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"We're past life specialists. We think one of those girls has been reincarnated into our client."

By Seth Freilich | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (22)

past-lives.jpg

Yesterday, we talked about Fox’s new fall and spring schedule, which includes a couple of new shows, of course. Here are trailers for those shows and, well, it ain’t pretty. I feel so much better about “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles” being canceled knowing that at least I’ll have all this garbage to fill the void. …fuck.

“Past Life.” Let’s get the worst one out of the way right up front. I mean, seriously, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me with this bullshit.

(Oh Richard Schiff, why have you forsaken us for this garbage?!)

“The Cleveland Show.” I made you suffer through this video yesterday. I shan’t do it again.

“Sons of Tucson.” I enjoy Tyler Labine lots, so he makes me warm to this show right off the bat. But that warmth only goes so far and I can’t say I was overly enamored with this. At all.

“Human Target.” Yesterday, I said this was the one I was a bit optimistic about. Less so after the video, even though a clip also featuring Tricia Helfer can’t be all bad (but in this case, it ain’t much good).

“Brothers.” See, cause the doors close on the wheelchair brother. Hilarious! The father is a tough old man not altogether respected by his family. Comedy! Dysfunctional family. Hijinks!

If anyone needs me, I’ll be beating both sides of my head with lead pipes, just as hard as possible.









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Comments

*plugs ears, mashes eyes shut*
Lalalalalalalalalalalalalala
ChuckisbackChuckisbackChuckisbackChuckisbackChuckisback

Posted by: Kballs at May 19, 2009 10:35 AM

Kept a running tally -
Past Life - 33 seconds
Sons of Tucson - 3:12
Human Target - 1:51
Brothers - 18 seconds.

So... No, Maybe, No and No.

I hate Fox.

Posted by: Spender at May 19, 2009 10:43 AM

God fox will put any shit on the air. Past Life looks like a retarded group of lab rats came up with the idea .
I mean do you suppose that Fox is secretly a government sponsored program to see exactly how many stupid people will tune into the shows so that they can determine who exactly to purge from society when they decide its time to take total control of the world . Only the most brain dead will be kept and all others will be systematically exterminated to prevent possible uprisings.

Posted by: gilp at May 19, 2009 10:45 AM

So Sock moved to Tuscon and adopted some kids. I'm just going to pretend Reaper is completely unaffected by this.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at May 19, 2009 10:52 AM

you know what would make this post really awesome?

if it was the 2nd part of the Lost recap.

Posted by: gem at May 19, 2009 10:53 AM

Fox is ignorant all around.

Posted by: Cindy at May 19, 2009 10:58 AM

So the Human Target folks...instead of using the halfway-decent plot device of the main guy being able to disguise himself as anyone, they went with a fancy-dancy bodyguard?

Dammit to hell.

Although my residual love for Keen Eddie still commands me to at least see the first episode.

P.S. Having Helfer in the trailer only reminds me of Burn Notice even more.

Posted by: Vermillion at May 19, 2009 11:11 AM

Dollhouse is still stuck in the Friday death slot with those horrible sitcoms as lead ins and Fringe is going against The Office and 30 Rock. Meanwhile all their reality shows and sitcoms are going against like minded crap on the other networks. Don't they realize that the fans of The Office and 30 Rock and Fringe are kind of one and the same? How is it I watch 5 hours of TV at most a week yet the shows I do watch are opposite each other?

Posted by: TylerDFC at May 19, 2009 11:13 AM

I choose to ignore everything you posted and will instead replay the entire episode of Motherboy XXX in my head.

Posted by: Julie at May 19, 2009 11:14 AM

On a more important note, when is Sons of Anarchy back?

Posted by: TylerDFC at May 19, 2009 11:14 AM

"Dr. Kate McGinn is the world's authority on past lives."

Were people really clamoring for someone to lead the way in this field?

And what the hell is wrong with that kid's hair in the video?

Posted by: Melissa at May 19, 2009 11:15 AM

Who is the Jack Black wannabe in the Sons of Tucson clip, and why would anyone want to be Jack Black?

Posted by: katy at May 19, 2009 12:18 PM

"Dr. Kate McGinn is the world's authority on past lives."

No, Shirley McClaine is, you dummies.

Also I'm with TylerDFC...I don't know how they did it but then dun fucked me again with this schedule. Thank god for hulu I guess.

Posted by: JenVegas at May 19, 2009 12:53 PM

Can I pre-nominate Brothers for "Whitest new sitcom"? I mean really--did they really use that Iglu & Hartley song in it...really!?

Posted by: Lindsay at May 19, 2009 1:09 PM

Richard Schiff, why have you forsaken us for this garbage?!

Oh, Toby. I feel so embarrassed for you.

Posted by: figgy at May 19, 2009 1:52 PM

I've never watched a Fox show. This is no time to start.

Posted by: MissNev at May 19, 2009 2:34 PM

Julie! I just saw that one. Probably the biggest buildup to a joke in Fox History. The fact that Buster has all the stuff to remind him of the accident. So good.
But more importantly, Chi McBride is back on television. If they let him steal some lines from Pushing Daisies, then it just might work.
"Played me like Boo Boo the Fool"

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at May 19, 2009 5:44 PM

Either my eyes have gone crazy, or I have to be in America to watch these clips. Oh, where lies the entertainment for your gentle, Celsius-loving friends to the north?

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at May 19, 2009 7:50 PM

I haven't read anything past the first paragraph, not a story blurb, not a comment. I cannot watch any of the videos. I am sure someone has told you already, but in case they haven't and you are wondering why, I will tell you. Where there should be a video, there is instead a little grey box with the following "THE VIDEO YOU ARE TRYING TO WATCH CANNOT BE VIEWED FROM YOUR CURRENT COUNTRY OR LOCATION." In capitals even! What has the world got against Canada? Why, Pajiba, do you embed videos from places that don't like us? Why? *sniffs* We wanna watch too.

P.S. I would look them all up at this point, but you made it sound like it's not worth it. So I won't.

Posted by: eyvi at May 19, 2009 7:50 PM

Ugh. Again with the location-locked videos. How am I supposed to know what is worth downloading because it won't air in Australia for at least 6 months after it airs in the US if I can't even watch the stinking trailers?

Posted by: rach at May 19, 2009 10:21 PM

i...am confused. having lived in tucson half a decade now, i take issue with this show featuring a) houses with two or more stories (it's all ranch houses, goddammit! i miss stairs) and b) kids wanting/needing to register for school. dude we're like 49th in the nation in terms of schoolastic aptitude. does not compute.


good god i miss the east coast.

Posted by: betsy at May 20, 2009 3:05 AM

THE VIDEO YOU ARE TRYING TO WATCH CANNOT BE VIEWED FROM YOUR CURRENT COUNTRY OR LOCATION.

THE VIDEO YOU ARE TRYING TO WATCH CANNOT BE VIEWED FROM YOUR CURRENT COUNTRY OR LOCATION.

THE VIDEO YOU ARE TRYING TO WATCH CANNOT BE VIEWED FROM YOUR CURRENT COUNTRY OR LOCATION.

THE VIDEO YOU ARE TRYING TO WATCH CANNOT BE VIEWED FROM YOUR CURRENT COUNTRY OR LOCATION.

Fuck that shit, this is the internet; IT'S ALL THE SAME FUCKING LOCATION

Posted by: James at May 20, 2009 9:13 AM