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The Awesomeness of The Statham Cancels Out the Awfulness of Simon West

By TK | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (18)

Statham Shirtless.jpg

The remake of the 1972 Charles Bronson movie The Mechanic actually looks rather entertaining, if stupid, which can basically sum up all of director Simon West’s films… well, except for The General’s Daughter, which was simply overwrought and unpleasant. It loosely follows the plot of the original — meticulous hitman takes on protégé, protégé is untrustworthy and eventually turns on him, you can guess where it goes from there. Bronson’s original, directed by Michael Wenner, was a tense, slow-burning, reflective film that was more character piece than action movie.

Simon West is not Michael Wenner. So it appears to be a bit more action-oriented, but it has two very impressive saving graces. Ben Foster, who is amazing in good movies (3:10 to Yuma) as well as bad ones (Hostage, 30 Days of Night). One of the many, many brain-numbing blunders in the Ratnerfucking of X-Men III was the complete underuse of Foster as Angel. The man has unbelievable talent. How he ended up in a Simon West movie is baffling, but it can only help.

The second saving grace is, of course, The Statham. The Statham is rapidly establishing himself as a shlock action star, a highly energetic and entertaining actor who’s got charisma to spare, but is content to just run around and jump kick people. And drive fast cars. And take off his shirt.

Frankly, I’m totally OK with that. Dwayne Johnson should take a few notes. Here’s the trailer. Discuss.

Casting Donald Sutherland doesn’t hurt, either.









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Comments

hey! i had this wet dream once.

Posted by: gp at March 18, 2010 10:38 AM

The Statham! He can read the phone book for two hours on film and I'd pay full price to see it.

Posted by: Shu Shu Fontana at March 18, 2010 10:42 AM

Dude. The Statham? And Ben Foster? I can't handle that much eye candy this early in the morning.

I guess I won't be needing that coffee after all.

Posted by: Jelinas at March 18, 2010 11:08 AM

The Statham and Ben Foster: two of my favorite things.

Posted by: MM at March 18, 2010 11:14 AM

Oh shit. I got some Statham in my eye. Don't panic. It doesn't burn so that's good, right? Whew this shirt is itchy. Lemme just undo a few buttons here. That's better. I wonder if I can swing by the gym during lunch? Drink some whiskey and think it over. What was that? Danger? No, not this time. Speaking of, why don't I own a gun? Or several guns? And nunchucks. I need to call my guy and stock up. Jesus this shirt sucks! Get off me! That was a sweet karate mov---Where'd these pecs come from? And sweet mother of six-pack! No, don't question it. This is a gift. A gift of fists and elbows for anyone who crosses me. I'm hungry for steak and tits. Okay, I'll hit the gym then swing by The Cheetah Club for lunch. Maybe I'll call my buddy---wup, no no no. No friends. Friends cause problems. Remember your 3 rules for life: 1. Reluctantly make friends in only the direst of circumstances. 2. Don't take shit from nobody. 3. When in doubt: Tits. Now where did I park my Aston Martin . . .

Posted by: Kballs at March 18, 2010 11:33 AM

I heard that, this one time, a tyrannosaurus with nunchucks looked at The Statham with something akin to a glint of malice so The Statham flip-kicked that bitch in the teeth. True story.

Posted by: admin at March 18, 2010 11:40 AM

30 Days of Night a bad movie? It beats the crap out of every other contemporary vampire movie and tv series, and then some!

Also: Did I glimpse Donald Sutherland in that trailer? Holy Hell, I'm in!

Posted by: FabMax at March 18, 2010 11:44 AM

Pray imagine I said something witty here. I'm too busy drooling to form a coherent thought. Such a beautiful ugly man.

Posted by: Reba at March 18, 2010 12:11 PM

I think The Rock is making a movie about revenge. He gets out of prison and goes after some people. But the movies is being produced by CBS films so im not sure if its straight to tv or what. To me it had potential until the whole CBS part.

Posted by: sad rockstar at March 18, 2010 12:59 PM

Ben Foster and Jason Statham? Santa Claus is real!

Posted by: ThunderSacTriumph at March 18, 2010 1:28 PM

If I was a girl, I would totally squeal right now.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at March 18, 2010 1:42 PM

Jason... I love you...

Posted by: Simon at March 18, 2010 1:49 PM

The thought of seeing Statham and Foster acting face to face makes me feel all smurgly in my no-no.

The 'splodey stuff seals the deal. A theater seat. My ass. Coming soon.

Posted by: Jerce at March 18, 2010 3:25 PM

Ben Foster was good in Pandorum.

And he was the only good thing in Alpha Dog.

Besides Olivia William's private parts that is.

Posted by: John W at March 18, 2010 7:04 PM

I am already there in my head. Look, I watched Death Race for Statham. Do you hear me? Death Race. That movie was certified, undeniable ass. Look it up.

I'm gonna go tell my husband about this movie. That sound you are about to hear is him squeeing with joy like a little girl.

Posted by: greer at March 18, 2010 7:06 PM

Wonder if they'll keep the ending from the original? I'll go see this, but can we trust the man who directed Con Air to make a non-idiotic film? Ben Foster's awesome....had no idea he was in "30 Days" til you mentioned it...was he the dirty, crazy vampire emissary dude at the beginning? IMDB time at the Apollo. As a favor to me, please never use the phrase "The Statham" again. Much appreciated.

Posted by: stryker1121 at March 19, 2010 10:52 AM

greer: If you think Death Race was bad (which it was), be thankful that your Statham love has not caused you to watch London. Statham spends the whole movie whining about his life and following the kid from Fantastic Four around. He throws, like, one punch. And the worst part? He spends the whole movie WEARING A SHIRT.

I'll wait while you ponder why anyone would do this.

Moving on: I have been rooting for Ben Foster since he was on Flash Forward back in the day, and I think he'll be a wonderful counterpoint to Statham's pecs and general ass kicking. Count me in.

Posted by: burpany at March 19, 2010 12:59 PM

"He spends the whole movie WEARING A SHIRT.

I'll wait while you ponder why anyone would do this."

The fuck you say. I wouldn't waste my ti-

*logs on to Netflix to update queue*

Posted by: greer at March 19, 2010 7:13 PM