free counter with statistics The Shortcut Trailer | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

top-11-adam-sandler-moments.jpg
Adam Sandler's "First" Horror Movie

Same Formula, Different Genre / Dustin Rowles

Trailers | May 20, 2009 | Comments (16)

Here’s the trailer for the first Adam Sandler produced horror film, The Shortcut, which comes from his Scary Madison Production company (yeah. Scary Madison). I’m not sure how anyone could really bill this as Sandler’s first horror film, unless they haven’t actually seen his last five or six movies, dating back to Little Nikki. They all gave me nightmares.

This one, however, probably will not. It looks about as straightforward and dull as you can expect a horror movie to be. Creepy old guy. Scary house. Teenagers. This is strictly by the numbers, Horror Movies for Dummies. It comes from Nicholaus Goossen, who directed Grandma’s Boy. He’s got about as much talent as a zit trapped inside an ass boil, and this trailer suggests as much. Fortunately, no actors or actresses of actual talent were harmed in the making of this picture. In fact, the only one you’re likely to recognize is Katrina Bowden, who is Liz Lemon’s assistant on “30 Rock.”

If the Sandlerreally wanted to make a horror film, though, he’s have just put Rob Schneider in front of the camera for an hour and a half.



← Blue Man Group Movie | The Most Famous Person You've Ever Met →



Comments

If the Sandlerreally wanted to make a horror film, though, he’s have just put Rob Schneider in front of the camera for an hour and a half.

Can't sleep. Rob Schneider is still alive. Can't sleep. Rob Schneider still alive. Can't sleep.

Posted by: figgy at May 20, 2009 8:13 PM

"He’s got about as much talent as a zit trapped inside an ass boil"

=D

Posted by: Mick J at May 20, 2009 8:18 PM

The "Shortcut" being all the cliches he uses in this movie.

And I am sure that the squeaky door at 1:06 sounded just like a fart.....
I'm just sayin'

Posted by: Odnon at May 20, 2009 8:23 PM

Looks like more lame, PG-13 crap. Even if Sandler or his crappy production company weren't involved, I'd dodge this piece o' shite. Besides, we all know that the penguin is the killer.

Posted by: David at May 20, 2009 10:40 PM

Penguins have snipers, for sure. Right, Kayanne?

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at May 21, 2009 1:03 AM

Wow...why not do a Adam Sandler biopic..."The Short Bus"?

Posted by: Diablo at May 21, 2009 1:17 AM

Where's all the NC-17 horror movies these days?
Oh that's right, there aren't any.
If I had the opportunity to produce a horror movie
I would certainly make sure the ratings board was singing for their supper.
Nothing stirs up the press quite like the threat
of an X-rating.

I can see the posters and ad campaigns already -
"4 out 5 ratings officials blew chunks"
" The other one is stone cold dead."

Posted by: Weirdly Sawbones at May 21, 2009 1:36 AM

And yet, the fact that they made Paul Blart: Mall Cop is infinitely scarier then anything else Happy(Scary, whatever) Madison could accomplish.
I'm waiting for Sappy Madison films to do a cancer drama, that would finally push the ever so talented Adam Sandler into the Oscar Race!
Ooh, I just got a pain in my stomach writing that. Flashbacks of Tropic Thunder are running through my mind.

Posted by: Kamikaze Feminist at May 21, 2009 6:40 AM

Crappy Madison

Posted by: missh at May 21, 2009 8:19 AM

There's a Sandler movie filming right now in my hometown.

And not just Sandler! He brought the whole zero-talent gang! Shneider, Spade, the whole bunch!

Posted by: vikky at May 21, 2009 9:03 AM

vikky,

Where's a tsunami when you need one?

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at May 21, 2009 10:12 AM

"Horror Movies for Dummies"

That doesn't narrow the field much, does it?

Posted by: Brett at May 21, 2009 11:39 AM

Rob Schneider is the zit in his ass boil.

And he's about to find out, that being a zit in an ass boil, isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Posted by: David McTaintwaffle at May 21, 2009 5:47 PM

What the crap? Seems like Sandler could have coughed up an extra $500 to get a real trailer made. This one feels like a midterm submission for Editing 101.

Posted by: Wonkey the Monkey at May 22, 2009 8:50 AM

H-O-T
Dating Networking Site

__S e e k B i----C oM__

Helps you find your ideal lover

Posted by: hotgirl at May 24, 2009 9:57 PM

Who ever wrote this blog is about as cool period blood, and every other follower. Since you are all professional film makers, I forgot you knew every aspect of a movie. Honestly who can hate Adam Sandler, and Who Can hate Grandma's Boy. Nicky Goose takes shits that are worth more than your house... and he will steal your girlfriend. Congrats guys your still the coolest kids on the short bus dont give up your crown... Adios Turd Nuggets

Posted by: All Day at June 30, 2009 12:40 AM