The Spirit Trailer

Spit It. Buff It. Gift Wrap it. It’s Still a Turd.

It Sure Ain’t Shinola / Dustin Rowles

Trailers | November 24, 2008 | Comments (59)

Here’s yet another trailer — the third — for Frank Miller’s upcoming flick, The Spirit. This one actually possesses something akin to a narrative, though I suspect there’s no there there. It’s stylized as all hell, I’ll give you that. And it’s got a collection of A-list and B-list talent, but the lines — at least the ones in the trailer — are decidedly D-list. There’s just no energy. The trailer feels lifeless.

The Spirit opens Christmas Day.

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Comments

agreed. BUT boobies!

Posted by: adam at November 24, 2008 4:14 PM

There ain't nothin lifeless about them sweater puppies!

Posted by: RAT at November 24, 2008 4:21 PM

This movie is going to beyond horrible.

Posted by: ajax19 at November 24, 2008 4:24 PM

Sin City. 300. The Spirit. Well, two outta three ain't bad.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at November 24, 2008 4:26 PM

Movie? Trailer? Wha...where.....Pajiba? How did I get here?

Damn you Scarlett and your mammarifous hypnosis!

Posted by: admin at November 24, 2008 4:33 PM

"I'm going to kill you all kinds of dead." How can I work that into a conversation?

Posted by: kelsy at November 24, 2008 4:38 PM

I'll see this movie base purely on the picture above. Really.

Posted by: boogs at November 24, 2008 4:43 PM

I tried watching it - I really did... But my eyes kept drifting up to boobsville. Any chance you could swap it out for a shot of... I dunno, a plate of sauerkraut or something? Just for ten minutes or so? Boobs?

Posted by: Skitz at November 24, 2008 4:44 PM

"I'm gonna kill you all kinds of dead."

hahahaha

Posted by: HEY HEY at November 24, 2008 4:45 PM

Three words:

Kevin Arnold's dad

and boobies

Posted by: JH at November 24, 2008 4:49 PM

Stylised violence, generic superhero-ish plot, crime & corruption...hmmmm, not great but not bad, but I think there's a couple things I'm missing that could push it onto my watch-list...oh yes! Scantily clad Scarlett & Eva! The only thing that'll kill this is a PG-13 rating!
[checks imdb - PG13 for..."some sexual content and brief nudity"]

PASS!

Posted by: lordhelmet at November 24, 2008 4:49 PM

gah... I hate ScarJo... if I wanted to look at a nice rack... I'd just look down my own shirt... mine are about the same size as hers and I can play with them any time I want...

she annoys me to no end... HATE...

Posted by: Tammers at November 24, 2008 4:54 PM

TITS!

Posted by: dylanj at November 24, 2008 4:57 PM

Two words lordhelmet, Directors Cut.

mine are about the same size as hers and I can play with them any time I want...

Tease.

Posted by: admin at November 24, 2008 4:58 PM

This looks horrible... but Sam-U-el has 8 of everything... Reealllyyy.

Posted by: Popsi_zen at November 24, 2008 4:58 PM

ScarJo is like Kim Kardassian to me, genetically blessed but about as interesting as a bowl of cold oatmeal.

Posted by: becks at November 24, 2008 5:00 PM

becks, you are absolutely correct. As I find with many of the well endowed "hot" actresses these days they are very attractive. Until they open their mouths. That's when I just put my fingers in my ears and hummm a show tune.

Posted by: admin at November 24, 2008 5:17 PM

*mumbles* I like ScarJo... and not just for the boobzers. I honestly liked what she created with Lost in Translation. Bit of a dream girl for me. Just her in that. With the reddish hair and the quiet but witty then goes fun and wild. I'd love that.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at November 24, 2008 5:18 PM

Admin, a more beautiful though I could not imagine. Bless your...heart. And that tune you hum, does it go "bow-wa-chicka-chicka-boom-ba-da-bump"? Oh, and I'll second your "tease" - Tammers, that's just cruel, you know? You've just given me flashbacks to The Man Show (Kimmel & Corolla, a giant load of suck but bless them for the Juggies and their credit sequences) and now I can't leave my desk. Thank you!

Posted by: lordhelmet at November 24, 2008 5:43 PM

This movie STILL isn't out? Jeebus, I thought this story was going to be about how it's out on DVD now. Well, I guess that'll happen in about 3 weeks, no?

Posted by: susquehana at November 24, 2008 5:44 PM

No lordhelmet its more of a .....I've got a lo-ve-ly bunch of coconuts there they are a-standin in a row....

Posted by: admin at November 24, 2008 5:51 PM

I was mildly interested until Samuel L Jackson showed up. I'm quite over his shtick. All eight of 'em.

Posted by: bev rage at November 24, 2008 5:59 PM

Sam Jackson is Godtopus? Huh.

Posted by: Sabrina at November 24, 2008 5:59 PM

Also, I kind of hated Sin City. There, I said it.

Posted by: Sabrina at November 24, 2008 6:03 PM

All the comments were about boobs and I thought, where are these boobs? So I look up and there they are. Oh the greatness of being a straight chick. I can totally appreciate the beauty and majesty of a great pair of tits without being completely disabled by them :P.

