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Yes, That's Helen Mirren. With a Machine Gun

By TK | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (61)

redmirren.jpg

I’m going to say something you don’t hear very often around these parts, especially from me:

I fucking love everything about this trailer. Seriously. It touched me in that funny place. Down there. You know what I’m sayin’?

Red is based on the little-known 3-issue comic series from DC Comics by Warren Ellis, about a retired CIA operative (Bruce Willis), living a peaceful life in the country. A new administration decides that he knows too much and tries to kill him, resulting in him getting his old team of fellow retirees back together for some mayhem. The trailer plays it much more lightheartedly than the comic, and seemingly with less brutal violence, but I don’t care — it looks entertaining as hell. It’s directed by Robert Schwentke, who seems an odd choice — he’s probably most well-known for directing The Time Traveler’s Wife and Flightplan. Substantially more high-concept than this.

But the cast is a monster — Willis, Dame Helen Mirren (and can I just say that the shot of her with the machine gun made me tingly), John Malkovich, Morgan Freeman, Mary Louise Parker (oh… oh goodness yes), and Karl Urban.

Oh, it also stars Ernest Borgnine, Rebecca Pigeon, Julian McMahon, and Richard Dreyfuss.

Not good enough? OK. Let’s throw in Brian Fucking Cox.

I mean, holy shit. That is a cast for the ages. There’s so much awesome in it — Malkovich at his Malkovichiest kind of crazy, Morgan Freeman as a velour-clad old lecher, Mary Louise Parker’s very existence… Fuck it, enough jibber jabber. Watch it. Tell me you don’t love it. Just try.


(Source: Slashfilm)









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Comments

I ... I don't ... It's a comic book movie? And I want it? And not just want it: Want it NOW?

October 15? Shit.

*sets alarm*

Posted by: , at June 24, 2010 10:44 AM

Something tells me Dame Helen has handled bigger guns than that in her time, if you know what I mean and I think that you do.

Posted by: , at June 24, 2010 10:46 AM

The throat punch with the hand bag really kind of sealed the deal for me.

Posted by: admin at June 24, 2010 10:48 AM

I don't get the love for Helen Mirren. That's right...I said it.

As for the movie. It's awesome to see old people kick ass, but I'm waiting for the "I'm too old for this," or, "I've fallen and I can't get up," types of jokes that are likely to make an appearance.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at June 24, 2010 10:49 AM

i'm tingly in places that i didn't know got tingly!

Posted by: karen at June 24, 2010 10:49 AM

HOT DAMN! I just told Mrs. , we had a movie date for 10/15, and started to read the cast:

Me: "Bruce Willis ..."

Mrs. ,: "Oh, is this 'RED'?"

It's why I love her, folks. One of the reasons.

Posted by: , at June 24, 2010 10:50 AM

Hell yeah, that looks damn fantastic.

Posted by: Rykker at June 24, 2010 10:52 AM

Looks solid. I have been meaning to pick up the comic for a while now. It's good to have a little incentive.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at June 24, 2010 10:54 AM

Ooooh. That trailer is quite terrific. I hope that the movie is equally enticing.

Posted by: tamatha at June 24, 2010 10:58 AM

I don't get the love for Helen Mirren. That's right...I said it.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at June 24, 2010 10:49 AM
---
You will when you're my age.

The rest of your comment represents a valid fear, however.

Posted by: , at June 24, 2010 11:00 AM

. . . FUCK. AND. YES.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at June 24, 2010 11:02 AM

Also? I love that they included the Academy Award info for the actors who have awards/nominations. Hee! 'Cause action films like this are all about the award-level quality of acting the players bring to the table.

Posted by: tamatha at June 24, 2010 11:02 AM

Besides, Bruce Willis kicking Karl Urbans ass?

I kind of lost respect for the badass Bruce when this happened:
http://llamabutchers.mu.nu/archives/Willis%20Vacation.jpg

Not to mention Die Hard 4. During which he went from an average everyday joe to a fucking superhero. I can take down a fighter jet with a semi! Woohoo! Go me!

