Trailer For Christina Ricci's Lizzie Borden Movie Is Good For More Than 40 Whacks
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Trailer For Christina Ricci's Lizzie Borden Movie Is Good For More Than 40 Whacks

By Joanna Robinson | Trailers | December 16, 2013 | Comments ()

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From Lifetime, the that brought you Restless Virgins and Teenage Bank Heist comes a new biopic called Lizzie Borden Took An Ax. Actually, Lifetime has been trying to up their game a bit recently. Liz and Dick might have been a huge joke (it was), but between Christina Ricci’s turn as the famous 19th century ax murderer Lizzie Borden, Queen Latifah’s Steel Magnolias, the cross-promoted Bonnie & Clyde</a> and Sally Draper in Flowers In The Attic, you can tell they’re trying to stretch outside their usual Buttafuoco comfort zone.

Of course, if you think about it, Lizzie Borden, the girl who ax murdered her father and her stepmother in the 1890s, isn’t all that far off from the Amy Fishers or Tonya Hardings of the word. She was the original tabloid queen. Lizzie Borden Took An Ax starring Christina Ricci premieres on January 25th.

Oooh, looks like they added a hint of incest. That’s just what an ax murder scandal needs to become, Oedipus II: Electra Boogaloo.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • EthanLutske

    It might not matter anymore, but its worth noting that its pretty much 100% certain that Lizzie Borden didn't kill her parents. No one seems to remember that she was, in fact, acquitted of the crime due to the charge against her not making any sense. For a quick summary, check out the Lizzie Borden chapter in Bill James' Popular Crime. It's just an unsolved case and this poor girl had her life ruined.

    Not trying to be a deputy downer, but it does suck that this girl's memory is permanently associated with something she not only didn't do, but is actually a victim of (I mean, it was her parents who were killed). Just struck me the wrong way to see you say she committed this crime, as though its 100% fact.

  • Aaron Schulz

    yeah but reading stuff and having facts doesnt make good headlines

  • hoppergrass

    Especially the simplistic description of her as a 19th century Amy Fisher or Tonya Harding. Even allowing for the (historically inaccurate) presupposition that she did kill her parents, her motives would almost certainly have been a bit more complex than that.

  • zeke_the_pig

    I'd let Ricci take her axe to me any time.

  • lowercase_ryan

    I think I really would let her punch me square in the face. I mean, she's super tiny right?

  • Mrs. Julien

    And you'd supply the whacking?

  • zeke_the_pig

    That depends on the amount of whacks I suppose

  • Mrs. Julien

    Lizzie Borden took an axe
    And gave her mother forty whacks.
    When she saw what she had done
    She gave her father forty-one. 40 or 41 depending, maybe a combined total.

  • zeke_the_pig

    Now, my only reference for this is the Simpsons, where I believe there was also some reference to a 'wet noodle', so...

  • bastich

    ...which is the last thing you would be packing when roughhousing with Christina Ricci.

  • NateMan

    Who's got enough stamina for a cumulative count?

  • Jim

    Not to mention losing count along the way.

    "23, 24. STOP squirming, Dad. Oh shit where was I."

  • Mrs. Julien

    Plus the ax handle can begin to chafe.

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