Pajiba

Okay. I know I am being super over-sensitive about this one, but I wish people would stop using the term "have a dog in this fight". It makes it seem so acceptable. It hits me in the same place as when my mother says "I've been working like a black today" and I can't make her see why that's offensive. She's not at all racist, trust me. She used to bring us on anti-apartheid marches on Sunday afternoons when other mothers were baking roast beef. She just doesn't see why it's offensive. So I'm not suggesting people who use the phrase are pro dog-fighting. I just wish it would not be used.

I never felt all that passionately about it until I saw this series of videos describing how the Star Wars prequels sucked harder than pretty much anything.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxKtZmQgxrI&feature=PlayList&p=7B2BAC553FD1D934&index=7

I watched every one of them. I think there are 7 or so. And actually, as an English teacher, he has a lot of really good points about characterization, story arcs and coherence.

You wrote, "...which is something akin to Borat crossed with a British sense of humor."

Dude, isn't Sasha Baron Cohen a Brit? Isn't Borat ALREADY the British sense of humor?

Paddy, I sort of agree, which is why I switched to using "have a horse in this race."

That or "have a black in this cottonfield," but I learned that from your mom.

TOTALLY KIDDING.

(because I think the original Star Wars trilogy is overrated)

Fine, asshole, here are some other things that are overrated:

Arcade Fire: Funeral
The Pixies: Doolittle
Anything with Wes Anderson, (seriously, just look at this ninny)

And in case you were wondering, yes, I'm the only person on the earth who's a bigger asshole than Dustin.

For those wondering, right now I'm just waiting for Lucas to die so I can witness the earth shattering hypocrasy of his most hated detractors mourning the loss of a god, kind of like Michael Jackson, except Lucas didn't fuck any kids*.

*allegedly

When did George become the teenaged B-Slim? Did I miss a meeting?

Shut up, George.

But, who knows? I might get lucky and there'll be some moaning about Michael Bay today too.

I couldn't take that series of videos about The Phantom Menace. The guy's delivery was grating and pedantic. (And I didn't agree with him.)

The original trilogy rocks. George is deluded and mad with creative power, but I will forever be grateful to him.

I sleep with an Ewok.

For Lucas to have ruined "Star Wars", the films need to have been watchable in the first place. The second series and his inability to not ruin what little was like about the originals through shitty re-releases, just further prove the points that A) he honestly has no clue what it takes to be a decent director, writer, or talent scout B) the average fan of his movies are just as fucking clueless as him, and that C) he will shit on his fanbase and whore his creation out for the least bit of money. The only difference between him and Uwe Boll is that at least everyone acknowledges that Uwe is a fucking hack.

These are the things that keep jM awake at night.

Well, that and panda-raping.

*closest

Damnitt

I love the George Lucas hateful deconstruction. It's hilarious because a) every one of the fans who hate the prequels are completely justified in feeling robbed and cheated.

But is also beyond funny because b) George Lucas gives no shit to what anyone thinks because he's filthy rich, leaving all the whiny poo-poo-ing irrelevant because the target that everyone's aiming at has bulletproof-isized himself from reality. You HAVE to give George Lucas a LITTLE credit for not getting two shits about what you think creatively. It's a talent.

However, I can only help but look at the over-arching concept that Lucas himself has no idea why his creation is so beloved. There are four reasons why people love movies 4-5-6:

1) You like Luke Skywalker, who represents the coming-of-age ideal on a save-the-world scale.
2) You like the Empire. You like Vader's ability to scare the shit out of you without ever showing face, and the sterile stormtroopers with shiny white body armor.
3) You like The Force, with its' obvious Eastern Philosophy roots, inoffensive lack of a central figure of worship, and the fact that you can concentrate and levitate shit.
4) Han Solo. Can you imagine these movies without Han? No you can't. Because he outright takes over the movie when he's on screen. Plus he brings Chewie, Lando, Boba Fett, and Jobba with him. I dare anyone to tell me who the "cool" good guy is in the prequels. It's not Sam Jackson, because the only reason he's cool is because it's Sam Jack, not the character.

George Lucas, however, thought for some reason you liked his movies for completely different reasons, so he built movies 1-2-3 based on:

1)CGI.
2)More CGI.
3)Lame, generic, daytard comic relief.
4)Robots.
5)And throw some CGI on top.

This is like Tolkien writing books about metallurgy and carpentry for 3 books, or Tarantino releasing a Pulp Fiction prequel following Bruce Willis' girlfriend and using a score recorded by a 3rd grade orchestra of recorders and xylophones. But wait, they don't do that because they're not batshit retarded.

It's "Dale" Pollock.

My husband and I were just the right age to be completely mesmerized by the first set of Star Wars movies (we were in older childhood through early adolescence as the three came out). Mr. Snuggie stood in line in Phoenix, Arizona forever just to see Star Wars. He's never lost his love for the three movies and I loved them and still love them, too. This is totally nerdy, but on our second date I quoted something from Star Wars, can't even remember what now and years later he told me that was the moment he knew I was right for him. Ha! Dweebs in love!

But the only reason we love them is very simple: it's just a good story.

The prequels? Suck in every conceivable way, except for the fact that I could look at Ewan McGregor. Looking at him is never ever bad. But that's it. All I can say about those three flicks.

Oh, D-Day, you're so cute. The point I was making is that you listed four (+ 1 with photo) = five very BOY-centric reasons to like Star Wars. I was trying to throw in a little girl perspective.

Cockroach...you are correct. My equating of Uwe Boll to George Lucas is unfair...Uwe actually uses talented actors (abet horridly but at least he recognizes the talent he wastes) where as Lucas not only can't recognize talent, but his films are so godawful that he kills more careers than he has ever helped.

Has anyone ever said "Michael Madsen...His career is over...he was in "Blood Rayne". Even the 12 people that saw that shitfest recognize that it was a straight money job. But my god...Lucas killed Mark Renton. I can't even watch "Trainspotting" anymore after seeing Ewan McGregor get completely wasted in three straight films.

Uwe Boll sucks...but he is harmless. His damage is left on the screen. Lucas destroys careers and turns great actors into whores.

I hope he makes the next three movies just so I can see how far he is willing to shit on his fan base to make money.

Also Skewicide Blonde is the tits.

Posted by: Katers at February 5, 2010 3:39 PM
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Okay. I know I am being super over-sensitive about this one, but I wish people would stop using the term "is the tits". It makes it seem so acceptable.

Plese substitute the phrase "Show me your tits."

Thank you.

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Yeah I don't have a dog in that fight either...ohh err, I mean I don't have a hanger in that uterus, I really don't care for anything Lucas has done. Although starwars fans have written some interesting fiction.