Posted by: DeistBrawler at June 24, 2010 11:03 AM

You had me at Hellen Mirren with a gun.

Posted by: luvtheshoes at June 24, 2010 11:05 AM

I am unfamiliar with the comic (not terribly surprising, I know), but this looks JUST FANTASTIC to me. Does it contain old jokes? Would they put them in the movie if it doesn't? Anyone? Where is that Vermillion character when you need him?

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at June 24, 2010 11:21 AM

I want to take that trailer into the backseat and get it pregnant. Love at first sight.

Now we know what it's going to take for a comic book movie to be nominated for Best Picture at the Oscars: repeatedly Oscar-nominated actors. Why hasn't anyone put that together before? Oh, right, The target audience doesn't give a damn.

Posted by: Robert at June 24, 2010 11:21 AM

I hate this kind of movie and I WANT TO SEE THIS.
It's amazing what good actors can do. I just watched a clip of Bristol Palin "acting" and I use that term loosely, and boy do you appreciate a decent actor after you've seen a bad one.

Also, can someone give me the number of Dame Mirren's makeup artist, please?

Posted by: BWeaves at June 24, 2010 11:32 AM

Ohhhh yes. My life has been sorely lacking some Malkovich.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at June 24, 2010 11:35 AM

I'm not entirely sure, but I think that trailer just got my eyes drunk in order to slip past them and take my brain to bed.

Cheeky monkey.

Posted by: C.C. Divine at June 24, 2010 11:41 AM

Yay! Yes I am excited enough to use exclamation points. I think this is going to be fantastic.

Posted by: androstarr at June 24, 2010 11:41 AM

Tracer Bullet, this is annoyingly similar to your comment, so I plan on holding a grudge because you posted first. And I plan on holding it forever.

However, here is my comment on the trailer.

Fuckin. Yes.

Posted by: A-schaef at June 24, 2010 11:58 AM

Funsies!

Posted by: Julie at June 24, 2010 12:02 PM

I don't get the love for Helen Mirren. That's right...I said it.

Holy shit, you've never seen "Excalibur"?!?!?!?

("The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & Her Lover" is nice to look at too. Why was I watching that when I was 12 though? What an arty kid, jeepers)

Posted by: Jay at June 24, 2010 12:04 PM

I am unfamiliar with the comic (not terribly surprising, I know), but this looks JUST FANTASTIC to me. Does it contain old jokes? Would they put them in the movie if it doesn't? Anyone? Where is that Vermillion character when you need him?

The comic itself is quite GRIMDARK and depressing as hell. The character Willis is playing (I assume) is rightfully considered a walking war crime. It was three issues of murder, murder, and muffins. Oh wait, sorry...murder.

It was one of Ellis' less inspired works, which is kinda the reason I didn't like it as much. I like when Warren is being a cheeky deconstructionist bastard (I will not describe the stuff I did to my body after reading NextWave. it was....not pretty). It is fairly straight forward, and doesn't really have any of the trademark Ellis wit, and no real bones on it. If any book of his had to be changed by Hollywood, this one would be better than if they fucked with Planetary.

If any fanboys got a problem with that, they can bite it. I would like to see what someone can do with a fairly rote comic like Red to make it more interesting. The trailer looks to be going in the right direction. Funny, it actually looks more like a Ellis book than the actual book does.

All I want to know is...does Freeman say motherfucker?

If he does, my ticket is bought.

Posted by: Vermillion at June 24, 2010 12:07 PM

That trailer just got my brain pregnant, and then got my mind baby pregnant.
As for the "Old Guy (Gal)" jokes, I didn't really get that feeling. They look like they "Still got it" and just want to use it again. And it makes sense to me, with the aging demographic of the Boomers, to see movies like this. We'll probably see more soon. But at least this team will have a little, dare I say, nuance?
And besides: Ernest Borgnine?! Are you kidding me?
Ernest Fucking Borgnine?!?!
I hope he fires off a machine gun or two too.

Posted by: Odnon at June 24, 2010 12:18 PM

Most perplexing to me is the fact that Willis is referred to as "Grandpa." Shit, I feel old.

