web counter
 

Not As Bad As You'd Imagine. Trust Me.

By TK | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (56)

hc1.JPG

No fucking around this time. No fake articles. No pre-April Fool’s jokes.

You’re here because you want to be here. You need to be here.

The Human Centipede compels you.

We all know the story by now. Director Tom Six’s first English-language film, Human Centipede (First Sequence) is about a doctor (Dieter Laser) who traps two ditzy American tourists (Ashley C. Williams and Ashlynn Yennie) and a Japanese businessman (Akihiro Kitamura) in his home. He uses them in his experiment to create, well, a Human Centipede, a self-sustaining creature made of three humans, each feeding the next, connected via their mouths and gastric systems. Six claims that the film is “100% medically accurate.” Also? There will be a sequel, The Human Centipede (Full Sequence), due out this December. Merry Christmas.

If anyone was into ATM, this may well change that. We’ve seen a few pictures, some pretty weird sketches, and a clip (rounded up delightfully here). Now there’s an actual trailer for the film, which will be released via IFC on April 28th, with a limited theatrical release on April 30th.

The trailer is actually… not terrible. I mean, once you get over the initial gruesomeness of the concept. It’s a little bit campy, even. It’s not red-band, so not too much is shown, just flashes. It really isn’t that bad.

Trust me.

(Source: Bloody Disgusting)









Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance

← The Mystery of Katie Holmes | Pajiba Love 04/05/10 →









Comments

we're not friends anymore.

Posted by: replica at April 5, 2010 12:38 PM

TK, you are an evil, evil person. You get all gleeful when you get to post this shit, don't you?

Posted by: lizzieborden at April 5, 2010 12:39 PM

Trust you !?
*HA* ! Famous last words
Nothing doin' TK

Posted by: Ms MoMo at April 5, 2010 12:40 PM

Okay. I'm going to go back to making dinner now.

I knew I should've picked up some rump steak.

Posted by: TSF at April 5, 2010 12:42 PM

What happened to geek news, TK? Why must you force me to ponder the possibilities of a human centipede, against all my desires to do so? It hurts, dude.

Posted by: danny at April 5, 2010 12:43 PM

Uhhhh.....

OK. Hopefully it'll make it's way out here. Sounds like the perfect date night movie.

Posted by: UncleJR at April 5, 2010 12:44 PM

The first segment is so lucky.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at April 5, 2010 12:51 PM

Man, I'd sooner paint my balls with goat blood and wave them at a hungry pitbull before I'd trust you. I'd rather stick my arm in a garbage disposal and tell an obsessive-compulsive that he has to flick every switch in the house at least a dozen times than trust you. I'd rather watch Adam Sandler starring as Virgil Tibbs in Micheal Bay's remake of "Heat of the Night" than trust you.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at April 5, 2010 12:52 PM

I'm a little disappointed. I thought you guys came up with those sketches.

Posted by: jM at April 5, 2010 12:52 PM

Trust me, he says.

HA! What are you going to tell us next, you promise you'll pull out in time?

Posted by: Wednesday at April 5, 2010 12:53 PM

Eh, it's a whole hell of a lot better than Miley Cyrus and that frakking The Last Song movie. And much more educational, I think I know what this year's Halloween costume will be.

Posted by: Kamikaze Feminist at April 5, 2010 12:58 PM

I do not Trust K. I'm just saying. And I won't watch the trailer, you can't make me. Neener.

Posted by: Katers at April 5, 2010 1:04 PM

Trust Me.

Never.

Again.

Posted by: Jerce at April 5, 2010 1:09 PM

I don't know. I haven't hated myself today yet, so this might be the chance I've been looking for to really be awash in self-loathing.

On the other hand, I like my eyes and seeing, and don't want to be permanently maimed due to TK and his promises.

Decisions, decisions.

Posted by: Lurkey Turkey at April 5, 2010 1:10 PM

i`de put that big black chick from" precious" right dab in the middle of the chain.that way the woman in the rear could just crawel inside,....have her little feet sticking out.

Posted by: laffs atu at April 5, 2010 1:12 PM

To be honest when I'd just seen the snippet on youtube and heard the concept I thought that this had the potential to be a truly stomach-churning and disturbing piece of cinema. But it just looks really silly. I'm genuinely disappointed.

Of course, I'll still watch it.

Posted by: TSF at April 5, 2010 1:24 PM

It looks awesome. I said it the first time we talked about it and I'll say it again.

It looks like a sick, twisted medical gore film with a truly nauseating concept. It's no Kansen, but what is?

Posted by: Robert at April 5, 2010 1:26 PM

*vomits*

...guh...Thank you, Lord Human Centipede. Your wretched awfulness feeds my spirit and...

*vomits*

...guh...my body. I have never felt such joy and fear as I have felt in your divine presence. I praise your...

*dry heaves*

...guh...segmented glory. Thanks be to the Human Centipede.

Posted by: superasente at April 5, 2010 1:52 PM

I clicked Play immediately.

Totally worth it.

