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Things That Are Not Twilight for $500, Alex

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (73)

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The first full length trailer for Deathly Hallows has arrived, and if I’m not mistaken, this trailer is for both Parts I and II. It might be that we’ve been looking at Twilight for so many months now that anything would look good by comparison, but I’m impressed with the trailer. I won’t remember it at all in the morning, but for the next few minutes, until it dissipates in my mind, I can marvel at the achievements portended by the trailer.

And this, folks, is a movie I wouldn’t mind paying extra to see in 3D.









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Comments

What happened to "I have a bad case of diarrhea"?

Posted by: Phat girl at June 28, 2010 8:39 PM

Oh oh oh.... yeah, I just got wood baby.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at June 28, 2010 8:42 PM

Phat girl, Rowles did the right thing, it was going to end badly, trust me.

Posted by: Pookie at June 28, 2010 8:46 PM

Musicgasm! Is this from the official soundtrack? In that case, I want it NOW.

Who's the Count Dooku/Lord Vetinari on the train tracks?

All in all the trailer looks amazing, I love that apparently they've expanded the battle of Hogwarts a crazy amount, and I can't wait to see it. A movie you don't mind paying to see it in 3d indeed.

Posted by: Linda at June 28, 2010 8:54 PM

I've watched this trailer four times now. November feels like an eternity away.

Phat girl, good question! I'd like to know too. I was ready to take immense credit for that link. Pfft.

Pookie, just how badly would it have ended? Besides running out of TP, of course. Though, I can understand any sensitivity you may have to the video. I know it can't be easy having a name that's one letter away from full fledged social embarrassment.

Posted by: Barnes78 at June 28, 2010 8:57 PM

Barnes78, in the history of the world has a discussion involving diarrhea ever ended on an up note?

Posted by: Pookie at June 28, 2010 9:10 PM

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at June 28, 2010 9:12 PM

POOKIE,

With all due respect to bodily functions, I do think the same could be asked of a play-by-play review of an Amanda Bynes film.

Posted by: Barnes78 at June 28, 2010 9:13 PM

True, true, but has an Amanda Bynes film ever ended bloody?

Posted by: Pookie at June 28, 2010 9:19 PM

That greatly reduced the amount of suck in my day. Thank you! I will be there at midnight. Twice, I guess.

Posted by: Lauren at June 28, 2010 9:34 PM

What the bloody hell is Hermione wearing in that still?

(note the switch to British-style swearing for this trailer)

Posted by: Three-nineteen at June 28, 2010 9:34 PM

Pookie,

Funny you should ask. A casual google search revealed this headline from the Hickory Daily Record in Hickory, North Carolina:

September 27, 2006

Nearly a dozen film-goers suffered internal and external hemorrhaging during a midnight showing of the new Amanda Bynes film, "She's The Man". It appears most in attendance were Shakespeare scholars who found themselves profoundly disturbed by the liberties taken in this new adaption of "Twelfth Night". Most remain in critical condition at the Frye Regional Medical Center. Names of the victims are being withheld at the request of the families. Dreamworks SKG, the company producing the film, declined to comment at this time.

Posted by: Barnes78 at June 28, 2010 9:37 PM

What the bloody hell is Hermione wearing in that still?

Posted by: Three-nineteen at June 28, 2010 9:34 PM

I believe that's the remaining portion of her Mafalda Hopkirk disguise, from when they sneak into the Ministry. The Polyjuice has worn off, but she's still wearing the clothes.

Posted by: Lauren at June 28, 2010 9:59 PM

Barnes78,

You are a worthy adversary, but I see your hospitalization story and raise you one Elvis Aaron Presley.

Posted by: Pookie at June 28, 2010 10:00 PM

Three-nineteen if I am not mistaken, the picture of Hermione is from a scene right after SPOILERS! the trio break out of the Ministry of Magic. Ron is badly hurt and Harry is helping him while Hermione starts to put up the protective charms and spells. She's wearing that jacket because she drank Polyjuice Potion which turned her into Mafalda Hopkirk.

/end nerdiness

Posted by: Scully at June 28, 2010 10:05 PM

What happened to "I have a bad case of diarrhea"?
Posted by: Phat girl

Imodium?

Posted by: Brenton at June 28, 2010 10:06 PM

I think I'll avoid seeing it in 3-D. I'm sure they'll manage to mess that up. I like my Harry Potter movies without gimmicky crap.

Posted by: ERM at June 28, 2010 10:07 PM

Jeez, how do you remember all these details like the witch's name? I literally can't remember anything in the 7th book other than them being in the tent forever and Horcruxes and the final battle. That whole trailer took me by surprise. There was a dragon on the loose in book 7? Since when?

