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The Much Better UK Trailer For Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes Is A Study In How American Marketing People Are Even Stupider Than You

By TK | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (31)

Rise-of-the-Planet-of-the-Apes-trailer.jpg

Marketing people are fucking morons, man. Seriously. The prior trailer for Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes featured one of the dumbest lines ever, one that was a sticking point for many viewers. You know the one. Where James Franco proclaims, “We call it… the cure.” It was so goddamn trite and annoying. And of course, it also taken completely out of context, and isn’t the entire sentence. And when the moment is shown in its entirety, all of a sudden it makes much more sense, and is much more interesting a moment. So why abbreviate it to create this manufactured dramatic moment? Because marketing people thing you’re fucking dumb.

And while it’s true, you are fucking dumb (I mean seriously. You guys are idiots), the truth is that that line is much more affecting when shown fully. But the folks in marketing thing people are scared by long words like “Alzheimer’s” and so you get… “the cure.”

Whatever. I personally think there’s great potential with this film. It’s a little silly, a little over-the-top, but it’s got a top-notch cast, the effects look killer, and as I said before — I’m always interested in movies where humanity gets its collective ass handed to them.

Here’s the UK trailer for ROTPOTA, you dummies:









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Comments

I understand that Alzheimer’s is a horrible disease and feel bad for anyone who is suffering from it or has a loved one who suffers for it, but, dear scientists, please... No more fucking wonder "cures".

Did you learn nothing from the super smart killer sharks the first time around? You had to go and do this shit to monkies and apes too?

Damn youse! God damn youse all to hell!

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at June 23, 2011 11:39 AM

Uh sorry, but this looks like shit too. Though I may be stupid, I prefer the original tales.

Posted by: Cindy at June 23, 2011 11:44 AM

this is the same effect the revised GL trailer had on me. Less Boobs Legsly/Freida Pinto, much better soundtrack and it has dat epic vibe bout it.

just hope dat it doesn't turn out to be like GL.

p/s: the CGI is still as bad GL though.

Posted by: haplo at June 23, 2011 11:44 AM

I find it very hard to believe that anyone is even stupider than me. It's a good thing you provided proof.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 23, 2011 11:48 AM

Because marketing people thing you’re fucking dumb.
---
Sometimes they're right, don't you thing?

Also, The Monkees are touring (without Nesmith) and are probably a better investment of your time and money than this.

Posted by: , at June 23, 2011 11:56 AM

I saw a trailer for this last night during the X Men movie, and was shocked that they'd actually bothered to refer to the chimps as "apes," rather than "monkeys" (monkeys have a prehensile tail, apes do not...big pet peeve of mine). The whole thing came off as "crazy beasts go crazy, take unwarranted revenge on their captors!" which is not a film I (and presumably most people, being well past the stage of dead horse beating as far as plot lines go) care to see.

This UK version (while still a trailer for a shiite movie) seems slightly more successful because it portrays a modicum of sympathy for the captive, which in my opinion bodes better than "crazy honky chimps be trippin'!

I don't know who the hell greenlights shit of such a massive proportion as this, but I wish they'd just...stop.

Posted by: beet salad at June 23, 2011 12:01 PM

Well now I want to go see this movie in England where, apparently, the more smarter peoples live.

Posted by: JenVegas at June 23, 2011 12:03 PM

Your... theory... about "the cure" and the "Alzheimer's" is interestingly... grasp-y. I can't imagine that's anywhere near an actual reason, since I can't imagine anybody in the U.S. over the age of about 8 doesn't know what Alzheimer's is. (Although, god bless 'em, some Virginia Chances out there will call it "Old Timer's.") Anyway, I wasn't bothered by the out of context line in the first place, and I don't see how including Alzheimer's makes it "smarter." Really, it just reminds me to call my granny before it's too late. Which, maybe filmmakers don't want me to be reminded of terms of their film.

Posted by: The Wandering Parakeet at June 23, 2011 12:04 PM

(Movie Voiceover Voice)
On August 12th... Earth. Goes. APESHIT.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at June 23, 2011 12:05 PM

Also, I hope all of the chimps learned how to talk from John Lithgow. So they have his speech patterns and affectations.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at June 23, 2011 12:09 PM

When I first saw the trailer last week I thought it was great as far as the action scenes go but still I wasn’t able to connect the dots in that the voiceover didn’t match the trailer. Still the movie seems to be having an internal fight with itself. Is the movie about evolution or a medical breakthrough?

Posted by: Pookie at June 23, 2011 12:18 PM

(Movie Voiceover Voice)
On August 12th... Earth. Goes. APESHIT.

Now there's a movie I would line up to see!

Posted by: OldSchool60 at June 23, 2011 12:25 PM

So...

American Marketing People

Got it.

Posted by: Yossarian at June 23, 2011 12:32 PM

Optimus Rhyme, now I have a mental image of the apes looking in a hand mirror and exclaiming "My GOD, I'm GORGEOUS!" a la John Lithgow in 3rd Rock from the Sun.

