Just a Feast of Gore and Blood, We Bite
Anyway, they follow a simple formula: A has-been star, a series of never-were and never-will-be stars, some sort of scientific experiment gone wrong, horrendous CGI, a plot slapped together by a drunken four-year old. Put a cap on it, shake vigorously, and boom! Instant crapulent science fiction movie. They look like they cost about a buck and a quarter, although that estimate might be a buck too high.
Anyway, here's the trailer for the newest slice of awful, Mega Piranha (oh, right. They all have hyperbolic titles that use Mega- or Giant- or Super-something). It stars Tiffany Darwish (yes, that Tiffany), Barry Williams (aka Greg Fucking Brady), Paul Logan, and... oh, who gives a fuck who else is in it. It's Tiffany and Greg Brady and giant goddamn piranha. And it looks awful. No, seriously. Watch this clip:
I mean, damn. The death is stolen unashamedly and directly directly from Deep Blue Sea, except that it's telegraphed completely because of the fucktarded effects. And that kicking bit? I was almost in tears. I am literally giddy.
Yeah, I said giddy, motherfuckers.
Get entertainment, celebrity and politics updates via Facebook or Twitter. Buy Pajiba merch at the Pajiba Store.