Posted by: NotBlonde at November 24, 2008 6:05 PM

*yawn*

Posted by: lizzieborden at November 24, 2008 6:16 PM

Nothing like killing a movie based on a 2 min trailer. Because of Sin City (and a damn fine rack), I'll give it the benefit of the doubt.

Posted by: sosumi at November 24, 2008 6:22 PM

Heh, NotBlonde, that was my exact same reaction to all the boob talk.

Posted by: Sabrina at November 24, 2008 6:24 PM

Boobie and comics, this is what Hollywood has come to, eh? Heterosexist nonense, I'll be damned!

Posted by: ph at November 24, 2008 6:25 PM

Sabrina, high five! It pains me to say it, because...well...Clive Owen and Elijah Wood, but I really strongly disliked that movie. Would it have killed them to have one strong female character who wasn't a hooker/stripper/whatever? *sigh*

I mean...uhhh....

BOOBS!

Posted by: meaux at November 24, 2008 6:34 PM

Normally NotBlonde I'd get all annoyed with you trying to rub it in that you're not all that incapacitated. But this time, no. There's no way your level of appreciation comes anywhere near the debilitating appreciation enjoyed by so many straight guys. It's like someone saying watching Kubrick is fun when they could be watching...oh...um...say...anything else!

Posted by: lordhelmet at November 24, 2008 6:38 PM

meaux I'm with you, it'd be great to have a lot more strong female characters beyond strippers to admire, hence my love for Joss Whedon's work, shows like Alias, and even strong, resourceful characters like Hermione Granger. That said, I'm not going to turn down a cheeseburger just because there's no steak on the menu - it's still food! Unless of course that cheeseburger comes wrapped in a shitty story, crap directing, and minimal remedial nudity, in which case it's either director's cut on a lazy Friday night or I pull out Serenity again. Ahh River, you could kick my ass any day...

Posted by: lordhelmet at November 24, 2008 6:45 PM

Spit It. Buff It. Gift Wrap it.

Name three things Ryan Reynolds does every night.

Posted by: JP at November 24, 2008 6:51 PM

see... I figure... ScarJo is the real tease... she doesn't even show hers... does she... cleavage is nice... but you gotta give up the goods every once in a while ( o )( o ) I'm not even going to get into what I used to do at my desk at my old job back before they blocked all the streaming porn... you think I'm a tease NOW...

Posted by: Tammers at November 24, 2008 6:56 PM

If Sin City and 300 taught us anything, it's that Frank Miller is the master of the over-produced, over-stylized, over-gift-wrapped turd. It doesn't matter of you CGI it to within an inch of its life and throw some guns and naked women in there for good measure - if the script sucks, the script sucks.

Posted by: Joe the Plumber at November 24, 2008 7:15 PM

Hey! I loved Sin City! I was just thinking I needed to rent it again; I find myself checking the progress on 2 and 3 every couple of weeks. That being said... this does look like it could be pretty bad. I will still see it opening weekend, because I know I'll be ready for a break from the family by then.

And there may be plenty of pretty boobies on display, but there was also Gabriel Macht's torso... hmmmm. Forget the five freebies: my list has to be up to 15 at this point.

Posted by: Laura at November 24, 2008 7:42 PM

Don't forget that Sin City was based on a book about... Sin City, filled with hookers, dirty cops and not much more.

Posted by: grendel at November 24, 2008 8:13 PM

I'm really painting myself into a corner here. It feels like all I ever comment on lately are the films for geeks. I like 70s French film the most, but here goes another one for Frank Miller.

I LOVE Sin City. It is a beautiful piece of camp that injects loss and heroism. Awesome. I HATE 300 even before all of its fucking fans ruined it-- well I went from thinking 300 was stupid to hating it. I can't wait to see The Spirit and glad it was made even though most fanboys are revolting because 'it isn't trying to retain the original charm of the series'. How boring, but more to the point, how would they know? Marketing is all fucked in this country. Sometimes you just gotta see it before the self-induced stroke.

The Spirit looks like campy comic fun to me. This is definitely one that might improve with Japanese overdub and English subtitles. Any way, I am looking forward to seeing it some time before the new year.

Posted by: Jackseppelin at November 24, 2008 8:38 PM

Nicely put, lordhelmet. I completely understand that argument, and if I was a fan of hamburger...well...I'd be right there enjoying the beef tips with you.

Posted by: meaux at November 24, 2008 8:50 PM

Yeeeeeeeep, this looks like shit. That stylized crap became fucking old 5 minutes into Sin City. Another two hours of that? Fuck it.

Posted by: figgy at November 24, 2008 11:40 PM

Oh, and Scarlett Johansen might have nice boobs (mine are nicer, but whatever), but she's as dull as a box of hair.

Posted by: figgy at November 24, 2008 11:44 PM

What'd you expect? They let a guy who writes comic books (albeit pretty damned good comic books) make a movie based on the reputation on a movie SOMEONE ELSE made based on his work. The man's directorical debut was Robocop III, for chrissakes!

