thin crack if your boobs are huge and real.

I will see this in the theater to enjoy how silly and stupid it is, much like the last one. Megan Fox's ass will just be an added bonus, like the cherry on top of the sundae.

Kolby: My sister's boobs are huge and fake, and they have a thin crack. Her's are actually real looking, although they make her look dowdy as hell, but her husband likes them. Anyway, my point is that you'd think these famous people are rich enough to find a doctor who can make the boobs real looking. I know it can be done. Halle Berry's are real looking, and they're definitely fake (scar in the armpit means silicone placed behind the chest muscle for a more realistic boob).

So, BWeaves, are you a plastic surgeon or are you just obsessed with Halle Berry? Either seems plausible. Hee hee.

megan fox as metaphorical cherry on top?

i would think that would gotten ruined on bay's casting couch.
just like shia's.

I'd watch Megan Fox watch paint dry. My ex had huge, real boobs and they had the valley effect.

She may be dirty but that's what I like in a girl.

Megan didn't look skinny on the bike. I guess she did fill herself out a bit after all. I couldn't care less if there's a space between her breasts and I certainly wouldn't want em artificially conjoined.

I'm looking at her thighs, alright??

Sharon Stone however, who I've always thought is beautiful, however crazy (and do you remember the story and pictures she did about shaving a woman's legs in Esquire? Golly), is looking a bit like wizened ol' Madonna right now.

That shit has to stop.

Of COURSE I'm going to see this movie. You go watch your Terminator nonsense and we'll live and let live.

I loved the first movie, and I'm going to see this one on opening weekend. Hell, I may even see it on the IMAX if it's offered!

I never got a Pajiba card, so I won't even offer to turn it in. Y'all enjoy your slow-as-molasses indie flicks and leave more room in the theatre for me and my robot-loving geeks.

The voice work of Peter Cullen gets me every time. The man did voices in all of my favorites growing up.

I will never be able to see the word chopper without thinking "Get to the chopper!" Thanks, Predator.

If it makes you feel better, Rowles, I'm too poor to see most movies in the theater these days, so I have to pick & choose carefully. This one does not make the cut. But I will be Netflixing it when it's on DVD.

Add me to the list of people who want their own Bumble Bee!

Hot as La Megan may be, she has this weird look that makes me think she was created by a committee. Like a group of teenaged boys, strip club bouncers, Mafia captains, and hillbillies all had to come together and build her by taking into account each of their respective opinions, and while she may make sense on some level, there's something just not right there.

That, or maybe it's her fake boobs.

she has this weird look that makes me think she was created by a committee. Like a group of teenaged boys, strip club bouncers, Mafia captains, and hillbillies all had to come together and build her by taking into account each of their respective opinions, and while she may make sense on some level, there's something just not right there.

There are times when I really miss the Eloquents.

Out of all the people to compare megan fox with? Tori Spelling? As in, at least 40, has had kids, and hasn't been relevant since 1992?

Really?

Once again Dustin you are being quite hypocritical. Crank II is functionally the same as Transformers. Hot girl + violence + a complete lack of plot = awesome. Now if robot violence isn't your thing, (although you are excited for terminator) so be it, but there is nothing wrong with americans like me wanting to see this movie.

The first movie was dung. This one will be dung.

I enjoy robots. For those trumpeting the virtues of robots as if that gives you a valid excuse for actually enjoying this crap, please compile more than ten total minutes of footage from the first film that consists of robots actually battling other robots.

Go ahead. I'm waiting. What's wrong? It's called Transformers, isn't it? Isn't that the whole premise?

Couldn't do it, huh? Just found a movie over two hours long, the majority of which is footage of inane humor, right? Oh sure, there are some "action" scenes consisting of humans shooting their guns at robots. There is a scene of Shia wrestling with a little robot. And there's a thrilling scene of Shia killing the leader of evil robots by daintily sticking a cube in his chest. There's a scene of giant robots essentially playing and hide and seek in the front yard. There's a scene of a robot urinating on John Turturro. But robots fighting other robots? Not much of it, huh?

I like robots beating the crap out of other robots. That's the problem. Anyone who gave that movie a pass is way too forgiving.