Posted by: Kballs at April 5, 2010 1:54 PM

I still don't get why he is messing with their kneecaps. What do the knees have to do with one continuous digestive system? Why do I stay up nights fantasizing about, I mean thinking about this thing? The centipede haunts my dreams!

Posted by: Commander Strikeher at April 5, 2010 1:56 PM

Still less disturbing than Clash of the Titans in 3D.

Posted by: TD at April 5, 2010 1:56 PM

When you say "Trust me" I want to just to run away.

But of course I'm going to fucking watch it.

Posted by: Snath at April 5, 2010 2:00 PM

The worst part of that trailer was the *terrible* actressin'. Jesus.

Posted by: The Wandering Parakeet at April 5, 2010 2:02 PM

"I still don't get why he is messing with their kneecaps. What do the knees have to do with one continuous digestive system? "

Posted by: Commander Strikeher at April 5, 2010 1:56 PM


My theory is that the actors have to crawl with a costume that links underpants and headbands, so the "removal of the kneecaps" allows the actors to wear kneepads. Plus, there may be some weird "babies crawl because they don't have kneecaps yet" theory in there, too.

Posted by: BWeaves at April 5, 2010 2:04 PM

jM, I agree. I thought a talented Pajiban came up with those sketches. Sad face.

And really, those are the best diagrams a gen-U-ine surgeon can come up with for his evil plan? Shenanigans. 100% Medically Accurate, my ass. (No pun intended. And stay away from my ass, all of you.)

All that said, yeah, um, full trailer: not as horrifying as you'd expect. When the Centipede first came up on this site, I read a snippet of a review from someone who'd actually seen it at that point. The review said the movie really centers more around the "mad scientist" and his antics, not the ultra gross-out factor.

Posted by: MM at April 5, 2010 2:09 PM

I think the "kneepads" are bandages for a very debilitating surgery. There are clearly shots in the trailer of their heads/asses wrapped up like mummies with medical gauze, as well, and the sutures are pretty darn clinical in quality for a madman doing experiments in his home. So, he still sees himself as a beneficial doctor and properly bandages the wounds and sutures all the incisions.

Why do the kneecaps need to be screwed with? To stop them from ripping their faces off if they try to run away. I thought that was clear, but I thought wrong. If they had working kneecaps, they might manage to stand up. If one stands up or runs away, they very well may rip off part of their face/the other person's ass and kill the experiment.

You know what? Forget it. Horror films establish their own logic and this type of "why are there kneepads?" complaints are the same as "why don't they leave the haunted house" or "why is the killer following the teens across state lines?" It's a matter of accepting the conceit of a horror film the same way you accept that an action film will involve completely impossible car chases and explosions or a romantic comedy featuring a fat stoner getting the hot girl in the end: things that are impossible in real life but acceptable on film. Just go with the ride, people.

Posted by: Robert at April 5, 2010 2:14 PM

Of course their names are Ashley and Ashlynn.

Posted by: Whorish Mouth at April 5, 2010 2:20 PM

The more I see of this, the more I wonder if the whole thing isn't some elaborate hoax just to see what kind of sick fuck would pay money and sit in a theater for hours to watch terrible (awful) acting and a couple of dumb chicks eating some Asian guy's poo. Because I'm pretty sure you can get that online for nothing.

Posted by: Captain Tuttle at April 5, 2010 2:30 PM

I'm just glad I finally understand what those large v-shaped incisions on their faces are--those are flaps of ass skin sewn onto their face! God that makes so much sense now. What also makes sense now? Hurling myself into traffic. TTYL

Posted by: Lindsay at April 5, 2010 2:55 PM

Dieter Laser and Akihiro Kitamura's performance is
MUST SEE in this movie. GREAT ACTING in this film.

Posted by: YO at April 5, 2010 3:09 PM

Of course their names are Ashley Assley and Ashlynn Asslynn.

Posted by: Whorish Mouth at April 5, 2010 2:20 PM

Fixed it for ya.

Posted by: Human Centipede at April 5, 2010 3:18 PM

But, WHY? WHY, DAMN YOU?!

Posted by: Lurkey Turkey at April 5, 2010 3:25 PM

Just when I thought Pajiba April fool's madness was over and safe to come back . . . .

On the other hand, DeistBrawler, your comment was priceless. It's become my earworm of the day (beats the hell out of a centipede.)

Posted by: NeoCleo at April 5, 2010 3:42 PM

How do they decide who gets to be segment 1? Draw straws? That would suck ass (well, for 2 of them at least).

Posted by: Mick J at April 5, 2010 3:50 PM

pussies.
geep is SO there.

Posted by: gp at April 5, 2010 3:52 PM

Wait, is 100% Medically Accurate the movies tagline?

Posted by: coryo at April 5, 2010 4:08 PM

gp

Finally! Someone will go see this with me! Are you coming to the UK or am I going over state side?

