You like Gerard Butler? Well, you won’t anymore. Not after seeing the trailer for The Ugly Truth, which was part of the unholy romantic-comedy trilogy of trailers I had to sit through ahead of Four Christmases (the other two were for Confessions of a Shopaholic and He’s Just Not that Into You. I didn’t know whether to murder myself in the face or make out with myself. The worst of the three, however, was this one, which stars Butler and Rainbow Skank. If it’s possible, this movie is gonna be worse than 27 Dresses, and by the 31st second of the trailer, you know exactly how the entire movie is gonna play out. It’s detestable. Deplorable. Embarrassing. And you know what? This movie is gonna make assloads of cash. Ass. Loads. Rainbow Skank is gonna be able to afford a lotta Big Macs after this movie.
The poster alone makes me throw up in my mouth a little.
Posted by: Park at December 1, 2008 12:24 PM
RAINBOW KILLERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Posted by: admin at December 1, 2008 12:28 PM
Gerard Butler is too damn hot to be shilling this filth. It makes my brain hurt.
Also, does Heigl enjoy being typecasted as a stuck-up, snot-nose, pyscho-bitch? Have we explored the theory that maybe her mean crusty outer exterior is in place to get her her dream roles? Because this lady she's "playing" seems like a total pill. A background check, honestly? No sense of discernible humor, really? Yes, because the image Knocked Up presented was setting the women's rights movement back.
Posted by: Kayanne at December 1, 2008 12:30 PM
Woohoo, let's all be good feminists by taking man-getting tips from hilaaariously sexist hotties who we'll eventually fall in love with because there's "something beneath the surface."
Don't worry Rainbow Killer, I'm sure the excessive scoffing and eye rolling will show the viewer how indignant and offended you really are.
Posted by: Erin S at December 1, 2008 12:34 PM
The only redeeming quality this movie has is that the producers were intelligent enough to make the movie poster a "how to do a Heigl" guide.
Posted by: admin at December 1, 2008 12:37 PM
I am sure she will have the fortitude to withdrawal her name from Academy Award consideration due to the poor writing, will give an interview in 3 months complaining how sexist the movie was, and then take another gig just like the last 50 she's done.
Posted by: JP at December 1, 2008 12:42 PM
Mark my words Skank Cancer won't make it pass this year as a lead, she's like Meg Ryan's cunty cousin. You can just tell she's full of puss, cockroaches, cigarette butts and shit in the inside, fuck her and,
FUCK THIS MOVIE!
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at December 1, 2008 12:43 PM
Whatev...I like Rainbow "Skank Cancer" Killer. Like the great Rusty once said, she does shitty movies, but at least she knows she does shitty movies and is willing to say it. Seriously, I would even respect someone as grotesque as Nicolas Cage if he would just bust out with "Hey, all of my movies suck and I do it for the money, bitches."
Posted by: Marra at December 1, 2008 12:45 PM
I stopped reading after the first sentence.
LALALALLALALALALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU THIS DOESN'T EXIIIIIIST ! GERARD BUTLER HAS DONE NOTHING SINCE LOOKING HOT IN A LEATHER DIAPER AND CAPE LALALALALALALA!
Posted by: figgy at December 1, 2008 12:45 PM
Kayanne, I agree with you on both counts. Plus, for some odd reason they felt the need to take away Gerard Butler's accent.
Is it still considered typecasting if she actually is a stuck-up, snot-nose, pyscho-bitch in real life? It obviously shouldn't be considered acting.
Posted by: branded at December 1, 2008 12:47 PM
Am I the only woman alive who could care less about Gerard Butler, his abs, his accent, his cock, and his penchant for starring in shitty movies? I am Jack's ambivalence. Meh meh meh.
Posted by: Julie at December 1, 2008 12:48 PM
Wait, is this supposed to be Cyrano in reverse? Maybe a screenwriter saw Roxanne once real late and said, "Fuck it! Let's flip this shit". Turning to a Red Phone on his desk he picked it up and barked "Get Me Skank Cancer!"
Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at December 1, 2008 12:48 PM
OHEMGEE branded maybe she's method!
Maybe we should apologize for mocking her craft?
Posted by: Kayanne at December 1, 2008 12:50 PM
Whatev...I like Rainbow "Skank Cancer" Killer. Like the great Rusty once said, she does shitty movies, but at least she knows she does shitty movies and is willing to say it.
Ummm, when has she done this, though? I mean yeah, she complained about Knocked Up and Grey's, but that was it. Not a peep about her other stuff, unless I am mistaken.
Posted by: Vermillion at December 1, 2008 12:52 PM
Not a peep about her other stuff, unless I am mistaken.
You may be right...but complaining about Grey's is enough for me. God I fucking hate that show so much, and everyone acts like it's ok to kill a super-cute heart-transplant patient and an adorable doggie in the same episode, and it's fucking not, Shondra. It's cheap! Cheap!!!
Posted by: Marra at December 1, 2008 12:59 PM
Kayanne,
Never, ever, apologize for mocking a Method Actor's "craft."
GOD, I hate "Method Actors." They are a cancer on the fine art of acting, and a pain in the ass to those of us who don't believe you have to "live" in your characters offstage. Fuck you, if I wanna play Tamora in Titus Andronicus I don't need to eat a potpie made of my sons, do I? - that's why it's called ACTING, assholes.
/rant.
Posted by: Tammy at December 1, 2008 1:00 PM
She steals Sudafed, vacuums for days at a time without sleeping, and cook batches in her kitchen? I'm not surprised. Oh, you said method. My mistake.
Kayanne, now I'm freaked that she could be pulling a Keyser Soze on all of us.
Posted by: branded at December 1, 2008 1:05 PM
As I've stated in my pervious post, Heigl is hot and sexy and that is why most of pigs...er ladies here at pajiba don't like her.
Posted by: Pookie at December 1, 2008 1:12 PM
Rainbow skank just stole a tiny bit of my soul...again. Bah. I can't even say anything...It just hurts too much.
Posted by: VeinsRHiways at December 1, 2008 1:17 PM
Does the movie end with Butler kicking her in the stomach and into a bottomless pit?
I'd see that. I'd see it twice.
Posted by: elise at December 1, 2008 1:20 PM
She just doesn't do it for me, Pook, look at that pic. Bitch looks strung out as fuck. I'm not one of those "I Want a Woman With Some Meat on Her Bones" types (As I am waifish and delicate) but look at that giraffe-ass neck. Pasty as fuck and deep throating that cigarette like it bought her a reasonably priced fish dinner. Perhaps we exaggerate her negative qualities but I do not assume it is a matter of jealousy among Pajiban women.
Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at December 1, 2008 1:38 PM
Man, they really should have let Gerard Butler use his Scottish accent. Not only because it's eleventy billion times hotter, but he also does a pretty atrocious American one.
Whatever, I have a weak spot for romantic comedies, so I'll probably end up seeing this.
Whatever happened to that 'Accidental Husband' movie that had Jeffrey Dean Morgan in it? I feel like I was seeing trailers for it all over the place and then it never came out. Did I just miss it? Because that seems highly unlikely. Hmm...
Posted by: Mimi at December 1, 2008 1:53 PM
Why does Gerard Butler keep doing movies with actresses I hate? It is like he is trying to hurt me. And not in a fun S&M way.
Posted by: jadeblue at December 1, 2008 1:55 PM
Close. Parentheses.
I'm sorry, I hate people who have to be the grammar police in their comments, but you do this quite often. When I'm reading something and I come to a sentence in parentheses it takes on a different tone in my head and when you don't close the parentheses I don't know when to stop! Grrr.
End rant.
Sorry.
Posted by: soothsayer at December 1, 2008 2:09 PM
For someone who hates being the grammar police, you somehow pulled off that complex-compound sentence without any commas? We may have to go to the judges on that one.
Of course I keed, I keed. I myself find grammar unpossible.