Posted by: Neo at June 24, 2010 12:23 PM

Posted by: C.C. Divine at June 24, 2010 11:41 AM

Heeee hee hee hee.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at June 24, 2010 12:26 PM

Oh God yes.

Posted by: Kiddo at June 24, 2010 12:27 PM

And just to up my nerd cred in these parts, I worked on the unseen TV pilot for "Global Frequency". I was the Russian Ex-Pat with the explosive microchip in his head.
Got to meet Mr Ellis. Charming fellow.
Hung out with Michelle Forbes too.
Let the adulation begin.

Posted by: Odnon at June 24, 2010 12:34 PM

mmm...Karl Urban.

That is all.

Posted by: Vi at June 24, 2010 12:34 PM

KARL URBAN. Mmm.

He's #7 on my list. I have 10 on my list. That man is delicious.

Posted by: figgy at June 24, 2010 12:43 PM

And oh this looks SO much fun.

Posted by: figgy at June 24, 2010 12:47 PM

While I'm all HELLS YEAH over the trailer

a cast for the ages

Does NOT always equal a good movie. (See: Mars Attacks)

Posted by: mswas at June 24, 2010 12:51 PM

This does look pretty awesome, but trailers have fooled me before (shakes fist at "Terminator: Salvation"). I'll wait until the actual movie comes out and it gets reviewed here before I get genuinely enthusiastic.

Posted by: Slash at June 24, 2010 1:04 PM

And just to up my nerd cred in these parts, I worked on the unseen TV pilot for "Global Frequency". I was the Russian Ex-Pat with the explosive microchip in his head.

If you are lying, I will come to your home and beat you with a half-brick in a sock.

Otherwise, that is awesome! Tell us more!

Posted by: Vermillion at June 24, 2010 1:07 PM

No lie.
They shot the pilot in Vancouver. Had great hopes. Internets were buzzing. But it couldn't get off the bubble. Warren Ellis was around for a week or so.
Quite a presence. Don't really remember a lot of what we talked about. But he was quite enthusiastic about it.
Are we friended on the FB? I just put a picture up.

Posted by: Odnon at June 24, 2010 1:16 PM

Here. I'm the 'splodey guy. You can probably find more there too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uWPrl5SZjs

Posted by: Odnon at June 24, 2010 1:23 PM

Posted by: Odnon at June 24, 2010 1:24 PM

That is the most awesome shit that I have ever been privy to.

I actually downloaded the screener some time ago. It was messed up that it didn't even get broadcast. Talk about too good to last; it was too good to exist.

You did a great job, by the way.

Posted by: Vermillion at June 24, 2010 1:32 PM

" it was too good to exist" I agree 100%.
It would have made a great series. No idea why it didn't go.
It was one of the most awesome things I have been a part of.
Thanks! My day actually just got made too.

Posted by: Odnon at June 24, 2010 1:38 PM

Agreed: that's a mighty impressive cast.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at June 24, 2010 2:00 PM

*sigh*
I love Bruce Willis. Love him.
That is all.

Posted by: popejenn at June 24, 2010 2:02 PM

see this?
this is geep's EXTREME ERECTION.

Posted by: gp at June 24, 2010 2:09 PM

I actually squealed while watching this. Squealed.

HELEN MIRREN WHY IS EVERYTHING YOU DO AWESOME.

Posted by: teacupnosaucer at June 24, 2010 2:23 PM

Promising,very promising...

Posted by: vllach at June 24, 2010 2:41 PM

Here. I'm the 'splodey guy. You can probably find more there too.

That's some cool stuff, man.

Posted by: Rykker at June 24, 2010 3:26 PM

I saw this trailer via Warren Ellis' website, and according to him, though the script is lighter and much expanded from the novella, it's still tight. So that in combination with the trailer makes me hope for a gleeful, gleeful win.

Posted by: Kalexal at June 24, 2010 4:49 PM

Fuuuuuuuuuuuck Me!!!

This is the movie that Heigl/Kutcher/Cruz/Diaz were trying to make. This movie owns all of those bitches who can now go and hang their heads in shame.

Mirren? Are you kidding me? Freeman!?!