Posted by: Mick J at June 28, 2010 10:16 PM

I am going to buy tickets for two consecutive screenings. Because I am that big of a nerd. November is TOO FAR AWAY.

Posted by: popejenn at June 28, 2010 10:17 PM

Forgot to say that when I get to see Mrs. Weasley deliver her line (you know the one), my life will be complete. I cannot wait for that moment.

Posted by: Lauren at June 28, 2010 10:27 PM

Mick J the dragon is set free by Harry & Co when they escape on it from the Gringotts vaults.

I know the details because I love listening to the audio books. I have probably listened to them a dozen times. Jim Dale does a fantastic job narrating. (I'm an accountant who looks at invoices all damn day; I've got to entertain myself somehow.)

Posted by: Scully at June 28, 2010 10:34 PM

^@Lauren -- word. one of the greatest moments in the entire damn series.

my day has sucked soggy goat balls thus far (car engine trouble and finding out i'm not eligible for financial aid next semester, AWESOME) but watching this trailer just sucked out some of the, well, suck. that was of course until i said 'i think i just peed a little' after watching it and my not-so-brilliant engineering major boyfriend said 'yeah and i think i just vomited a little.' i wish he respected the 'sleep on the goddamn floor when your woman looks at you like that' rule, but alas, he does not.

Posted by: betsy at June 28, 2010 10:39 PM

Pookie,

While I appreciate the adversarial compliment (which, to be sure, is reciprocated), don't turn around to only insult my skills by merely raising me one EAP. HA! Don't make me laugh, even though I just did.

If you're bold enough to raise the stakes then I expect, at the very least, one Tupac, one black Michael Jackson and one white Michael Jackson. My dear sir/madam, I play by Vegas standards and not suburban poker night standards.

Posted by: Barnes78 at June 28, 2010 10:56 PM

you do know that $500 is a denomination not used by jeopardy, yeah?

Posted by: kristin at June 28, 2010 10:57 PM

Betsy you're eligible. I get a kick out of listening to college girls saying they're not eligible for financial aid.

Posted by: Pookie at June 28, 2010 10:57 PM

But Tupac was given a permanent dirt nap and Jackson’s doctor eighty-sixed his ass. But the King died on the throne, and death’s name was diarrhea, or the runs.

Posted by: Pookie at June 28, 2010 11:15 PM

Your stakes, dear sir/madam, would be valid if Elvis were, in fact, deceased. I saw him just last week in Pasadena, shopping at Forever 21.

Posted by: Barnes78 at June 28, 2010 11:19 PM

2011?!!!! They are really dragging this out. Somehow the time between Matrices seemed shorter, although I didn't care so that might have been it.

Posted by: Sphaz at June 28, 2010 11:22 PM

Alas, you’ve besmirched the name of the king. I will not take part in this sordidness. The lake of fire is your destiny, repent.

Posted by: Pookie at June 28, 2010 11:33 PM

I won't be sleeping on my stomach tonight!
NERD WOOD

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at June 28, 2010 11:34 PM

I besmirched?! Correct me if I'm wrong, but it was YOU who referred to Elvis as the king as opposed to the....ahem, King. And you call yourself an obsessive compulsive fan. Pfft. Shame sir/madam, shame.

Posted by: Barnes78 at June 28, 2010 11:44 PM

Nothing of what I've seen in this trailer looks familiar whatsoever...however all I remember of the seventh book was 1000 plus pages of harry and hermione chilling in a tent...which is why I'm currently re-reading all the books.

Posted by: citizen_cris at June 28, 2010 11:51 PM

Kristin, what version of Jeopardy are you watching? The first round is always $100-$500.

Also, besmirched is a word that does not get used nearly enough. I tip my hat to you gentleman (and possibly ladies?)

Posted by: Even Stevens at June 28, 2010 11:59 PM

Your wicked ways have finally caught up with you. The King would not in any way take part in a business that would prompt the youth of our blessed country to take part in a Sodom and Gomorrah hole. Cast down ye into the fiery pit with the snakes and the sodomites.

Posted by: Pookie at June 29, 2010 12:04 AM

Ralph Fiennes in 3D.

Posted by: dia at June 29, 2010 12:06 AM

Pookie, Hey...hang on. I just...dear friend I think we may have more in common than we realize. Your rhetoric certainly indicates as much. Did you...I can't believe I'm asking this so publicly....but, did you vote for Bush as well?? Twice??