Posted by: branded at December 1, 2008 2:38 PM
Tammy
*shakes head and sighs* If we take away an actor's right to be method, we take away his (or her!) right to be a narcissistic attention whose only desire is to be gawked at in public (whether it be through true fame or ridiculous eating habits or bad manners). And then we'd have a world without Heigls or Paul Walkers or Albas or Parker-Longorias or Pookies. What kind of hell would we be living in?
The world is a better place for those who shove their method acting on us, even when we tell them, "no, thank you, we don't need a song with our meal, pleaseleavenowthanks."
Posted by: Kayanne at December 1, 2008 2:39 PM
I hate Skank Cancer because she was a bitch to my little sister way back when she was on Roswell. My sister was 9, Skank was 21.
Posted by: NotBlonde at December 1, 2008 2:41 PM
^narcissistic attention WHORE
Darlings, I apologize for my error; I was too busy primping myself in the mirror and working on my "meanie face" for my role as HBIC (in life). Anyway, figured I should make amends for it, lest soothsayer beat me (especially considering my intense use of parenthetical asides) or branded tut tut me for teasing Mr./Ms. soothsayer.
Posted by: Kayanne at December 1, 2008 2:44 PM
Errr not to imply that NotBlonde is an attention whore, because that'd be incorrect.
Ah fuck it, my foot tastes good anyway.
Also, stars who are bitches to kids need to get their heads put on straight. I'm sorry she was mean to your sister. It's for this reason I kind of don't like Shia Beef... A friend of mine was hanging out around the set while he was filming one of his movies and he said his little brother and sister wanted to say hi and get an autograph since they loved his Disney show and apparently he was a real jerk.
People should be nice to kids who idolize them, yo.
Posted by: Kayanne at December 1, 2008 2:48 PM
Rhymes I will deal with your treachery at another time and place. kayanne I feel like you are stalking me, and I haven't even put my man-hammer on you yet.
Posted by: Pookie at December 1, 2008 2:56 PM
Oh, Pookiekins, you mistake stalking for willfully ignoring the fact that it's the end of the semester and I have so much work to do that it may make my eyes bleed.
Please don't put your "man-hammer" on me, as this euphemism does more to confuse than excite. Just write your autobiography so that I may delight in the fuckdiculousness that is your life. I think you fascinate me like the Loch Ness monster.
Posted by: Kayanne at December 1, 2008 3:06 PM
That mean actress didn't acknowledge my mother's sister's cousin's great-nephew's existence, somebody call the wwwwambulance.
Posted by: Pookie at December 1, 2008 3:07 PM
Pookers, you can shut it. She wasn't asking for an autograph or anything.
Posted by: NotBlonde at December 1, 2008 3:10 PM
Loch Ness monster, Kayanne you're too kind. But to be honest with you it's more like an elephant truck (documented), but I'm not the one to brag.
Posted by: Pookie at December 1, 2008 3:21 PM
It seems to me that not only are some actors typecast, they're typecast as themselves. Witness Rainbow Killer, the attractive-except-for-the-cigarettes-and-ego ice bitch, Jason Statham the epitome-of-mindless-action-hero-awesome-hotness (so I'm told), and Aniston as the whiny-2-dimensional-needy-clingy-man-repeller, also with killer ego. Method acting? Hell with that, they're not even acting (possible exception of Statham, because even someone as awesome as he is had to learn those fight moves somewhere). That said, Statham the persontor is like James Bourne and Jason Bond's kinda cool younger cousin. Aniston & Heigl just put on different outfits.
Posted by: lordhelmet at December 1, 2008 3:24 PM
Am I coming off as tut tutting already? I'm not even thirty yet dammit! I thoroughly encourage (and partake in) teasing, funning, ribbing and general tomfoolery around here.
Now get off my lawn, Matlock's on.
Posted by: branded at December 1, 2008 3:28 PM
I apologize NotBlonde, is was not my intention to offend you. At times my mouth precedes my brain in actions.
