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Things You Don't Need to Bother Your Pretty Little Head With Part XXVII

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (9)



paranormal-activity.jpg

Here, below, is the brand-spanking new trailer for a recycled sequel to Paranormal Activity, that viral movie-theater hit of 2009, which made something like elevently trillion dollars on a $4.72 budget. The sequel, which is being produced by Oren Peli, who directed the first film, looks like the first film plus a baby. It also looks like they spent a lot more money to try and capture the cheap feel of the first film. Also, there’s no fucking way this does well — this is going to be Blair Witch 2 all over again. You can’t recapture magic with a rehashed sequel. The major appeal of the first film was that we didn’t really know what the movie was about; we just knew that people got really scared. And like any movie of this type, about half the people did legitimately get scared (me! me!), and the other half of the viewers were like, “OMG it was so boring holy shit I am so much better than everyone who got scared by that movie only a dimwit douchebag would fall for that pab-u-lum.”

Seriously, people. Do you want me to get naked and start a revolution? Because I will.










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Comments

And this is why I'll be in a movie theater yelling the following:

In the not too distant future
somewhere in time and space
Mike Nelson and his robot pals
are caught in an endless chase
Pursued by a woman whose name is Pearl
an evil gal who wants to rule the world
She threw a few things in her purse
And in her rocketship she hunts him
all across the universe.

Mary Jo: I'LL GET YOU!!!

I'll send him cheesy movies,
The worst I can find (la-la-la).
He'll have to sit and watch them all,
And I'll monitor his mind (la-la-la).

Now keep in mind Mike can't control
Where the movies begin or end (la-la-la)
He'll try to keep his sanity
With the help of his robot friends.

Robot Roll Call:

Cambot! (You're on!)
Gypsy! (Oh, my stars!)
Tom Servo! (Check me out!)
Croooow! (I'm different!)

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes
and other science facts (la-la-la),
Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a show,
I should really just relax..."
for Mystery Science Theater 3000!"

I'll do it too. I did at Blair Witch.

Posted by: Kahntahmp at October 5, 2010 9:09 AM

Seriously, people. Do you want me to get naked and start a revolution? Because I will.
---
An idle threat.

Posted by: , at October 5, 2010 10:55 AM

THE REVOLUTION DOES NOT REQUIRE YOUR NUDITY.

Posted by: The Revolution at October 5, 2010 11:20 AM

Actually, forget about the revolution.

Posted by: jason at October 5, 2010 12:45 PM

THE REVOLUTION DOES NOT REQUIRE YOUR NUDITY.

Says you.

Posted by: Dustin's Nudity at October 5, 2010 12:59 PM

Revolutions ALWAYS require nudity. Duh. I'm hoping we get to choose the nude, though.

Because (just to choose at random) Vampire Bill Compton or Viggo Mortensen would be my choice over Dustin. Just...random, stray nude-related thought.

Viva la revolucion!

Posted by: klingonfree at October 5, 2010 4:09 PM

I would MUCH rather see you start a naked revolution than Jack Black.

So the movie is connected to the first one via a photograph? Why even bother?

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at October 5, 2010 7:18 PM

While I respect a MST-ie, even those who prefer Mike to Joel, one who prefers Pearl to Clayton? Really? (Said with love)

Posted by: ellipsis at October 5, 2010 7:42 PM

While I respect a MST-ie, even those who prefer Mike to Joel, one who prefers Pearl to Clayton? Really? (Said with love)
Posted by: ellipsis at October 5, 2010 7:42 PM

Don't compare 'em ellipsis, it ain't healthy.

Besides, I went for that version theme song because I like the Robot Roll Call in it.

Posted by: Kahntahmp at October 6, 2010 8:28 AM