And if I need my Megan Fox fix, I can get it from Maxim or that upcoming Fathom movie, thank you very much.

twig>> Yes, my challenge was carefully worded, but the key element is "robots battling other robots." The opening battle in the desert had zero minutes. Heck, I remember getting a little rush of adrenaline when the evil cop car started to threaten Shia and Bumblebee showed up to stop him. And then what happens? Virtually the entire fight takes place offscreen while Shia gets into that aforementioned wrestling match. I'll give you that the climax did have a few cool moments, but - again - relatively little of it actually focuses on the robots. It's more about the humans fleeing and Shia doing whatever needs to be done with the cube.

For the record, I'm not some gung ho Transformers nerd. I couldn't care less about loyalty to original material. But I would have liked to have seen a movie that was more about the title characters and less about flat, stupid humans.

Putting all that aside, for argument's sake let's say that the movie did have 45 minutes of certifiable spectacular action. Does that excuse the other hour and a half of groan-worthy silliness?

there is nothing wrong with americans like me wanting to see this movie.

I enjoy this "luker" the barbarian chap.

Miss AvB, I'm going to hope that wasn't sarcasm, and take that as very high praise.

DarthCorleone (awesome name by the way) I will concede that the movie did not have as much robot fighting as it could have had, but I think that 45 minutes was sufficiently awesome to justify my money spent.

As for the rest of it:
I enjoy bad puns, I really enjoy groaning at absolutely inane dialogue and product placements(of which there was plenty), and for some inexplicable reason, I thought Shia LaDouche was actually GOOD in that movie.

So to summarize:

When I go to the movies I like to be able to
either enjoy an objective masterpiece (not going to happen in today's hollywood)

OR

spend 1/3 making snarky comments to my lady friend (robot peeing, climbing a tree, etc.)

spend 1/3 of the movie being dazzled by special effects (chopping off of giant robot's head, scorpion scene)

spend 1/3 of the movie appreciating a wide variety of guilty pleasures:

awesome michael bay music, totally guilt free patriotism, megan fox, bernie mac being entertaining,etc.

Finally: Transformers is better than the majority of the usual hollywood blockbuster because it doesn't take itself seriously. Unlike, movies that are laughably bad but try to be something more: see kingdom of crystal skull, most likely terminator, incredible hulk, x-men 3.

the cheap decorative sex thing
---
Like that's a bad thing?

I didn't like that Robert Pattinson wasn't in this movie. He should be in all movies from now on, playing all the characters. He'd be like Eddie Murphy, but hot; minus the fat-suits and dead hookers in his trailer.
....ok, maybe the dead hookers will still be around...

DarthCorleone,

I agree with you completely. I paid for a 'Transformers' ticket to watch robots fight other robots. I did NOT pay to watch a two hour drama about the unbreakable bond of love between Shia and his fucking chihuahua with what amounted to a short cameo from the Transformers robots.

Unfortunately, I will also bet you $20 that after the initial scene with Bumblebee, we don't see another goddamned robot for at least half an hour.

"luker" >> Thanks for the compliment on the handle.

Here's the thing that jumps out at me from your post...

When I go to the movies I like to be able to
either enjoy an objective masterpiece (not going to happen in today's hollywood)

I guess I'm still trying to hold Hollywood to a higher standard. I don't mean to sound like some grumpy old man, but I earnestly believe that many of the summer movies from the years of my youth are objective masterpieces, and I don't think that dismissing that as an impossibility in the current day helps the situation. I prefer to withhold my patronage when I can to let the studios know that they can do better.

Anyway, it's fine if you're content to make snarky comments and enjoy a movie as a self-parody of itself. I guess for me Transformers still takes itself too seriously in other parts to be appreciated on that level, and I found the humor lame regardless. I find it dismaying that the top-grossing movie of that year (and its that top-grossing status that encourages Hollywood to churn out more crap, i.e., the movies that fail to be objective masterpieces) could have been so much more than a joke. Those other movies you mention might fail as a result of taking themselves too seriously, but at least they're striving to replicate earlier successes from a time when summer movies weren't complete farces.

lmao you guys are retarded!!! of course you would bash a bay movie!!!! Just so everyone knows...MEGAN FOX's tits are real! Not to mention nothing but eye candy for this fucking movie!! As far as the film...if you are a guy...THINGS GO BOOM...YOU WILL LOVE IT!!!! As for a girl...LOOK AS SHIA...OH HE LOOKS LIKE HE IS IN TROUBLE!!! OH YAY HE SAVED THE DAY!!! THIS MOVIE IS AMAZING...there you go...my verdict...BOx office hit...no doubt!

--Love IT!! Steve