Posted by: Pookie at December 1, 2008 3:28 PM
wow, this movie looks horrible. but, Heigl is hot. really hot. so, the movie has got that going for it, which is nice. it's rated R, any chance we get to see that nice rack of hers? if so, i'm in.
Posted by: sosumi at December 1, 2008 3:31 PM
What's an elephant truck, Pookie? Is that like zebra car and a hippo boat?
Posted by: Snath at December 1, 2008 3:49 PM
What's an elephant truck, Pookie? Is that like *a* zebra car and a hippo boat?
God dammit, where is my grammar when I need it to poke fun at someone else's grammar? Bah.
Foot = Mouth, Pookie wins by default.
Posted by: Snath at December 1, 2008 3:50 PM
psst... NotBlonde, I think Pooks was trying to make fun of me for whining about Beef, even though I had never had a personal encounter with him. /whisper
elephant truck (documented)
Hee!
Oh Pookie, I think you exist to make me laugh. You're the present I get for clapping every time someone says s/he doesn't believe in fairies, aren't you?
Posted by: Kayanne at December 1, 2008 3:51 PM
Can't we get over hating on Katharine Heigl? I mean seriously.
Snath I was holding out hope that no one would catch my mistake, I was talking about an elephant trunk. I ain't no Rhodes Scholar
Posted by: Pookie at December 1, 2008 3:56 PM
And neither are you The Loch Ness monster, Pookie...
You're starting to disappoint me. :-\
Posted by: Kayanne at December 1, 2008 4:17 PM
I have it on record that I smell like Bigfoot's dick.
Did you know that Sex Panther is a real cologne you can buy? They are a sponsor for this year's Child's Play Charity. I really want to buy some, but I'm going to be disappointed when it actually smells good, and not like a used diaper filled with Indian food.
Posted by: Snath at December 1, 2008 4:21 PM
I don't have any strong feelings against Heigl, but I do have strong feelings against Butler using an American accent. Why hold back on the sexy?
Oh, and I couldn't watch that trailer all the way through. It hurt too much.
Posted by: Stella at December 1, 2008 4:44 PM
This will probably make loads of money, simply because of the rumor that Gerard paints a patent-pending Grey's Heiglstache on our dear friend Rainbow Killer halfway through the end credits.
Posted by: longcoat000 at December 1, 2008 5:07 PM
HOWEVER the poster for the movie is KICK ASS and was designed my my friend/classmate Meghan!
Posted by: jvo at December 1, 2008 6:00 PM
*vomit*
Posted by: mex at December 1, 2008 6:15 PM
BSlim:"Meg Ryan's cunty cousin"
Love. Love.
Posted by: firedmyass at December 1, 2008 6:21 PM
"I didn't know whether to murder myself in the face or make out with myself." I feel the exact same way after reading the titles to those movies. All these stupid rom-coms are directed at women...I am probably one of the few who thinks torture porn is less cruel punishment to subject myself to. I don't really mind watching young twenty-somethings being disembowled, that's actually a more pleasant experience.
Posted by: ph at December 1, 2008 6:55 PM
I feel so conflicted right now. When I see the Rainbow Killer my face crumples, but then Gerard appears and it's like a beam of sunshine piercing my cold, dead heart.
Tell me how I'm supposed to feeeeeeel, Pajiba!
Posted by: Ali at December 1, 2008 7:03 PM
Whatev...I like Rainbow "Skank Cancer" Killer. ... Seriously, I would even respect someone as grotesque as Nicolas Cage if he would just bust out with "Hey, all of my movies suck and I do it for the money, bitches."
Posted by: Marra at December 1, 2008 12:45 PM
You will eat your words when she does a romantic comedy with Nic Cage. And you know what? Let it be on your head if it happens, because Godtopus can hear you. Let it be on your head!
Posted by: greer at December 1, 2008 7:18 PM
Ali, do like me and just stare at him, pretend nothing else exists?