Posted by: TSF at April 5, 2010 4:18 PM

and a couple of dumb chicks eating some Asian guy's poo. Because I'm pretty sure you can get that online for nothing.
Posted by: Captain Tuttle at April 5, 2010 2:30 PM

I have to wonder, did they use the chicks from 2 Girls, 1 Cup? It's a no brainer, really. Just Google it if you don't know what I'm talking about.

Posted by: Xtreme at April 5, 2010 4:27 PM

Dammit, forget 2 Girls 1 Cup. As long as we're bringing up things NO ONE should ever see, EVER, there's a picture on DListed today that has made me queasier than the Human Centipede ever could.

I see it when I close my eyes. I see it when I open my eyes. I'll never eat again. (At least I'll be skinny!) I can never unsee it. It will haunt me forever.

Posted by: MM at April 5, 2010 4:39 PM

is this procedure covered under the new healthcare bill?

Posted by: chrisgio at April 5, 2010 4:58 PM

is this procedure covered under the new healthcare bill?

Yeah, but it's elective so you'll have to get on a waiting list and the quality won't be as good.

Posted by: Dangerous Dave at April 5, 2010 5:39 PM

O Thou Centipede, the sight of you makes me nauseous with holy fear. Please accept the sounds of my retching as a song of praise unto thy terrible countenance(s).

Posted by: Jelinas at April 5, 2010 7:49 PM

So, what happens to segments 2 or 3 if they vomit, because you know they will at some point. Wouldn't they at some point just choke to death on the previous segment's shit.

I think the kneecaps missing just prevent escape, assuming they could coordinate movement enough to 'run' away.

Posted by: Viking at April 5, 2010 8:29 PM

This kind of looks like a subplot of a Star Wars review by Mr. Pinklett.

Posted by: Sofía at April 5, 2010 8:38 PM

Eh..the trailer for A Serbian Film makes Centipede look like Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm.

Posted by: stryker1121 at April 5, 2010 8:55 PM

Possible tag lines better than "100% Medically Accurate".

Based on true events

Don't try this at home

Based on the novel by Nicholas Sparks

The first film in the "Shit Eaters Trilogy"

Your pain is the next one's dinner

From the directors of 2 girls 1 cup comes a story of redemption, love, hate, and some poop

The Obamacare House of Horrors Presents...

Three strangers make the bond of a lifetime, in 3D!

Posted by: schrome at April 5, 2010 9:16 PM

From IMDB's Human Centipede (First Sequence) trivia page: " Some scenes of the movie are so controversial, some people walked out during test screenings."

So I'm guessing they don't like rom-coms?

Posted by: Uriah Creep at April 5, 2010 9:34 PM


Oh holy God that was just...brr. I'm seriously shuddering in utter disgust right now. There is absolutely no way you could EVER get me to watch this. NOT EVER.

So you had better do a real-time review, you sick bastard.

Fuck. I think I'll need a few hours of cat videos to get over that shit. FUCK. FUUUUUUUUCK.

Posted by: figgy at April 5, 2010 9:46 PM

"How do they decide who gets to be segment 1? Draw straws? That would suck ass (well, for 2 of them at least).

Posted by: Mick J at April 5, 2010 3:50 PM"

Forget the kneecaps, this is what I was wondering. He gets to speak, he doesn't have to ingest human waste and he gets to look at things that aren't the top of someone's ass for the rest of his life. That guy hit the jackpot, relatively speaking.

Also, I'm far more offended by the horrible acting than I am the concept. Then again, I guess you were never going to get Daniel Day-Lewis for an ass-to-mouth horror film.

Posted by: Steve at April 5, 2010 10:25 PM

Daniel Day Lewis no. But Michael Caine and Eugene Levy were THIS close.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at April 5, 2010 10:35 PM

IMDB recommends that if I liked Human Centipede, I may also like Lost In Translation, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and the Chevy Chase classic, European Vacation.

Yeah... sounds about right.

Posted by: Gilligiggle at April 5, 2010 11:20 PM

Mrcreosote, you just cracked my shit up.

Posted by: MM at April 6, 2010 12:09 AM

I think this is what we get for complaining Hollywood has no new ideas. I'm a horror fan but not of the surgery /torture variety so I'll be passing on this one. But I will say the evil doctor dude is giving off a serious Jeffrey Combs/Udo Kier vibe during that preview. Which makes me want to see this even less.

It looks like the western version of a Guinea Pig movie. That would be the Japanese gore series that Charlie Sheen saw and thought was an actual snuff film. I've read descriptions and again, no urge to see it. Ever.

Posted by: TylerDFC at April 6, 2010 6:36 AM

I saw this movie at Fantastic Fest in Austin, TX last year, and it's not as bad as you might think. Most of the gross stuff is suggested, rather than shown, and the guy that plays the doctor does a great mad scientist.

Posted by: Steve at April 6, 2010 9:39 AM

Oh, and for the people who are wondering about the kneecap removal, he does that to prevent them from running away.

Posted by: Steve at April 6, 2010 9:42 AM

awww, april 28th is my birthday.. barf

Posted by: roodle at April 6, 2010 1:21 PM