This might get me through the rest of the work day.

Posted by: nix at June 23, 2011 12:34 PM

Oh fucking fuck html, that looked great in the god damn preview of the comment but then it dissapears in the posted version? Kiss my ass I was just trying to give the dude some props!


American Marketing people (is less than )
UK Marketing people (which is less than)
Optimus Rhyme

Posted by: Yossarian at June 23, 2011 12:36 PM

The CGI isn't good enough. While it's an improvement from the Jumanji monkeys, it still doesn't look real enough for it not to be distracting. This movie has a case of the Hulks.

Posted by: Sofia at June 23, 2011 1:14 PM

I think this movie looks so dumb, but I can't help but be interested in it because I want to see how they make the apes an actual threat. I mean, a great big horde of angry, super-smart apes is scary, but I'm pretty sure apes are exactly as vulnerable to bullets no matter how smart they are. It seems to me that the army would recognize they were a threat, immediately shoot all of them, and that'd be it; movie over. How do they manage to take over the whole world?

Posted by: Jim at June 23, 2011 1:15 PM

I also saw the trailer for this on the front of X-Men. For the first minute or two, I thought it was an ad for the new horror version remake of Project X. Then by the time I figured it out, I just thought it was all terribly ridiculous.

On a related note, here's a proposal for Hollywood. It concerns these godawful movie titles you insist upon using. Please eliminate the following words completely from your movie title vocabulary: rise, revenge, return, last, and final. I'm sure I'm forgetting a few other words that need to go, but you get my gist. Get a little creative, and you might find that you come up with a title that doesn't leave us rolling our eyes. And I know this is a large request, but you could stand to do away with the number "2" completely as well.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at June 23, 2011 1:24 PM

How about:

Planet of the Apes: Fast Awakening

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at June 23, 2011 1:34 PM

I might go just to satisfy my curiosity as to where all the apes got spears for that one scene.

Posted by: Wembley at June 23, 2011 2:22 PM

"crazy beasts go crazy, take unwarranted revenge on their captors!"

Huh. That's exactly the movie I want to see. The CGI is a little sketchy, though.

Posted by: MM at June 23, 2011 3:26 PM

I did like the scene with the animal keeper hosing down the chimp. It was a great visual reference to a scene in the original Planet of the Apes film, with the roles swapped. However, still have little hope for the overall film.

Posted by: Halesonearth at June 23, 2011 3:44 PM

It bothers me that so many people say the "CGI" looks bad" and that warrants dismissal of the movie. If the CGI here is distracting I have no idea how you can look at even older special effects. If they did the movie with puppets people would whine about how shitty the puppets look. They both take you out of the fantasy world but things have come a long way so we shouldn't whine. Also I think the CGI looks fantastic. Not perfect but it doesn`t take me out of the trailer which beats GL`s CGI. As for the merits of the actual movie the trailer is presentin; I think I looks like it could be great but I completely understand those that doubt it. Plus the title sucks but that doesn't make a movie bad (please don't let the shitty title ruin Dark Knight Rises)

Posted by: CliffordB at June 23, 2011 3:57 PM

I'm still interested even though this version is a little less campy and hyper.

Posted by: Candy at June 23, 2011 4:22 PM

Nice little Easter Egg after the word "humanity" appears on screen...look what Ceaser's holding.

This could be fun in a smart popcorn kinda way, ala X Men First Class. Franco could be an issue, frankly.

Posted by: Talbot at June 23, 2011 4:24 PM

I love Lithgow. I hate Franco. This movie was always a tarded idea. However a lot of movies nowadays take themselves so incredibly serious you can't even write them off as "fun". Trailer was decent enough I guess. I just can't see the movie being any good.

Posted by: googergieger at June 23, 2011 6:30 PM

If the CGI here is distracting I have no idea how you can look at even older special effects

Sori CliffordB but there's a tonne of old special effects dat can drop kick this into a comma. The main Chimp just looks wrong. If this is suppose to be set in a real world, then the chimp shudn't be giving me the uncanny valley chimp edition vibe.

They shud've done the Zookeeper effects instead. Same reason I can't stand Narnia's Aslan.

And the apes all look washed out like the "vamps" from I Am Legend.

Posted by: haplo at June 23, 2011 6:53 PM

excited to see this movie just to watch humans die at the hands of other animals.

would love to watch a double-feature of this and clips of bullfighting where the bull kills the matador.

Posted by: Mike at June 23, 2011 7:43 PM

The score to the Transformers films makes anything better.

Posted by: Shadowen at June 23, 2011 8:03 PM

Man, I get so sick of people bitching about special effects. We should go back to claymation for six months just so you people can flush your heads out of your asses.

Posted by: superasente at June 23, 2011 8:06 PM

And Man, I get so sick of people bitching about people bitching...

Wait, dats too easy to continue.

Posted by: haplo at June 23, 2011 8:54 PM