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What Kind of Crazy Person Would Mess With Danny Trejo's Family?

By TK | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (11)



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I want to love this. I really, really do. There’s so much to love. Danny Trejo, who of late has become sort of the petrifyingly badass, tattooed mascot of the site (mostly due to our anticipation of Machete). I like Donal Logue. Well… I liked him in Blade and The Tao of Steve, anyway. It’s even got Jason Mewes, who I know annoys the hell out of a lot of people, but who I still find kind of retardedly endearing.

And I know it’s supposed to be sort of a Grindhouse-style crapfest. But it just doesn’t look particularly good. Although I have to admit — it’s kind of a poorly done trailer, on par with that hideous Kevin Sorbo flick I posted a couple of days ago. So maybe the movie’s got more promise than the trailer shows. Take a look:

Then again, maybe it’s just wishful thinking. Plus, there is a serious excess of him crying, which is just weird. Seeing Danny Trejo cry is like seeing a dog walk on it’s hind legs, or like flying a kite at night. It’s just wrong.

Honestly, they could just have 90 minutes of Danny Trejo sneering and fucking people up, and I’d probably buy into it.

Oh, one last thing that really just re-emphasizes how fucking awesome Trejo is: Last year, he was giving the movie away for free. No, seriously. Here’s his quote:

“The economy is not the greatest right now and I don’t feel good about charging movie fans 20 dollars for a DVD that they just don’t have. I want the fans to forget bout their problems for a couple of hours and enjoy a good movie. I’ll give them the movie and they get the popcorn.”

But wait, there’s more. In a surprisingly savvy marketing move, Trejo and ITN Flix, the production company, also said that people can order them in bulk ($5.99 per copy), and give them away to whoever they want. The people who gave the most copies away? Get a speaking part in the sequel. I think the deal is over with now, but still. Pretty cool.

Even if the movie looks kind of silly.

Just don’t tell him I said that, OK?









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Comments

This trailer looked like it was done by Funny or Die. By the time I saw The Trejo with wet eye-holes for, like, the fourth time, I couldn't stop laughing. It looked like a commercial for Trejo Tears (the cure for cancer and gaps in our legal system! Take that, Norris!)!

Posted by: Jelinas at May 20, 2010 10:48 AM

Wow, ummm, that looks terrible. You bet your ass I'm going to see it.

Posted by: admin at May 20, 2010 10:55 AM

Only Danny Trejo could star in the big budget wide-release Machete AND the direct to DVD rip off. It'd be like Shia LeBoeuf starring in Transformers AND Transmorphers.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at May 20, 2010 10:57 AM

Danny Trejo should play Jesus in a movie!

Posted by: Magiel at May 20, 2010 11:01 AM

I'd like to see Trejo as President Marshell in a remake of Air Force One. Be fun watching the hijackers throw themselves off the plane to get away from him.

Posted by: EricD at May 20, 2010 11:21 AM

"Remember when you told me why you're called Jack? I know what you do."

Yeah, there's really only one answer to that.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at May 20, 2010 11:33 AM

Definetly needs more Mewes. That kid cracks me up.

But seriously. If they're going with the inside joke parody crappy thing,
then 'Black Dynamite' already kicked their azz sideways to that point.

Posted by: Ms MoMo at May 20, 2010 12:37 PM

OH! Is there not room for Brown Dynamite, missy?!?

Posted by: Jay at May 20, 2010 12:44 PM

I'd like to see Trejo as President Marshell in a remake of Air Force One. Be fun watching the hijackers throw themselves off the plane to get away from him.

It would be over too quick. Rather than taking 90 minutes to get the victorious line, "Get off my plane!" Trejo would just stomp out of the meeting room, shout "Get off my plane!" and that would be that.

Although it would be fun to watch him hunt them down and butcher them for the rest of the movie.

Posted by: superasente at May 20, 2010 12:52 PM

While reviewing Delta Farce, I had to watch Danny Trejo belt out Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive." In comparison, I would gladly see this man cry.

Posted by: agent bedhead at May 20, 2010 1:00 PM

Danny Trejo should play Jesus in a movie!

Well, might as well say the obvious joke:

Nobody fucks with HIS Jesus.

Posted by: Vermillion at May 20, 2010 9:13 PM