Posted by: figgy at December 1, 2008 8:37 PM
I'm with Stella. A good accent is roughly equivalent to a tuxedo - it makes a man at least 30% more attractive. Has anyone else seen/been forced to watch by a well-meaning relative "The Mentalist"? Simon Baker is a beautiful, beautiful man, but why must he only use his accent when he narrates the preview for the next episode? Do they think an American super-observant-possibly-psychic detective is that much more believable than an Australian super-observant-possibly-psychic detective? Pssh.
Posted by: LB at December 1, 2008 11:27 PM
Is this not, just a take off of Howard Stern? I mean there is no way that this is an original screenplay. I cannot believe that this is the same woman that bitched about the poor writing for her character. I guess she just wanted mindless repetition, like her movie career.
Posted by: richmac at December 2, 2008 12:16 AM
One of these days, y'all are gonna have to detail the origins of Skank Cancer and it's numerous variations. So that when I call her that to her face, I'll have a defense for my trial.
Posted by: ciji at December 2, 2008 12:56 AM
Stella, LB
If you feel that way about accents please for the love of god do not see PS I Love You, Butler's "irish" accent is eye bleedingly bad and no amount of hotness helps.
Also the film is a flaming piece of shit, and the book for that matter.
Posted by: catag at December 2, 2008 8:08 AM
God Damn one day I will get html tags to work properly for me. One day I tell you.
Posted by: catag at December 2, 2008 8:09 AM
Never trust anyone with a name like Gerard.
Posted by: grumpyoldman at December 2, 2008 8:51 AM
Catag - You'll be happy to know that I saw PS I Love You and was not taken in by the fake accent. And agree about that movie being a flaming piece of shit. My friends thought I was a total crank for hating that movie. I think I need new friends.
Posted by: Stella at December 2, 2008 9:49 AM
That looked like it maybe maybe could be cute in an "I just need to relax in front of a stupid DVD" way until I saw its damn logo at the end. Fucking gender essentialist bullshit.
Posted by: Genevieve at December 2, 2008 10:38 AM
Is it a good or bad sign for MIKA that Grace Kelly has made it to a rom com trailer?
Who am I kidding? Any of his cartoon-rainbow-colored musical talent has probably been killed by You Know Who.
Posted by: Empress of All the Russias at December 2, 2008 11:36 AM
ROT!!!!!!
Posted by: kam at December 2, 2008 12:37 PM
Yeah, it looks crappy, blah, blah, blah.
Wait...
SQUEE!
Is that Rex from DAYS OF OUR LIVES?!
IT IS. Shit. Now I have to see this movie.
Posted by: care at December 2, 2008 1:22 PM
wait!
Her character doesn't understand HOW people can watch the show of someone unlikeable??!!
Posted by: Mario at December 2, 2008 1:22 PM
Gerard Butler's looks don't appeal to me. I know I'm in the minority on this.
Posted by: samantha t at December 2, 2008 8:48 PM
catag, I also saw P.S., I Love You, and I think maybe my ears did bleed a little bit. Stella, it was absolute crap. But, you're not alone. My friends have chosen to see the following films on opening weekend and claimed to enjoy them: Underworld: Part 2 (whatever it was called); Meet the Fockers; The Wedding Date.
*shudders at the memories*
I started going to the good ones by myself a long time ago.
Posted by: LB at December 2, 2008 8:55 PM
Obnoxious actresses are a dime a dozen. I'm sure most of them smoke too.
So are crappy rom-coms.
And everyone has had a big mac at some point in their life.
So... why is Heiiiigl getting the special attention on this site?
Posted by: Mark at December 2, 2008 9:20 PM
I was a little disappointed that Gerry was made to do an American accent for this movie.
Hasn't anyone watched him in Dear Frankie?
I thought he was terrific, although he wasn't in it that long. I bought it because his name was on it, but truly enjoyed everything about it. What a sweet movie about a little deaf boy and his relationship with his Mom.
As far as Gerry's "terrible" irish accent, I'd be content to listen to any way he wants to speak......Loved PS I Love You.
The poster alone makes me throw up in my mouth a little.