Posted by: Armando at November 25, 2008 12:31 AM

"Mine are nicer"

We'll be the judge of that. Put up a picture ... if you DARE!!!

So you say you like boobsalot?
"Yes, I like boobsalot."
Boobsalot boobsalot
"Ya gotta like boobsalot."

Posted by: bucdaddy at November 25, 2008 1:29 AM

I would, but I'm afraid the mere sight of them would create chaos, madness, empires to crumble, world wars between raging Pajibans everywhere fighting for possession of them.

I don't want to be responsible for that.

Posted by: figgy at November 25, 2008 1:55 AM

When will it end? When will they stop making movies about comic book characters?? I guess the correct term is 'graphic novel' but GAWWWWWWWWD is there no one out there who can write a screenplay that isn't based on some emotionally stunted, hero worshipping, booby obsessed geek's idea of plot?
People have to stop going to these movies and then they might go away.

Posted by: Brite at November 25, 2008 2:00 AM

I guess the correct term is 'graphic novel'

Nnnno, only for a certain kind of book. The Spirit is a comic book, it's a series. I don't buy into calling anything and everything bound with glue a graphic novel, and I don't think there's anything debased about calling a comic a comic. If people do, well, that's some misguided insecurity there. My passive aggressive resistance is never using the term at work. I just say "comic books", and in the Venn diagram that's always true.

Posted by: Jay at November 25, 2008 2:21 AM

Jay, I do the exact same thing, using the Venn diagram statement when this argument invariably comes up.

What nobody here is noting is this movie is based off of works that are almost 70 years old. It HAS to be a little campy, and a little crap (or a lot, whatever.) I love this site, but I will never understand why people can't let brain candy be brain candy. If you let it just be sugary escapism, then things like the Spirit and (Gotopus, save me for this) Twilight can not only be tolerable, but enjoyable. This is tasty brain-numbing goodness waiting for you. Far better tasting than any Wayans-fueled diarrheadump, or Uwe Boll sticking fandom's dick through a meat grinder. Working my way up the ladder, it will probably be better then Sukiyaki Western Django. Shitty movie, but damn fun to watch. Movies like The Spirit will be to future generation what Ed Wood is to us.

Love it. You really don't have a friggin' choice.

Figgy, at the world-ending event of your dirty-pillow reveal, I will be the Nero of apathy, playing at your doorstep. We'll call it a date to piss off your boyfriend.

Posted by: Dagon at November 25, 2008 4:22 AM

10 minutes later and I'm still laughing at "Get me a tie, and it better be red." And not laughing in a good way...

Why Clive Owen, WWWHHHHYYYYY????

Posted by: Ali at November 25, 2008 4:23 AM

"Something is going down, something big..."

Jesus, what a lame, cliched turd of a line. And is that tiny little mask-thing seriously supposed to conceal his identity, or does he just have a problem with baggy eyes?

Posted by: DeadBessie at November 25, 2008 7:39 AM

but GAWWWWWWWWD is there no one out there who can write a screenplay that isn't based on some emotionally stunted, hero worshipping, booby obsessed geek's idea of plot?

You mean, like the other 90% of movies being made or already released, including several of those comic book movies you do so hate?

I would address the dimwittery of the rest of the comment, but it is far too early to be that surly and long-winded. All I can do now is ask that you get over yourself.

Posted by: Vermillion at November 25, 2008 8:46 AM

I would address the dimwittery of the rest of the comment, but it is far too early to be that surly and long-winded. All I can do now is ask that you get over yourself.

N.I.C. is in da hizzzy!!!!!

Take that, bizzatches.

Posted by: ajax19 at November 25, 2008 9:10 AM

OK, Figgy, then just send ME a picture and I'LL be the judge.

Posted by: bucdaddy at November 25, 2008 10:12 AM

Shit... Shinola.

You gonna be alright.

Posted by: Lucas at November 25, 2008 10:47 AM

ScarJo is...pretty.

Posted by: Abazur at November 25, 2008 12:01 PM

A Polish joke? Really?

Posted by: Annie_Reckson at November 25, 2008 12:19 PM

Hee...

Posted by: figgy at November 25, 2008 12:57 PM

This looks awful, yet also loads of fun. Anyway, I'd probably just drool over the clothes the ladies get to wear.

Also? I'mm picturing a Netflix night, involving a drinking game where me and the beau take a shot everytime we hear a line we may have written in our own fiction back in middle school. It's fun to connect with someone you love over how lame you both are.

Posted by: Beatific Barf at November 25, 2008 1:47 PM

Has anyone here ever READ Wil Eisner's Spirit comic? Aside from the names of some of the characters, I doubt Eisner would recognize much in Miller's adaptation.

Posted by: Keith at November 25, 2008 2:32 PM

DAMN YOU FRANK MILLER.

Why? Why must you rape Will Eisner's corpse? I'm pretty sure he doesn't like it.

(I can hear the little squishy sounds from here.)

Posted by: lise at November 25, 2008 10:54 PM

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