Trailer Roundup: The Elusive Bruce Willis Has Emerged From His Solitude To Gift Us With Movies!

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Trailer Roundup: The Elusive Bruce Willis Has Emerged From His Solitude To Gift Us With Movies!

By Jodi Clager | Trailers | January 24, 2013 | Comments ()


I've seen the A Nightmare On Elm Street remake. Rooney Mara has her bored and mumbling face and her scared face. Then in The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo she was pretty amazing, actually. Now Mara has all of these movies she's working on and it seems like she just mumbles her way through all of these performances. Here she is mumbling through the trailer for Side Effects, which looks a bit more interesting than the synopsis of a couple dealing with the wife taking a new medication and having side effects. Jude Law gets to use his real accent as Mara's doctor, Catherine Zeta-Jones wears glasses to look smart, and Channing Tatum is there as the husband.

Sandra Bullock doesn't mumble. She enunciates, yo. Especially when she plays one of her control freak FBI characters, like she does in The Heat with Melissa "Way More Talented Than My Cousin" McCarthy. We've seen one trailer for this good cop/insane cop movie and now we have the international NSFW cut.

Poor Bruce Willis. He hardly makes any movies anymore. He really needs you to see A Good Day to Die Hard in theaters, as this television promo attests. Bruce Willis needs your love and adoration. Please give by seeing this rarely glimpsed actor's movies in the theater. Willis is so elusive, so prone to choosing only high quality scripts, that when he does pop his shiny dome out of his private life to make movies, you have to savor them like fine wine. Look into your heart and help in letting Willis know that we want him in all of the movies and not just a mere 90% of them by seeing A Good Day to Die Hard or G.I. Joe: Retaliation. I guess you could also see Red 2. Or Sin City: A Dame To Kill For. He needs the reassurance and his daughters need more funds for their lifestyles.

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Another elusive actor, James Franco, can be seen in this television spot for Oz: The Great And Powerful. Michelle Williams is so beautiful that it makes me question why I bother leaving the house.

Did you know that Nicholas Hoult is in a movie called Jack the Giant Slayer? That Bryan Singer directs him in it? Hoult plays Jack, the unlikely hero when giants invade his village.

I can't wait until all of these hit Netflix Instant!

Jodi Clager is also HBIC for product review blog Hot Ink and has a Twitter she barely updates. Do you think Bruce Willis is also making movies while wearing Jason Statham's skin?

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • Ben

    Wait is that saying that Die Hard is R rated?

  • Pinky McLadybits


  • Fabius_Maximus

    That remix of "Seven Nation Army" sounds pretty good. Does anyone know who did it?

  • csb

    Glitch Mob

  • Fabius_Maximus


  • badkittyuno

    Don't worry Bruce. I'm going to watch the fuck out of the new Die Hard movie.

  • AudioSuede

    I love me some Rooney Mara. That girl has chops. Masterful chops.

    And eyeballs!

  • lowercase_ryan

    I read that as GI Joe: Retardation.

  • Pinky McLadybits

    Close enough.

  • marigi

    I wonder if this Oz movie will be that one film for which people have such terribly low expectations that it will turn out to be a great (or merely pleasing) movie. Sort of a John Carter, at least for me.

  • Bert_McGurt

    That Willis guy is so infrequently seen - it's almost like he's a ghost or something.

  • zeke_the_pig

    Bruce who? Fuck off with your constant reactionary championing of unknown indiefare actors. I WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THE STARS DAMMIT!

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