Posted by: Barnes78 at June 29, 2010 12:21 AM

OH YEA. Gringotts escape. Knew book 7 was more entertaining than just the whole stuck-in-a-tent thing. I need to re-read all the books again too, I can probably recall only about 1% of what happened in them.

Posted by: Mick J at June 29, 2010 12:22 AM

Optimus, you need a little help there? Because if the nerd in you wants to meet the nerd in me I think we could have something truly nerdtastic. And then you could sleep comfortably.

Posted by: esme at June 29, 2010 12:25 AM

That is a trick question you serpent, I only vote for righteous men.

Posted by: Pookie at June 29, 2010 12:33 AM

There's no such thing as a 'righteous man' in politics.

Posted by: Barnes78 at June 29, 2010 12:37 AM

Optimus, be not blinded by offerings of sweet nectar. Your rewards will be gained by hard work and prayer.

Posted by: Pookie at June 29, 2010 12:40 AM

Barnes78, being jaded does not lead to knowledge nor virtue.

Posted by: Pookie at June 29, 2010 12:49 AM

Jaded?!?! You cause me to laugh again! HA! What a chuckle you provide. My virtue is quite fine, thank you. How's the denial??

Posted by: Barnes78 at June 29, 2010 1:27 AM

After pride comes the fall, you demon.

Posted by: Pookie at June 29, 2010 1:33 AM

ESSSKKK!!!! Yooooooou'vvvee diiisguised yourself Father Merrin! ESSSSKKK!! ESSSKK!!! I shall flee your godly presence at once. You'll never think to find me in the midst of a girl scout troop! EESSSSKKKK!!!! EESSSKKKKK!!!!

Posted by: Barnes78 at June 29, 2010 1:47 AM

Oh, dragon.

Posted by: Morgan LaFai at June 29, 2010 1:56 AM

The power of Christ compels you!!!
The power of Christ compels you!!!
The power of Christ compels you!!!
The power of Christ compels you!!!

Posted by: Pookie at June 29, 2010 2:24 AM

Far too far away.

And I'm talking about the release of the movie, not my distance from Pookie.

I am quite comfortable being in another hemisphere thanks very much!

Posted by: general rhubarb at June 29, 2010 2:32 AM

EESSSSSKKKK!!!!! I see a long staircase in the distance. Come Father Merrin! Chase me to the steps! See if you can catch up with and stop me! MWWAHHHHHH!!! EESSK! EESSKKK! EESSK!

Posted by: Barnes78 at June 29, 2010 2:33 AM

I got chills. CHILLS. The trailers are always amazing, the movies are always meh, and yet... I will be there. Yes I will.

Posted by: kate the great at June 29, 2010 2:40 AM

WHats up with Voldy being Cap'n Cleft Palette all of a sudden?

Posted by: Camilla at June 29, 2010 3:37 AM

Hooray for diminished expectations!

Actually, that does look pretty good. Having never read the books I don't have the baggage of comparison but from my "uneducated" position, the full run of films have been pretty decent populist fun (the non Columbus adaptations at least). I'm looking forward to it.

Posted by: Squirrelgripper at June 29, 2010 3:56 AM

Wow, I am thinking an esme and Optimus hookup is a match made in HEAVEN!! The resulting nerdgasm could send a shockwave through the internet like nothing we have ever seen before...

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at June 29, 2010 4:48 AM

I too would enjoy the geektastic tidal wave of nerdiness ensuing from an esme/Opimus hook-up. However, watching Pookie and Barnes78 mudwrestle to the death would truly tickle my panther...
Team Pookie!

Posted by: cinekat at June 29, 2010 7:26 AM

A couple of items here.

Jeopardy used to have amts $100 - $500 in the first round, then they jacked it up to the current $200 - $1000.

Second, I agree with Lauren and Betsy on "the line". One of the greatest ever uttered by a charater.

Though we'll have to wait until June 2011 to hear it uttered. lol

Posted by: Uncle JR at June 29, 2010 7:41 AM

"The Battle of Hogwarts" is a fantastic chapter title, and Mrs. Weasley's line is an all-timer. That actress is gonna nail it, I can feel it.

The dingy quality of their surroundings perfectly matches what I envisioned while reading the book. Other than that dream movie with Lenny Denardio, or whatever his name is, this is the only other 2010 release that has me genuinely excited.

Posted by: Kballs at June 29, 2010 8:03 AM

Even though they are all starting to run together and the last one sucked, I will probably see this.

