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It's Hard To Believe We Need A Place Called Hell

By TK | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (17)

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You know what we need? Another demon possession movie. We don’t get nearly enough of those. (That rumbling noise you hear is the sound of my eyes rolling).


That aside, I have a few questions for The Rite, the upcoming film directed by Mikael Håfström (1408):

First of all, how is it possible that there hasn’t already been a film named The Rite. It’s so obvious. Sitting there, ripe for the picking, and no one thought to use it? Clearly people are too busy thinking of overlong, overly-expository titles like The Exorcism of Emily Rose. (Hey, what’s that about? The exorcism of some broad named Emily, you dumb fuck. What’d you think it was about, the Canadian moose porn industry?)

Second, is Anthony Hopkins the last distinguished old Brit to star in one of these?

Third, “inspired by a true story.” I love that line. It’s a glorious catchall designed to con people into thinking it’s somehow factual or biographical, when really it’s just the loosest of most tenuous connections. I’m directing a movie right now, about chipmunks that mutate into giant tentacled vampiric creatures with cybernetic limbs and bat wings that are fighting French-speaking invisible psychic mermaids who breathe fire and are from Saturn. It’s inspired by true events. Hand to God.

Fourth, I’m a little drunk.

Here’s the trailer:

Oh, and fifth: Alice Braga. This is a good thing.

(source: Film School Rejects)









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Comments

I have the feeling that Sir Anthony has been pulling a DeNiro on us for quite some time now. Does he have unpaid bills or something?

And about your Chipmunk movie, what no 3D?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 21, 2010 9:16 AM

Just because we can't prove demonic possession doesn't mean there aren't people in the world who believe in it and attempted exorcisms. That's the "based on a true story" aspect in these films. Someone, at some time, in similar circumstances, tried to perform a religious ritual that may or may not have been based in any need for said ritual. And yes, many Catholics attempt to report demonic possessions to the Church that, when and if investigated, are shot down as other issues.

In particular, The Exorcism of Emily Rose was based on a real case wherein the parents of a young woman and a pair of priests essentially let a girl starve to death believing they could exorcise a demon from her body. They took her off her anti-seizure medication and had her pray so often (during seizures) that she managed to fracture both her kneecaps. The family and priests were convicted of manslaughter-like charges and sentenced to jail time. The film takes a whole lot of liberties with the story, but uses a surprising amount of facts when it gets down to the exorcism and trial. Just search Anniliese Michel to learn more.

That said, oh joy, another tame exorcism film coming out in January. Like we don't get enough of those. It's just such a barren market nowadays. While you're at it, film industry, why not give us a couple more romantic comedies with horribly mismatched couples forced together by unusual circumstances and a smattering more of car chase-heavy action films.

Posted by: Robert at October 21, 2010 9:19 AM

For what it's worth, Requiem was based on the same true life case as the Emily Rose and is considerably better.

Trailer here

Posted by: Simon at October 21, 2010 9:46 AM

This article clearly shows your ignorance of the Canadian moose porn industry and their proud traditions

Posted by: Yesplease at October 21, 2010 9:46 AM

Just because you display demonic on a state-of-the-art computer system, doesn't make it any more scientific...

Posted by: Keith at October 21, 2010 9:49 AM

demonic possession, I meant to say, drat.

Posted by: Keith at October 21, 2010 9:50 AM

Also, while there's no denying that Anthony Hopkins is very distinguished, he has starred in some right old tosh too.

I fear this movie will be just another Freejack/Bad Company/Dracula.

Posted by: Simon at October 21, 2010 9:53 AM

"That said, oh joy, another tame exorcism film coming out in January. Like we don't get enough of those. It's just such a barren market nowadays. While you're at it, film industry, why not give us a couple more romantic comedies with horribly mismatched couples forced together by unusual circumstances and a smattering more of car chase-heavy action films."

Posted by: Robert at October 21, 2010 9:19 AM

Now - if you combine all three of those - I might just watch that. Perhaps the horrible couple are mismatched because one is possessed? Hell, cast Nic Cage as the possessed male lead, and the car chase scenes practically take care of themselves. Perfect summer blockbuster! Why isn't Hollywood getting on this right now?

Posted by: russmunki at October 21, 2010 9:54 AM

I believe the Canadian moose porn industry uses condoms.

Posted by: BWeaves at October 21, 2010 9:58 AM

It's just like TK to take shots at my industry when I'm unable to defend it. Man up, Moosist.

Posted by: admin at October 21, 2010 10:01 AM

Didn't Anthony Hopkins announce he was going to quit acting a few years ago, because it was a crap job, and then shortly thereafter, he started doing a ton of "just doing this one for the money" movies? This sounds like another one. I don't think he really cares anymore.

Posted by: BWeaves at October 21, 2010 10:02 AM

If you make enough movies that suck, can they take back your "Sir"?

Posted by: , at October 21, 2010 10:46 AM

Exorcism of Emily Rose was in no way scary, or even a good movie, BUT it was interesting how they tried to show both sides of the debate - how it could be "possesion" or how it could be the result of her seizures. They totally went for the less scientific explanation, but still it was interesting to see a movie where they showed how her behavior could be the result of a mental/neurological problem.

Posted by: ninetwenteetoo at October 21, 2010 5:08 PM

I'm in love with TK. And also drunk.

Posted by: schmerpes at October 21, 2010 5:13 PM

That rumbling noise you hear is the sound of my eyes rolling

If your eyes make a rumbling sound when rolling, TK, I am worried about you. Please get to the ER as soon as you can. Better yet, call 911. This could be serious.

Posted by: Uriah Creep at October 21, 2010 10:40 PM

Also, when will we be able to see a teaser for your movie?

Posted by: Uriah Creep at October 21, 2010 10:41 PM

Well, take solice in the certain fact that at some point in the future, you might just learn who was right and who was wrong. Good luck with it.

Posted by: JonInVa at January 26, 2011 7:34 PM