MALKOVICH!?

*Dies*

Posted by: greer at June 24, 2010 6:35 PM

There IS a god. And he is good. Not as good as Helen Mirren with a machine gun though. And that naughty look on MLP's face when Helen pulls that big gun out of her bag? That's the stuff fanfic is made of.

Posted by: joker at June 24, 2010 7:02 PM

Why is Hollywood forcing me to go see something? Mirren. Ellis. CANNOT RESIST.

Oh, and the comic was actually from Avatar, specifically Ellis' creator-owned Apparat imprint. DC would NEVER have this much violence. Unless it was Geoff Johns and there were arms to be ripped off. And if it was a beloved silver age character thought of as innocent.

Posted by: JLRoberson at June 24, 2010 7:10 PM

What fills my pedantic gamer's heart with joy about this article? That the banner picture shows Helen Mirren with an actual machine gun, not a misnamed assault rifle or (and this really cracks my bolt lock) submachine gun.

It's a small complaint for some, no radar blip at all for others, but the thing I hated most about the Grindhouse-hype was how everyone went on about Rose McGowan's machine gun leg, oblivious to its being an assault rifle/grenade launcher. (With a rocket mount?! Yes, with a rocket mount!)

I've yet to see that movie, and I know I'll be seething about how she never reloads her leg when I do, but an audience that doesn't know an M16A2/M203 when they see it deserves no better, suppose.

"Machine gun leg." Bet they'd say Vera's just a gun, too.

I wish I could not let it bother me. I worry that if Helen Mirren was actually armed with an assault rifle in that picture, it would still've been called a machine gun.

But she wasn't, and the nomenclature stands, and I'll smile about this all night.

Plus, there's a good Aerosmith song in the soundtrack. Shiny!

Posted by: Baldo at June 24, 2010 7:46 PM

Flava Malkovitch!

Posted by: The Mutt at June 24, 2010 7:48 PM

i'm all fuckin goosebumpy. thats our summer blockbuster we didnt get this summer.

How in hell did they get so much awesome into the cast.

i was gonna try an think of something clever or excited to say, but i think i'll take a second run through that trailer.

jippety!

Posted by: idleprimate at June 24, 2010 8:26 PM

man I don't care that there's a 43 year age difference. I would do unrepeatable things to Helen Mirren

Posted by: Ben at June 24, 2010 9:23 PM

ohGodDAMN!

Buncha old farts, showin' the kiddies how it's done?

I AM SO THERE. WITH BELLS ON!

Posted by: bjs1109 at June 24, 2010 9:36 PM

While I will admit this does look pretty good in my opinion it is only Red in name.

Posted by: mightyboosh at June 24, 2010 9:44 PM

to those that were waiting for Mirren with a gun, and those that don't get Mirren, what was the name of that movie where she is a hitman and Cuba Gooding junior is her fuck bitch and protege?

My years are piling up, but not so much that i normally go randy on the senior set, but, I'll make an exception for the Helen.

Posted by: idleprimate at June 24, 2010 9:47 PM

idleprimate, that'd be Shadowboxer:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0396857/

From Lee Daniels, the same fellow who brought us Precious.

Posted by: Another Jen at June 25, 2010 2:07 AM

that'd be the one

Posted by: idleprimate at June 25, 2010 5:13 AM

I am familiar with the comics, and this looks dire. Why was it necessary to rewrite it as a comedy - do we need another version of The A-Team? Oh, wait - it's another crappy Bruce Willis vehicle, complete with 'wisecracks'.

Helen Mirren looks to be on autopilot for the cheque. (Yes, I am British, so I don't automatically bow down at the mention of her name.)

In my world, Hollywood consistently takes great comics and turns them into lousy movies. Reading the comments above, it's as though I've strayed into some strange parallel universe.

I feel very alone now.

Posted by: Paul Bowes at June 25, 2010 8:47 AM

"Dame Helen Mirren (and can I just say that the shot of her with the machine gun made me tingly"

Amen, brother. AMEN.

Was anyone jealous of the dude she pistol-whips??

Posted by: Todd G. at June 28, 2010 11:12 AM