Three Trailer Thursday: Feel It! Feel It! Feel the Vibrations! In JGL'S Pants!
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Three Trailer Thursday: Feel It! Feel It! Feel the Vibrations! In JGL's Pants!

By Jodi Clager | Trailers | August 15, 2013 | Comments ()


Up first we have a short trailer for the Joseph Gordon-Levitt-directed Don Jon, starring JGL as the titular, porn-addicted character that has to choose between skin flicks and Scarlett Johansson. I would argue that this is the finest piece of film to ever be accompanied by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch.

Next we have Queen Gorgo (Lena Headey) giving the voice-over for 300: Rise of an Empire. The sequel follows Themistocles (Sullivan Stapleton) as he battles Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro), his Persian army (various stunt people), and the vengeful Persian naval captain Artemisia (Eva Green).

Last of all comes the trailer for the film C.O.G., which is based on an autobiographical David Sedaris short story. David (Jonathon Groff) decides to take a sabbatical from his home life to work on a farm in the Northwestern U.S.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • the_wakeful

    Penny! Oh god Penny I've missed you.

  • Rooks

    Oh gee, Eva Green gives us her best excessively husky voice from the Camelot-days. That means I have to see this movie.... in three years or so when the DVD is two bucks at the video store.

  • cgthegeek

    Just once, I'd like to see a little boy cry in anguish in a trailer.

  • ironypants


  • Three_nineteen

    And Dean Stockwell! And Casey Wilson! And that actor who plays the preacher whose name I can't remember right now but who is really good!

  • Muhnah_Muhnah

    I'm quite excited about the 300 sequel (disappointed about the title though). Lena Headey brandishing a sword, Eva Green brandishing, Rodrigo Santoro brandishing...whatever, half-naked men being half-naked and hopefully at some point completely naked. Thank the gods for cinemas that serve wine!

  • Fabius_Maximus

    Yeah, because you have to be drunk to watch shite like that.

  • Muhnah_Muhnah

    Or high. Any form of intoxication is acceptable.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    Not going to pay for the movie, though. Only for the booze.

  • Sars

    I understand that 300 is utter bulshit, kind of racist, and not at all historically accurate but, seriously why does Xerxes look like a puertorican Rue Paul? I mean, the man was Persian so the least they could do was to get a persian person to play him in a not so effiminate manner.... The man was brilliant commander and ruller after all...
    Also my main problem with this movie is that most movie going public isnt that bright... I cannot tell you how many people came up to me and talked to me about the movie as if it was a proper portrayal of history...It's just so goddamn annoying.
    And on top of it all, this trailer looks like utter shit.

  • Maguita NYC

    I don't mind personally that a non-Persian actor takes on the role of Xerxes, for I believe that any actor worth his salt could deliver on the performance and have us believe no matter his ethnicity. Also, I prefer it that more and more boundaries in races and ethnicity are slowly fading away, what with inter-racial relationships and resulting children are becoming much less taboo, it is a good thing that "purity of race" is ebbing, and rightly reflected in movies.

    That being said, my problem remains with the vilifying and demeaning warriors of historical greatness because of their homosexuality. In most movies, historical warriors are often glorified for their inexorable quest and resolute in unbending conquer, especially if they were womanizers. But the moment they are bi or gay, as per accurate history, all of a sudden their achievements in setting illustriousness down the ages is somehow diminished, and the inaccurate portrayal of their sexual preference takes eminence over their historical accomplishments.

  • Sars

    ok the problem is (1) Xerxes was not gay- so portraying him as gay is inappropriate. (2) I dont understand what acceptance of bi-racial relationships has to do with anything? The fact remains that the King being portrayed was actually Persian ano not the product of a mixed race. Im not asking for purity etc, Im just wondering why he is being portrayed as an effiminate latino, when he was the complete opposite of that... I am all for doing that to a fictional character, but when you are portraying a king thats held as a hero to people of his cutlure, its very disrespectful and offensive.
    from reading your comment sounds like, you have bought into the Xerexes was gay thing-- which i guess proves my point...but go on...

  • Maguita NYC

    A quick note to answer your comment/questions.