Posted by: grace b at June 29, 2010 8:36 AM

must everything be in freaking 3d these days? i hate 3d! well, each to his own. i'll see the 2d and save a few bucks

i read about 50 pages of the first harry potter before i had to put it down; utter crap imho but caved in and started to watch the movies which were entertaining but, as a previous poster alluded, utterly forgettable.

it tells you the state of the movie industry when a harry potter movie seems the best choice at the box office; i'm eager for inception and hope it doesn't disappoint

Posted by: splinter at June 29, 2010 9:29 AM

I'm NOT seeing this in 3-D. I hate those fookin glasses, and the 3-D gives me a headache.

I do have some questions, though.

1. Who was the guy on the train tracks? I don't remember anything like that in the book. Unless, it's where they pull Luna off the train and they actually show it.

2. Why is Voldy squishing Harry's face? I don't remember him touching Harry in the last book. He even sends Mrs. Malfoy to check if Harry's dead, so he doeesn't even know that Harry's still alive.

3. There better be lots of Snape and Longbottom in this.

4. And they better show off Mrs. Weasley doing her best line! I'll watch the whole damn thing for that one line.

Posted by: BWeaves at June 29, 2010 11:21 AM

I won't be sleeping on my stomach tonight!
NERD WOOD

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at June 28, 2010 11:34 PM

Hahahaha I second that.

Posted by: Wormer at June 29, 2010 12:17 PM

Yay!!
I am not going to bother seeing this in 3D though. I took a special trip with extra special expensive ticket prices to see the last one in 3D and while it sure was pretty, the hassle of dealing with the crowds and then the cost of snacks (shut up, I like movie theater nachos)and the headache from wearing the glasses just sort of killed it for me. I'm old enough to know that 2D is just as pretty, thank you very much.

Posted by: JenVegas at June 29, 2010 12:29 PM

Oh, everybody's usually all loose and flippin' free with the freakin' spoilers around here, but y'all're sure as fuck clenched up tighter than a new convict taking his first prison shower with "the line."

Google best be my bitch this time...

Posted by: Rykker at June 29, 2010 12:33 PM

Rykker,

This is lousy with spoilers, but the line we are referencing is explained at the top of the following webpage:

http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Molly_Weasley

I am unable to imbed, so you'll have to copy and paste like a fucking Neanderthal.

Posted by: Kballs at June 29, 2010 12:58 PM

Rykker "the line" is Mrs. Weasley screaming "not my daughter, you bitch!" at Bellatrix Lestrange (who attacked Ginny).

Posted by: Scully at June 29, 2010 12:58 PM

Nevermind, it imbedded itself.

Everyone move along. Nothing to see here.

Posted by: Kballs at June 29, 2010 12:59 PM

Gotcha.
I had found my way to that wiki and that page, but was down towards the bottom, reading about the battle, thinking it may have been, "You will never touch our children again!", having missed the quote at the very top of the page.

Anyway...
I haven't read the books, and the last film I saw was OotP, so thanks, kindly, for the info.

Posted by: Rykker at June 29, 2010 1:10 PM

I got chills watching that just now. I also really want to visit the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. At least on the sad geek hierarchy I'll always be higher ranked than Twihards.

Posted by: Ulterior Motive Girl at June 29, 2010 2:09 PM

I'll just assume they're saving all the juicy Umbridge parts for the final trailer. For it is only the promise of more Umbridge that keeps me coming back after the infinite water drinking sequence in the last film. And really, that's just because it will make 3/4 films where Imelda Staunton is constantly surrounded by tea and a fake home-body attitude disguising a dark secret. Now that's a woman that knows her way around a cup and saucer.

Posted by: Robert at June 29, 2010 2:58 PM

I really hope the movie emphasizes the deaths of some characters better than the book handled them. Still, the book was fan-fucking-tastic overall. One of the very few finales that wasn't a disappointment and truly delivered. I may actually go IMAX for these.

Posted by: TylerDFC at June 29, 2010 3:24 PM

Tater Barley Banks has ruined the word event for me. This "motion picture event of a generation" seems particularly egregious since it is two separate films. Does the event span the 6 months between releases? Spreading it a little thin there.

Posted by: bradm at June 29, 2010 6:20 PM

I still don't understand why everyone thinks "the line" is so awesome when it's a ripoff of the Ripley line from Aliens.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at June 29, 2010 8:46 PM

Nerdgasm aside, who cares about Twilight? seriously. It's a cheap hack mormon attempt at sanitizing Harry Potter and giving moral comeupance to abstinence. This is why no one wants a Mormon president.

Posted by: LordNinja at June 30, 2010 1:58 AM

This thing will be a flash of inspiration to others to write something.

Posted by: Wiley Toban at December 3, 2010 8:40 AM