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Trailer Round-Up: Beyonce is Singer, Actress, Mother, And Director Of Her Own Damn Documentary

By Jodi Clager | Trailers | January 15, 2013 | Comments ()


beyonce.jpg

The Ghost Team One trailer, well, I am not even going to attempt to describe the movie's premise. Instead I will paste the description: "In early 2012, filmmaker Billy Chen answered a Craigslist ad looking for someone to document possible paranormal behavior. What he found were two sexually retarded friends scheming to impress a beautiful woman who believed their house was haunted. They were willing to face their darkest fears to get in her pants. She was determined to speak with the dead. No one was prepared for the demon whore they found instead. This film is not for those with weak hearts or strong genitals. Please protect yourself accordingly."

Trailer is NSFW and I should point out that I didn't even crack a smile while viewing it. Your crack my vary.

That was...something, eh? Onward we bravely push, toward the trailer for The End Of Love. Mark Webber stars as Mark, a man who has lost his child's mother and is left caring for their 2-year-old son Isaac (played by Mark's real son Isaac Love). We have the male struggling to grow up and understand how his life and choices affect his son while also courting a single mother (Shannyn Sossamon). I wonder if she is playing a woman named Shannyn and if her child is named Audio Science. Hmm. Anyway, the movies releases in iTunes on January 21st and will have limited theater release March 1st.


Finally, we have Beyonce directing her own documentary Life Is But A Dream for HBO. Beyonce directing means we get only what she wants seen, par for the course with her. Judging from the trailer, we also get lots and lots of close-ups, spinning camera shots, and voice-overs about her struggles. I am extremely nosy, so I cannot wait to watch this. I don't think anything shocking or even remotely surprising will be revealed, but February 16th is the premiere and I will be watching.

Have any of these piqued your interest?







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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • Kati

    So, I have to ask - are those earrings spelling out some slang shorthand for babymama, or is she just a University of Alabama fan?

  • mats19

    Really.... Obama she's a huge supporter

  • Quatermain

    That first trailer sounded vaguely interesting, in a trashy Piranha 3DD kind of way, but as soon as I saw they were using that sad tired old 'found footage' gimmick, I lost the little bit of interest I had.

    Aslo, that header picture makes Beyonce look like a vampire.

  • googergieger

    Da fuck is the point of making a documentary about yourself? Even Tyra Banks hasn't made a documentary about herself. That is how effin pathetic it is.

  • Lemon_Poundcake

    Shhh! Don't give Tyra any ideas.

  • poopnado

    I was trying to roll my eyes, but I am extremely excited for this. Beyonce seems like one of the hardest working artists out there. Yes, she is extremely out of touch with what it actually means to "struggle", but I'm excited to see all the behind-the-scenes footage, and I always love getting an insider's view on what it's like to be that famous.

  • ,

    Please explain what you mean by "hard working" in a way that won't insult miners, soldiers and construction workers.

  • poopnado

    I said "one of the hardest working artists". Right, she would fall apart in a coal mine. She would also suck at my job. And being president. Have I fixed my insult?

  • SeaKat Stabler

    Also LaineyGossip (I think it was Lainey?) shared a quote from a designer that Beyonce and Solange are the only celebs that always dry-clean borrowed finery and include a thank you note*.

    Damn it, I kind of want to hate her but I am a sucker for manners like that.

    She may be up her own ass, but at least she has noblesse oblige.

    *I KNOW it's an admin/PA doing it for her. But they probably don't do it on their own initiative.

  • Viking

    I realize my current mood is colored by jealousy when I think about comparing my bank account to hers, but I have kept this to myself too long: Regarding Beyonce: I don't get why she is a celebrity outside of her and her parents dogged determination to make her into one. I agree that she can carry a tune and has a pretty face. But she can not act her way out of a paper bag, She frequently wears outfits that look like something a three-year old playing dress up backstage in a Vegas dressing room would put together. She gives me the impression she has been mired in the hype of Hollywood and celebrity ass-kissing for so long that she believes she is the Queen of Sheba. I hate the canned, shitty, overly-produced music she puts out. There is a cartoonish, boing-ing sound in the background on Single Ladies that irritates the crap out of me. I can not fathom why it was added to the song. It would be tolerable without it, but something tells me she is the one who wanted it. She comes across as someone who is very childish for her age. Someone whose every immature, self- important whim is labeled artistic genius by the yes-men and women of the industry. It is an ugly system, celebrity. And she is not alone, to be sure there are many others: Justin Beiber as an example. His call to 911 to report the paparazzi were following him in his silver, ridiculously expensive car, while he was driving it and admitted to going over 100 mph....because they threatened his safety. Nevermind the safety of anyone else on the road with an entitled, 16 year old ass-hat driving at over 100 mph talking on his fucking cell phone.

    So yeah I guess I won't be watching her self-indulgent documentary.

  • You deserve a free pass to Valhalla for this one

  • pissant

    Ya know, I was wondering why you were getting so mad at Beyonce. She seems nice enough. But then I remembered all that shit she and Jay-Z pulled when their child was born. You don't treat a fucking hospital like a club...asshats.

  • Natallica

    Can I be your friend?

  • Puddin

    There aren't even lenses in those glasses. I hate that shit. Quit trying to make my glasses your fashion statement, dammit. I don't hobble around in blinged out crutches as an accessory.

  • poopnado

    Meh. I'm nearly blind so I need my glasses to function, but I do see them as a fashion accessory. They can accentuate your features and different styles can make a bold statement. Doesn't bother me at all when people wear them for fun. I wish I could afford to own multiple pairs to go with different outfits.

  • Puddin

    don't try and reason me out of my self-righteous indignation, you!

  • Muhnah_Muhnah

    "This film is not for those with weak hearts or strong genitals."

    My heart is strong, but so are my genitals, so this is quite a pickle for me.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    My heart is weak and so are my genitals; same dilemma.

  • InternetMagpie

    Beyonce is so beautiful I'll watch this stupid documentary.

  • Never in all my years at Pajiba have I encountered a post that contained less to pique my interest.
    I had to spend 2 minutes after reading the whole thing just re-training my eyes to see after the fungus of dull had almost consumed them.

  • InternetMagpie

    Cool story, bro.

  • ,

    Beyonce's what? "Struggles"? Was she mining coal or policing Afghanistan or working construction for a decade before she became someone who "sings" and "dances" for a living?

  • e jerry powell

    She considers not winning on Star Search when she was twelve to be a struggle.

    Not kidding.

  • dizzylucy

    You think carrying around an enormous ego all day is easy?!?!

  • It is, so long as you smile enough and remember to lift with your back.

  • lowercase_ryan

    And a vampire with freakishly strong lobes.

  • e jerry powell

    Why don't you love her?

  • lowercase_ryan

    I don't understand the question.

  • e jerry powell

    She makes her so damn easy to love!

    Okay, I'm embarrassed to say that I can quote back a few Beyonce lyrics.

  • lowercase_ryan

    the only one that comes to mind is all the single ladies, which I kind of despise.

    "if you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it" way to trivialize marriage and send a horrible message.

  • e jerry powell

    Nobody ever accused her of lyrical genius.

  • theotherone

    Dam you Ryan!

    Trailer Round-Up: Beyonce is Singer, Actress, Mother, And Director Of Her Own Damn Documentary and Vampire!

  • lowercase_ryan

    I'm never far away :)

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