    1. I was expressing my personal views on lack of racial accuracy, and how differently I interpret it: Evolution in accepting diversity, and a character actor's ability to take over a role no matter his ethnicity (although, let us not over-react on this, it is still a Snyder production). Also, I disagree with your interpretation of "effeminate manner" and "effeminate Latino", for although make-upped and bejeweled, I too thought the actor was quite intimidating in his portrayal of a cruel leader.

    2. Like many warriors, men in power or just plain men of his time, Xerxes had lovers from both genders, which was more than acceptable and common in both Ancient Greece and Persia.

    Most bigots hate to mention this fact cause well you know, no one wants to admit that gay people have always been around. And for centuries, it was nothing to frown about.

    Alexander had male lovers, one of them was Hephaistion. Achilles and Petroclus were lovers, nothing to clutch one's pearls about. Also pederasty was quite common during that era, and no one blinked. Not saying I'm for relations between grown men and pubescent boys, or young girls for that matter, but I am definitely not shirking any realities and opting to turn a blind eye on history.

    You can read Plato's Symposium, also anything about 7th century BC warriors, Persian Immortals and the battle of Thermopylae.

    Finally, why portraying a man as gay would be inappropriate or even offensive? There is nothing salacious, illegal, or mildly abnormal about it. Being gay would in no way diminish neither his accomplishments nor his legacy to his people. His homosexuality would be rather more accurate with the times and social class Xerxes lived in.

  • Sars

    being portrayed as gay is not offensive-- historical innacuracy is... specially since Xerxes is turned in to a caricuature of what he never WAS* in the first place.... Im offended by HISTORICAL INACCURACY ... NOT that he is portrayed as Gay. No matter, you seem to be more interested in articulating your point even if it relates so little / not at all to my post-- which was again about HISTORICAL INACCURACY... but keep doing you boo.

  • Ben

    The point of 300 both the comic and the movie is specifically to not be accurate to history. At least for the first one. (No idea how it's going to work in this one) The point is that it's a spartan soldier telling the story. Talking up how great their own dudes were and how they weren't just fighting an army but this dude commanding mythical beasts. It's all bullshit and that's the point.

    He's talking up the enemy they were fighting, turning a big dude into a hulking giant, turning a group of elite warriors into imortal assasins that can vanish into smoke. Turning war elephants into like 3 story tall behemoths Turning their leader into a 12 foot tall monster etc. It's all bullshit to hype up the soldiers at the end and get them ready for war.

    When Miller did the comics he said he didn't want to base it on what it was like in history, but on how the greeks embellished and exaggerated their stories.
    He based the art style of the comic on the pot paintings of ancient greece that they would use to embelish their stories. It's why all the soldiers are basically butt fucking naked in it because that's how greeks embellished their stories even though like any army with half a fucking brain they actually wore armor into combat.

    The entire thing is one huge unreliable narrator exagerating the fuck out of the story.

  • Ben

    also I need to find a thesaurus because I used the word embellish way too fucking much in that.

  • lowercase_ryan

    One of the many reasons I said yes to you <3

  • TheOriginalMRod

    At first glance I thought I saw "Xerxes Warrior Princess".

  • Sars

    I wish thats what the movie was called. Hell I wish thats what he was called in history haha - Although his mother Atoosa, really was a warrior princess if you read the texts.

  • Guest


  • TheOriginalMRod

    Oh yeah... definitely. I've heard people say things like "in those days..." when referring to GoT... I am like, really? You know that is fiction right? Also probably the people that think the earth is only 10,000 years old.

  • George Tarleton

    I get the non-Persian criticism, but am somewhat confused by the "in not so effeminate manner" part. I actually found his mannerisms in 300 to be rather intimidating.

    But yes, the movie was pretty much poop.

  • zeke_the_pig


  • Maguita NYC

    Don Jon has Tony Danza!!!! Loving the heavy accent on Scarlett and the ridicule machoismo on Levitt. I'm watching this one for sure.

  • $65530708

    ...and Brie Larson.

  • Maguita NYC

    Of course, how could I miss that! Although in my defense, I somehow lost concentration at the cuteness of Levitt caught watching porn...

  • $65530708

    Her expression while JGL, TD and their mom are arguing at the dinner table is perfect.

  • George Tarleton


  • xuqupyviriro

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    Oh gee, Eva Green gives us her
    best excessively husky voice from the Camelot-days. That means I have to
    see this movie.... in three years or so when the DVD is two bucks at
    the video store.

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