Just a Feast of Gore and Blood, We Bite

By TK | Trailers | April 9, 2010 | Comments ()

By TK | Trailers | April 9, 2010 |

Anyway, they follow a simple formula: A has-been star, a series of never-were and never-will-be stars, some sort of scientific experiment gone wrong, horrendous CGI, a plot slapped together by a drunken four-year old. Put a cap on it, shake vigorously, and boom! Instant crapulent science fiction movie. They look like they cost about a buck and a quarter, although that estimate might be a buck too high.

Anyway, here's the trailer for the newest slice of awful, Mega Piranha (oh, right. They all have hyperbolic titles that use Mega- or Giant- or Super-something). It stars Tiffany Darwish (yes, that Tiffany), Barry Williams (aka Greg Fucking Brady), Paul Logan, and... oh, who gives a fuck who else is in it. It's Tiffany and Greg Brady and giant goddamn piranha. And it looks awful. No, seriously. Watch this clip:

I mean, damn. The death is stolen unashamedly and directly directly from Deep Blue Sea, except that it's telegraphed completely because of the fucktarded effects. And that kicking bit? I was almost in tears. I am literally giddy.

Yeah, I said giddy, motherfuckers.

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